Chapter 16 (thanks for the reviews! Please, keep sending!)
Darry calls after me, but there's no way I'm going back. It's awful cold outside, though, and I'm wishing I had more than this little jacket to keep me warm.
I can't decide where to go. Even Two-bit would eventually make me go home. Besides, he was at our house right now.
I just keep walking in one general direction. I don't realize until I get to the door that I ended up at Kayla's. It was just instinct to come here.
She opens the door and looks at me hard for a long time. Then she just says, "Yeah?"
I'm not sure what to say. Had I even knocked? "Uh, Kayla, well," Her eyes lock on mine. I decide just to tell her everything. Maybe we can work out some things I'm not really sure I understand right now. "I got in a lot of trouble with the drugs and so Darry made me talk to the school counselor, but I than I had a relapse so Darry scheduled a meeting with me and the counselor and Two-bit and Steve, but than the counselor decided to call the Norman Child Adoption Agency and they came over about four or five hours later but the man had already decided before than that I was going to have to go to the Adoption place and he gave us an hour to get prepared, but than I decided to leave because I didn't want to go to their damn agency, and than somehow I got here." I say all that in one breathe than look at her exhaustedly.
She gets a sympathetic look on her face, and I realize that all the pain and frustration of the past few months must be shining through my eyes.
"My parents are out for a while; you wanna come in for a minute?"
I nod and walk inside. Her house is always so clean because if she doesn't keep it that way, her dad will go crazy.
"Ponyboy, I'm real sorry about that guy you saw me with. I'm sorry I got you into this whole drug thing and I'm sorry about the adoption agency. I feel like it's all my fault. Is it?"
I shrug. Yes, it is some her fault, but not all. Mostly, it was my fault.
I can't think of anything to say to her. Just being in the same room with her is overwhelming. For days I've just wanted to be with her, but now I just want her and her drugs to disappear.
"Kayla, why were all those guys mugging you all the time? Not even the greasiest greaser gets mugged that much, and you said that it was just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but damn, Kayla. Soc boys hardly ever mug the girls. Only the real bad ones do that, and it's not for things like a cheap gold watch. I want to know the truth, Kayla. And I think I deserve to."
Kayla breaths in deep before saying, "Pony, honey, the truth is me and you are in a whole lot of trouble."
Wait, what? WE were in trouble?
"The guys that I said were muggin' me were actually just getting what I owed them. Drugs aren't and never were cheap, and I can't always afford to pay for them. But than I found a group that would give me the Marijuana on a credit, if you will. So I jumped on the opportunity. Next problem was that when I reached the $500.00 max, I was only given one week to come up with the money. I didn't have it, so they said I had to give them things that they could pawn off. But now, they've only got $95.00 back and they think they're going to get ripped off."
I nod. "Ok, so YOU'RE in a whole lot of trouble. How'd that become a WE? Nope, that's definitely a YOU."
"I got scared, Pony. Five big guys showed up at my door demanding money or they were going to beat the crap out of me, and I told them that YOU had the money and that you were supposed to give it to them. They said they hadn't gotten it, so I told them YOU must've spent it on something else, and to come to YOU to get the money. Now do you understand where the YOU in the WE comes in?"
Could anything else possibly go wrong? I feel like crawling into a corner, shriveling up and dieing, right there. I miss Johnny and Dally and Darry and Sodapop and Twobit and even Steve. And now there are some guys out to get me, and what can I do about it?
"Did they say when they are going to come find me?" I ask. I figure maybe I can make it to some place else before they find me. Maybe I can avoid this whole thing. "Tonight, Ponyboy. They're coming to your house tonight to, as they put it, "take care of you" and they're planning on "taking care" of Soda and Darry, too. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this to you. You didn't deserve it."
At this point, I just have to get out of here. Go home, make sure that Darry and Soda are ok. I'll go to the adoption center, if that's where I end up, but at least I'll have time to warn them about the drug-dealers.
"I have to go, Kayla."
She tries to get me to stay by saying things like, "Ponyboy, now, Ponyboy, come on. If you leave now they'll be able to hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt. Just stay here."
Yeah, sure. She didn't want me to be hurt. "Well maybe you could've thought of that before you sent out a whole gang to get me, huh?" Her eyes get watery, but I ignore it. I have to ignore it. Otherwise, there's no way I'll be able to leave. I love her to much to leave her here, alone, crying like this. "I'll come back tonight, if I don't get taken to that damn Adoption home. But I have to get home. I have to make sure Soda and Darry are ok. I'll see you later, sweetheart."
Kayla's sobs become louder, but I don't look back at her. I can't. It just hurts too damn much.
Darry calls after me, but there's no way I'm going back. It's awful cold outside, though, and I'm wishing I had more than this little jacket to keep me warm.
I can't decide where to go. Even Two-bit would eventually make me go home. Besides, he was at our house right now.
I just keep walking in one general direction. I don't realize until I get to the door that I ended up at Kayla's. It was just instinct to come here.
She opens the door and looks at me hard for a long time. Then she just says, "Yeah?"
I'm not sure what to say. Had I even knocked? "Uh, Kayla, well," Her eyes lock on mine. I decide just to tell her everything. Maybe we can work out some things I'm not really sure I understand right now. "I got in a lot of trouble with the drugs and so Darry made me talk to the school counselor, but I than I had a relapse so Darry scheduled a meeting with me and the counselor and Two-bit and Steve, but than the counselor decided to call the Norman Child Adoption Agency and they came over about four or five hours later but the man had already decided before than that I was going to have to go to the Adoption place and he gave us an hour to get prepared, but than I decided to leave because I didn't want to go to their damn agency, and than somehow I got here." I say all that in one breathe than look at her exhaustedly.
She gets a sympathetic look on her face, and I realize that all the pain and frustration of the past few months must be shining through my eyes.
"My parents are out for a while; you wanna come in for a minute?"
I nod and walk inside. Her house is always so clean because if she doesn't keep it that way, her dad will go crazy.
"Ponyboy, I'm real sorry about that guy you saw me with. I'm sorry I got you into this whole drug thing and I'm sorry about the adoption agency. I feel like it's all my fault. Is it?"
I shrug. Yes, it is some her fault, but not all. Mostly, it was my fault.
I can't think of anything to say to her. Just being in the same room with her is overwhelming. For days I've just wanted to be with her, but now I just want her and her drugs to disappear.
"Kayla, why were all those guys mugging you all the time? Not even the greasiest greaser gets mugged that much, and you said that it was just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but damn, Kayla. Soc boys hardly ever mug the girls. Only the real bad ones do that, and it's not for things like a cheap gold watch. I want to know the truth, Kayla. And I think I deserve to."
Kayla breaths in deep before saying, "Pony, honey, the truth is me and you are in a whole lot of trouble."
Wait, what? WE were in trouble?
"The guys that I said were muggin' me were actually just getting what I owed them. Drugs aren't and never were cheap, and I can't always afford to pay for them. But than I found a group that would give me the Marijuana on a credit, if you will. So I jumped on the opportunity. Next problem was that when I reached the $500.00 max, I was only given one week to come up with the money. I didn't have it, so they said I had to give them things that they could pawn off. But now, they've only got $95.00 back and they think they're going to get ripped off."
I nod. "Ok, so YOU'RE in a whole lot of trouble. How'd that become a WE? Nope, that's definitely a YOU."
"I got scared, Pony. Five big guys showed up at my door demanding money or they were going to beat the crap out of me, and I told them that YOU had the money and that you were supposed to give it to them. They said they hadn't gotten it, so I told them YOU must've spent it on something else, and to come to YOU to get the money. Now do you understand where the YOU in the WE comes in?"
Could anything else possibly go wrong? I feel like crawling into a corner, shriveling up and dieing, right there. I miss Johnny and Dally and Darry and Sodapop and Twobit and even Steve. And now there are some guys out to get me, and what can I do about it?
"Did they say when they are going to come find me?" I ask. I figure maybe I can make it to some place else before they find me. Maybe I can avoid this whole thing. "Tonight, Ponyboy. They're coming to your house tonight to, as they put it, "take care of you" and they're planning on "taking care" of Soda and Darry, too. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done this to you. You didn't deserve it."
At this point, I just have to get out of here. Go home, make sure that Darry and Soda are ok. I'll go to the adoption center, if that's where I end up, but at least I'll have time to warn them about the drug-dealers.
"I have to go, Kayla."
She tries to get me to stay by saying things like, "Ponyboy, now, Ponyboy, come on. If you leave now they'll be able to hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt. Just stay here."
Yeah, sure. She didn't want me to be hurt. "Well maybe you could've thought of that before you sent out a whole gang to get me, huh?" Her eyes get watery, but I ignore it. I have to ignore it. Otherwise, there's no way I'll be able to leave. I love her to much to leave her here, alone, crying like this. "I'll come back tonight, if I don't get taken to that damn Adoption home. But I have to get home. I have to make sure Soda and Darry are ok. I'll see you later, sweetheart."
Kayla's sobs become louder, but I don't look back at her. I can't. It just hurts too damn much.