Meanwhile, Merlin waved his wand, recited a spell, and teleported Lancelot to where the wizard was at: Scotland. Lancelot looked at Merlin and Surly at the same time.
"Where are the guards?" he asked.
"They are busy invading Wales," Surly said.
"Perfect…" said Lancelot with a creepy smile.
The evil ones had already contaminated over 25 towns. It was getting harder and harder to spread because of how aggressive some of the cities were, but none of the bad guys really cared. They knew that they had Morgan to help them frequently in tough times. They also knew that the Evil Force was always watching their every move, making sure that his plan was going really well. So they continued to scream, shout "Frick!", calmly slam items, and make swords out of sticks in order for evil justice to serve. Suddenly, Merlin sensed someone had broken into his secret lair without permission! He decided to whistle for Morgan to locate his lair and tell the people to get lost. But Morgan didn't know where Merlin's lair was, so the wizard groaned and decided to use his magic mace to teleport there. Only then, he realized that his mace had disappeared.
"Burp!" one of the stupid babby characters said. "What, I thought it was a piece of candy! I didn't know that because I'm dumb. Hey, I'm not called a 'stupid babby character' for no reason. Like, come on!"
And then Merlin did something far, far, far worse than what the King did to Gawain. What the King had done to Gawain was not actually extremely graphic, it was just a punch fight. I lied when I said I would go to prison for saying that; I was just trying to emphasize how angry the King was. But this time, what Merlin did was so horrific, so scarring, so graphic, so immoral, and so fudged up, that every single bad guy - including the far-right dictators throughout history - in the entire cosmos would be scarred for life if they heard about it and they would never forgive what the wizard did. It was more than just a punch fight. I literally can not say what Merlin did, not just because I'll go to prison, but because I'll be one of the most hated people in history for sharing something so heartbreaking and cruel. If you want to imagine what he did, think of the worst things you can imagine. Well, Merlin did something a zillion times worse than all of them, and that's frickin' awful!
There were 1,000 people witnessing the event and they cried so much and so loud that the whole Earth shook with upset citizens. After Merlin was through with the victim, he realized what he had done and got so frightened and upset, that he didn't think he was going to Hell, he knew he was going to Hell. He looked around and saw the 1,000 witnesses and nearly crapped himself. He anxiously said, "Hi…" and that was the trigger. Everyone started to punch and kick the piece of crap and carried him to get burned at the stake.
"It was an accident!" Merlin tried to justify. But then he remembered that what he did was basically the worst thing to ever happen, so he never forgave himself. He wanted to suffer.
"False alarm, guys! Please just give me what I deserve! I hate myself forever!"
"That's exactly what we want to hear!" the people shouted as they took Merlin away.
Inside Merlin's lair, the four noticed a bubbling cauldron sitting in front of them. They turned down, looked inside, and saw some Magic Treasures that hadn't been picked up. They looked so magical and scrumptious, but in hindsight, they contain a deep, dark magic that does not want to be undone. Also, they could see Barney the Dinosaur's face in one of the bubbles of the cauldron's liquid. The four looked at each other - knowing what each of them were thinking - and picked up the cauldron. They rushed to the dank hallway to look for a specific room that will be revealed in a moment. But because Merlin's lair was so big, it was hard for them to know which room was which.
"What kind of person would live somewhere like this?" Gawain wondered.
Once they found the bathroom, they poured the 10-gallon liquid into the ancient toilet and pulled the handle. The toilet flushed and flushed as the liquid went all the way down to arrive in the sewer. The four high-fived and tried to think of a way to wipe the evil magic away until the end of time. Actually, even after the end of time, because nobody wants to be a stupid babby character!
Arthur said, "How about I kick his - "
"No!" Gawain interrupted. "How about I kick his - "
"Quiet, you two," said the King. "Why can't we all fight together?"
"Well, it's because I've never been in a battle and never practiced for one," Guinevere stated.
"Oh," went the King. "Well, I'm too old to support myself during a war to end all dark magic. You two are on your own."
"No! No! No!" repeated Gawain. "I should do it because I'm a powerful knight! Nobody can stop me! Arthur is a little girl compared to me!"
Arthur got really mad. "Would you actually shut up and throw away your egocentric beliefs?!"
"Be quiet, I said!" ordered the King.
"Guys!" Guinevere shouted.
There was lots of annoying noise coming from the four as they wanted each other to shut up, only they never followed their own advice. Then, the Evil Force got so irritated from watching the four talking about nothing that he transported and popped out of the cauldron. The four finally shut up for once and looked at the Force. He was basically a black cloud of gas with a barely visible face inside of it. He cracked a wicked smile and challenged both Arthur and Gawain to fight him.
"Oh, you little people," the Evil Force said in a deep voice. "I know this might sound rude, but I'm evil, so it's not surprising. Arthur and Gawain are both bad at fighting. Think about this: you have never accomplished anything in your lives. And guess what? I did something far greater than anything you fools have done! I put some various instructions on different types of evil in a personal book that I have written hundreds of years ago. And it just so happens that that old, creepy, weird wizard accidentally made his own recipe that was almost the same as mine! He's just so stupid."
The Evil Force pulled up a rectangle made out of dark mist, which was similar to a television, and showed them news people warning others about the pandemic. But, of course, the citizens found it not to be credible and therefore were tricked into eating the Magic Treasures. The Evil Force chuckled with malicious intentions before he saw a commercial for losing weight.
"Don't drink water;" said an Englishman with huge muscles, "it reduces your stronk muscles."
"Wait, what the heck?!" the Evil Force shouted. The four were also really confused.
"My name is Stronk Guy," the Englishman continued. "I know you're struggling to be stronk even though you are not interested in it! Don't worry! We will forcefully air this 24/7 on every mist cloud ever until the television is invented. Also, when the Internet will be invented, I will spam the advertisement everywhere! Yes, I know the future because wizards told me about it. Now, drinking water, as I said, does not reduce calories, it reduces stronk muscles! The reason that…"
"Turn it off!" Arthur yelled.
"I'm trying!" the Evil Force shouted as he punched the cloud. "Every time I skip this ad, it just starts over!" And, just like the Force said, the ad started over 17 times before he decided to close the cloud and convert it to air.
"Now, like I was saying, I win! You two cowards couldn't even fight me if you tried! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
And just then, Arthur punched him in the gut. The Evil Force gave a dirty look at the man's face and then looked over at Gawain. He knew that this was a call for war.
"Let's get it on…" the Force said. "And geez, let's get out of this bathroom! Does that stupid wizard ever clean it?! There's literally grease in the shower!"
And just in time, the Force teleported the four to "the Void" as many people call it. Arthur and Gawain were scared, but they knew they had to do it to save the entire cosmos. They took deep breaths and walked closer to the Evil Force.
"Be careful over there!" the King yelled.
"What he said!" Guinevere encouraged.