Set 5th Year After the Eye of the Snake Dream

Harry lay quietly in his bed. His heart was still pounding. And though he had returned from Dumbledore's office nearly 2 hours ago he was still damp with sweat and was shivering as a draft from a cracked window blew over him. His scar ached, as he reached up to rub it with his cold fingertips he accidentally knocked off his glasses. As he sat up to retrieve them he saw Neville, Dean, and Seamus were quietly packing. Neville glanced at him and looked for a moment he wanted to say something, then changed his mind and continued folding socks.

Ron and his brothers and Ginny were still in Dumbledore's office. McGonagall had escorted Harry back to the dormitory a couple hours earlier. She hadn't said a word, only squeezed his shoulder before ushering him inside. Harry expected Hermione was still sleeping soundly before waking to pack and head onto her ski trip.

Harry sighed then yanked his hangings closed and laid down with his glasses on his chest and his fingertips pushing into his eyes. Had he attacked Mr. Weasley? It certainly felt like he had. Harry felt nauseous, then anxious as he wondered what Ron was thinking. Would Ron ever speak to him again? He took a huge breath and exhaled slowly. He didn't know what to do. He both wanted to move and also just lay there. A few moments later he heard his roommates murmuring as they dragged their trunks out the door, he heard Neville say feebly "Have a good holiday, Harry..." before shutting the door. Only seconds later the door opened and shut again, and he heard Ron's voice.

"Harry?"

Harry shot up and put his glasses on then opened his hangings. Ron looked pale, but relieved.

"Ron...your dad...?"

"Dad's fine." Ron smiled slightly, then added, "Thanks to you. Mum says he'll be okay. He's at St. Mungo's. Um...are you...?" His smile faltered, and he averted his gaze.

Harry stood up. Ron took such a slight backwards step it was hardly noticeable, but Harry had caught it.

He's scared of me.

Harry slipped on his shoes and grabbed a cloak, then stormed out the door before Ron could say another word.

Hours passed. Harry walked along the lake until his shoes were soaked through, then his socks. He walked on. His feet and face were numb. He kept walking. It grew dark. He was so cold he couldn't think. He passed by Hagrid's. The fire inside looked cozy. Harry considered knocking. But he talked himself out if it. He didn't deserve comfort. He had nearly lost his best friend his father. A man he was close to as well. Would Mrs. Weasley still consider him a son after all this? Would Ron fear him from now on?

With no where else to go, Harry finally headed inside. The castle was nearly empty. His damp footsteps echoed as he climbed the stairs. As he grew closer to the Gryffindor tower the anxiety in his stomach grew larger. He awoke the Fat Lady and murmured the password, and entered a nearly empty common room. The Twins and Ginny were sitting near the fire in their bedclothes chatting quietly. Ginny immediately got to her feet and crossed the room, engulfing Harry in a tight embrace and kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank you, Harry," she said, letting go, "McGonagall just told us she got an owl from Mum. Dad will be just fine. Dumbledore figured out an excuse for why Dad was - well - where he was. Everything will be okay."

The twins also got to their feet. Fred cuffed him lightly on the shoulder.

"Thanks, mate."

George nodded, and added, "Dumbledore wants us to stay here for now." He pulled a disgusted face, "Umbridge, you know. He's going to let us know when we can visit. Bill is with Mum. Charlie will be on his way."

"Where's Ron?" Harry needed to know. Maybe Ron had said something to his siblings.

"Upstairs." Ginny frowned. "He...he's not happy. I mean about Dad he's happy but..." she trailed off.

"He blames me." Harry stated flatly.

"He's a prat." George punctuated his blunt statement with a shrug.

Harry sighed and trudged towards the stairs. By the time he had opened the door to the dorm he still hadn't figured out what to say. But Rob was standing there in the middle of getting into his pajamas, his shirt halfway over his head. Harry noticed a large bruise on his back where a bludger had hit him during last quidditch practice.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ron demanded, tossing his shirt onto his bed.

"Walking." Harry made his way to his bed and slipped out of his wet shoes and cloak. "Why?"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not," Harry lied, "I just needed to walk."

Ron sighed through his nose and took a step towards Harry. "I should have thanked you. I'm sorry. But thank you. For...you know...Dad. Thank you for going to Dumbledore."

Harry ripped off his shirt and fumbled with his belt. Then closed his eyes, opened them, and turned around.

"I don't know what happened to me, alright? I don't know if it was me who attacked him or-or-"

"It wasn't." Ron sounded so firm Harry felt some of his anxiety leave his core. "You were in your bed. I was awake. I saw you." He looked Harry dead in the eye, an almost pleading expression on his face. "It. Wasn't. You."

"Okay..." Harry said slowly. "Why were you scared of me then?"

Ron looked genuinely confused, then he ran a shaking hand through his hair and said carefully,

"I'm not, Harry. I promise I'm not. I'm just confused. Worried. Worried for you. I guess I don't know how to handle it." He smiled slightly. "Emotional range of a teaspoon, y'know."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "And how the bloody hell do you think I feel?!" He bellowed. "You can't deal with it?!" He stepped forward. This time Ron did not move. He looked slightly startled bit stood ground. "I feel like I attacked your dad! I feel like I can't be trusted! What if it had...what if I had...you don't know! You bloody idiot!" He stopped, panting slightly.

Ron scoffed, then raised his hands and dropped them. "Go on then," he said, "Keep going. Keep yelling at the one person who's trying to understand." His voice raised slightly near the end of his sentence. Then gained confidence and kept going. "I waited for you. I stayed here all day!" He gestured to the room. "Waiting for you to come back! I was here! I wanted to talk to you about it!" He stopped then shook his head slightly. "You know what, Harry? Piss off." He turned away and paused, then just continued to undress.

Harry felt his anger rise. Like when he was the serpent. Black spots formed in front of his eyes and before he knew what he was doing he stepped forward and pushed Ron as hard as he could. Ron staggered and turned to face Harry, still gathering his footing he fell back into a bed post and winced as it hit his bruise. He glared at Harry.

"You're really taking it there?" He snapped. "Go ahead, mate. Get it out. Take it out on me!" He looked at Harry, daring him.

Without thinking Harry reached to his pocket where his wand would be. Then realized it was in his cloak. Ron grabbed his arm before he could move again and instinctively Harry struck out with his other hand, getting Ron right in his eye. His fist exploded in pain and he cried out angrily and swore. Ron grabbed his other arm and said simply,

"Are you done?"

Harry looked at him, and was surprised to see that Ron did not look angry anymore. He looked sad, and just done. There was a small cut near the corner of his eye where Harry had punched him.

"Sorry." He muttered. But he still felt angry. "But you don't know how I feel. You don't know what it was like. You have no idea. You don't get to be worried, or-or confused, or-" his anger rose again and he tried to rip his arms from Ron's grip but it was surprisingly strong, "LET. GO!" he bellowed. The second he felt Ron's grip loosen he tore his hands away and shoved him hard in the chest. Ron fell back into the bed post again and swore quietly. "You don't know." Harry repeated, his voice shaking.

"It was my dad, Harry," Ron said, not looking at him, "I get to be worried."

"But what if..." Harry started then stopped. He knew what he wanted to say but it almost didn't make sense. "What if it had been me...who attacked him...and what if...it had been...you."

Once he said it he felt something unclench.

Ron shrugged slightly, and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Then it would have been me," he said simply, quietly, "I'd have been okay. I mean, I'm at Hogwarts. Safest place to be attacked, really."

"Ron..." Harry trailed off, breathing heavily, "It's not funny." His face felt hot.

A silence fell. Ron cocked his head at Harry and smiled slightly. "I'd forgive you," he said with a soft chuckle, "if I can forgive you for punching me I could forgive you for turning into a snake and at-"

Harry snapped. He shoved Ron into the bed post again by his upper arms.

"It's. Not. Funny." He growled. He couldn't look Ron in the eye as he spoke thus time. "I wouldn't forgive myself, okay?" He felt his fingers digging into Ron's skin. "Not if it was you. And if I couldn't forgive myself..."

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. The silence surrounding them was tense. Harry felt Ron's shoulders moving up and down as he breathed. An owl hooted outside. Occasionally they heard stray laughter from Fed, George, or Ginny. But it felt like they were in another world entirely. Harry didn't want to move, and it seemed, neither did Ron. Then something shifted, the tension turned to something else. Ron raised his hands and placed them over Harry's. Harry suddenly seemed to stop breathing, but his hands relaxed. Ron exhaled slowly through his nose.

Harry quickly removed his hands. His face was burning again, but not with anger. He couldn't quite place what it was. Ron stared at him, nearly expressionless despite a slight twitch on his mouth, like he wasn't sure whether to smile or frown.

"Er…" Harry trailed off. "Tired."

"Right." Ron turned away and quickly changed into his pajamas. He climbed into bed, watching Harry carefully. Harry finished changing then climbed into bed as well. He set his glasses on his nightstand then laid down. His head no longer ached and he was no longer filled with guilt. But he was still confused.

What the hell just happened.