I dreamed it was my birthday...
-o-
Nahida blinked. The same walls of the Sanctuary, the same orb of green surrounding her, greeted her.
Huh. She had dozed off again, apparently, dreaming of that fateful day. The day that even her dreams couldn't erase, the desolate lands, the looks of despair mixed in with anger, the cold grip dragging her along-
No wonder your own people have abandoned you, God of Wisdom. Even from the very beginning even from your birth, they knew you were utterly, completely useless.
…or it was that Balladeer poking around Akasha in his attempt to become a god. Nahida made a face – even knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to see it, human mannerisms were so interesting! – and replied.
Oh, Doctor Ramiz had published a concept called 'projection' that I think applies here! Give it a read, it's interesting! She linked the appropriate Akasha leaf and continued. Also, don't you know it's rude to give nightmares to other people? What kind of god do you plan to be, other than a false one? Your unique circumstances give you the chance to really think this through, so you should take advantage of that.
…I AM NO FALSE GOD, YOU SO-CALLED GOD OF WISDOM, YOUR REIGN WILL END BY MY HAND-
Ugh. She slammed down on their connection when he started screaming again. Nahida had quickly learned how prone to yelling he was – she hadn't even thought it possible, to transfer yelling through Akasha's roots and branches.
The time she had suggested he had parental issues and he needed professional help? His voice had rung throughout the sanctuary as if a rishboland tiger had jumped into the middle of a flock of dusk birds. It was the one time he'd actually managed to harm her, doing more damage than his attempts to send malicious streams of information.
She had added a mental note that day: avoid directly suggesting to the patient that they should seek professional help. Now, she was adding to that note: trying to plant subtle implications so that the patient would reach the conclusion she wanted was hard. All those books in the Akasha regarding psychology and human relationships she had studied were looking to be less and less reliable.
Ever since she had slipped out of the Traveler's body, she had become increasingly aware of the false god's presence. Like how the golden scarab would roll their dung ball across the desert waves, the Balladeer was slowly but surely absorbing all the knowledge of the Akasha. With that being the only connection she had to the outer world, she would have been very much concerned – but thankfully, not even the Doctor could make up for five hundred years of practice with the Akasha.
…hmm. The scarab metaphor was a good one, but it didn't feel quite as appropriate. The process of making a false god was against the natural order, after all, so it made sense nothing from the natural world would fit like a glove-
A sudden mental ding interrupted her thoughts.
Nahida blinked. The Balladeer had sent her another message, apparently. She debated if she should ignore it, but her curiosity was her undoing.
With a sigh, she activated the typical protocols. She separated the message into several, smaller packets of information, replaced all the malicious commands with far more prettier seeds and flowers, neutralized the electro current that would have been fatal to any other human with her geo-wall, wiped the tracing attempt that would have opened a backdoor to her direct Akasha terminal, scrubbed it clean of bad words, and lowered the volume by as much as seventy percent.
YOU -pile of dookie- GOD, I'LL -kindly and calmly make friends with- YOUR FOLLOWERS FIRST AND FOREMOST, THEIR -laughter of joy and happiness- WILL BE ALL YOU CAN HEAR IN YOUR FINAL -dreamlike- MOMENTS-!
Nahida studied the leftover information, which on all accounts, made less sense than the rambling of a drunk weasel thief.
The things she did for company, honestly. The Doctor was going to pay for removing her access to the outer world. This, she swore-
Another mental ding, another message from the Balladeer. Nahida sighed.
-o-
Throughout the morning (time was hard to tell as trapped as she was, but the temperature regulation of the green orb wasn't perfect), she received no less than twenty-one messages of varying lengths and death threats. She yawned through it, just barely reading through the words while questioning her own curiosity and madness. She knew that doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results was the textbook definition of madness, and yet here she was.
More evidence she needed to learn more about the world. The people of Sumeru deserved so much more than a mad god.
But anyways, the process of becoming a god apparently involved very little effort from the one becoming the god. There was no way the Doctor would halt or even slow down his little experiments just so the Balladeer could attempt to insult her. She wondered if he was just as bored as he was – maybe that's why he was devouring the leaves of the Akasha?
When the sun was rising through the walls once again, she finally received a message that wasn't riddled with her filters. And, what really caught her attention, was that it wasn't filled to the brim with traps like all the rest of them. She slapped herself lightly, shaking away the drowsiness, before scanning one last time for any and every trap.
Nope, it was clear.
She read it slowly, slowly while giving it her complete attention.
You know what it's like, then, to be cursed from birth. Then, why? Why do you not seek revenge against those who betrayed you?
Nahida cheered. Finally, some internal reflection!
She hummed cheerfully, quickly bringing up the appropriate research papers and doctor's recommendations from the Akasha. She was halfway done with her reply when she froze, the song she'd been singing frozen on her lips.
This song she was humming… it was from the Sabzeruz Festival, when the pretty red-headed lady had danced so, so beautifully that one night within the dream-
That gave her an idea.
Before she knew it, she was in her personal, private grove within the Akasha. It manifested itself as a small forest, blades of grass that tickled her feet and the sun's phantom rays glowing warmly against her face, welcoming her. The leaves and branches around her were precious, but Nahida was focused in the middle of the grove. There, a single tree that was even smaller than her, grew with leaves made entirely of gold. They gleamed in the sun, catching the colors of light and displaying them proudly for her to see.
It was only when her arms shook she realized she was already reaching for it.
She hesitated.
This… this was her treasure, the one thing she'd never let anyone in the world take away from her. Should she really share them with somebody who was doing his best to kill her?
…cursed from birth.
Yes. Nahida nodded to herself. If the past five hundred years had taught her anything, it was that wisdom and happiness deserved to be shared with everyone.
She carefully cupped the golden leaves, one at a time, painstakingly copying every last bit of detail: the words, the tone, the faces, the emotions. She could copy any leaf, any branch in the Akasha as quickly as the morning dew disappeared in the sun, but that would lower the quality, her message, the love. For these precious memories, she would not accept that.
When she was ready and had all the golden leaves she could possibly send within her arms, she took a deep, deep breath.
Then, Nahida started.
She drove a tree trunk between the connection between her and the Balladeer, turning the usual trickle into a spilling waterfall. She could sense his emotions so closely, anger so deeply imbedded within him, a thirst for revenge against his mother, the humans, the world, and the pain, so similar to hers-
She focused, focused on herself. Then she chucked the entirety of the golden leaves at him.
All of them were packaged with just one, tiny malicious bit: to grow over any security procedures and immediately start playing.
Happy birthday, Lesser Lord Kusanali! I… I thank you again, for showing me the world and all the opportunities that could be found within it. You gave me hope, a dream, and the will to go through it. I really, really can't thank you enough-
We sing, we sing, we sing to the Sapling of Queen Aranyani! The forest sings, the pomegranates dance, the apples clap, and the forest remembers; we remember your fragrance, your warmth, your kindness, your grace-!
Hang in there, Nahida. Paimon's saying we should celebrate properly later, but for now, happy birthday. You really are one of the wisest gods I ever met, so I know you'll prevail-
Lesser Lord Kusanali, happy birthday! Though I don't dare to overstep my boundaries as a simple dancer, one performer out of many, I hope that my Dance of Sabzeruz has reminded you, even for a moment, of your friends and followers-!
For once, it wasn't her that shut down the connection. A sudden sting, an ice-cold scalpel of cryo, had her gasp out in shock. She opened her eyes, and she was back in her cage.
Nahida tried to reach out to the Balladeer, but any and every connection she had with him had been severed completely. She supposed the stream of prayers and goodwill was too much for the fledging god. For that, she pitied him.
…or was it the Doctor? Oh, it was the Doctor.
…how terrifying, to be able to manipulate the Akasha to that degree within a mortal's lifespan. Nahida would be impressed if she wasn't so filled with utter loathing for the cruel, wicked man. Really, how was it that despite their coming and going with the passage of time, the sages never changed-
She sighed and closed her eyes again, leaning against the cool orb of green trapping her. Maybe the Traveler could redeem the lost puppet, she supposed. But for now, she would wait and hope, dreaming about another day.
In the meantime, she would care for her precious garden of memories within her sanctuary.
-o-
...and it was a lovely, lovely dream.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAHIDA! With Nahida's trailer being a heart-wrenching piece of art, I couldn't help but wish that the birthday girl's birthday was something she could look fondly back on. That, alongside my idle curiosity as to what she'd be doing in the time she's trapped in the Sanctuary, gave birth to this little story within one day. Yep, I'm surprised by myself too. I'm sooo going to be sooo tired tomorrow, but I'll regret that tomorrow!