Please Neal, Teach Me To Dance

Notes: While not a story specifically about the relationship between Neal and Peter (but most of the interaction is between them), this was written for Caffrey-Burke day 2022 in that if I didn't have that deadline, this would never have been finished.

A sequel to the drabble "Howdy y'all" (ch.21 in 'Drabbles From A Chaotic Mind')

"Peter, it's eight am on a Saturday. Why are you here?"

"I came to talk to 'Matt'."

"You still on about that. I told you! It's not a con! Line dancing …"

"I know, doesn't fit with the whole suave Neal Caffrey image, especially that get up you were wearing."

"There was nothing wrong with what I was wearing! You were only missing the hat yourself."

"So why the need for an alias then?"

Seeing Neal about to object, Peter held up his hands. "Sorry, pseudonym if you prefer. Or maybe stage name? And I know you only use it with the class. That you didn't lie to the studio owner, the very attractive studio owner. That she knows it's Neal Caffrey she's giving use of her studio to."

"You checked? Of course you did," Neal huffed. "Trust but verify, right."

"Don't you know it, Buddy."

"Then what's the problem?"

"El."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yeah. She enjoyed your class. She wants to go again."

"Okay? … and that's a problem because …?"

"You may not have noticed, but I seem to have two left feet."

Neal gave a laugh. "Oh that. No, I'm pretty sure the whole class noticed that. Especially when you gave up and sat out the last half of the class."

"Well that's the problem. I need you to teach me, so I don't embarrass El."

"I think you're a little confused Peter," Neal said with a smirk. "I don't think Elizabeth was the embarrassed one."

"Watch it Buddy. I didn't check into the financial arrangements around this line dancing caper of yours, but that can change."

Neal shot Peter daggers but before he could say anything, Peter held up his hands again.

"Sorry, this is getting nasty, out of hand. Really, all I came here for was to ask for your help. So that I can take my wife dancing and not feel like a fool, left sitting on the sidelines watching."

Neal took a few seconds, just looking at Peter, before responding. "You do know Peter, that what attracts some people to line dancing is that it doesn't require a partner. In fact, well over half the class are actually there by themselves, or with friends but not partners. If you really aren't comfortable with it, Elizabeth could come to my class without you."

"I know that Neal. But I want to spend time with my wife, and this is something I thought maybe El and I could enjoy together. I'm appealing to the romantic in you. Help me out here. Please Neal, teach me to dance."

Neal continued to look at Peter while he thought to himself, how hard could it be? They were only five weeks into a beginners class after all. And Peter had been an athlete so he had to have a sense of co-ordination, of movement, hidden away in there somewhere, right?

"Okay, for Elizabeth. I guess I should encourage the 'romantic' in you since I'm usually giving you a hard time about your lack of creativity when it comes to romantic gestures and attention to Elizabeth."

Fortunately, Neal's loft was open and sparsely furnished allowing plenty of room to teach Peter the basic steps. What it did lack though, was the mirrored wall of the dance studio which would have enabled Neal to observe Peter's efforts to copy him. For the steps that only involved moving left and or right, this wasn't too much of a problem as Neal simply faced Peter and performed the mirror opposite of what he was instructing. For the others, Neal quickly realised the only way he could be sure Peter was actually following him, even for simple things like taking steps forward, back, or kicking, was if after first demonstrating, he then stood beside Peter as he gave instructions. He couldn't believe how much trouble Peter was having with simple things like telling his right from his left so he could step off on the correct foot.

"Peter, relax, you're over thinking and making this much harder than it really is. You know right from left, how to walk, run, kick. You've probably performed more complex moves, without thinking, chasing down suspects." Neal grinned cheekily. "I'm sure I challenged you at times."

"Oh you were, and are 'challenging' in so many ways Caffrey!"

Neal gave a short laugh. "That's why you like me so much. Because you enjoy a challenge."

"Who says I like you," Peter shot back.

Neal chuckled again. "Haven't you heard Peter, actions speak louder than words." Not giving Peter a chance to respond, Neal continued on. "But back to the task at hand. You did sports at school and college. Just think of this as another sport you're learning the moves, or plays, for. It's just a different training routine."

Peter glared at Neal. "So says Mr As Agile As A Cat, Mr As Smooth And Flexible As A Gymnast."

"And try not to look at your feet so much. You don't need to look at your feet to tell left from right when walking. Or when you're pitching or running to catch a baseball. Dancing is no different."

Peter gave a low growl, but had to admit, even though it was only to himself, that things did start to go easier once he changed his mind set and started thinking of line dancing as a sport. That was until they got to the 'hip bump'.

"OMG Peter! I said hip bump not thrust!"

"I am 'hip bumping'," Peter growled.

"If you think that's your hips you're 'bumping', Elizabeth needs to give you an anatomy lesson. Stop! Please stop!" Neal ran his hands through his hair. It was turning into a very long morning. "Let's break it down." Neal continued to demonstrate as he instructed. "Feet apart. Now practice changing your weight from foot to foot. Relax! It's a bump not a sway. Bend your knee as you do it, like this. Okay, now you're getting it. Now try again with your left foot forward slightly."

Neal rolled his eyes. "You're thrusting again Peter. Stop. Please!"

Neal sighed heavily. "It's your two hips you want to move Elvis. First bump one," he poked his own left hip bone as he 'bumped' it, "and then the other," poking his right hip bone as he demonstrated. "There's no forward and back with your groin. Just hip to hip. Like this."

Peter tried again. Neal covered his eyes and shook his head. He held his hands out in a stop gesture. "Let's move onto the 'jazz box' shall we."

"What about the hip bump?"

"Practice at home. In private."

Twenty minutes later Neal declared enough of learning individual steps and called a five minute break. Peter grabbed a bottle of water for each of them from the fridge while Neal got his laptop and USB with the music for the dances set up on the kitchen counter.

"I don't have a separate external speaker so we'll have to make do with just the laptop's internal speakers. It isn't great, but should be fine for here."

"How many dances do I need to learn?"

"There's the six I've covered so far in the classes, and then if you want to get a head start, there's the one I'll be introducing on Thursday."

"Seven?" Peter said with a touch of anxiety in his voice.

"Relax Peter. They're all 'absolute beginner' dances so assume no knowledge. Most only contain three or four basic steps that are repeated, with a simple turn to move from wall to wall. You won't even need half the steps I've shown you this morning. I'll break each dance down into segments and we won't move on to a new segment until you're confident. As you learn each new segment, we'll then add it to the previous one until all the steps, one wall, has been covered. Then it will just be a matter of repeating that routine as we move from wall to wall counter clockwise."

Neal took a final swig of water. "I'll cover them in the same order that I introduced them to the class. The first one is 'The Electric Slide'. It should be easier for you if you stand behind me and follow. I'll demonstrate first and then you have a go following me. Okay? You ready?"

Peter nodded.

"Okay. I'll demonstrate first." Neal turned to face his kitchen wall. "We start with a grapevine to the right. So weight on your left foot. Right foot leading. Side, behind, side touch. Then we repeat that going back to the left. Side, behind, side, touch." Neal turned to face Peter. "Now you give it a go." Turning back to face the wall, Neal repeated the steps with Peter following behind easily.

About seven minutes later and Peter was ready to try his first dance to music. "I'll continue to talk you through the steps throughout the song, but I'm not going to stop, so if you do lose your step or stuff up, don't panic, just stop and when you're ready jump back in, even if it isn't until we move onto the next wall."

Peter surprised himself and made it through his first dance only missing one 'scuff and turn' to a new wall, but managed to pick the dance back up after the first grapevine to the right.

Each dance took approximately ten minutes or so to learn and then dance through once to music, and an hour later Peter was feeling pretty pleased with himself having successfully, or so he felt, learnt five dances. Whether or not he'd remember them, or be able to dance them without Neal calling out the steps, he wasn't so sure.

They'd covered 'The Electric Slide'; 'Mamma Maria'; 'One Step Forward'; 'Crazy Postman'; and 'Cowboy Charleston'. The only dance left was the one Neal had introduced to the class the week before, 'The Cupid Shuffle.' Neal closed his eyes and rolled his eyes behind his closed lids as he tilted his head skywards for just a second or two. It was simple, in theory, maybe even simpler than the others he'd already taught Peter. An 'absolute beginner' dance with three basic moves – steps right and left, heel touches, and then small steps to take you a quarter turn round to the next wall. Only they weren't plain steps. To jazz them up, Neal had taught them with a bit of hip movement! Neal mentally crossed his finger, toes, everything he could and hoped he wasn't in for a repeat of the 'hip bump' fiasco.

Neal's quick, but silent prayer had not gone unnoticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You don't sound very convincing, Buddy."

"The only dance left is the one I taught at the beginning of the lesson last week. 'The Cupid Shuffle'. How did you go with it?"

Thinking back, Peter frowned before his eyes suddenly widened as he realised what Neal was concerned about. Unfortunately he couldn't say the concern was unwarranted as he had been totally lost from the first step. That twisting thing with his foot Neal had done to add a bit of hip swivelling to his side steps, and the way Neal had rolled his hips while doing the quarter turn… El had mastered it straight away, but it was what had set Peter up for failure from the very start of the class.

Reading Peter's expression, Neal said, "That good hey? Not to worry. We'll just do plain steps, no extra sashaying and we should be right. Then if you want to add a little style to the steps or turn, you can practice at home."

"El was so good at it. I don't want to look like a uncoordinated buffoon next to her."

"The basic steps are really easy Peter. As easy as, or easier than the other dances we've already done. As long as you do them with confidence, you'll look fine. Besides, I'm sure Elizabeth would enjoy teaching you to add a bit of sashay to your steps."

Peter smiled at the thought of El teaching him to swivel, or roll, his hips. That could be fun.

"Okay Neal. Show me the basic version and I'll let El add the style to my steps."

After successfully completing 'The Cupid Shuffle', both men had retired to the apartment's balcony, for a cup of Italian roast and a well-earned break. From his seat at the table on the terrace, Peter looked thoughtful at Neal standing at the parapet, staring out at the Manhattan cityscape. Not for the first time, he considered how little he knew about his friend, especially before his 18th birthday.

"How'd you get into line dancing Neal? If it's not a part of Neal Caffrey, I assume it was before you left home?"

Neal didn't respond, keeping his back to Peter as he continued to stare out from the terrace. Peter didn't say anything more. He knew he'd been taking a chance even asking about Neal's past so he just waited to see if he would get an answer or if Neal would instead, take control of the conversation and swing it around to something in the here and now. After a few minutes silence, Neal turned to look at Peter.

"There was this girl."

"Why am I not surprised."

"Do you want to hear this or not."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Go on."

"As I said, there was this girl, Jessica. Her parents owned and ran the local dance studio. It offered all the standard stuff – ballet, jazz, tap, modern, plus ballroom dancing. Then when the whole Billy Ray Cyrus phenomena hit, they jumped onto the band wagon and added line dancing. Jess loved it and by the time she caught my eye was actually teaching a couple of the classes. I liked Jess so …"

"You took up line dancing."

Neal had a far away look in his eyes as he nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

"How old were you?"

"Fifteen, sixteen."

"What happened? Did you win the girl?"

"Yeah, we dated for a few months. I got good at line dancing." Looking at Neal sipping his coffee, almost as if he was using the coffee mug as a barrier, Peter sensed there was more to the story.

"And …?"

Neal's tone changed from the wistful, almost sorrowful affect it had had while he'd been recounting the story to abrupt and emotionless, cold. "And nothing. We dated for a while. We broke up. End of story," he said, effectively closing the topic of Jessica down. He swallowed the last of his coffee and walked past Peter inside to put his mug on the kitchen counter. Turning, he plastered on the standard Neal Caffrey smile as Peter came up behind him. "Here, I'll take that," he said reaching out to take Peter's mug.

Stunned once again at how quickly Neal could recover, switch off or supress his emotions and put up a façade, Peter chanced another question as he handed over the mug. "This class you're running, it's the first time you've done line dancing since you were 16?"

"I didn't say that. There may have been a time before you caught me that my line dancing skills came in handy, but you'll never know," Neal said with a teasing smile. "Now do you want to get a head start on the new dance I'll be introducing on Thursday or not?"

"Okay, what's next?"

Feeling a little mischievous, or maybe that was evil, Neal hit play to start the music for the dance he'd be teaching at the next class. "This is what we'll be learning next."

'First, when there's nothing. But a slow glowing dream. That your fear seems to hide…'

Neal saw the moment Peter recognised the song and the fear that flashed across Peter's face. He couldn't help himself and let out a short laugh. He hit Peter on the back of the shoulder. "Don't worry Peter, I'll have you channelling Jennifer Beals in no time."

Peter glared. "You're joking right. If you're thinking of getting me to throw myself across the floor on my ass, spinning like a top, or any other form of unnatural contortion, I think it might be time for you to try an orange jumpsuit again."

Neal laughed and hit the stop button on his laptop. "You throwing yourself across the floor, landing on your ass at my feet? What an image! But no. There's no breakdancing. No sliding across floors, splits, 'spinning like a top' or any other 'unnatural contortions'. Or welding equipment involved," he added. "They can choreograph a line dance to just about anything today. But this one is a step up from the others we've done."

"I bet!"

Grin still firmly in place, Neal continued. "It's a bit faster, made up of a couple more steps than the others, and has a turn in there. But it's only a step up from 'absolute beginner' to 'beginner'. And just think how impressed Elizabeth will be with your moves."

"Just tell me, Neal, that this is what you were intending to teach at your next class all the way along, and not a last minute decision you've just made."

Neal dutifully complied. "This is what I intended to teach at the next class all along and is not a last minute decision I've just made."

"Sometimes I hate you Caffrey."

Neal laughed again. "Honest Peter, this is what I had planned. After five weeks I thought people would enjoy something a bit more lively, fun, and challenging. It really is still a beginner dance and doesn't have any steps that I haven't already shown you. You'll be fine and it will be easier to learn it now, with one on one instruction, without the anxiety of others in the class watching. But if you prefer, we can forget it and you can learn it on Thursday, with everyone else?"

Peter sighed in defeat. "You're right." Squaring his shoulders he said, "Come on then 'Jennifer', let's get started."

An hour later, a mentally exhausted Neal was seeing an equally physically exhausted Peter out the door.

"See you tomorrow, Neal, about 11?"

"Okay Peter, see you then."

Neal sighed as he leaned against the closed door. He'd spent half his Saturday teaching Peter the basics of line dancing and managed to survive with his sanity intact – barely. But it seemed that was just the beginning. He'd then gone and agreed to spend an hour tomorrow, and an hour each evening after work, taking Peter through 'Flashdance', and the couple of dances from previous weeks he'd be revising in his next class. He suspected it was going to be a long week. A very long week.

Diana frowned as she watched Peter in the break area, getting himself a coffee. What was that he was doing as he moved around to grab the milk from the fridge and then put it back? The way he was stepping and twisting, like a mini spin. Was he dancing? It wasn't the first time this week she had noticed Peter move strangely.

After Peter left and went back to his office, Diana made herself a coffee and walked over to Jones' desk.

"Hey Jones, have you noticed anything weird with Peter this week?"

"You mean the way he steps back and forth, or side to side, or one foot across the other back and forth for a few seconds now and then?"

"So it's not just me?"

"No, and from the way I've caught Caffrey smirking a few times, I think he knows what's behind it."

Jones stood up and he and Diana approached Neal.

"Okay Neal, spill," Diana demanded.

"Sorry?"

"What's going on with Peter and his little dance steps here and there?"

"Don't plead ignorance," Jones added, "I've seen you smirking at him, just like you're smirking now."

"He and Elizabeth have decided to take up line dancing. Peter's first class didn't go so well so he's been spending a bit of time this week practicing. I guess, maybe a bit too much time. You know how driven and focussed he can be. I don't even think he realises that he's doing a little step tap, step turn, or rocking chair now and again."

"You know this because he told you?" Diana asked with suspicion in her voice. "And since you recognise the steps, does that mean you're learning it too?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what exactly, Caffrey?" Jones asked.

"I'm teaching him. I teach the class they're taking."

Both Jones and Diana were struck speechless for a few seconds.

Diana recovered first. "You teach line dancing?"

"Yes. I can't survive on the miserable stipend they pay me here. A friend of June's daughter, Cindy, runs the dance studio. She allows me to use it once a week so I can earn a little extra."

"Wow! I don't know what I want to see more. You teaching or Peter dancing. Maybe Christie and I should take up line dancing."

Diana thought she noticed a split second flash of dread in Neal's eyes. Grinning, she turned and headed off to her own desk.

"You know she's going to look up dance studios within your radius and will have figured out when and where those classes are within five minutes don't you?"

"As long as she and Christie pay the lesson fee. I don't give friends and family discounts."

Jones smiled. "Of course you don't. But you accept the use of the studio for free?"

Neal's only response was a slight one shoulder shrug.

By the time Thursday evening rolled around, Peter was feeling very confident in his abilities and was keen to impress Elizabeth with his newly acquired line dancing prowess. Ever observant, El had picked up on Peter's energy and had a niggling little suspicion starting to grow in her mind.

After introducing himself, again as 'Matt', Neal announced that they would start with a quick revision of the previous week's dance, 'The Cupid Shuffle', before moving on to this week's new dance. Peter led El to a position within the middle of the class of students. What was considered a good position for the less confident as no matter which wall you were facing, there would always be other's, hopefully more proficient, in front of you whom you could copy.

Following a 'walk through' of the dance, Neal turned on the music and the dancing began. Taking sidewise glances at Peter, El was surprised at what she saw. Not only was Peter not tripping over his feet like the previous week, was that a little bit of a sexy hip roll he was managing as they turned from wall to wall?! Her suspicions intensified. She seriously doubted Peter had been spending an extra hour or so at the office each evening finishing paper work or writing performance assessments, as he had led her to believe.

They finished 'The Cupid Shuffle' and Neal addressed the class. "The dance we will be learning this week, while still a beginner dance, is slightly more challenging than the ones we have done so far. It's the 32 count, four wall beginner dance, 'Flashdance'."

As Neal had been talking, Peter had led El from the middle of the pack of students to a spot in the middle of the line at the very rear of the class.

"Peter, what are you doing? Don't you want to stay in the middle?"

"Nope. This is exactly where Neal wants me, and where I want to be for this dance."

Where Neal wanted Peter for this dance? El was now positive she knew what Peter, and Neal, had been up to the last week and it wasn't paper or any case work. She turned to Peter smiling, "You know being here you'll be at the front, with everyone able to follow you when we get to this wall," Elizabeth pointed to the wall behind them, "a pseudo instructor?"

Peter smiled back. "Yep, as I said, exactly where I want to be."

Beaming, Elizabeth leaned in and gave Peter a soft kiss on his cheek, before whispering in his ear, "I love you Peter Burke."

From the front of the class, Neal commenced demonstrating the first steps of the dance. "Section One. Weight on your left foot, start with your right foot. Cross right, recover, side right, recover …"