Forgot disclaimer in Chapter 1. Don't own Evangelion. Only time I will
say it since I forget to a lot of times. Oh, there's this cool website
that has two Evangelion screensavers. It is www.ScreenSavorshot.com or
something like that.
Chapter 2: What Remains For Me?
"The Third Child is willing to pilot Unit 01 sir," Misato reported.
"Good," said Gendo, "The construction crews have moved in and are starting to drain the lake that has formed. We've bought ourselves some time, but the EVA units will be our edge."
"Rei was unable to sync with Unit 02," reported Maya. She had been promoted to head of the Science Division, replacing Ritsuko. They still did not know where she was. "I am not sure why, but it may be because of what Tabris did."
"That is most unwelcome news," said Gendo, "Figure out a way to rectify the situation."
"It may not be possible," said Maya, "If the situation turns out to be like the one we have with Unit 01, we may not be able to do so without the Second Child."
"I leave finding a solution in your hands, Dr. Ibuki."
Gendo walked out.
"He's going to get us all killed someday," said Misato.
She and Maya left the office and walked down the where Unit 02 was held.
"So what exactly is the problem?" Misato asked.
"It has to do with the EVA unit's core," explained Maya, "Something in it just won't accept Rei as the pilot. We don't know exactly what the reason is, but we're working on it."
"I'm sure you are. But if Rei can't pilot it, Commander Ikari will demand that Asuka pilots it."
"Do you think she'll be able to?" Maya asked, concern in her voice.
"Even if she isn't, Asuka will insist on piloting it," Misato said with a deep sigh. Sometimes there was no reasoning with that girl.
The hallway was silent except for their footsteps as they continued down.
"Why did Shinji agree to pilot Unit 01 again?" Maya asked.
"I think he's doing it to try to help his friends," Misato said, a smile starting to appear, but fading quickly. "He has a very heavy burden that he has taken for himself. He deserves a chance at a happier life."
"Maybe when this is over." Those words sounded false even to Maya. For NERV, this would most likely never be over.
Shinji was back in Asuka's hospital room. This time, he didn't bother trying to talk to her. He just looked at her.
"I have to choose," he muttered to himself.
"What do you have to choose?"
His head spun around. Rei was standing behind him.
"Oh. Ayanami. You startled me."
"Why did I startle you?"
"I didn't expect someone to be behind me."
"I see. What do you have to choose?"
"I don't know," Shinji admitted, "I'm not completely sure."
Rei was silent. Shinji took it as she didn't understand.
"I had a dream and I met somebody," he said, not wanting to say Kaworu for the moment, "He said that I would have to make a choice. However, I was never told what I would have to choose or why."
"Are you worried?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Shinji turned completely around so that his body faced Rei.
"Ayanami, do you think you're human?"
The question took her slightly by surprise, but she did not show it.
"I am Rei Ayanami. If Rei Ayanami is human, than so am I."
"Ayanami, that's not true. What makes a human is the ability to feel pain, sorrow, happiness, joy, basically emotions. If you experience emotions, you are human."
"Then if one has no emotions, one is not human?"
"Do you have emotions?"
"I-I don't know. I believe I do. However, I do not understand them."
"Do you want to understand them?"
"Is there a difference in understanding emotions and experiencing emotions?"
"Yes," said Shinji, "Emotions can bring pain, but they can also bring joy."
Rei looked at him and finally nodded. Shinji led her outside. The two walked together up to the surface, to the lake that had been Tokyo 3.
"What do you feel right now?" he asked.
"The place is calm."
"Do you feel any comfort?"
Rei was silent. She looked out in front of her for a while before responding.
"I feel calm. I do not know of comfort."
"If you feel calm, at least you are at peace," said Shinji. Unlike me, he thought. The third Rei was a mystery to him. The second. Well, the second was almost someone he could relate to in a way. And she had saved his life. However, he had promised to himself that if he could save Rei, he would.
He kicked a pebble off of the path and it bounced along the rocks and gravel. Disturbing the peace. Well, it wasn't like he hadn't done that before.
"Are you comforted, Ikari?"
"Hmm? Oh. No."
"Why not?" asked Rei.
"This place holds too many painful memories," he said, "I'm reminded of pain here."
"I do not remember. I do not remember pain or joy."
"I'm going to try to at least let you experience joy Ayanami, I promise you that."
The two were soon at the artificial lake.
"You saved me," he said, "When you self-destructed Unit 00."
"Yes, I did."
"But you don't remember."
"No."
"I was sent to save you, but you saved me instead."
Rei looked across the sparkling lake. The sun was still high, and its light reflected off of the clear water. Suddenly, things flashed through her head. Memories. Panic. Fear. Loneliness. She staggered for a moment before they subsided. When her head cleared, she found that Shinji was holding her up.
"Ayanami, are you okay?"
"Yes. Thank you, Ikari."
Shinji's face was slightly red. He let her go once he was sure she could stand by herself. Rei continued to look out at the lake.
"It is peaceful."
"Yes," said Shinji, "A peaceful display made out of destruction."
"Do you disapprove of what I did?" asked Rei, "When I saved you?"
"No," said Shinji, "The only thing more precious than life is the act that saves it."
Misato was a ways back. She had followed them up to the surface and was currently watching them. She smiled. Shinji had said that if he could save Rei and Asuka, he would do so. Maybe this time he would be able to.
Shinji sat down on the ground, finding a small patch of grass. Rei sat down next to him. Their close proximity caused him to nearly freak, but he managed to stay in control. When he had allowed his anger to overwhelm him, he had managed to break out of a shell he had constructed for himself. Perhaps, with more time, he could help Asuka as well.
Asuka's mind was finally starting to think. However, her thoughts were dark. She was a failure. There was nothing for her to live for. She was no longer the Second Child. She had no reason to live. She had given up completely on everything. No point to continue on living. She just laid there and continued this train of thought.
"Shinji! Rei!"
Shinji turned around and saw Misato waving to them.
"I guess we'd better get back," he said.
Rei nodded, got up and followed him back down the road. They went back down into NERV.
"Shinji, we're going home now," she said, "There isn't anything for me to do."
"All right. Where are you going to go now Ayanami?"
"Home."
Shinji thought for a few seconds. He looked at Misato for approval. After her own few seconds of consideration, she nodded.
"Ayanami, why don't you stay with us for a while?" he asked.
"Why?"
"Well, you'd have some company."
"I'm still not sure I understand your reason."
"Ayanami, I promised to try to let you experience joy. I want to continue trying."
"So my moving in would help you accomplish your objective."
"Possibly."
"I will seek permission."
"Why?" asked Shinji, "Why do you need permission? You are who you are, but you are also your own person. You don't need permission to decide where you live."
"Why don't I need permission?"
"Because you decide where you live, not my father."
"Very well," she said, "I will need to gather some clothes."
"We can stop by your apartment on our way home," said Misato, "Come on, let's get down to the garage."
Shinji followed Rei and Misato. Again, he asked himself why he was helping Rei. The answer was the promise that he had made. Even if he knew Rei's past, that didn't mean he would condemn her because of it, and the dummy plug was not Rei. He would not blame the actions of a emotionless machine on her. Rei had emotions. She just needed help understanding them, and that was the very least he could do to help her. He owed the second Rei that much for saving his life.
"Is this a good thing?" asked Kozo.
"We will see how this goes," said Gendo. In reality, he was somewhat proud of his son. He had finally taken some initiative and was trying to help Rei. That was something he did approve. Well, time would tell how this went. "Yes. We'll see how this turns out."
"What of Seele?" asked Kozo, "The Third Impact is supposed to take place very soon."
"We'll handle the old men when the time comes," said Gendo, "They will not be able to interfere."
Misato was driving very carefully for her, but it was still fast. They had gotten Rei's things and were almost to the apartment. She screeched to a stop. The three got out and took the elevator up to their floor.
"I'm surprised this thing still works," said Misato, trying to kill time.
Shinji and Rei were both silent. They didn't know what to say. They entered the Katsuragi apartment. The things were neat because Shinji had tidied things up before he had gone through that tantrum.
"Ayanami, you can sleep in my room," said Shinji, "I'll sleep on the couch."
"But am I not the guest? Should I not sleep on the couch?"
"It's okay," said Shinji, "Besides, Asuka would probably kill me if she found out you slept in her room."
"Very well, Ikari."
"You can call me Shinji."
"And you may call me Rei."
She went into Shinji's room and closed the door.
"Well, good night Shinji."
"Good night Misato.
End of Chapter 2
R+R. After the third or fourth chapter, I might not be able to update. Depends on how much I am able to write.
Z98
Chapter 2: What Remains For Me?
"The Third Child is willing to pilot Unit 01 sir," Misato reported.
"Good," said Gendo, "The construction crews have moved in and are starting to drain the lake that has formed. We've bought ourselves some time, but the EVA units will be our edge."
"Rei was unable to sync with Unit 02," reported Maya. She had been promoted to head of the Science Division, replacing Ritsuko. They still did not know where she was. "I am not sure why, but it may be because of what Tabris did."
"That is most unwelcome news," said Gendo, "Figure out a way to rectify the situation."
"It may not be possible," said Maya, "If the situation turns out to be like the one we have with Unit 01, we may not be able to do so without the Second Child."
"I leave finding a solution in your hands, Dr. Ibuki."
Gendo walked out.
"He's going to get us all killed someday," said Misato.
She and Maya left the office and walked down the where Unit 02 was held.
"So what exactly is the problem?" Misato asked.
"It has to do with the EVA unit's core," explained Maya, "Something in it just won't accept Rei as the pilot. We don't know exactly what the reason is, but we're working on it."
"I'm sure you are. But if Rei can't pilot it, Commander Ikari will demand that Asuka pilots it."
"Do you think she'll be able to?" Maya asked, concern in her voice.
"Even if she isn't, Asuka will insist on piloting it," Misato said with a deep sigh. Sometimes there was no reasoning with that girl.
The hallway was silent except for their footsteps as they continued down.
"Why did Shinji agree to pilot Unit 01 again?" Maya asked.
"I think he's doing it to try to help his friends," Misato said, a smile starting to appear, but fading quickly. "He has a very heavy burden that he has taken for himself. He deserves a chance at a happier life."
"Maybe when this is over." Those words sounded false even to Maya. For NERV, this would most likely never be over.
Shinji was back in Asuka's hospital room. This time, he didn't bother trying to talk to her. He just looked at her.
"I have to choose," he muttered to himself.
"What do you have to choose?"
His head spun around. Rei was standing behind him.
"Oh. Ayanami. You startled me."
"Why did I startle you?"
"I didn't expect someone to be behind me."
"I see. What do you have to choose?"
"I don't know," Shinji admitted, "I'm not completely sure."
Rei was silent. Shinji took it as she didn't understand.
"I had a dream and I met somebody," he said, not wanting to say Kaworu for the moment, "He said that I would have to make a choice. However, I was never told what I would have to choose or why."
"Are you worried?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
Shinji turned completely around so that his body faced Rei.
"Ayanami, do you think you're human?"
The question took her slightly by surprise, but she did not show it.
"I am Rei Ayanami. If Rei Ayanami is human, than so am I."
"Ayanami, that's not true. What makes a human is the ability to feel pain, sorrow, happiness, joy, basically emotions. If you experience emotions, you are human."
"Then if one has no emotions, one is not human?"
"Do you have emotions?"
"I-I don't know. I believe I do. However, I do not understand them."
"Do you want to understand them?"
"Is there a difference in understanding emotions and experiencing emotions?"
"Yes," said Shinji, "Emotions can bring pain, but they can also bring joy."
Rei looked at him and finally nodded. Shinji led her outside. The two walked together up to the surface, to the lake that had been Tokyo 3.
"What do you feel right now?" he asked.
"The place is calm."
"Do you feel any comfort?"
Rei was silent. She looked out in front of her for a while before responding.
"I feel calm. I do not know of comfort."
"If you feel calm, at least you are at peace," said Shinji. Unlike me, he thought. The third Rei was a mystery to him. The second. Well, the second was almost someone he could relate to in a way. And she had saved his life. However, he had promised to himself that if he could save Rei, he would.
He kicked a pebble off of the path and it bounced along the rocks and gravel. Disturbing the peace. Well, it wasn't like he hadn't done that before.
"Are you comforted, Ikari?"
"Hmm? Oh. No."
"Why not?" asked Rei.
"This place holds too many painful memories," he said, "I'm reminded of pain here."
"I do not remember. I do not remember pain or joy."
"I'm going to try to at least let you experience joy Ayanami, I promise you that."
The two were soon at the artificial lake.
"You saved me," he said, "When you self-destructed Unit 00."
"Yes, I did."
"But you don't remember."
"No."
"I was sent to save you, but you saved me instead."
Rei looked across the sparkling lake. The sun was still high, and its light reflected off of the clear water. Suddenly, things flashed through her head. Memories. Panic. Fear. Loneliness. She staggered for a moment before they subsided. When her head cleared, she found that Shinji was holding her up.
"Ayanami, are you okay?"
"Yes. Thank you, Ikari."
Shinji's face was slightly red. He let her go once he was sure she could stand by herself. Rei continued to look out at the lake.
"It is peaceful."
"Yes," said Shinji, "A peaceful display made out of destruction."
"Do you disapprove of what I did?" asked Rei, "When I saved you?"
"No," said Shinji, "The only thing more precious than life is the act that saves it."
Misato was a ways back. She had followed them up to the surface and was currently watching them. She smiled. Shinji had said that if he could save Rei and Asuka, he would do so. Maybe this time he would be able to.
Shinji sat down on the ground, finding a small patch of grass. Rei sat down next to him. Their close proximity caused him to nearly freak, but he managed to stay in control. When he had allowed his anger to overwhelm him, he had managed to break out of a shell he had constructed for himself. Perhaps, with more time, he could help Asuka as well.
Asuka's mind was finally starting to think. However, her thoughts were dark. She was a failure. There was nothing for her to live for. She was no longer the Second Child. She had no reason to live. She had given up completely on everything. No point to continue on living. She just laid there and continued this train of thought.
"Shinji! Rei!"
Shinji turned around and saw Misato waving to them.
"I guess we'd better get back," he said.
Rei nodded, got up and followed him back down the road. They went back down into NERV.
"Shinji, we're going home now," she said, "There isn't anything for me to do."
"All right. Where are you going to go now Ayanami?"
"Home."
Shinji thought for a few seconds. He looked at Misato for approval. After her own few seconds of consideration, she nodded.
"Ayanami, why don't you stay with us for a while?" he asked.
"Why?"
"Well, you'd have some company."
"I'm still not sure I understand your reason."
"Ayanami, I promised to try to let you experience joy. I want to continue trying."
"So my moving in would help you accomplish your objective."
"Possibly."
"I will seek permission."
"Why?" asked Shinji, "Why do you need permission? You are who you are, but you are also your own person. You don't need permission to decide where you live."
"Why don't I need permission?"
"Because you decide where you live, not my father."
"Very well," she said, "I will need to gather some clothes."
"We can stop by your apartment on our way home," said Misato, "Come on, let's get down to the garage."
Shinji followed Rei and Misato. Again, he asked himself why he was helping Rei. The answer was the promise that he had made. Even if he knew Rei's past, that didn't mean he would condemn her because of it, and the dummy plug was not Rei. He would not blame the actions of a emotionless machine on her. Rei had emotions. She just needed help understanding them, and that was the very least he could do to help her. He owed the second Rei that much for saving his life.
"Is this a good thing?" asked Kozo.
"We will see how this goes," said Gendo. In reality, he was somewhat proud of his son. He had finally taken some initiative and was trying to help Rei. That was something he did approve. Well, time would tell how this went. "Yes. We'll see how this turns out."
"What of Seele?" asked Kozo, "The Third Impact is supposed to take place very soon."
"We'll handle the old men when the time comes," said Gendo, "They will not be able to interfere."
Misato was driving very carefully for her, but it was still fast. They had gotten Rei's things and were almost to the apartment. She screeched to a stop. The three got out and took the elevator up to their floor.
"I'm surprised this thing still works," said Misato, trying to kill time.
Shinji and Rei were both silent. They didn't know what to say. They entered the Katsuragi apartment. The things were neat because Shinji had tidied things up before he had gone through that tantrum.
"Ayanami, you can sleep in my room," said Shinji, "I'll sleep on the couch."
"But am I not the guest? Should I not sleep on the couch?"
"It's okay," said Shinji, "Besides, Asuka would probably kill me if she found out you slept in her room."
"Very well, Ikari."
"You can call me Shinji."
"And you may call me Rei."
She went into Shinji's room and closed the door.
"Well, good night Shinji."
"Good night Misato.
End of Chapter 2
R+R. After the third or fourth chapter, I might not be able to update. Depends on how much I am able to write.
Z98