Chapter 21: The Breakup
SCENE: SEATTLE SUBWAY STATION
(A depressed Amber and Link wait for the next subway train to work. Amber sees a couple making out a few feet away from them making her bitter)
Amber: Ugh look at those two, aren't they at all concerned over being stared at? It's like their exhibitionists or something.
Link: I once made out through a tornado.
Amber: Really?
Link: Went for gum later, and the 7-Eleven was gone.
Amber: (Scoffs) Oh look Link he has a guitar too, like he wanted to look more like a hippie douche.
Link: (Offended) I play guitar.
Amber: That's different you play for hobby not sport. (Still appalled as the couple continue kissing) Good god, will the two of you get a restroom stall! Don't they know that love ends in a bottomless pit of despair? (Sighs) I wonder if there are any love songs about how your boyfriend has to go to a treatment center and he breaks up with you but shows you the ring he was gonna propose with. And how you cry in his apartment that you live in so your forced to sleep on your sister's best friend's couch.
Link: Well, stay as long as you want. It's been perfect, hanging out and watching horror movies too gory for a normal person to take, trying every dinner special at Kung Pao's.
Amber: Yeah, I admit it is kind of nice to hang out with someone as miserable as me. I never would have had this with Levi or Jo, not with their happily dating or married selfish asses.
Link: (Chuckles) It's been nice to think about anything other than Amelia.
Amber: I bet. Alex told me she's back at work, by the way.
Link: Yeah, Jo told me thanks.
(Amber and Link go inside the train)
MEANWHILE AT GREY SLOAN
(Alex and Jo walk down the hall to get ready for work talking about what happened with Amber on the way)
Alex: Has she talked to you about what happened?
Jo: Um no Levi said that DeLuca broke up with her but no I haven't talked to her. I'm just waiting for her to come to me.
Alex: (Sighs) I hear that she's reaching 80 hours this week and it's not even Friday, should we be worried?
Jo: No, you know Amber, this is just how she wants to process, work nonstop and then deal with the emotions as late as she can. You practically wrote the book on that technique.
Alex: I did which is why I'm still worried about her. Is she still in the apartment?
Jo: No, she's staying with Link for a while. Apparently those two are joined at the hip and it's fused by their misery.
Alex: And I ask again, should we be worried?
Jo: No at least I don't think so. (Turns him to face her) I know your worried but you can't hover not now. She just got her heart broken by the one person she allowed herself to love. She doesn't need to be coddled right now; she needs space. I know that's gonna be hard to do but just let her breathe and then you can be her brother when she wants you to be. Do you think you can do that? At least for a little while?
Alex: (Sighs) …Okay but I'm still gonna check on her and see how she is. Am I allowed to do that?
Jo: Yeah, and I can do that too. I'll talk to her first, see how she is and report back to you.
Alex: Thanks, I love you.
Jo: I love you. (Kisses Alex) Now come on let's get ready for work.
(Alex and Jo walk the rest of the way to the lounge)
LATER AT THE PIT
(Amber is sitting at the station updating the board when Jo goes to her)
Jo: Hey, what are you doing in the pit? I thought you'd be at cardio.
Amber: Um apparently, I reached my weekly quota of hearts this week and I figured I'd put in more hours at the pit. Well, the hours I have left anyway.
Jo: Yeah, I heard you did 70 hours in the last four days that's impressive. Any plans for the weekend?
Amber: (Cold tone) Not really, I'm just getting through today and I'll let you know if I have plans.
Jo: Okay are you still taking the subway?
Amber: Yeah, my uh my car is still in the parking lot and the engine is still bust so I am supporting public transit at the moment.
Jo: Hey, if you want, I can ask Alex to take a look at the engine or whatever. I know he's not a mechanic but he knows something about cars and it'll be cheaper than calling-
Amber: (Rude) Jo I am busy with the pit today and I don't have time for chit chat. I'll keep the offer in mind so you can go now.
(Jo looks at Amber offended but Amber doesn't notice as she updates the board. Jo leaves the pit. Link runs inside and approaches Amber)
Link: Hey incoming trauma, you're with me.
Amber: (Has some eagerness) Yes God please.
(Amber and Link gown and glove up)
Link: (Sighs) I really need this man; I swear I think I am this close to going crazy worrying about Amelia or being mad at Amelia or…just being mad in general.
Amber: Still no response?
Link: Zero and she hasn't come by since she came back to work.
Amber: Why don't you text her, see if she wants to talk?
Link: About what?
(Amber and Link go out to the breezeway where an ambulance pulls up)
Link: The baby that might be Owen's or the relationship she just ended? Or the weather? I'll pass. If she wants to talk to me, she can find me. I'm done chasing her.
Amber: (Unbothered) Okay.
(The ambulance door opens)
Paramedic: Brad Spencer, 22. Found unresponsive with burns on three extremities. GCS of 6T. We got him back after multiple rounds of CPR. He jumped onto a train track and got electrocuted.
Paula: He didn't jump. He fell. We were kissing. We were saying goodbye, and we thought that the train was still behind us. Then he turned around too fast, and he just fell.
Amber: (Eyes widen as she recognizes the couple) Oh, my God! Link! It's the exhibitionists from this morning!
Link: All right, okay, we got to go!
Amber: Get Trauma one ready!
Link: Go, go, go!
(They wheel Brad inside)
CUT TO BLACK
SCENE: TRAUMA 1
(Amber and Link work on Brad with Simms assisting)
Link: Third-degree burns on this arm.
(Amelia enters the room)
Amelia: Head trauma?
Link: (Unhappy with Amelia there) I paged Koracick.
Amelia: And he's busy. What happened?
Link: Brad fell on his guitar, which fell on the train tracks. He was making out with his girlfriend. I don't have a pulse in either wrist, and this arm is cold and tight.
Blake: This one, too.
Amber: Right leg's okay, but I'm not getting anything in the left foot.
Link and Amber: Compartment syndrome.
Link: Okay. Scalpels and sterile gloves! Simms, She-Karev you guys ever done a fasciotomy?
Amber: A few times with cardio.
Blake: Does a cadaver count?
Link: You and Amber take the arms. I'll take the leg.
Amelia: Pupils are equal and reactive, but I can't rule out a head injury. He needs a CT ASAP.
Link: After we save his limbs. Okay, fasciotomies on my count. One, two-
Amelia: (Sees Paula outside the room) Wait, wait! Is that her? She should not see this.
(They close the blinds)
Link: All right, one, two, three.
(The three of them perform the fasciotomies)
MEANWHILE AT THE PEDS FLOOR
(Jo goes to Alex to update him on Amber)
Jo: Hey.
Alex: Hey how did it go?
Jo: As well as can be expected. She's in pain and she's just trying to work through it.
Alex: No, she is working over it, she's been in the hospital for the last four days. Is she snapping at people like I would at this stage of my life taking a crap dive?
Jo: Um well she basically told me to screw off in polite words so…
Alex: (Sad for Amber) I…I'm worried about her Jo. I mean she is going through this thinking that she is alone but I want her to know that even with DeLuca gone she's not alone. I just want her to know that I want her to know that she has support and love before she…
Jo: (Understands) You've seen this behavior before…with me.
Alex: …I know you went through a lot before you got depressed and I'm worried that this is happening to my baby sister now. Is it?
Jo: (Thinks carefully) I think that Amber has gone through a lot these past few weeks and she has a reason to be angry. She has a reason to be sad and maybe even a little bit depressed. But that doesn't mean your gonna lose her. Just let her know that she isn't alone, that she has people in her life who love her and want her to be okay. I know that helped me keep a little bit of my sanity during my episode. You helped give me strength so do the same for Amber, okay?
(Alex nods and Jo kisses his cheek before heading to the pit)
LATER IN TRAUMA 1
(Amber, Link and Amelia lead Paula outside to update her on Brad)
Link: Brad's electrocution injury affected the tissue in his limbs. We had to cut through both of his arms and his leg to preserve the circulation. Still, the damage was extensive.
Amelia: His head CT shows a small epidural bleed in his brain, which I'll evacuate in the O.R. It could have been a lot worse. We think that the neck of his guitar took most of the impact. It probably saved his life.
Paula: Wow. One second, he was there, and then he just disappeared like he fell through a trapdoor.
Amber: (Bitter) You didn't hear the train leaving?
Paula: We…We just graduated from U-Dub, and Brad got this internship at a music studio here. But I won a Rhodes Scholarship, and he's been so sweet, singing me these corny love songs. But it's been torture just knowing that we were gonna be apart.
(Amber and Link look at each other in shared distaste over the love story)
Paula: And I was on my way to the airport today, and he just got this look on his face and-and he said, 'Screw it. Let's go to England together.' And then he kissed me, and it was like…everything was solved.
Amber: (Bitter) Not even the "ding-ding" of the doors closing? That didn't tip you guys off?
Link: (Bitter) The annoying loudspeaker?
Amelia: (Trying to save Paula from the bitter duo) Okay, uh, we are gonna take Brad to the Amber and then move him to the ICU. We will let you know if we have any updates.
(Paula is led to the waiting room. Link and Amber go out to book an O.R.)
Amber: Everything was solved? I mean really. Does she actually think him giving up his dream job was just gonna make everything magically better? If anything, it was gonna make the relationship end faster.
Link: Yep, no arguments here. I mean she shouldn't have to expect him to drop everything for her at her beck and call. That's just a road to heartbreak and misery and cold bed sheets.
Amber: Ha, that's usually how it ends when you decide to fall in love.
(Jo follows the two of them)
Jo: Hey guys I'm doing a liver transplant and a lap appy, you?
Amber: We did fasciotomies on a 22-year-old so we need to dress them in the O.R. while Shepherd fixes a bleed with us.
Jo: (Feels bad for Link) Oh damn, are you okay, Link?
Link: (Bitter) Why wouldn't I be? Just because I have to work closely with the woman I loved or still love who refuses to speak to me or see my side of this argument. I mean that's nothing it's just physical and emotional pain that is somehow mixed together.
Amber: Welcome to the club, we serve donuts and coffee. I hope you like it bitter like our souls.
Link: I do actually.
Jo: Oh my god you two are more depressing than the entire oncology floor. Link I expect this kind of talk from my sister but from you-
Amber: How else is he supposed to react after being left by the person he loved because the universe decided to rip out his heart and stomp on it and light it on fire?
(Jo groans and stands in front of the duo stopping them)
Jo: Okay I have tried being nice to the both of you because you really need it but this has got to stop.
Amber: What has to stop?
Link: Yeah, we're not doing anything.
Jo: (Scoffs) You guys the lights in this hospital are dimming because of all the energy you're sucking out of the air. I know that you two have had your hearts broken but at least you two knew firsthand what love was really like. Most people don't get to experience that even once. I mean haven't you ever heard the saying 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'?
Amber: (Groans in disgust) That line is such a crock of shit. It's something single people tell themselves when their sad and desperate for intimacy. Or happily married people who never experienced the kind of ass kicking that we have recently discovered. We don't want any input on our attitudes especially from your happily married ass.
Link: She has a point, Jo. Now if you will excuse us, we have a surgery to do with the woman who stomped on my heart and took a piss on it.
(Amber and Link walk around Jo who sighs in despair as their bitterness is rubbing off on her)
LATER IN THE SCRUB ROOM
(Amber enters the room to scrub when Bailey walks in)
Bailey: (Groans) I swear to you, the men today are deciding to make things worse than they ought to be. I tried to help Webber by setting up his office but instead he yelled at me and is now tearing the room apart. Ugh and don't even get me started on Koracick, I tell you-
Amber: (Rude) What do you want?
Bailey: (Taken back but continues) You know I was your brother's supervisor for years so I knew to recognize signs that he was getting angry at the world and taking it out on those who were only trying to help him. Just because you have blonde hair, blue eyes and something else in between your legs doesn't mean your any different from him.
Amber: (Inhales) I'm fine. I'm here, aren't I?
Bailey: Yes, you are and so are Alex and Jo and everybody else who can help you if you just talk to them. And what you're going through I know it must be-
Amber: (Cold) No, you don't know. You just don't.
Bailey: …That may be true but that doesn't mean I can't listen. Talking about it might help you a little and-
Amber: (Agitated) Skip the concerned chief act. I am not gonna have another panic attack in your ER and embarrass you even more.
Bailey: Okay Karev that's not-
Amber: (Angry) I told you that I am fine, so you and Alex and Jo can all cross me off your to do lists and leave me the fuck alone.
(Amber turns to scrub and Bailey looks at her hurt but leaves the room. Link enters)
Link: What was that about?
Amber: Nothing let's just get this surgery over with.
Link: (Sighs) I am right behind you.
LATER IN THE O.R.
(Amber and Link dress the wounds while Amelia fixes the hematoma)
Link: We'll need to page Avery post-op to take a look at these wounds for closure later.
Amelia: Hematoma drained. He's lucky that guitar didn't jam straight into his brain.
Link: It was a cheap guitar.
Amber: It's for the best, love songs are dumb and a dime a dozen now.
Amelia: What is wrong with making out in public and singing to each other un-ironically, saying, 'Screw it, let's go have an adventure'? Isn't that what being 22 and in love is for?
Amber: (Bitter) Yeah, until the part where you get cooked on a train track because you were busy eating your girlfriend's face.
Link: Word.
Amelia: Hmm. I'm done here. Do you two need help dressing those wounds?
Amber: No, I think we got it from here.
Link: (Wants her to go) Yeah, and we're good to update the girlfriend if you have somewhere you need to be.
(Amelia gets the message and leaves)
Amber: (Appalled by his grammar) You did hear yourself saying 'word' right?
Link: I just did and I regret it.
Amber: You should.
(Link and Amber continue to work)
AN HOUR LATER AT THE LOUNGE
(Alex walks in and finds Amber on the table charting)
Alex: I heard about your fasciotomy this morning, nice work.
Amber: Thanks.
Alex: How's Brad?
Amber: (Still charting) He is in the ICU right now and recovering.
Alex: Okay that's good…so I've been talking to Izzie and uh I'm trying to convince her to let you back into the twins lives and to hang out with them when they come and visit. I was thinking we could go bowling and teach them how to do a 7-10 split, or you could since you're the master of it.
Amber: (Still charting) I'll think about it. Is that all?
Alex: …Amber…there are no words to describe how awful and unfair this is to you. And I know you want space I know you need it but-
Amber: Did you know?
Alex: Know what?
Amber: That Andrew was gonna propose to me, did you know?
Alex: (Eyes widen) You know about that?
Amber: (Nods) He told me he was gonna propose the night he broke up with me and…I thought about how strange it was when you asked me why I wasn't wearing something back in Kansas. But now I know you expected a ring on my finger, didn't you? Which means you knew all along.
Alex: (Sighs) It was after the trial; he took me to a different bar and asked for my blessing. I never gave an answer back because Izzie called and he was pissed off thinking I blew him off. After that-
Amber: (Cold) You went to Kansas to visit your new family while the one you had back home were worried about you. And then I came to Kansas and left my boyfriend to have a mental breakdown.
Alex: Amber, you cannot blame yourself for this, okay? Don't go down that road not again. I-I-I know that things are bleak now but you're not alone, okay?
Amber: The empty side of my bed disagrees with you.
Alex: (Sighs) Okay when Izzie left, I felt the same way you did. I was angry, I was pissed off, I bit off everyone's heads and I was actually alone. I was alone to deal with my betrayal and my wife abandoning me. I didn't have a sister or a brother to help me through it but you do, you have that here Amber. I want you in my life again, I want you in Eli and Alexis's lives I…I want you to know that even though you feel like you're alone you're not. Not by a long shot.
(Amber looks at Alex with a hint of gratitude before turning to chart more)
Alex: Okay when you are ready, I will be at the loft and…we can throw crap at a wall.
(Alex leaves Amber to her charting)
LATER IN THE ICU
(Link and Amber update Paula outside Brad's room)
Link: We believe he's out of immediate danger, but there's no question he's gonna have a long recovery. Does he have family nearby?
Paula: Yeah, um, I called. They're on the way.
Link: He'll also need additional surgeries to treat the burns and close the wounds on his arms and leg.
Paula: Right. So…England…
Amber: Paula, whoever takes care of Brad needs to be prepared to spend a lot of time in hospitals for a while.
Paula: I can't-I can't do that. I can't stay.
Amber: This is a lot; you don't have to make that decision right now.
Paula: No, but I already decided. And-And he decided to come with me, but I was always gonna go, with or without him…What does it mean if he would leave his dream for me, but I…I won't stay for him?
(Paula goes to Brad's room. Amber and Link walk to the hallway deflated from the day)
Link: (Sighs) Wow. That went from forever to over in less than a day. You called it, Amber. All love ends in a bottomless pit of despair.
Amber: (Tired of being cynical) …No. It doesn't.
(Link looks at Amber confused)
Amber: I've spent all week trying to forget Andrew, trying not to feel and nothing works. Do you know why I've been taking the subway?
Link: Your car is broken down.
Amber: No, my car is just fine nothing can break her…but I'm afraid she'll break me. I'm afraid of looking at my glove compartment and feeling heartbreak every time, I see it. When Andrew and I were together he… (Grins) He got me tickets to Camp Anarchy. It was rock and roll paradise for me and I wanted to go but the show was sold out until Andrew got them for me. He called up an old friend of his and got the tickets and put them in the compartment to surprise me one morning. (Chuckles) I was so happy when I saw them, I actually squealed and told him I loved him. I felt…so loved in that moment, more than I thought I could feel loved in my life. (Tears up) He was the first person who ever made me feel like that, not even my own parents loved me like he did or…cracked me open and made me feel love for someone. No matter how mad I got at him or what kind of awful things his mania said to me…I am always going to be grateful for having him in my life. I wouldn't trade the pain that came from losing him if it meant losing the love that came with it because it is so worth it. I am grateful that he is the reason I know how to love and how it feels to be loved. And I know that he is the reason I will get through this because his love gave me more strength than I thought it would. He may have left me but that is something I will forever keep.
(Link looks at Amber in awe and rubs her arm in comfort. Amber sniffles and turns to him)
Amber: Get you head out of your ass and go fix what you broke with Amelia before it's too late.
Link: I didn't do anything. She pushed me away. She ended it.
Amber: She didn't push you away. She gave you a choice and you choose to love some genetic test more than her. I didn't have a choice in being with Andrew because of something that couldn't be controlled. But you can control this, so once again get your head out of your ass and go claim the woman that you love before the universe takes your chance away.
(Amber leaves Link to think her words through)
THAT NIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT
(Amber stands in front of her car scared of going in despite the rain that is getting her wet. She waits a few moments before grabbing the door handle. She slowly opens the door and takes a deep breathe. She goes inside the driver side and closes the door. Amber looks around the dust filled interior before setting her eyes on the glove compartment. Her heart cracks as her mind flashes to the day Andrew got her the tickets. She sniffles and opens the compartment to find it empty. She looks at the windshield and listens to the pitter patter of raindrops before her eyes begin to fill with tears and she leans her head forward against the steering wheel beginning to sob. The passenger door opens and Amber sees Alex coming in wet as well)
Alex: Well don't stop on my account. I know you don't want to feel this but you have to and I promise not to tell anyone what happens here as long as something happens. Do it, do what you need to do.
Amber: (Sniffles and sobs again) It hurts, it hurts so much.
Alex: (Rubs her back) I know, I know it does but I got you, I got you, okay? And I am not going anywhere so cry, scream if you have to, I will not judge you.
(Amber sobs heavily for a few moments before screaming in pain. Alex continues rubbing her back not leaving her side as she breaks down)