Chapter 18: A Beautiful Mind
SCENE: RESEARCH LIBRARY
(Amber enters the library and finds Andrew pouring over a stack of papers)
Amber: Hey.
Andrew: (Still reading) Hey, when did you get back?
Amber: Last night I was at home but I didn't find you there. I tried calling but you never answered.
Andrew: Yeah, sorry about that, I've been at the hospital trying to find something that explains why Suzanne is getting worse. We took her off the meds three days ago to study her symptoms and if we don't find something soon, she is going to die.
Amber: (Sits next to him) I know Maggie told me, does Dr. Riley have any theories?
Andrew: No, none which is infuriating so I'm going through Grey's lectures to see if any of her patients exhibited similar symptoms.
Amber: (Worried) Okay. You've been going through transcripts of Grey's old lectures?
Andrew: Well yeah, I'm going through transcripts from everyone's lectures.
Amber: (Notices the dark circles under his eyes) Are you okay? When was the last time you slept?
Andrew: (Still reading) What does that have to do with anything?
Amber: I'm just saying that you look exhausted and that you should get some rest so that you can be of better help to Suzanne. Why don't you tag out with Riley and-
Andrew: (Frustrated) Look can you just stay out of this? You've been on vacation for the last four days over some stupid Karev hunt, so you don't know anything about what these past few days have been like and what I need. So just back off all right?
(Amber looks at him hurt over his outburst and Andrew immediately feels guilty)
Andrew: I didn't mean that, its this damn case that I can't solve I…I'm sorry.
Amber: (Nods) So am I…I really need you right now Andrew. I was just hit with a bus when I was in Kansas that I can't tell Jo about because Alex should be the one to tell her. My brother is not returning my calls or texts and my best friend in the world isn't speaking to me. And now the one person I feel I can talk to is snapping at me because I am concerned about him even though he hasn't asked me how I am doing. I feel like I'm falling apart.
Andrew: Your right but I am here for you, okay? I am it's just not a good time and I'm not in the right head space. Can we leave this talk for tonight? Please I have a feeling that I am close to saving Suzanne's life and once I do, I am all yours I promise.
Amber: (Sighs) …Okay I'll leave you to this case but try to get some sleep please.
(Andrew nods and Amber leaves the room. She spots Dr. Riley at the station and approaches her)
Amber: Um hi Dr. Riley I'm Dr. Amber Karev, I'm a second-year resident here and I wanted to talk to you about Andrew DeLuca.
Riley: What is your relationship with DeLuca?
Amber: I'm his friend and I was just coming to ask you if there's any progress on Suzanne's diagnosis?
Riley: Everything I rule out is progress.
Amber: Okay but are you guys working in shifts? Because I was with him for a few minutes and I could tell he hasn't slept or eaten by the bags in his eyes and how his scrubs aren't fitting.
Riley: By the time I brought someone else up to speed, Suzanne could be dead and DeLuca he's a machine.
Amber: But he's not a machine he's a resident and it seems like he could use a break I think he's obsessing over this case.
Riley: I'm relying on that and Suzanne's life may depend on it. Now excuse me I have to get Suzanne's pericardial biopsy results.
(Riley leaves her at the station worrying about Andrew when Jo goes up to her with a smile)
Jo: Hey, welcome back! How was Austin? Was it as weird as they say it is?
(Jo welcomes Amber back with a hug)
Amber: (Pulls back) Um weirder actually, have you heard from Alex yet?
Jo: No not yet, he says he's going through something and that he needs time. Why? Have you?
Amber: …No, same as you radio silence but I'm sure he'll call us back don't worry. I uh I have to go help Altman with her post ops so…
Jo: Sure, we'll talk later. I have to operate on a woman who was attacked by a bear with her lover by her side while her husband is in another room with a nose in his arm because he jumped in front of the bear for her.
Amber: Ouch good luck.
(Amber leaves Jo and texts Alex, 'When r u coming back? Jo is still worried' She waits and sees Alex text back, '2nite'. Amber groans at Alex only using one word to text back to her. She bumps into Levi on the way but both of them are silent after what happened and each walk away from each other)
TWO HOURS LATER AT THE CCU
(Amber goes to check on Andrew as he reviews Suzanne's labs)
Amber: How's it going on the battlefield?
Andrew: (Rubs his eyes) Well we've ruled out a lot of diseases from scary to deadly so that's good but Suzanne is still getting worse and her sister is breathing down my neck.
Amber: Okay and where's Riley?
Andrew: She's at pathology getting a closer look at Suzanne's blood cultures.
Amber: Okay and how are you?
Andrew: (Sighs) I'm fine Amber, you don't need to babysit me.
Amber: I'm not babysitting I'm just checking on you and making sure you're not working yourself to death, that's what people do for the people they love. A concept that you are more familiar with than me I might add.
Andrew: I know that but like I said I am fine. (Groans) I have to draw more blood for more tests.
Amber: I can do it.
Andrew: Amber-
Amber: It's a simple blood draw Andrew I am more than capable of that I'm just trying to give you a break, okay? Ten minutes that's all, you need ten minutes.
Andrew: (Knows she won't back down) Fine just let me finish this chart.
Amber: I'll go and draw the blood right now.
(Amber enters Suzanne's room to find her sister trying to post a video of her)
Amber: Hi Suzanne I'm Dr. Karev, I'm here to inform you that Dr. DeLuca and Riley have already ruled out a lot of bad things which is a good sign but I do have to draw some more blood for more tests.
Hadley: (Rude) Does she have any left?
Amber: I know this is frustrating but we're doing the best that we can and working as fast as we can to save Suzanne, Hadley.
(Hadley inhales and looks away frustrated as Amber prepares to draw blood)
Suzanne: (Exhausted) Hadley. Come on. I barely have enough energy for this.
Hadley: Sorry. Okay, um, I got it. (Puts the phone up to film) Let's do it again.
Suzanne: Okay. (Starts streaming) Hey, little bunnies. It's me. I'm just checking to make sure that you're eating all your carrots and-
Hadley: No, wait. It's doing something to your mouth.
Suzanne: (Mouth is bleeding) Huh? What?
Hadley: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Her mouth is bleeding!
Amber: (Turns around) What?
(Andrew overhears from the station and rushes inside as Amber holds a tray in front of her)
Andrew: What? Open your mouth for me, Suzanne. (Observes her bleeding mouth) No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hadley: What's happening?
Andrew: I-I'm not sure.
Amber: (Suzanne spits out blood on the tray) Oh!
Andrew: Platelet count went from 250 to 5. All of her cell counts are down.
Hadley: Well, what does it mean?
Andrew: (Frantic) I just said I don't know, okay?! I just-
(Amber continues holding the tray but looks at Andrew in shock over his outburst)
Andrew: (Composes himself) I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-C-Can someone page Dr. Riley, please? We need to prep for a bone-marrow biopsy right now.
MEANWHILE AT THE SURGICAL FLOOR
(Jo approaches Levi to question him about Amber)
Jo: Hey can we talk?
Levi: Sure, what is it?
Jo: I uh I know that you went with Amber to Austin and that you're her best friend and I just…is something going on with her?
Levi: (Tries to look confused) W-What do you mean?
Jo: I mean that she has only said like ten words to me when she got back and I feel like she's avoiding me for some reason. I'm her sister but since you're her best friend I thought you would know.
Levi: (Tries to avoid telling her) Um…you know what I just think that she's jet lagged and she wants to ease herself back into work. I mean I think that she's more just focusing on getting in Altman's good graces since she's now the co-chief and she just missed a few days of work so…I mean that could be it I don't know.
Jo: (Confused) What do you mean you don't know? You're her best friend you tell each other everything.
Levi: We're um…going through something right now so if you want to know how she is you should talk to her.
Jo: (Confused but nods) Okay well I guess I can do that, thanks.
Levi: Yeah, no problem.
(Jo walks away and Levi groans as the secret is killing him)
LATER AT THE FIRST FLOOR
(Amber sighs as she walks away from the CCU to let Andrew and Riley work when Carina spots her and approaches her)
Carina: Oh Amber. (Walks beside her) Hi.
Amber: Hi. (Knows the look she's giving) I know you're worried about him, right?
Carina: Yes, for a long time now.
Amber: Yeah, I just witnessed his outburst. He's exhausted Carina. Riley is working him to death and Suzanne is-
Carina: Amber, I came to Seattle because Andrew is now the same age as our father was when his symptoms started.
(Amber stops walking and Carina faces her as they stop in the middle of the hallway)
Carina: You know as well as I do that mental illness runs in the family.
Amber: (Internally freaks out but remains composed) Carina I…I don't think we need to jump to that conclusion so quickly. I mean, he's just missing sleep that's all. He's a surgeon and his patient's circling the drain, he can't figure it out, and we've all been there.
Carina: It's not just this patient, though. There have been warning signs high highs, low lows. Do you remember when Sam left and he couldn't get off the sofa? A-And then he went and threw himself on the fire in Dr. Webber's operating room. He was very low, and he was suddenly the opposite.
Amber: I mean he's always been an emotional guy and he feels things very deeply.
Carina: Failing to understand or properly consider the consequences of your actions is a sign of mania. Amber, I don't need to tell you how these little actions can evolve into something bigger.
Amber: (Refuses to believe it) Yes, I do but I also know that you need to think very carefully before accusing your brother of having the same illness as his father.
Carina: Amber, I don't want him to have signs of mania but they are right there in front of us and I've been keeping a close eye for two years now. He's not sleeping, he's not eating, he is taking on more than he can handle I have seen this before and I would think that his state would concern you given-
Amber: (Rude) Given my family history? Carina, you dealt with manic's and I dealt with psychotics there is a big difference.
Carina: Even with a different diagnosis we both know the signs of a mental breakdown; would you be doubting me if you didn't love him?
(Carina leaves Amber in the hall to think)
LATER AT THE CCU
(Andrew and Riley work to get a bone biopsy from Suzanne)
Riley: Do you get this involved with every patient?
Andrew: (Sighs) Most patients aren't this difficult.
Riley: Yeah. Just the fun ones. So, are you dating that second year? (Andrew looks at her confused) I observe people closely because I have to as a doctor and as a person, and the way people who have slept together talk is very different than people who have not. Their bodies have a completely different language.
Andrew: Yeah, I'm dating her and we live together so it's very serious.
Riley: Hmm. That would explain her concern.
Andrew: Concern? What, did she say something to you?
Riley: Just wants to make sure I don't work you to death. It was nice.
(Andrew sighs and continues with the biopsy)
MEANWHILE AT BAILEYS OFFICE
(Amber paces outside the room for five minutes before deciding to knock on the door and opening it)
Amber: Um Chief Bailey, do you have a second?
(Amber goes in and sees Bailey sighing and sweating behind her desk)
Amber: Are you okay?
Bailey: (Airs herself with a mini fan) I'm peri menopausal, She-Karev. You know what that means.
Amber: I mean I don't know from experience but-
Bailey: I go to bed freezing, and then I wake up in the middle of the night broiling. I'm in an all-night battle with my blanket. I'm happy, then I'm sad, I'm laughing, and then I want to throw this fan at the wall. Am I okay? I mean, what, women are 51% of the population, and every single one of them have or will experience this joy at some time in their lives including you many years from now to your fortune, so in that sense, I guess I'm just fine. Talk.
Amber: Oh um…I'm worried about our chief resident.
Bailey: …You waiting for me to put this fan down? 'Cause that's not gonna happen, Karev. Sit down. Tell me more.
Amber: (Sits down across from her) Okay, so, you're familiar with the case of Suzanne Britland, right? Single mom who exhibited multiple symptoms after-
Bailey: I'm familiar with it, I was the one who did a cardiac tamponade on her when she crashed during CT. What are your concerns on Andrew DeLuca in regard to this case?
Amber: Right um…I haven't been here the last few days but even so I noticed that he hasn't been sleeping since I left and he is working nonstop.
Bailey: We all work as hard as we can to save our patients Karev if we didn't none of us would have a job.
Amber: Yes, I know but even so he is reaching his limits tenfold. Even though I hate it there's a reason residents have laws prohibiting them from exceeding their hourly limit and DeLuca is becoming an example. He is snapping at people and becoming frantic, he is obsessed with this case and I'm worried that…
(Amber pauses as her fear of having another loved one suffering from mental illness stops her from continuing)
Bailey: Worried about what Karev?
Amber: (Shakes her head and stands up) You know what I'm uh I'm probably just overreacting it's nothing just forget I said anything please.
Bailey: (Interested now) Dr. Karev sit back down now.
(Amber sighs and sits back down)
Bailey: I know from personal experience when a resident allows their personal feelings to compromise their medical judgement over someone they are dating. I want you to be honest with me, and be a doctor right now, not a girlfriend or someone who has had a history with mental instability in loved one. I want you to pretend for one minute that Dr. DeLuca is just another resident and you are a fellow resident who feels an obligation to report him for the safety of the patients. Now, do you feel that Dr. DeLuca is mentally equipped to continue treating Suzanne Britland or not?
(Amber doesn't speak for a minute trying to be in the mind state of a doctor and takes a deep breath before answering)
Amber: (Voice breaking as she admits the truth) No I don't.
(Amber closes her eyes and leans her head against her hand in despair over her new situation)
LATER ON THE SURGICAL FLOOR
(Jo walks out of the O.R. exhausted when she runs into Webber)
Jo: Hey Dr. Webber, hows the training going?
Webber: (Depressed) Lousy, I'm sure that my soon-to-be ex wife will enjoy that. And you?
Jo: Uh I'm good just dealing with a dilemma and worried about my sister ever since she came back from that conference you sent her to.
Webber: (Confused) What conference?
Jo: (Furrows eyebrows) The medical conference in Austin on nondestructive tissue analysis. She said that you sent her to see if you can update your path pen, don't you remember?
Webber: Um no I would remember that, Karev. I never sent her to any conference I didn't send her anywhere, why would she say that?
Jo: (Slowly realizes why) Excuse me.
(Jo runs past Webber to make a call)
MEANWHILE AT BAILEYS OFFICE
(Andrew opens the door)
Andrew: Chief, i-if this can wait, please, I got to-
Bailey: Dr. DeLuca, all surgeons occasionally have patients that get under their skin but-
Andrew: (Knows whats about to happen) What, uh (Closes the door) No, no, no. What did Amber tell you? That I'm making mistakes? Because I'm not.
Bailey: Uh, Meredith Grey will be taking over Suzanne Britland's care. Every test, every treatment will be approved by her.
Andrew: (Getting agitated) She's my patient.
Bailey: She's the hospital's patient. And you need to get some rest.
Andrew: So, what's your plan, then? Do you even have one?
Bailey: I have instructed Dr. Grey to put Suzanne Britland back on her medication while she continues, to seek a diagnosis.
Andrew: (Agitated) No, no, so your plan is to kill her, then.
Bailey: Dr. DeLuca, do I need to remind you to whom you are speaking?
Andrew: (Angry) Just because this hasn't worked yet does not mean that it won't, okay? We are on the verge of something. I-I know it. I can feel it. Please.
Bailey: Meredith Grey is the chief of general surgery. You should be grateful she's taken an interest in your case. Get some sleep.
Andrew: Dr. Bailey, please.
Bailey: DeLuca, walk away now before you say something you'll regret.
(Andrew is still angry but walks away in a huff slamming the door behind him)
LATER AT THE PARK
(Amber is on a park bench trying to avoid Andrew as she takes a deep breath trying to calm her active mind. She leans forward touching her knees and inhales deeply and exhaling before looking up and seeing Jo there panting)
Amber: (Composes herself) Jo, hey sorry I haven't gone back to you I-I'm just-
Jo: Is there a bear?
Amber: What?
Jo: Is there a bear in my marriage that is just waiting for the right moment to attack me and rip my nose off?
Amber: (Calms down as she grows confused) Um Jo you need to help me because that metaphor is-
Jo: I know you didn't go to Austin. (Amber's eyes widen) Yeah, Webber told me he never sent you on a conference which I found odd because I started thinking, 'why did my sister lie to me about where she was going?' And I can think of only one reason, 'she knows what's happening with my husband and she isn't telling me'.
Amber: (Gulps and stands up) Why don't we go inside the resident's lounge and I'll-
Jo: You mean the residents lounge where you feel comfortable and in control? No, I don't so sit down.
(Amber sits back on the bench with Jo above her in control of this conversation)
Jo: I called your mom after Webber told me, she said that Alex never visited and he never told her he was visiting and that she said the same thing to you when she called you the night of the accident. I was thinking that you lied about where you went because you found out where he was without telling me. You got on a plane and went to wherever Alex really is and now your back and you know something and you aren't telling me because you're his sister and I am just the idiot wife.
Amber: No Jo that is not true I-
Jo: What do you know about the truth?! (Voice breaking) You have been lying to me for weeks, I don't know who to believe anymore! I-I-I don't…Where is he? What the hell is happening to Alex? Tell me right now.
Amber: (Sighs in despair) I can't.
Jo: (Tears up) Because he's leaving me and you can't even say it to me because you're siding with your brother.
Amber: No that is not it, that's not it at all!
Jo: Then what is it?! Where the hell is my husband, Amber?! I think I deserve to know if not from him then from the only sister I have I…I thought I mattered to you at least that much.
Amber: (Stands up and grips Jo's shoulder) Jo…you have been more of a sister to me than any sister-in-law should be. And you are way better of a sibling than either of my brothers. I want to tell you I want to tell you so bad so that you don't feel this pain again. But this is something Alex has to tell you himself and he will.
Jo: (Still tearing up) When?
Amber: Tonight, he is coming back tonight he texted me this morning and he will tell you everything I promise you.
(Jo calms down but asks something she has been avoiding)
Jo: Is there someone else? Did he find an old girlfriend from his past and…?
Amber: No, he didn't that's not what this is. It is not what you think it is, not even a little believe me.
Jo: Why should I believe you after I found out you lied to me repeatedly?
Amber: Because he loves you. My brother is an idiot and he cheated in the past but he would never do that to you. He is in love with you and he always will be that is what he told me when I visited and I took his word for it even though I hate him again, that says something on the guy's feelings for you.
(Jo calms down as she hears this slightly relieved)
Amber: He will tell you what happened tonight and…no matter how you react just keep in mind that he chooses you because he loves you no matter what. Okay?
Jo: (Sighs) …Okay.
Amber: (Nods and turns to leave before adding) And for the record Jo, you matter to me a lot. And that's why I lied to you because I wanted to make sure you weren't getting hurt again.
(Amber walks away as she takes a deep breathe scared for Jo and how she will react)
LATER AT THE RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Amber goes in to get some coffee finding Taryn and Levi alone. She awkwardly walks past them and goes to the coffee station. Taryn finally speaks up)
Taryn: Levi wants to meet Nico's parents but Nico doesn't want him to come.
Levi: Taryn!
Amber: (Sighs) Why are saying this Hellmouth?
Taryn: Because he has to resort to getting advice from me which I normally don't do since you're his best friend and his people.
Amber: (Corrects) Person and not at the moment.
Levi: (Spiteful) Because I gave my own opinion and she didn't like it.
Amber: Because you didn't back me up when I needed you to especially in that moment when my life was practically falling apart. And made it worse by taking the side of… (Treads carefully due to Taryn in the room) that woman leaving me to deal with things without my best friend.
Levi: You were the one who called off our friendship not me, I wanted you to see the error of your ways and you didn't and that is on you. And you know what you don't get to be the one who is hurt right now because I lost my person when I needed her the most.
Amber: Oh, what for? To talk about your relationship with the Ortho dud who has the personality of a toilet paper? You know what while you've had those 'problems' I have had the worst day of my life during the worst week of my life so thank you for taking that into consideration.
Levi: (Sighs in sadness) It's always about you, isn't it? It can never be about my problems and the spotlight in our friendship has to be on you.
Amber: (Groans) You know what Levi yes because my problems right now are bigger, they are way bigger than your stupid relationship. My brother isn't talking to me, my sister just found out about where I've been and is probably in agony waiting for her husband to get home and my boyfriend…God! You would not survive my life for a day that much I know.
Levi: (Sniffles) Maybe not but I know that I can survive without you making light of my problems and doing the opposite of what a best friend is supposed to do.
(Amber takes her coffee and walks out of the lounge slamming the door behind her)
MEANWHILE IN THE CCU
(Andrew and Riley enter the room with Suzanne in the bed with Hadley by her side and Meredith observing her)
Andrew: Hey, Suzanne.
Meredith: Dr. DeLuca. What are you doing?
Riley: Suzanne, you have Still's disease. It's rare, really rare. Fewer than one in a million people have it.
Meredith: (Sees him prepping the IV) Dr. DeLuca, what are you doing?
Andrew: I don't have time, Dr. Grey. I don't have time to ask your permission to treat a patient that I've been monitoring around the clock.
Meredith: DeLuca, let's step away from the IV, please.
(Andrew ignores her and inserts the steroids in the IV)
Suzanne: What did he just do?
Hadley: What did you give her?!
Andrew: Suzanne, there's no cure for Still's disease, but it can be managed, and I just gave you high-dose steroids, and if I'm right, you should start feeling better almost immediately, okay?
Meredith: Dr. DeLuca, out in the hallway, please?
Hadley: Wait, what if you're wrong?
Riley: He's not.
Andrew: I'm not.
Meredith: DeLuca we couldn't have had a conversation before you did that? (Andrew walks away) DeLuca!
LATER THAT NIGHT IN THE RESIDENTS LOUNGE
(Carina enters the room and finds Amber inside changing into her casual clothes)
Carina: You need to talk to him.
Amber: I beg your pardon?
Carina: Andrea, he is spiraling, do you know what he did this afternoon?
Amber: Yeah, he found a diagnosis and gave Suzanne steroids that saved her life.
Carina: Yes, he did and he didn't consult with Dr. Grey before administering the drugs into Suzanne.
Amber: But he was right.
Carina: If he wasn't the drugs would have killed Suzanne and you know that. Andrea didn't even consider that he just did what he believed he had to do. He was not in the right mental state to make that kind of decision Amber.
Amber: You don't know if he has bipolar disorder Carina, you don't have the right degree to diagnose him.
Carina: No but I grew up with our father and I am familiar with the signs of mania that he was never exposed to. It's happening Amber, this is his breaking point and he needs help, more help than we can give him.
(Amber takes a shaky breath before sitting on a bench. She starts to tear up before laughing causing Carina to grow concerned for her as her laughter grows louder)
Amber: (Continues laughing) It's happening again, it is fucking happening to me again only this time its happening to someone I am sleeping with! (Realizes she's laughing) Oh crap I am so sorry.
(Amber continues laughing for a few moments before calming down. She then leans forward and puts her head in her hands and cries)
Amber: (Voice breaking) Why is this happening Carina? What did I do to deserve having not one, not two but three broken loved ones in my life?! D-Did I do something inexplicably horrible in my past life? Or does whoever is in charge of this stuff think, 'oh look at Amber suffering here maybe I should add just a dash of misery to that.'
(Amber breathes heavily from the stress of this)
Carina: (Kneels in front of her when she sees her panicking) Amber please just calm down it is not the end of the world. Breathe Amber breathe.
Amber: (Stands up) I need to leave I need to go before it gets worse.
(Amber grabs her bag and puts the stuff from her cubby in it)
Carina: (Stands up) What are you doing?
Amber: (Scared) I'm leaving I am getting in my car and I am driving as far away from this place as I can get!
Carina: Amber running is not the solution here.
Amber: (Keeps packing) Carina I have been through this nightmare more than once I know what happens. At first things are good they are normal and then the next second bam! They either chase you around with a knife or succeed in catching you and plunging the knife into your stomach.
Carina: (Grips her shoulders) I don't want this to happen but it is and he needs your help now more than ever. Andrew is not your mother or your brother or my father and he is not broken, and neither are you. You have to trust that he will be strong enough to face this and he can do that if he knows we are there at his side.
Amber: I got him kicked off his case do you honestly think he is gonna listen to me?
Carina: He will when he knows your doing it for his own good. Andrea will listen when he sees that you are there for him no matter what. He will listen to you because he is in love with you, you have to ignore what happened in the past and hope that what's happening now will be different. And if you don't Andrea will continue to deny this and he will end up alone and suffering just like our papa.
(Amber sighs as her fears slightly lessen with her need to help Andrew growing)
LATER THAT NIGHT AT JO AND ALEXS LOFT
(Jo enters the loft and is taken back by the sight of Alex on the couch with his suitcase beside him)
Jo: (Exhales) When did you get back?
Alex: An hour ago, I figured it would be better if we talk about what happened here instead of at the hospital.
Jo: Why because it's so awful that you think I might use sharp instruments to stab you?
Alex: No because the gravity of this is…big and I don't want anyone to find out before we tell them.
Jo: (Sits on the couch with him) Okay, so tell me first or second seeing as how you told Amber before you told me.
Alex: Third, Schmitt was with her.
Jo: Fine! I am the third person you will tell this to so tell me.
(Alex tries to find the right words to explain this but he struggles to for a minute)
Alex: (Groans) There's no good way to explain this so I am just gonna rip off the freaking bandage…I have kids.
Jo: …What?
Alex: (More steady voice) I have kids…with Izzie.
Jo: (Shocked) What?
Alex: (Sighs) Do you remember the embryos? Turns out she used them. It was six years ago after she went into full remission and she gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. God it still sounds weird, I have five-year-old kids. I found out before the trial when we were calling up our old friends for letters and-
Jo: (Still shocked) You called Izzie.
Alex: Yeah, I called Izzie and I heard kids in the background. I asked her about them and she told me everything and after that…I knew I had to meet them. Their names are Eli and Alexis.
Jo: (Looks at the coffee table with shocked eyes as she processes) She was right, it wasn't what I thought it would be.
Alex: What? Who was right?
Jo: Amber, I found out she visited you and she told me it wasn't cheating like I thought it was. I have come up with approximately 126 scenarios in my head after she told me that and this was not one of them.
Alex: (Rubs his neck) Yeah, I didn't expect this either if it makes you feel better.
Jo: You didn't know? She never told you?
Alex: No, I swear to God Jo that call almost gave me a heart attack. I wanted to tell you but I just…I had to know if it was real and it is. Also, I…I was afraid it would send you to the deep end again.
Jo: (Shakes her head) No it hasn't. Am I shocked? Yes. Am I angry that you kept this from me? Hell yes, but I am not gonna break. If anything, I am a little relieved by this and I hope Amber was right when she told me that despite this…you still love me.
Alex: (Hold her hands) I do, I love you, I am in love with you and I always will be. Nothing is gonna change that, there might be things that are gonna change in our lives but the fact that you are the love of my life is not one of them. Do you feel the same way? Knowing what you know now?
Jo: (Inhales and exhales) Alex…you wanting to know your kids is not something that's gonna keep me away. It's just an example of you being the kind and amazing person that I fell in love with. I love you Alex, nothing is going to change that and if you want to be in Eli and Alexis' lives then we will make it work.
Alex: (Amazed by her reaction) You're amazing you know that? You just…everyday you find a way to make me fall in love with you more.
Jo: (Shrugs) I guess therapy has made me more capable of big changes.
Alex: (Grins) No that's not it, you've always been this way. You've always had my back no matter what happens. It's who you are and it's who I fell in love with.
Jo: (Tears up and kisses him) I'm still angry at you.
Alex: (Chuckles) It's okay I kind of expected it and so did Izzie.
MEANWHILE AT AMBER AND ANDREWS APARTMENT
(Amber sits on the table drinking her second glass of wine preparing herself. Andrew walks inside with a blank look on his face as he takes off his jacket and goes to the fridge)
Amber: Um…good job with Suzanne, you finally found out what was wrong.
Andrew: (Mad at her) Yeah, I had some obstacles along the way but I'm glad I was able to overcome them and actually do my job.
Amber: Is that what I am now? An obstacle?
Andrew: (Drinks a beer) You reported me to the chief and she took the case away from me and gave it to Grey because of you so yeah. I think obstacle is a pretty tame word for my feelings toward you right now.
Amber: (Stands up and faces him) Andrew that was an amazing diagnosis but you administered high dose steroids to a dying woman-
Andrew: (Agitated) And it ended up saving her life!
Amber: Yes, it did but you didn't consider what would happen if you were wrong. Andrew, you could've wiped out her entire bone marrow completely and you wouldn't just lose your job you would've lost your license.
Andrew: (Puts his beer on the counter) Okay if I had asked Grey or Bailey permission to administer the steroids do you think they would've granted it?
Amber: They would've asked a few questions and made sure your diagnosis was accurate.
Andrew: Yeah, and Suzanne could've died when they did.
Amber: Okay look Andrew you saved her life and that is great but we're not talking about that. We're talking about the fact that you didn't take just one moment to tell Grey what you were giving her. Because at the time you weren't in the right head space to make that kind of decision.
Andrew: Right decisions. Life saving decisions, Amber.
Amber: Andrew you're not sleeping you're not eating you're not acting like yourself.
Andrew: (Angry) And how the hell would you know?! You've been gone for a week and the minute you come back you suddenly think you know what's wrong with me?!
Amber: (Taken aback by his yelling but continues) I knew what was the wrong the second I saw you! It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you are not okay! And it didn't help that you broke the rules because you thought you were right.
Andrew: (Yells) I saved her life! I did that, okay?! Against all odds, it was a one in a million diagnosis! I did the job that needed to be done!
Amber: (Scared but stays) Listen to yourself! You sound like your father!
(Amber and Andrew stop as the gravity of her words hit them both)
Amber: (Guilty) I'm sorry that's not what I meant you are not him but…the way your acting is alarming and…Carina thinks that you are at a mental breakdown and that you inherited his illness and I'm starting to think…I'm starting to think that maybe she's right.
Andrew: (Shocked by her words and inhales and exhales) …I missed a couple of days of sleep and suddenly you think I have a mental problem? Do you know how ridiculous that is?!
Amber: It's not and you know it! You know the mental history in your family and you know what your father was like in a manic state. Andrew you are spiraling and-
Andrew: (Chuckles) You think that I am spiraling, you the queen of spiraling who overthinks every little thing? You had a patient hack into your brother's bank account so you could find out where he went. Did I tell you that it was a sign you were having a psychotic break?!
Amber: That was different and you know it. I asked him to do it I made sure he was willing to do that for me you didn't ask before you administered those steroids you just did it. The difference is that I considered the consequences of my actions and you didn't.
Andrew: The consequences were that Suzanne would die because of a waiting period and her kids would be orphans!
Amber: No, the consequences were that Suzanne would have no bone marrow at all and that would kill her before the disease did. Can you please just try to listen to what I am saying so that we can figure this out!
Andrew: I was kicked out of my case thanks to you! So, forgive me if I am not in the mood for chatting!
Amber: Don't you dare blame me! Not after I saw you yell at Suzanne and Hadley because you were damn near exhausted to death!
Andrew: Yeah, you know what your right I am exhausted but not from work from this conversation because what you are accusing me of is completely ridiculous! For the first time in my career, I did something great on my own and you can't handle that. You have to be the shining light in this relationship you have to be the sun. And the fact that the spotlight is on me now is killing you so you go and accuse me of this just to make yourself feel like you're the better doctor!
(Amber gets frustrated by his accusation and throws the glass of wine to the floor startling Andrew)
Amber: (Yells) Do you honestly think I want to accuse you of this?! Do you think I want to add another name to my list of crazy people in my life?! I don't but I have to before you get yourself or someone else killed!
Andrew: (Taken back by her yelling) …I'm gonna go.
Amber: Where?!
Andrew: (Puts his jacket on) The hospital hopefully there I won't have crazy girlfriends yelling at me and throwing stuff.
Amber: (Exhausted) Oh my god, do you have any idea what I wanted to do when Carina came to me with her concerns? I wanted to run I wanted to get in my car and drive away like there was no tomorrow. You know my history so you know that this is causing me an actual ulcer. But I am here because I love you and I have to believe that what happened to me in the past is not happening now. I am here in spite of the fact that your behavior is scaring me. God you are lucky I haven't walked out on you.
Andrew: (Anger flashes in his eyes) Am I? Am I the lucky one here? Is that what you think? You think I can't survive on my own without you in my life?
(Andrew crosses the room and stops in front of Amber momentarily scaring her as she sees anger in his eyes but doesn't move away)
Andrew: Do you want to know what would happen to you if I left? If I didn't stick around after being exposed to all your flaws and insecurities? If I took a page out of your book and left and hid like a coward?
Amber: (Tries to stop him) Andrew DeLuca you are angry and tired. So, you better think about what your gonna say before-
Andrew: (Ignores her) You would end up like your father.
(Amber's eyes widen in shock and it quickly turns to anger as he continues)
Andrew: You'd get in your car and leave the people that your supposed to care about behind to pick up the pieces. You'd pick up odd jobs wherever you could, ignore what you did, hell you might even-
(Amber stops his tirade with a slap to the face causing him to flinch. They stare at each other in anger for a few moments before Andrew turns around and slams the door behind him leaving Amber)
CUT TO BLACK
I DONT ENJOY USING AMBER AS A PUNCHING BAG I'M JUST ADDING HER TO DELUCA'S MENTAL HEALTH STORYLINE IN A WAY I ENVISION IT.