Chapter 19: White Bird in a Blizzard
SCENE: GREY SLOAN LOBBY
(Amber enters the lobby in her parka wearing two sweaters underneath as the snow gets heavier by the minute. She sees Alex and Jo in the lobby with Alex on the phone)
Amber: (Shivers and takes her gloves off approaching them) I thought I left the snow in Iowa and New York.
Jo: Nope it just followed you here.
Amber: (Sees Alex) He's here, why?
Jo: Because Bailey and Koracick have rehired him and he is now the co-chief of peds with Hayes, yay!
Amber: (Scowls at the news) Super, I am bursting with joy.
Jo: I can tell, you got that vein in your forehead when you're bursting.
Amber: (Sighs) Has he told you? Or is he just waiting for me to?
Jo: He told me everything.
Amber: (Gives a look) About Izzie and-
Jo: Yep.
Amber: And how he wants to be in their-
Jo: Yep.
Amber: (Shocked by her calm nature) And your okay with all of that? I mean your fine with going from zero kids to having two step kids in under a minute?
Jo: I'm still getting used to it but it wasn't something that Alex had control over and he wants to make the best out of this so I should too.
Amber: Mm hm are you visiting the therapist more than regular?
Jo: Oh yeah, I have a feeling she's gonna charge me extra. And I haven't even gotten to my feelings toward meeting the infamous ex who gave birth to my husband's kids in secret.
Amber: Those two make a plan yet on how to handle this new dynamic?
Jo: Um Alex says that they're still in the early stages but they did agree to let the twins come here for their birthday so that's a start.
Amber: Oh, it's their birthday? When?
Jo: March 3rd, hopefully by then we can find a house that actually has rooms.
Amber: And your okay with giving up the loft for a house in the suburbs?
Jo: Uh yeah, you've lived with us can you honestly say you would raise a kid in that cramped space in that neighborhood?
Amber: Good point, I just wish you guys felt this way when I lived there. You could've saved me a year of self-reflection to make sure my sanity was intact. Can't wait to see you guys in suburbia hell.
Jo: (Chuckles) No, Alex and I agreed that we would not get those pod houses with the white picket fence and overly friendly neighbors who come by with a basket. That is definitely off the table.
Amber: Hmm any potential listings yet?
Jo: Um not yet.
Alex: (Hangs up the phone) Yes! They found a liver for her, it's at Seattle Pres right now.
Jo: (Exhales in relief) That's fantastic.
Amber: They found a liver for who?
(Alex doesn't answer and glares at her as he is still mad at Amber)
Jo: Elisa Tang, she's six years old and has AAT deficiency that was diagnosed after her sister died of the same thing.
Amber: Oh my god.
Alex: (Cold tone) Yeah, I was her doctor and now I'm Elisa's and Seattle Pres has a liver that's being prepped right now for transport. If you both will excuse me.
(Alex leaves them without really talking to Amber who sighs in despair. Jo looks at her knowingly)
Amber: I take it that he also told you what happened when I was in Kansas.
Jo: Yeah.
Amber: And do you think of me the same way he does too?
Jo: …I think that I have done things that are considered morally questionable in my life and so has Alex. But unlike him I know that it gives me no right to judge.
Amber: Thank you. Aside from that cold shoulder you witnessed Alex hasn't said a word to me since I left and is looking at me like I'm Gollum and I just bit his finger off.
Jo: And what about Izzie? Have you tried to get back in her good graces?
Amber: (Chuckles darkly) That would require something good in her.
Jo: Look just give Alex time to calm down and maybe try to apologize for what happened. If not for your sake, then so those kids can have an aunt in their lives. Can you think on that?
Amber: (Sighs) I will try to because at the moment you are the only sibling I have, hell the only person I have left who-
(Amber stops as Andrew passes her without glancing at her. Jo notices and feels the atmosphere)
Jo: Okay that exchange gave me more chills than the blizzard, what's going on? Is this something we should talk about?
Amber: (Exhales) No, this is something that I feel will get worse if I talk about it so…I have to go I have rounds, I'm here if you want to bitch about your husband.
Jo: And I am here if you want to bitch about your boyfriend and brother.
Amber: Thank you, best sibling ever seriously.
(Amber leaves Jo and rushes to a closing elevator and holds in open. She freezes when she sees Andrew inside alone. She reluctantly enters it and the door closes)
Amber: You haven't been home the last two days.
Andrew: (Doesn't look at her) Yeah, I wanted to help out and there's a blizzard coming so it's gonna get busy.
Amber: (Notices the dark circles under his eyes) I see you've been sleeping too.
Andrew: (Groans) Are we seriously starting this again? Aren't you getting tired?
Amber: (Gets irritated) Believe me I don't want to care about your wellbeing right now but I do in spite of you saying I would become my dead abusive, junkie bastard father without you in my life.
Andrew: After you said I was turning into my father first.
Amber: I said you were showing similar signs your father had while he was here and I said it to help you not hurt you.
Andrew: (Sarcastically) Well I'm sorry for not telling the difference.
Amber: (Scoffs) You know what that is not the kind of apology I want and you know it. I wanted to help you and you said that horrible thing knowing it would make a good knife to the back so you know what. (Elevator door opens) I'm leaving before you twist it further, once the blizzard passes, I'm moving out. Hopefully that wakes you up and makes you look at yourself in the mirror.
Andrew: (Agitated) Fine go ahead and run it's what your best at when you think trouble comes.
Amber: (Steps out and scowls at him) Are you gonna tell me that it's something my dad would do?
(Andrew sighs as the door closes with him in it and Amber stomps to the resident's lounge)
AN HOUR LATER AT PEDS
(Alex walks out of Elisa's room and goes to the station where he finally sees Dr. Hayes for the first time and approaches him)
Alex: Dr. Hayes? Hi I'm Alex Karev I'm-
Hayes: The old chief of peds who is now my co chief I've heard, welcome back the kids have really missed you.
Alex: Thanks well I hope you've kept things running smoothly while I'm gone.
Hayes: I'm still new to this chief thing but I was told I excelled as an attending back at my old hospital.
Alex: And where was that Irishland or something because I don't know what kind of accent your sporting.
Hayes: (Chuckles) I'll save you the trouble I was born and raised in Ireland but I did my residency in this country and moved to Switzerland where I was employed before Dr. Yang sent me here to fill your position.
Alex: (Eyebrow raised when he makes a connection) I'm sorry Yang? Cristina Yang? Brilliant mind with a monster personality?
Hayes: (Confused) Yes, do you know her?
(Before Alex can answer he gets a call from Seattle Pres)
Alex: I gotta go my liver is finally coming.
(Alex walks away from a confused Hayes)
CUT TO THE PEDS HALLWAY
(Meredith walks down the hall typing a text to Alex when Levi runs and bumps into her)
Schmitt: Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Meredith: Hey, Schmitt!
Alex: (Yelling on the phone) She doesn't have time, for God's sake! Come on, you can't be serious. You guys are supposed to be a freaking hospital, and you're telling me…
(Meredith stands there shocked to see Alex at the hospital but walks to him)
Alex: (Angry) Well, thanks, thanks a lot. You guys have been a big help. Yeah, thank you.
(Alex hangs up and slams his phone on the station)
Meredith: Alex, I know you've been away for a while but to remind you we usually let the parents do the screaming on this floor.
Alex: I just told my 6-year-old patient's parents that I have a liver for their dying child their second dying child, but now half a foot of snow has rendered every road in Seattle useless, apparently.
Meredith: Okay. And no airlift either?
Alex: The blizzard is blocking the view, and it's just three miles away. This kids one chance to live is only three freaking miles.
Meredith: Okay, well, I'm sure the roads are gonna be cleared up in a few hours.
(Andrew hears this conversation)
Alex: She doesn't have a few hours; Mer. INR is climbing. She's developing ascites.
Andrew: (Approaches) I'll get it.
Alex: What?
Andrew: I'll get your liver. It's at Seattle Pres, right? Give me the paperwork right now. I'll go.
Alex: (Hands the paperwork) DeLuca you're a life saver. I don't know whose service you're on but I'll cover you. Run like hell. And wear gloves.
Andrew: Yep.
(Andrew runs out to get the liver through a worsening blizzard)
LATER ON THE FOURTH FLOOR
(Amber approaches Jo at the station where she grabs a tablet)
Amber: You paged me?
Jo: Yeah, I thought you could use some cheering up from your favorite sister.
Amber: Jo the only thing that will cheer me up is a bottle of fine scotch with Emma Watson and Orlando Bloom naked on a white sand beach waiting for me. Do you have that?
Jo: No but I do have the next best thing a total adrenalectomy on an adrenocortical carcinoma. I'm doing the surgery and I'm letting you scrub in with me, doesn't that sound more fun that dealing with frost bite?
Amber: (Sarcastic) A pity surgery, that sounds fun.
Jo: It should now put on your game face so we can do pre op rounds on Tess Anderson, can you do that?
Amber: (Puts on a fake smile)
Jo: (Smiles) Great now let's go.
(Jo and Amber walk down the hall)
Amber: Listen um after the storm passes, can I come and crash with you guys just for a little while? Can you convince Alex to let me somehow?
Jo: Trouble in paradise again? Did you reject Andrew's hypothetical proposal again and you need to retreat for a while?
Amber: More like retreat completely, I'm moving out.
Jo: (Shocked) What? Are you serious? What's going on?
Amber: I don't want to talk about it can we just-
(Jo and Amber stop as Levi blocks the door to the patient room)
Levi: (Nervous) Uh Dr. Karev's! Good morning!
Amber: (Grumpy) It's not now move we need to do pre-op rounds on Jo's carcinoma.
Levi: I actually think we should save Ms. Anderson for last. Like, switch it up a bit, right?
Amber: (Grumpy) Schmitt you do not want me to push you out of the way because I might break a few bones now move!
(Levi reluctantly moves and they find the room empty)
Jo: (Stern) Schmitt.
Levi: Um, I might've misplaced her. Or she misplaced herself.
Amber: (Incredulous) How in the hell did you misplace a woman?
Jo: You misplace pens. You misplace keys. You don't misplace people.
Levi: Sure, when you put it like that, but I still don't know where she-
Amber: Find her!
(Levi runs out in fear with Jo looking at Amber in amazement)
Jo: You are gonna scare so many interns next year.
Amber: (Still grumpy) They should be scared of me I'm more terrifying than this Roland Emmerich Storm.
(Jo and Amber go out to find Tess)
MEANWHILE AT PEDS
(Bailey is irritated after Alex tells her and Carina that Andrew went out into the blizzard)
Bailey: Why the hell would you let him go out in this blizzard Karev?
Alex: Elisa is getting worse and the roads are closed and we can't get an airlift either. DeLuca volunteered and I saw no reason not to let him.
Bailey: Stupid. Cavalier. Cowboy. Doesn't ever listen. Maybe fired.
Alex: Bailey, my patient will die without that liver. DeLuca could save her. It's only three miles away.
Carina: (Calls Andrew) Have you been outside? You can't even see three feet ahead of you. Somebody needs to go after him.
Alex: (Sighs) Okay, what about Ben? Can Ben send a rig out and look for him? Get him to Seattle Pres and back?
Bailey: Last time we spoke, Ben was amputating a foot in a grounded rig. So, no.
Link: Dr. Bailey, you asked me to let you know when I discharged Joey Phillips.
Bailey: No, no! In the middle of a blizzard? What's the matter with you?
Link: Sorry, there's no medical reason to keep him. All that's left is his dispo with Social Services. He's free to go.
Bailey: (Sighs) Uh, and let me know if there's an update.
Carina: I'll call Andrea every 15 minutes.
Kathleen: Dr. Karev, something's wrong!
(Alex and Meredith enter the room to find Elisa's mouth bleeding and her monitors beeping)
Luke: Baby? Elisa? Honey, wake up. Honey?
Meredith: She's hemorrhaging. Let's hang some FFP and get two units of blood in here.
Alex: Damn it, she's unresponsive.
Kathleen: (Panicking) Oh, God.
Luke: It's okay. It's okay. She's okay.
Alex: Let's get an intubation tray in here right now.
Meredith: Let's book an OR!
LATER IN THE IMAGING ROOM
(Jo and Amber are sitting in front of the computers going over the surgery while Schmitt is looking for Tess)
Amber: We open her up and identify on the table how much the cancer has spread outside of her right adrenal. We go in transabdominally through the inferior vena cava from which we will-
Jo: Why are you moving out of Andrew's place?
Amber: What?
Jo: You said you were moving out but you never gave me specifics on why and I want to know. I want to see if I can help somehow.
Amber: (Groans) I told you I don't want to talk about it so can we please get back to this surgery.
Jo: This surgery is being postponed because a resident somehow comically lost our patient and is now trying to find her. And as you know Levi that might take a while so I think we got time to get into the dissolution of your relationship.
Amber: Just because it's gonna take a while doesn't mean I want to talk about it as I have made clear.
Jo: No, I know you don't want to but you need to.
Amber: Jo you don't know what I need.
Jo: See I do because I know how you Karev's work due to close observation for six years and being married into your dysfunctional family. I know that despite your differences you and Alex are reserved by nature and nurture it's the one thing you have in common. I know that you guys bottle up all your negative emotions, the anger, the rage, the disappointment, the sadness until it eventually becomes too much. At which point you guys find the first person you deem worthy of getting all your negative energy out on either verbally or physically…mostly physically.
Amber: (Chuckles lightly) That is not true far from it.
Jo: (Gives her a look) When Roy told everyone your secret and DeLuca rejected you, you went about your business at work until you kneed Roy in the middle of the surgical floor and threatened to castrate him.
Amber: He deserved it and-
Jo: And then when you found out your boyfriend thought he was in love with me you kept all that anger bottled in for days. You kept it inside as best as you could and in the span of one day you punched a fellow and slapped an attending who is also your sister.
Amber: Which I apologized for and you didn't hold it against me.
Jo: No, I didn't but even so those events have proven that you need to talk this out otherwise you might get fired after hitting someone else. Who knows maybe the chief will be your next target? And by then you'll lose your license so talk to me.
Amber: (Wants to avoid it) Okay I am just gonna pretend like we are co workers only and that we have a surgery to review.
Jo: (Doesn't back down) And we will after the sisterly hour is finished and you tell me what's wrong.
Amber: What makes you think you can call the shots here?
Jo: Because I'm older, I'm your boss, and I hold a card over your head allowing me to make you squeal like a pig.
Amber: What card?
Jo: The card that says you owe me indefinitely since you lied to me about where my husband was for weeks and breaking pretty much every girl code that's kept us in unity as both sisters and women.
Amber: (Groans) That is not fair.
Jo: Well neither was being lied to by my sister so…talk.
Amber: (Inhales and exhales) You remember Suzanne Britland, right? Appy patient that ended up raising more questions than answers?
Jo: Yeah, I heard.
Amber: Well DeLuca was the one that did the appy and as a result he became actively involved in the case. I left a couple of days after we admitted her so I wasn't here to witness him skipping sleep and meals to help Suzanne which became worse after they took her off the meds. I could tell he was getting worse because the Andrew that I left and the Andrew I came back to might as well be from different earths. When I came back, I was concerned naturally but I brushed it off as him being emotionally involved and stressed. Until I saw him snapping at Suzanne and her sister when she got worse at which point…I really started to worry. I was worried but I told myself he was going to be like this until the case was over that's what I convinced myself. But then his sister came to me and told me…she told me that he was starting to show symptoms of bipolar 1.
Jo: (Shocked but composed) You mean like his-
Amber: Father yes and I was…frozen at that point I was frozen by fear and pain and the overwhelming need to snap Carina's neck at that hallway for even suggesting that to me of all people. Am I going too dark for you?
Jo: No, you're good, keep going.
Amber: Right. Carina asked me if I would doubt her if I wasn't sleeping with him and…I knew in that moment I had to be a doctor so I told Bailey who then kicked Andrew off the case. I tried avoiding him all day that day because I knew what it is like on the other side of a mental rage so I wanted to run. I wanted to run as fast as possible and never look back but Carina convinced me to stay and I did. I did because I love him more than I fear him I love him and I wanted to let him know that I am not going anywhere. So, I went back to our place and drank two glasses of wine to build up the courage and…the night became a blur of yelling and accusations but the two things that stand out to me was me telling Andrew he was staring to act like his dad. I told him that and he was hurt of course but I tried to get him to see where I was coming from but he was stubborn and didn't want to admit that what was happening was bigger than him. I threw a glass of wine on the floor in anger and he opted to leave at which point I told him he was lucky I didn't walk out and…
Jo: And what?
Amber: (Sniffles) …And he told me that if he was the one who walked out, I would end up like my father. (Jo's eyes widen) Yeah, he kept going on about how I would leave like the bastard and more until I slapped him and he stopped. We then had an angry staring contest until he walked out of our apartment and left me alone. I then spent the next five hours in bed crying my eyes out listening to the most hard core and anger inducing songs I could find and today is the first time I am seeing him since all that happened. And now I want to move out so I won't be exposed to all of that crap again and feel unbridled anger towards him like you are probably feeling now.
Jo: (Composed face) …I told Alex that I would leave him if he tried to help me again.
Amber: (Confused) What?
Jo: (Exhales and leans forward) After I was caught drinking at work Alex came to the loft and confronted me. He said he was done with me being silent and distant and tried to get me to talk after suggesting he goes to Pittsburgh to find out what happened. After that I was angry and I was drunk and I told him that if he ever threatened to go to Pittsburgh again, I would leave him. (Amber leans back) I knew it would hurt him I knew it would scare him because of his extensive history with crazy girlfriends who left him so suddenly. I knew it and I used it to my advantage…I used it to hurt him like he unknowingly hurt me in that moment.
Amber: Why are you telling me this?
Jo: Because as angry as I am with Andrew for saying that to you, I also get where he is coming from. I lashed out to avoid my problems, I lashed out at the people I love and who love me including you if I recall. I didn't compare Alex to his parents but I did just as bad by ripping open old wounds. I understand what it's like to need help but not to want it at the same time and I know how that can hurt the people close to you.
Amber: (Sighs) You're saying you think I'm being self-centered.
Jo: No far from it, you are a woman who has been through this trauma more than one person should. You have a right to be angry and you have a right to take care of yourself first but…but try to put yourself in Andrew's shoes. Imagine if it was you who inherited your parents' mental illness, imagine if you became someone you swore you would never be like. Would you just go quietly and calmly? Or would you deny it because the idea of it scares you so much you want to pretend it doesn't exist? Would you want to lash out at everything and everyone because you are so angry that despite everything you've done the gene pool kicked you in the ass and it's making you suffer?
(Before Amber can answer Levi comes in panting)
Levi: I found her; she was about to do surgery on someone but I caught her before she did.
Jo: (Shocked) She was gonna perform surgery?!
Levi: Did I mention I found her in time?
Jo: (Angry and stands up) Take us to her now!
(Levi leads Jo and Amber to Tess)
MEANWHILE IN O.R. 2
(Alex and Meredith work to put in a shunt in Elisa to wait for the liver)
Alex: Think this shunt will stop the bleeding?
Meredith: Well, it's our only choice until the liver gets here…so where the hell were you?
Alex: Do we need to talk about this now?
Meredith: We've got time to kill and I'm curious so talk.
Alex: (Sighs) I was in Kansas…visiting Izzie.
Meredith: (Looks up at him) Izzie? As in Izzie Izzie?
Alex: Is there another Izzie we know?
Meredith: Why did you visit her? Why now?
Alex: …She used them.
Meredith: Used what?
Alex: The embryos that I fertilized and she froze she used them.
Meredith: (Shocked) Alex…was Izzie the only person you visited these past two weeks?
Alex: Plus, two more. Their five-year-old twins who live on a farm and bake like there's no tomorrow. Your trial exposed them when I called Izzie for a letter and she told me everything and I had to go I had to see them. I had to know it was real and it is. That's where I've been but now, I'm back and you're the fourth person who I told this too, don't be mad Schmitt knew before he came with Amber when she figured it out.
Meredith: …You have kids with Izzie.
Alex: I have kids with Izzie are you too shocked to do this? Do I need to get another surgeon in here?
Meredith: I've operated after being told more shocking information…what are their names?
Alex: (Sighs) The boys name is Eli and the girls name is Alexis.
Meredith: (Grins) Alexis, she named her after you.
Alex: Yeah, she did and I want to be mad at her for keeping this from me but I can't. If anything, I feel closer to her than I ever did, I feel more grateful for what she gave me than what she took away.
Meredith: (Afraid for Jo) How grateful are you? Is this only a temporary visit until you leave?
Alex: No, I'm staying here, I'm staying in Seattle and I'm staying with Jo.
Meredith: Have you told her?
Alex: Yeah, after I came back two days ago yeah, I told her and…she was shocked but she says she wants to make it work and I believe her.
Meredith: Of course, you should, that woman is too good for you. (Sighs) You're a dad, you're actually a dad now, I never thought that Evil Spawn would be able to have spawn of his own.
Alex: (Chuckles) Yeah and now my job is gonna be harder to do because I have two little ones of my own and I'm gonna be more emotionally involved.
Meredith: I get that, after I had Zola, I would freak out every time a young patient of mine would crash or spit out blood. It gets better you know, not the same but better.
Alex: Yeah well, I'm holding you to that.
Meredith: Never seen such an early case of cirrhosis before.
Alex: Alpha-1-Antitrypsin deficiency. Elisa's older sister died of the same thing. I diagnosed her from the autopsy and had Elisa tested for it.
Nurse: (Holding the phone) That was Seattle Pres. Dr. DeLuca just left with the donor organ.
Alex: On foot?
Nurse: No idea.
Meredith: (Sighs) I think I remember her. She loved comic books. You did a whole thing for her on the PEDS floor. I remember you were devastated when she died.
Alex: Not as devastated as I am now that I have a little girl halfway across the country.
Meredith: (Sympathetic) Try to focus on the surgery or talk about something else, that usually works for me.
Alex: Okay I will, why did Yang send in an Irish man personally to take my job?
Meredith: (Exhales in relief) I am so glad you came back because that is a whole other story, I am just dying to tell you.
Alex: Well spill. I am dying to know.
LATER AT TESS'S ROOM
(Jo, Webber and Amber stand by as Levi puts an IV in Tess)
Tess: You don't have to have me guarded. I'm not a lunatic.
Levi: You almost cut into a patient with zero qualifications.
Tess: I spent half my life in hospitals.
Levi: Mm, what kind of hospitals?
Webber: Schmitt, can you go check on the psych eval?
Levi: Gladly.
(Levi leaves the room)
Jo: Is there someone that we can call for you? Um, friends or family?
Tess: No one who'd come out in a blizzard.
Webber: (Sighs) Tess, what were you thinking?
Tess: I got caught, it doesn't matter.
Webber: Well, it matters to me.
Amber: And it'll matter to psych who will decide if they should admit you or not.
Tess: I have adrenocortical carcinoma.
Jo: Which is extremely treatable at your stage.
Tess: Yeah so, I've heard. First time you get sick, everyone's there for you. Kids at school who hated me came to the hospital and apologized and cried. Not so much the second time or the third. This is my fourth type of cancer in eight years. In high school, I was so inspired by the doctors, I decided to become one, to become the people who saved my life. Got diagnosed the third time in med school. Recovery took a year, drained my college fund. Now I'm a barista. And when I was getting sick, everyone else just kept living. Graduating, matching. They all got to live their dream while I just sat here. And then, one night, it snowed. It snowed so much almost no one was here. And everything looked new. And I thought, 'What if I were new? What if I got to live my dream just once? Just for a day. How would it feel? Felt great, by the way. Escaping.
Taryn: (Goes in) Dr. Webber, you paged?
Webber: Uh, yes, I need you to scrub in with me for Ms. Gutierrez's lap chole.
Taryn: Wow. Thank you. (Notices Tess in the chair) What happened?
Webber: Uh it doesn't concern you.
(Webber leaves with Taryn. Jo and Amber huddle to the side in private)
Amber: We're not gonna do the pity surgery today are we?
Jo: It doesn't seem like it, I'm sorry.
Amber: (Sighs) Don't be at least I got to get away from my problems just a little bit. Great snow day so far.
Jo: (Nods) I'll talk to Alex later and see if he can let you bunk with us.
Amber: Thanks.
(Jo squeezes Amber's arm in comfort before going to talk to Tess)
MEANWHILE IN O.R. 2
(Alex and Meredith continue talking as they work on Elisa)
Nurse: No response from Dr. DeLuca.
Meredith: He left over an hour ago.
Alex: Do you think Bailey was right? Should I not have trusted him to go?
Meredith: Suture scissors. Okay, so what's the plan here?
Alex: What?
Meredith: We have time to kill, what's your plan on how to raise kids across the country?
Alex: Uh Iz and I are still talking but she's letting the twins come here for their sixth birthday in two months. She figured that I already missed the other five so I'm owed this one. Any advice on how to throw a kid's party?
Meredith: Yes, make sure the cake is from a good bakery and not some convenience store. Tell them to make it half chocolate and half vanilla so they can switch flavors and they will switch. Make the decorations something kids like now like superheroes or Disney stuff and most importantly make sure they have a good time. You don't want them to have a lousy birthday because they will remember and whine about it for a few years.
Alex: I feel like I should write this down, my brain is still a little wonky from being a dad in two seconds.
Meredith: (Chuckles) It'll come to you, your practically trained for this stuff you just have to apply it to your kids.
Alex: No, I'm trained to treat kids, not raise them. I don't know what to do Mer and to be honest I am scared as hell. I'm scared that I won't live up to their expectations. I'm scared that I made a mistake being in their lives this late in their lives and…I'm scared that I'll disappoint them like my dad disappointed me.
Meredith: That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard from you and I've known you a long time. Eli and Alexis are five that's a good age to accept change and to accept a new parental figure in their lives. Kids are adaptive by nature so they will get used to you real soon and they will love you. I know this because you know what it's like to be disappointed by your father so your gonna make damn sure you don't repeat the pattern. I know this because you told me that when I was afraid to be a mom. You said I would be a good mom so I am here to tell you that you will be a good dad and those kids are lucky to have you in their lives at any age.
Alex: (Grins) You know maybe when they come here, we can set up a playdate. Your kids and my kids together in the same roof, it might be good for them.
Meredith: And chaotic for us, five kids under the same roof celebrating two birthdays. It's gonna be a mess.
Alex: I guess I can call that my rite of passage to fatherhood.
(Meredith chuckles and the door bursts open reveling Andrew with a ice chest and frostbite on his fingers)
Andrew: Okay, I'm back. I got it. Here, here, I got it.
Alex: (Shocked) DeLuca please tell me you wore gloves like I told you to.
Andrew: Okay I wore gloves.
Meredith: Let's page Dr. Avery right now. And let's prep for this transplant!
LATER ON THE SURGICAL FLOOR
(Jo and Amber stand outside Tess's room with Webber)
Jo: Psych says that she's not a flight risk, so I moved her surgery to tomorrow.
Webber: Thanks.
(Jo and Amber leave Webber in the hall)
Amber: God what the hell was she thinking? She could've killed someone.
Jo: Well, you heard her, she's had her dream taken away from her because of cancer. Honestly if I was her, I would probably go insane too.
(Carina approaches them)
Amber: Carina I don't have time for this.
Carina: Andrea is back.
Amber: (Confused) Back from where?
Carina: Back from walking to Seattle Pres to get a liver for a little girl, didn't he tell you?
Amber: (Chuckles darkly) He and I aren't saying much of anything to each other at the moment. Wait he walked to another hospital in this blizzard?
Carina: Yes, without gloves so Avery is treating him.
Jo: Oh god.
Amber: That's great, I'll be somewhere else if you need me.
Carina: I do I do need you. I need you to come with me so we can talk to Andrea about his reckless behavior so far.
Amber: I take it that he didn't tell you what he told me because you wouldn't want me anywhere near him while he is hurt and vulnerable.
Carina: Amber…he is sick and whatever he told you is probably because he is scared and angry. I know that you think he wants to hurt you but that is not true it's his mental illness that wants to hurt you. You can't let it because the Andrew that you know and love will be forever lost if you let your anger cloud your love towards him. I know this because I have been through this more than once and I know that he is stronger than our papa. He will beat this if we help him and get him to see that so please help me get him to see that. Please.
(Amber sighs as she thinks it through)
Jo: Amber, remember that question I asked you earlier? About what you would so if your roles were reversed? Try to think of that and then decide if you can talk to Andrew and try to get the man you love back again.
Amber: (Exhales) …Take me to him.
(Carina leads Amber to the east wing where they find Andrew on the bed with his hands red and blue from the frostbite)
Amber: (Shocked) Oh my god.
Andrew: I'm not really in the mood for visitors.
Amber: Look um I just thought you should know that Elisa is okay, she's in the PICU and she's stable…thanks to you. So, I just wanted you to know that.
Andrew: (Cold) I do know that. And I also know that if you'd had it your way, I wouldn't have gone out there, and that little girl would be dead. So, I guess you're thanking me for not talking to you first.
(Amber closes her eyes as she gets déjà vu from the night they fought)
Carina: Andrea, we were just worried about you. Okay, this is just like when Papa-
Andrew: (Yells) I'm not him, okay?! I'm not him! For the first time in my career, I'm succeeding on my own, without anybody's help. Why can't you just be happy for me and accept that? Why-Why-Why do you always got to accuse me of-of not being well?
Amber: There is a history here Andrew-
Andrew: (Spiteful) Okay, well I don't accuse you of having schizophrenia every time you talk to yourself, do I?
(Amber looks at Andrew hurt and shocked by his comment)
Andrew: You know, you can go, Amber. Please, just-just leave.
(Amber inhales and leaves slamming the door loudly behind her. She breathes heavily until she reaches an empty hallway and leans against a gurney and cries. She sobs heavily as her tears come pouring down her cheeks. Alex enters the hallway and finds her there. He goes to her due to his brotherly instincts)
Alex: (Gently) Hey, hey what's wrong?
Amber: (Sniffles) No please don't pretend to care about me, don't pretend. I don't need you lying to me not now Alex. I can't take anymore please just go away.
(Amber continues sobbing and Alex doesn't listen instead he rubs her back)
Alex: I'm not pretending, not even a little bit. I'm mad at you I am mad as hell but that's not gonna stop me from being your brother when you need one. And you clearly need one, so tell me what's wrong, can you tell me?
Amber: (Sobs and shakes her head)
Alex: Okay do you want to go somewhere else then? Somewhere private?
Amber: (Nods as she sobs)
Alex: Okay come on I'll take you to the lounge.
(Alex holds Amber and walks her to the fifth floor)
LATER AT THE ATTENDINGS LOUNGE
(Amber is on the table slightly calmer but still crying as she uses her fifth tissue while Alex comes to her with a mug from the kitchen)
Amber: (Sniffles) What is that?
Alex: It's hot chocolate with marshmallows and cinnamon. It always did the trick with you during a snowstorm back home.
Amber: (Scoffs) I'm not five Alex.
Alex: Okay I guess I'll take it then.
Amber: (Really wants it) Wait, since you went to all the trouble, I guess I can drink it.
(Alex grins and gives her the mug sitting next to her)
Amber: (Sips the drink) Oh that is so good.
Alex: I know it was pretty much the one recipe I didn't mess up growing up. Are you ready to talk to me now?
Amber: …Why are you doing this Alex? I thought you never wanted to talk to me again after what happened.
Alex: I thought I did too but…you're my sister for better or worse we're family and family helps each other. Even when they are mad at each other and want to kill each other. They still help each other when their hurting and I know that you're hurting, you're at a breaking point and I think part of that is my fault. It's my fault because I wasn't here to help you and that's on me. But I'm here now, I am here to listen and to help so let me. Tell me what's going on.
(Amber looks at Alex touched and drinks her hot chocolate for a moment before gaining the courage to tell him)
Amber: (Sniffles) Andrew has inherited his dad's mental illness, he had a mental breakdown when he worked nonstop to diagnose a sick patient. I didn't want to believe it but eventually I did and I told him that he was starting to act like his father and out of spite he said I would become like my father if he wasn't in my life.
Alex: He what?
Amber: Yeah, you heard me right and before you go to beat him up again keep in mind that he's in a bed with frostbite from walking through a blizzard without gloves. Also, I highly doubt you'll get away with assaulting the guy again.
Alex: (Groans as he realizes) That's why he volunteered to go out and get a liver through this storm. And why Bailey has been on his ass.
Amber: Yeah, he has done questionable things that are less questionable because the patients ended up being saved in the end. (Chuckles darkly) It looks like you're not the only Karev in this hospital who has a thing for broken people with broken minds.
(Amber sips her chocolate and Alex looks at her with sympathy)
Alex: (Tries to joke to make her feel better) Well I still have you beat by three crazy people I slept with so…
Amber: (Grins slightly) …I blame myself you know.
Alex: What do you mean?
Amber: I left a couple of days after Suzanne got worse. I went to Kansas while he was here getting obsessed over a patient. I should've been here when he was assigned Suzanne's case. I should've been here to help and make sure he got rest. I should've stopped this.
Alex: You couldn't have and neither could he. Amber we can only control so many things and this isn't one of them. The guy didn't choose this; he didn't choose to inherit his dads messed up genes. Just like we didn't choose to be genetically predisposition for schizophrenia and addiction. I'm sure that what he said as awful as it was, is from the disease not him. He loves you I know he does I've seen the way he is with you and I know he would do anything to make it so you guys didn't go through this.
Amber: (Sighs) I still love him, even after he is awful to me, I still love him. I don't want to; I only want to feel rage and the urge to murder him and I do but my love is bigger. God, I think this is how mom felt towards Jimmy.
Alex: …DeLuca is not Jimmy, Amber.
Amber: I know, he doesn't shoot up heroin on the side.
Alex: No, I mean you need to give him more credit than that. I knew Jimmy I grew up with Jimmy and Andrew is far from him and he's not Vincenzo DeLuca either. He is not a carbon copy of our dad or his, he is the man you love, he's Andrew.
Amber: (Voice breaking) No he's not, he's not Andrew, not anymore. He's a shell of the kind and funny man that I fell in love with. It-It's like the Andrew I knew has become possessed by the spirit of his manic and reckless father, it was horrible Alex.
Alex: (Holds her hand) I know, I know it was horrible. He needs help.
Amber: (Cries) I have tried, Carina and I have tried twice but he won't listen.
Alex: Then make him listen, make him see that he is hurting the people he loves. Make him see that he needs help, or he'll go down the same path as his father. Because if you don't keep trying Amber that's what's gonna happen, you'll lose the man you love forever to this. Take it from me I have more experience than you in this area too damn much in fact. It's not too late to get the man you love back; you just have to let him know that he is not alone in this. He needs to know that there are people waiting for him when he gets back. He needs to hear that from you and everyone else who cares about him. The man needs that and I can help you if you want, what do you say?
(Amber tears up again and takes a moment before nodding and Alex holds her hand in comfort)