They can see the stars, which is a surprise to Ahsoka with all the smoke that came with the battle earlier. The winds carried it away quickly, she supposes, but can't help but feel it was too fortuitous, like this moment was meant for them to be here, gazing up at the bejewelled night sky. Maybe it was the Force, determined to strengthen the bonds of the young of the Order in spite of the turmoil of the war.
"Nice view." Is all she manages to remark to her companion out of the swirling thoughts in her head.
"I guess, if you only look up." Barriss remarks dryly, indicating with a nod the burned out remains of the Separatist base below.
"We have to make what we can of it sometimes." She tries to keep her tone light, not wanting to darken a mood that discouragingly already seems to be souring. They haven't seen each other in long enough, why ruin the time they do have.
Ahsoka had been very obviously excited when Anakin had told her Barriss and Master Unduli would be providing support for this mission. Too excited, surprising even herself with a joyous exclamation of "really?!" escaping her lips before she could think to stop herself. Anakin only gave her a short, wide-eyed stare, but she could imagine if Obi-Wan had been close enough to overhear he would have admonished her to "be mindful of her emotions." The truth was, after the initial shock, the strength of her reaction left her unsettled. There wasn't much time to analyze it though, the attack window was limited and it was time to get moving.
Their intel had been good and they'd cleaned up the clankers without too much trouble with the forces under the command of the three Jedi Generals. Now all that was left was for the communication relay they'd captured to be picked apart, and the data they'd won sent back to Coruscant, something that definitely did not require the presence of Barriss and Ahsoka. It was Barriss who'd suggested they climb up the short ridges that had surrounded the base, leaving it in a shallow valley, and just spend some time together, which seemed uncharacteristically lighthearted of her. Ahsoka had felt her mouth run dry at the request and had almost refused, not wanting to confront her earlier confusion about her friend. In the end though, she'd gone with for the sake of that friendship, knowing these opportunities were rare.
Laying back, Ahsoka focuses only on the sky, reaching out for that calm and peace that are so integral to the Jedi, her pulse still quickens though as she feels Barriss settling down next to her. "Maybe that's something we're all doing too much of." Her voice is dark and Ahsoka's heart trembles. It's clear some uneasiness is wearing on her mind.
"Did something happen?" She asks tentatively, trying to be strong and not give into a creeping fear for Barriss.
A sigh comes from beside her. "Nothing in particular. I just…want things to be different."
"You know, we should concentrate on the moment, we can't dwell on what will be, or could be, or what should have been." It feels too harsh, even as she says it, like she's lecturing her friend. Maybe Obi-Wan is rubbing off on her, despite Anakin.
"I know very well all the good Jedi wisdom." Barriss snaps, more impatient than Ahsoka has ever heard her. "Nevermind, let's not worry about it," she adds after a moment, her tone more regretful than irritated.
It's like a blaster bolt to the heart to have misstepped so badly when she wanted nothing more than a perfect moment with Barriss, and she turns to face her, to try to get back on solid ground. Instead, she's greeted with Barriss's luminous blue eyes staring at her, and she can't find words to speak. There's a yearning in those eyes that Ahsoka can't name. She hopes it's for the possibilities Barriss was just mourning a moment ago, and not a reflection of the sudden storm in Ahsoka's own mind, even if a small voice somewhere inside insists otherwise. "But I want to worry about it. I - I like to try and understand you." It sounds a little ridiculous even to Ahsoka's own ears.
Barriss smiles though and at last it feels somewhat like old times between them. "I think sometimes you're the only one who wants to." She reaches out and cups Ahsoka's cheek. "Dear Ahsoka."
Joy and wonder are all she knows for a moment, but under it, Ahsoka starts to feel a creeping dread. She knows she shouldn't feel like this, not about Barriss, not about anyone. Closing her eyes for a moment, she lets the touch and happiness linger, soaking it in while she can. "Barriss, we shouldn't…"
"No, don't say it, just let this be for now." Barriss has always been the perfect Padawan, this is so far out of character for her that Ahsoka isn't sure if she should be worried or not. They're all changing though as the war rages on, her, Anakin, even the Council. Why not Barriss too?
"Alright." She agrees and reaches out to put her hand over the one still resting on her cheek. One moment can't hurt, and besides, she tells herself, they'll both be leaving in the morning. If they do their duty and go it's not really an attachment. That feels like how Anakin would see it so can't be a bad way of looking at it. "No matter what, I'm glad we're here right now." It finally feels like she's found the exact right thing to say.
"Me too. I sometimes feel like everything is moving too fast, like we're moving toward something and we don't even realize it. I don't know when we'll have another chance to…" Her words trail of and Barriss's skin darkens to a deeper shade of green. "Be close."
Ahsoka's skin is tingling where Barriss's touch still lingers and her heart is beating wildly. The girl laying next to her flushed and wide-eyed is without a doubt one of the most beautiful sights in the galaxy. Just a moment, she tells herself again, and didn't she just say Jedi live in the moment. "Barriss", she whispers, but there aren't really any more words to say. Leaning closer, she gently presses her lips to Barriss's. They're soft and sweet and leave her giddy. The whole experience is new for Ahsoka, she's never dared before, but tonight seems to have woven some sort of spell over her.
Barriss returns the kiss after only a little hesitation, but when she does it's firm, and hungry, demanding that Ahsoka not end it too quickly. Lips part and tentatively they start to explore one another, the gentle beginning turning to something more passionate. When they finally part, they both take a moment to catch their breath. Ahsoka realizes they're so close now, their bodies practically pressed against one another. Her hand rests on Barriss's waist and she nervously fidgets with the fabric of her robes, wondering what's next.
She doesn't have to wonder long as Barriss's arm wraps around her shoulder and pulls her in, removing the last distance between them. "Ahsoka, no matter what, let's promise to never forget this. I want to remember us like this always." She nods and starts to agree but she's silenced as Barriss traps her in another fevered kiss.
It doesn't matter though, she's certain there's nothing that could make her see Barriss any differently than she does right now.