"Fellows of the Kingdom!" shouted the King. "We got a winner!"
The crowd cheered wildly in independence and victory. Everyone was so happy to be back to normal that some were hugging people they didn't even know. After the applause, the King called Merlin to come up beside him in front of the castle. Merlin cleared his throat and began his apology.
"Friends, we all know how this turned out. I created those marshmallows…"
"You created them?! King, execute him!" shouted a woman.
"For crying out loud," Merlin said. "Would you just listen? I thought that if I changed the ingredients of making… erm… stones… then I would have the most tasty, harmless treats ever. But I know I have messed up, so I will always follow what the book tells me to do. I'm deeply sorry for what has happened and I promise nothing will ever recreate that."
"Hey, remember when we almost burned you at the stake?" a man questioned.
"Oh, please, don't remind me of that horrific incident," said Merlin. "I have done something not even evil would do. I swear that these treats have been driving me crazy. Of course, no one could control it; I just hate my cartoony self rather than my true self for doing so. Therefore, I shouldn't have to apologize for that one, but I hope you've learned something from my sincere apology. Once again, I am sorry."
Everyone looked around and went to accept his apology and they applauded for him. Merlin stepped away and the King came up front.
"Thank you. Now, Arthur and Guinevere are behind the castle engaging in personal discussions. I will have you wait about three minutes. You can twiddle your thumbs, suck your thumb, just anything to do with your thumb. I guess - well, not everything, but you know what I mean."
Guinevere sat down with Arthur and told him, "Arthur, I know what I did was wrong; I shouldn't have cheated on you with Lancelot. I guess sometimes people just can't resist polygamy, and… you know… just want to have fun. I'm so sorry…"
"It's fine, Guinevere," Arthur told her. "You could have asked me what you wanted to do with me."
"Really?" Guinevere asked. "Because all day you seem like you've wanted to work."
"Well," said Arthur. "I've always wanted to spend more time with you, so you don't have to hesitate about having fun with me. I remember that one time, I almost got with another woman because she had a pretty necklace…"
"Really?" Guinevere chuckled.
"Well, um…" Arthur said, embarrassed. "I'm just glad we're back together again."
And as a conclusion, they hugged each other tighter than my cool jeans. Sorry about the tone change.
Then they walked over to Lancelot and asked, "What do you want to do now?"
"I don't know… just take a walk, I guess…"
And when Lancelot said "take a walk", he meant "take a walk forever", so he turned around and wandered to a far off place. There have been no reports of him afterwards, and everyone sometimes felt bad for him, even though he was just a one-dimensional character in this story.
Anyway, the King yelled at the couple to come back and they did exactly as the King told them to do. The King was stuck in a situation where he had to pick either Arthur or Gawain to be the new king of England. He just couldn't pick.
"I know you don't like me, King," said Gawain. "You can just pick Arthur."
"Gawain!" said the King. "You were awesome back there! You put your pride aside and let Arthur make the climax! That boss battle was awesome partly because of you!"
The crowd then cheered for Gawain, and he got so swollen with gratitude that he almost fainted. But then, he got woozy and started to fall to the ground.
"Are you all right?" Arthur asked.
It turned out that Gawain had gotten a severe cut from the battle when he accidentally swung his sword behind his shin. It was so swift that the wound was unnoticed until Gawain fell in front of everybody. Nobody knew what to do other than to call the hospital, so many people ran back to the town and reported the incident.
And sadly, Gawain was pronounced dead after a half-hour in the medieval hospital.
After the morgue, where people were writing memorials about one of the greatest heroes of England, they went back to the castle after 20 minutes, where the King would announce Arthur as the new ruler.
"Hooray!" everyone shouted.
"I'm a King, now?" Arthur said. "But we haven't done every method of battle yet!"
The former King patted Arthur on the back and told him a medieval phrase that was equivalent to the modern phrase, "That'll do, pig. That'll do."
As everyone rushed up to bow to the new king, 25 miles away, Merlin was talking to Surly about the incident.
"I'm very sorry about our rough times together," said Merlin.
"I'm sorry, too," Surly said. "I understand you made a dumb mistake. However, I didn't expect it to turn out this stupid. I know you couldn't believe what just happened. Now that I think about it, I'm hungry for tomorrow's breakfast."
In the morning, Arthur woke up in the castle and played some board games with Guinevere for a while. After that, they walked outside and Guinevere played with the chicken that was missing a head, still alive! The chicken recovered from the temporary trauma and had the time of her life being special. Arthur sniffed the spring flowers that had popped out from the ground. With his crown, he called his servants and his wife to help give donations out to the hospitals so that society can improve surgery and other medical phenomena. The King had a great time in his retirement home as he made up stories about Barney the Dinosaur that knocked his fellow peers' socks off. All of the gnomons were returned to their respectful owners thanks to the wizard's magic. Morgan went back to her island and continued to heal any seriously bruised or scratched warriors who needed her enchantment. And Merlin - after he woke up, got dressed, brushed his teeth, and went into the kitchen - made bagels, cereals, and toast all together. He called Surly to come to the dining room to have some delicious breakfast… without the evil, of course.
And to this day, the Legend of Magic Treasures has been spread from generation to generation. Some have even speculated its authenticity (hmmm, I wonder why) and some have even been inspired to write Arthurian legends for themselves. A few have included "Big Chungus" in their stories (which is a meme of Fat Bugs Bunny, and a really funny image), which have caused many to laugh and laugh. But there is something everyone can agree on: this would have been the most dangerous - combined with the most stupid - terror ever. But hey, that's just a theory! A book theory! Anyway, the end!