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2 Days Later…

Hope rolled over and stretched. Frank smiled softly as he watched her waking up. Even as intimate as they had become with one another in the last two months, they still had yet to make love. It wasn't for lack of desire or urge… it just… he never could put his finger on it. He felt shy around her, hesitant. He didn't want to hurt her in anyway. Maybe he was just a little scared too.

"What are you staring at?" she said quietly.

Frank startled in his chair and came back to reality. He hated that he kept drifting off into daydreams about Hope. He spun around in his chair and looked at the door. He'd locked it a little while ago after the rest of the team went out for lunch. Turning back around to the window, Frank closed his eyes against the sun coming in and returned back to his daydream.

"What do you mean?"

Hope smiled softly and curled up against the pillow. She slept in the nude, obviously quite comfortable with Frank's presence overnight. If it bothered her that they hadn't been physically intimate, she'd never told him. "I mean, why are you looking at me like that."

"Oh. I like watching you sleep." He slid off of the chair and knelt beside the bed, crossing his arms in front of him as he leaned forward. "You're so adorable."

"Adorable, huh?" She rolled over onto her back and sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. "How on earth can I be adorable when I have no make up on and my hair is in tangles?"

"I don't know, you just are." Frank moved and sat next to her on her bed, his hands lightly massaging her neck and shoulders. "I like the way you look when you wake up." He whispered in her ear.

Hope shivered under his hands, her head leaning back to come to a rest on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her.

"You're kidding?!"

"No Mellody. I'm not kidding."

"In two months you two never… ya know.."

"Nope. I wish I knew why. It's not like there wasn't attraction or the urge. But each time I made a move on him, he just sort of fended me off. We slept in the same bed from time to time, but we were never intimate that way."

"No wonder you left his ass!"

Hope shot Mellody a sharp glare. "Don't ever speak like that again!! It wasn't lack of sex that caused me to leave!" When Mellody blinked and dropped her jaw, Hope sighed. "I'm sorry Mell. Talking about Frank kind of puts me on edge."

"What happened girl?"

"I never knew if he loved me."

"Frank."

"Yes Hope?"

She watched him as he turned around. He'd been dressing and in the middle of buckling the belt around his waist. "Where is this going between us?"

She could see her question caught him off guard. He stood there, a blank look on his face as he looked at her. "Um, between us?"

"Yes Frank." She slid up to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his hands come to rest on her hips as she leaned against him. She still had yet to put one stitch of clothing on. "Will this relationship go any further?"

He made some small noise and she felt his hands rubbing the small of her back tenderly. "Hope…"

"Frank, you know that I love you… right?"

"Yes, you've told me." He sighed and stepped back. "It's not that I don't care for you, I do and you know it. I just don't want to be responsible for you getting hurt."

"How can I get hurt? I'm only asking you if you love me too."

Frank sighed and pulled his hands back to her waist, then lifted one hand to cup her cheek tenderly. How could he put into words what he felt each time he looked at her? She was an innocent in the game of life. He loved her, he knew he did. So why couldn't he tell her that? Why did she have to ask him that? "Hope.. it's complicated. There's a lot you don't understand. Look, I have to go out of town for a few days. I'll be in Washington D.C. and you can reach me on my cell phone."

"Oh bloody hell why didn't I just answer the damned question." Frank groaned as he opened his eyes. "It wouldn't have been as horrible as I'd imagined."

"She asked you if you loved her, didn't she?"

Frank spun around in his chair to see Alex sitting there in front of his desk. He didn't even hear the lock open or her walking in.

"It's OK Frank. I can pick locks. Plus, we have a spare key and I've got light feet. You didn't answer my question. Hope asked you if you loved her, didn't she?"

"Yes. But that's not all of it. Alex, I never told her."

"Told her what? That you loved her? Cared for her?"

"That I worked for the Justice Department. I told her that I worked for the government and that was it. She never pressed me for anything else, said that when it was time to be honest, she'd listen."

"Oh Jesus Frank!!"

"I know, I know… Alex, I just didn't want to risk exposing her to the dangerous side of our work."

"That's not your choice to make Frank. It's hers."

Frank answered his cell phone and excused himself from the meeting he was in. "Donovan."

"Hi Frank!"

"Hope. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Look, I wanted to pick your brain a moment."

"Can it wait?"

"Give me five minutes, please?"

"OK - shoot." He leaned up against the wall and listened.

"You know I work for the Tribune, right?"

"Yes."

"OK - we got this anonymous tip a while back about some drug busts going down. Now, I know you work for the government and I wanted to run this story by you, just so I can get some details right."

"Story?"

Hope sighed and shifted her position in her chair. "Yes, story. I'm writing an article on these drug busts. A lot of the locals have been arrested and the local police are being completely closed mouthed about it all. Frank, I think there's something else going on."

"And what does this have to do with me?"

She could hear the tension in his voice. She'd hit some kind of nerve. "Nothing I suppose. I just wanted to get some titles and details correct. Look, I stumbled on some information while digging up the details of the busts. There's been one consistent person in all of this, but he's either a twin or he's an undercover."

"Hope. Stop, right now. If he's an undercover police officer, then the department is tight lipped for a reason."

"Frank, I'm not stupid! I had no plans of releasing his name or his picture!"

"Don't do the story Hope. If you do and you mention an undercover agent working the drug ring, then you're effectively ruining the work of what could possibly be years worth of effort and sweat."

Hope sat there in stunned silence. How could he ask her to keep her mouth shut on this? "Frank, it's breaking news!! Something is finally being done about the drug problem here in Chicago and I want to be the one to tell the public! This is the story I've waited for since I became a journalist!"

"Hope, I'm begging you - don't do the story."

Now she could hear the desperation in his voice. "Why is this so important to you?"

"Because he's my agent."

"Oh my God!! He was a Federal Agent and didn't even tell you?" Mellody sipped on her coke as Hope nodded quietly.

"Yeah. He worked… works for the Justice Department. When he told me that, it was like everything fell into place about why he never talked about work, why I never met but the one co-worker of his, some woman named Monica… and why he begged me to not run the story. Mellody, I never pushed him for details, but wouldn't it have been courteous to have told me before I had to press it out of him?"

"Well, I think it would. But, if he was protecting his people…"

Hope sighed and looked down, picking at her French Fries. They'd been at lunch now for over an hour, closer to two hours. Mac would be furious when they got back, but right now she didn't care. She'd gotten the editor's job in Entertainment and Mac knew it. Besides, he'd encouraged her to get past whatever it was that was bothering her. Perhaps if she shared it with someone, she could. She'd been telling Mellody over lunch for two days now the story behind her and Frank - how they met and their ensuing short relationship.

She met him at the door with a smile. "I made dinner. When you called and said that you were on your way from D.C…"

"Hope, we have to talk." Frank closed the door behind him and led her to the couch.

"Frank, is everything all right?" She was beginning to worry. When she'd hung up on him yesterday, she hadn't heard a word out of him before a few hours ago when he'd called from the airport and said he'd be at her place that night.

"No. Please, tell me you didn't run that story."

"STOP!" Hope stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "I can't believe you're still going on about that!"

"HOPE!" he thundered at her. He watched as she turned around, a look of shock mixed with a little tinge of fear in her eyes. He'd never yelled at her before. Seeing that look in her eyes ripped at him. "I'm sorry. But you have to understand, I have to do everything I can to protect my agents."

Hope looked at him a moment, then nodded and turned to go into the kitchen. Frank sighed as the swinging door swung closed behind her. He shucked off his jacket and followed her into the kitchen. On the tile top island sat an open bottle of wine and a half full balloon glass of the deep red liquid.

"I'm sorry."

Frank looked up at her soft whisper. "For what?"

She turned around and stepped up to the island, her fingers curling around the bowl of the glass in front of her. "I don't know… for pressing you I guess."

"You didn't press me. There are reasons I kept things hidden from you. I did it to protect both you and my people."

Hope nodded. She hadn't lifted the glass to her lips yet, just gently ran her thumb over the rolled bead edging of the smooth glass. "You never said why. Frank," she looked up at him. It killed him to see an ache in her pale green eyes. "Why have you never touched me or tried to make love to me?"

Frank blinked a moment. "I'm afraid of hurting you. I live in a very dangerous world with very dangerous people. I cannot take the risk of these people finding out about you and coming after you to get to me."

Hope nodded, lifting the glass to her lips and taking a small sip.

"You do understand, right?" Frank inched closer to her. He covered her hand with his as it lay on the countertop. "Please Hope. I couldn't bear it if anything were to happen to you because of me."

"I understand."

"So you pushed away the sweetest thing in your life because you didn't want to see her hurt. Frank Donovan I could kick your ass right now."

Frank looked up in shock. "Can you honestly say that you would do anything differently?"

"I'd have a little more faith in her love, for one. Second, I'd have a little more faith in her. Frank, I don't have to tell you that you were wrong."

"No, Alex, I know I was wrong. But you don't know the half of it."

Hope rolled over in bed and rested her head on his chest. He listened to her breathing in the darkness. Absently he stroked her hair as he lay awake, staring at the ceiling and trying to sort out their conversation over dinner. She had been quiet most of dinner, not asking him any questions at all. He did finally get out of her that she'd had a bad day - down to and including her editor screaming at her when she turned in the article. He'd raked her over the coals for doing a less than thorough job and he'd put her on probation. She also told him that she'd received a job offer in New York City. It was because of him and his firm stance that she'd gotten yelled at. No one should yell at Hope. She was a fragile being on the outside. But, he had a feeling that inside she had strong reserves of strength. She just hadn't tapped into them yet.

Hope's eyes were wide open as she rested on Frank's chest, listening to his heart beating. She inhaled deeply taking in the scent of him. She knew he wasn't asleep any more than she was. Everything they'd discussed before dinner came back to her. Maybe that's why he had never said that he loved her. "Frank?" she asked quietly.

"Yes Hope?"

She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to his equally quiet reply. "You never said you loved me." She raised up and looked down at him. "I know you care for me, I know you want to protect me. But I don't know if you love me. Why can't you just tell me?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you Hope." He said plainly.

She blinked for a moment, then laid her head down on his chest again. She processed what he'd said. He shouldn't have to tell her… "I did it for you Frank. The article. I had it completely written when I called you, but I trashed it when you asked me to."

She felt his hands stop their idle paths over her skin when she stopped speaking. She heard him clear his throat in the darkness and a whispered, "Thank You. I appreciate that. I have to protect my team first and foremost."

Hope felt a sharp pain in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and hung her head.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry.." Mellody whispered as she reached for Hope's hand. She squeezed it supportively and kept quiet until Hope's eyes opened. They were a deeper shade of green and slick with tears.

"The next morning I went to work and called Mac, told him I'd take the job."

"Just like that?"

"Well, when a guy tells you that he shouldn't have to tell you that he loves you, then tells you that he thinks of his employees first and foremost…" she hiccuped and paused a few moments to calm herself. "I just…"

"I know. I understand. But Hope, you've got to talk to this Frank about it."

"He won't understand. He can't tell me that he loves me, what makes you think he'll understand how hurt I am?"

--

"You said what?" Alex was about ready to come over the desk at Frank. After hearing what he'd said to Hope, Alex was completely dumbstruck. Not even Cody was that oblivious. "All she needed to hear from you was three little words!! How could you NOT make an effort to say them?"

It was Frank's turn to get indignant. "Alex, that's enough! I don't need you to lecture me on what I should and should not have said!"

"Well, apparently you do!! God damn it Frank! She tells you she jeopardized her career for you and you tell her that your team is most important to you? How thick headed are you?"

Frank glared at her for a moment before turning to look out of the window behind him. "I know Alex," he said quietly. "For the first time in my life I'm regretting something I said and something I didn't say."

"So tell her."

"I can't. I don't know where she is."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe, if you call the editor of her newspaper, that they'll be more than happy to tell you?"

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