Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor his friends.
What the Hell Happened Last Night? - Sango's Sadness
Oh how could I be so stupid! I was such an idiot. I never should have fallen for it. I'm just like all those other girls. I can't believe I've done this. Oh that monk... he makes me so mad. There he is, still sleeping, looking so cute and innocent. I'm so mad I kicked him.
"Get up, Houshi-sama." I demanded. He didn't move. I put my foot on his shoulder and shoved. He rocked, but didn't move. I demanded again, and pushed with my foot. He groaned and I could see his eyes trying to open. I pushed a couple more times. Damn him anyway. He had no right to sleep.
Finally he rolled over and looked up at me. He opened his mouth and stretched his lips across his teeth. What the heck was he doing? Was he still drunk? Oh yuck. Please never let me drink anything like that. If it causes you to loose whatever sense you might have possessed, not that that lech has any sense, I don't ever want to drink.
I stood watching him for a moment. He didn't say anything. He looked like he didn't remember what he'd said, what we'd... I couldn't stand it. I walked away to check on the water for tea. I needed something to drink. I needed to steady my nerves. I wasn't a little girl. I knew what I was doing, but really... I had thought, I had believed... tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn't let them fall.
"AH! My head hurts!" I heard him cry. Served him right. I actually snorted. What did he think he was doing drinking that bottle of sake by himself? I glared at him. He grinned at me. At least I think it was a grin.... he could be making fun of me again.
Oh good grief. The fool tried to stand, and wound up swaying so bad. There he went... At least, he caught himself before he broke his nose. Sighing I rose to my feet and wet a cloth in the water bucket. He usually is so sweet. I couldn't blame him. After all, he did have a lot of sake. I'm such a fool. "Do you think you can sit up now?" I asked. "I made some tea, and a potion for your head." He nodded slowly, but didn't speak. I got a whiff of his smell. Oh yuck! "Houshi-sama, you smell. Bad! I think you need a bath right now." And now wasn't soon enough!
I did bring him a cup of tea. He seemed to enjoy it, and he almost brightened after drinking a cup. I poured him another, and brought the potion I fixed. Oh this should be good, I thought as I handed him the potion. I tried hiding my smile but didn't succeed. I knew from my father's experience how nasty the cure from a night of drinking is. I didn't think my lecherous monk would like it.
He smelled it. "Ugh!" he cried, and pushed the cup away. "What is that stuff? It smells awful!"
I smiled and pushed the cup back into his hands. "It's a potion to stop your headache and help settle your stomach. I need your help today. You promised. Besides, Kagome and Inuyasha are still gone, and I'm worried." I was worried. Not only about Kagome, and even Inuyasha. I didn't like the way they took off the night before.
"What was that? Demon piss?" Miroku cried out, making me laugh. I watched as he drank more tea.
I knew I shouldn't but couldn't help but say, "You know, you wouldn't feel this bad if you had just gone easy last night. You acted like you had to drink that whole bottle. Idiot!" Oh great, now I was crying again. Damn... why was I such a fool?
"I didn't drink the whole bottle on my own. Inuyasha had some. Besides, I didn't mean to drink as much as I did." I heard him mumbled, but knew it was just an excuse. He drank that sake like he had been dying of thirst.
I watched as he rose to his feet and started to walk out of the hut. He wasn't going to say anything to me. I tried to not feel so sad, so depressed, but I did any way. "I'll have breakfast ready when you return, if you want some." I called out to him quietly. I picked up his teacup and sat swirling the cup in my hands. The old women of my clan use to say something about tea leaves, and your love…. I wish I could remember, but at the time I wasn't interested in love, only hunting and killing youkai.
Suddenly he was looking at me intently, and asked softly, "Sango? Are you okay?"
I didn't want to look at him. If I did, I thought I would cry. He didn't remember. I shook my head, and rose to my feet. He pulled me back around to him, and lifted my chin. I couldn't escape. I couldn't hide the tears in my eyes. I felt so ashamed.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying? Did somebody hurt you?" he demanded urgently.
I shook my head, not looking at him, and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears streaked down my face. He hugged me close, and I so wanted to hug him back. I wanted to get lost in his arms. I was such a fool. I had to get away from him. I had to stop falling for his charm. I pushed against his chest, trying to break free. Suddenly he released me, almost making me stumble.
I walked to the fire, and began to heat more water. "I'm fine. I just… I just had a thought is all." I had wiped away my tears and looked back at him. He stood watching me like he wanted to say more, but didn't. I wanted to be alone righ. So I told him, "You should go take your bath. If the others do not show up for breakfast, we'll have to go look for them." He nodded and walked out of the hut.
I cried silently while fixing the breakfast meal. I missed Kagome, and wanted to talk with her, talk about what happened last night. I knew she had her own tale to tell. I smiled for her sake. I'm sure she is happy this day. Inuyasha looked so happy last night. I hope they are both alright this morning.
I checked on Shippou. He was still sleeping. Poor thing. What was that foolish monk thinking letting that baby drink sake? I should have kicked his ass last night for that stupid trick. I smoothed the kitsune's hair back from his face, and adjusted the blanket. He'll sleep for awhile longer. I prayed he won't feel the after effects this day. I have enough to do, and enough going on without having to take care of a hung over oni-kitsune!
I had fixed the hot cereal Kagome called oatmeal, and set it to the side, waiting for everyone to come before we eat. And I paced. I couldn't help it. I was nervous. I needed to talk to that damn monk and find out what he really thinks, without the sake clouding his brain.
Miroku walked in the hut looking bright and cheerful. I scowled. How dare he anyway? Oh it's just too unfair. He acted like he hasn't a care in the world. Well, he probably doesn't. I mean, I'm just one of a long string of girls, wasn't I? He took my breath away by handing me a bouquet of flowers. Oh he's so sweet. I could feel my heart melting again... at least until I noticed he can't take his eyes off my bosom! The beast! He's lucky I don't hit him! Just the thought… Just knowing what we shared last night, and now he's treating me like this again.. It's too much. Tears came to my eyes again. Oh really! What the heck is wrong with me!? I'm not a child! I'm a woman, and shouldn't be crying like this. I turned from him and went to dish up breakfast.
Kagome and Inuyasha walked in the hut as he sat down next to me. Kagome looked so happy. I could tell she wanted to talk and I had risen when that hentai said, "So how was your night, ne? Have fun?" I mean, really! Is nothing sacred? So I hit him on the head.
The girl I love as a sister was dressed in Inuyasha's clothing, and looking pretty scandalous. I could just tell the kinds of thoughts going through that lech's head. I pulled Kagome behind the changing screen, and asked in a whisper "So?? What happened? You look so happy." I couldn't keep the envy from my voice.
Kagome looked at me, and gave me a quick hug. She was struggling to get out of the haori and gi, while telling me hurriedly in a hushed voice, "He doesn't remember! It's kind of cute watching him try to find out what took place. It's sad in a way, because it's the best night of my life." She smiled a very dreamy smile. I sighed. I wished I could say the same about my night.
"So what did you do?" I whispered again. Really! She was being too secretive.
"Well, mostly we talked."
I rolled my eyes. "Then how did you wind up wearing his clothes?" Did she take me for a child?
She giggled. "He was showing off!" Her giggling was infectious. I had to join her. The thought of Inuyasha showing off was too cute! "He tried to cross the river at the rapids, and dropped me. It was an accident but he felt really bad about it." Her expression took on a soft loving look.
"What happened to your clothes?" I mean, really. She had lost it.
"Oh" She blushed bright red. I looked at her closely. "He uh... ripped them off so I wouldn't be wet and cold any more." I gasped. My mouth opened and closed several times. She had her own change of clothes on by this time, and picking up Inuyasha's, she whispered, "I cannot tell you more. Not until I tell Inuyasha. But we'll have to get together later tonight and talk ok? I can see you're not happy. And I want to hear all about it, but I'm afraid Inuyasha isn't being patient this morning, and is really worried he did something terrible." She gave me a hug. She is such a sweet sister.
Breakfast was pretty much a quiet affair. Inuyasha kept watching Kagome. He looked so cute, and Kagome was right, he did look like he was expecting something terrible to happen. I knew how he felt. That monk seemed lost in his own thoughts. I wanted to hit him over the head just because.... He shouldn't be allowed to look peaceful and serene. At least not when he made me so very unpeaceful.
Shippou woke, and greeted Kagome like he usually does. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't feeling the after effects of drinking last night. I watched them play with each other and was startled to hear Inuyasha growl. He looked startled himself. I smiled at him, and returned to my breakfast.
Miroku helped me clean up the breakfast things while Kagome was busy talking to Shippou. I sighed. That man, really. He could be so nice. I wished he would hold me, without groping. But I guess that's too much to ask for now... I closed my eyes. I was being foolish again.
"I think we probably should take a walk, or something. There are some things I don't think you want everyone to know about." I heard Kagome say. I looked around and she added, "After I tell him what happened, if he wants to share, then it'll be up to him."
Inuyasha dragged Kagome out the door. The moment they left the hut, Miroku looked at me. I thought how I would love to be able to go for a walk, and talk about my feelings with him. A blush rose my cheeks. I could see he was about to say something when Shippou whimpered, and fell over, clutching his head.
"Shippou-chan!" I cried out and knelt by him. I held his little head, as he groaned and rubbed his belly. He started crying and saying how Kagome would hate him for drinking, and how he was dying. I glared over at Miroku. How could he put this sweet child through so much pain!? I got up, reassuring Shippou he wasn't dying. I mixed up some of the same potion I had made for Miroku earlier in the morning.
Miroku sat by the wall, and seemed to be asleep while I tended to Shippou. The poor baby didn't know what had happened to him, and had put on an act for Kagome, afraid if she found out he had drank sake, she wouldn't like him. How just like a child. Thinking of children, I looked over at the monk. I wish, I wish he could remember. I wish he would understand what I was going through. I didn't want to have to tell him. I mean, that would be embarrassing, and he should remember, damn it!
Miroku cleared his throat. "Uh.. Sango-sama?" and I looked up at him. "Could we... uh.. could we go for a walk?" I frowned and looked down at Shippou. I would love to be able to talk with him, but... "It'll only take a moment. I need to talk with you about last night. Please?" Oh there he went, giving me that look I can never refuse.
I nodded and rose to my feet. We walked out of the hut, and started down the river path, walking slowly. He didn't say anything, and I started to get nervous. I asked, "You remember what you said last night?" Hoping against hope, and feeling a little apprehensive at the same time.
He cleared his throat. "Listen Sango-sama, I .. I'm sorry." He's sorry? I looked at him startled. I can't believe he's said that. He stammered out, "I'm sorry I said those things to you. I didn't really mean it. I mean, I was drunk, and didn't know what I was doing. You know how it is.."
Oh this was terrible! He remembered and he really didn't mean what he said. He's sorry! Oh no... I can't face him. I can't face anybody. I had to get away. I started running blindly. Not sure of where I'm going, I just ran.
~~The Night Before~~
"Come on Inuyasha, I thought demons liked vices of the world!" I heard Miroku teasing Inuyasha. What the heck did he think he was doing? Didn't he know what would happen if Inuyasha gave in and took a drink? Sometimes he can be such an idiot. I looked over at him frowning. Oh good grief! He's the only person I know who would believe a disproving look as an invitation to grope!
Just as I was about to smack him, I saw Inuyasha take the sake cup. "Inu DON'T!!" I yelled. But it was too late. OH NO! My blood ran cold. That idiot! You would think both of them would have realized what would happen. I started yelling at that stupid monk as I bopped him over the head. "Don't you know you're not suppose to get hanyous drunk!?! The alcohol effects multiply rapidly for half breeds, especially human/demon half breeds." I was so worried about Inuyasha, and watched him for any immediate changes. "He could do anything, and there's nothing we'd be able to do to stop him." I could still hear my trainer telling me some of the horrible things that can happen when a hanyou drinks.
I watched as Inuyasha tried to kiss Kagome. Good for Kagome! She must have taken notice, I mean I've given plenty examples on how to take care of hentai men! I glared at the monk again. Of course, I would have let Inuyasha lay there and not checked on him. See... now she's in his lap being ... Kissed? I sighed… Oh, that's so sweet.
The hut got quiet after Inuyasha and Kagome left. I was left with Miroku, who was trying to drink the entire bottle in one sitting. I rose and began to straighten the hut. There wasn't much of a mess, but things were still left out from dinner. Kaede had left for the night, and I wanted to make sure we kept her place clean. Honestly, we all spent far too much time with her, and needed to think of what we were going to do in the future. I sneaked a look at the monk and sighed. I wished I could plan for the future. If he would only say something. If he doesn't soon, I'm going to have to leave and try to build up the exterminator clan again.
I smiled thinking of that. I could do it. I've been to many villages, and could work with skilled soldiers left over from the wars. I wondered if Inuyasha would want to work. I stopped putting things away in Kagome's bag. His hand was on my rear. Damn him anyway.
"Houshi-sama, just where do you think your hand is?" I asked, trying to keep my temper in check. Couldn't he just leave me alone for one night? Or at least not touch me like that. I whirled around and smacked him hard on the cheek. It helped my temper just a little, but I felt kind of sad. I stepped over his sprawled body and went to pick up more dishes to pack away. I looked over at him, and felt relieved he can at least move.
Shippou staggered over to me, his eyes whirling. I wondered what was wrong with him, thinking Kagome might have given him too much candy, when he started throwing up. It smelled of sake. I shot that damn monk a dirty look. "How could you? He's just a kid! You are really too perverted!" I shouted at him, while holding Shippou as he continued to throw up. The poor baby. I helped him clean up, and carried him to bed.
I cleaned up his mess, and gave Miroku another look. How can he just sit there? There's a smile on his face like everything's right in the world with him. Hmmmm. that look on his face. those are lecherous thoughts. I'm not even going to ask.
As I went back to check on Shippou, the door to the hut burst open, and there was Inuyasha with Kagome in his arms. Inuyasha stood, grinning, and Kagome looked very happy. Inuyasha demanded to get married. I looked at Kagome; she was blushing and shook her head slightly. What were they doing?
That foolish drunk hentai said, "I'd be happy to marry you my friend!"
Kagome gasped and demanded to be put down. Inuyasha dropped her to the floor. I heard her cry, "SIT!" Inuyasha dropped like a rock, on top of her. OH MY! This has got to stop before something happens.
I grabbed that stupid monk, and hauled him over to the other side of the room. "You cannot marry them! Inuyasha is drunk and has no idea what he's doing or saying. There's no way I'll let you do this to Kagome-chan!" I was mad, and threatened him with Hiraikotsu and would have used it if he didn't agree.
I guess my threat got through, because he said, "I'll fake a ceremony. But what do you think will happen on their marriage night?" OOOohhhh. that pervert! I could see where his thoughts went, and hit him, hard!
I do have to admit the lech was right. If Inuyasha in his present state thought they were really together, then he would want to mate. Oh what to do? Kagome cannot be exposed to that. She needed to be aware of what could happen. 'Maybe I could slip something into his drink and make him sleep it off.' I thought, and then discarded it. The powders I carried have some smell and I doubted he would drink it. Giving Miroku a look, indicating he should leave, I called Kagome over.
I whispered, "Kagome-chan, Miroku's going to pretend to marry you two. I don't think Inuyasha's going to settle for less than something. But, I'm afraid." I faltered. Kagome was so innocent. Would she understand? Looking intently at me, she nodded for me to continue. "I'm afraid he might take that as a reason to mate with you." I finished very softly, watching her.
Kagome went white, and then she blushed. "I . I ..don't think.." She stammered. She looked like she was thinking pretty hard. "I don't think he will. He seems to be very sincere." She smiled so sweetly, I couldn't help but smile in return.
I tried one last time, and asked again, "Are you sure? I could try to make him sleep..."
Kagome shook her head. "I couldn't do that to Inuyasha. I don't think he'll try anything. But if he does..." Her voice drifted off and her gaze turned to the object of her thoughts. "If he does, I guess that will be alright as well." She smiled brightly at me again. "Don't worry Sango-chan. Everything will work out just fine. I love him, and he loves me. I can't believe it's just the sake talking." I gave her a hug and we walked back to Inuyasha and Miroku.
That monk did it! Even drunk he seemed to be very official. Of course the stuff he spouted was ridiculous. I mean what does he know about love and faithfulness and... and love. I also think the pray and blessing he gave was to keep pests away from a new house. But at least they weren't officially married. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Even if it wasn't a real wedding, it was so sweet, and Kagome looked so cute and happy.
Seconds after Miroku said they were married, Inuyasha turned to Kagome, picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. They were gone faster than I could say anything. Oh no. I hoped nothing awful happens. I didn't want to see Kagome hurt, and if he hurt her, Inuyasha would never forgive himself. I looked at Miroku, wondering if he would help me go look for them, wondering if we should. He looked like he was going to drop any moment, so I went outside by myself.
I didn't get far. As hard as I listened, I couldn't hear either one of them. I wished Kirara was here, and not with Kaede. She would have been able to find them for me. I stood and stared at the stars for a few minutes, praying everything will turn out okay before returning to the hut.
I should have known. He passed out. I wasn't sure if I should just leave him, or try to move him to a more comfortable spot. Looking heavenward for strength, I went to move him. I thought he'd be bad enough in the morning without being in the way, and sore from laying the way he was. I knelt by him, and tried to rouse him, at least a little. He did sort of wake, just enough for me to help him to his feet, and walk him to a futon.
He laid where I lowered him, smiling up at me in a silly way. He couldn't keep his eyes open. I covered him up, tucking the blanket around his shoulders, and started to leave. He caught my hand.
"My angel love." He whispered. I caught my breath and turned back to him. He was still smiling up at me, holding my hand clasped to his breast.
I smiled back at him in return and tried to take my hand back. He wouldn't give it, but pulled me down closer. We were bare inches from each other, and he touched my face. His eyes closed briefly and opened. "Must be dreaming. must be dreaming." He kept murmuring.
What is he saying? Why is he saying it? I closed my eyes, and willed myself not to cry. He can be so sweet. It must be the sake. His hand stroked my face again, and I opened my eyes. The way he looked at me, it took my breath away. His look made me feel like there was nothing else on the Earth more important; he showed me love, true love in that gaze. The tears started. I couldn't help them. I love that lecherous monk so much.
I felt his arms around me, holding me softly. He whispered in my ear, brushing my hair back, "My lady love, my special girl. I love you." He repeated it over and over. Hesitantly I brushed my lips to his. His words stilled, and he kissed me back. With a groan he pulled away. Again he murmured something about a dream.
"If it's a dream, then we're sharing it." I told him softly, stroking his face, kissing his neck. He was so gentle and kind. I let him touch me places I would normally smack him into next week for touching. I laid with him, cuddled under the blanket together.
As I drifted off to sleep, my last thought was wondering what the morning would bring.
~*~*~*~*~
I knew it had been a stupid thing to do. That monk never loved me. I can't believe what an idiot I was, and here I thought Kagome put herself into a position she'd regret. Oh how can I face him? How can I face my friends after this?
I came to a stop, and collapsed to my knees, crying. I'm so weak! I'm such a stupid GIRL! ACK! Never ever have I allowed anyone to kiss me, to touch me. I had never needed anyone, never wanted anyone. and now. for him to deny… to regret… to say he didn't mean what he said, what we did. Oh I'm so stupid! So stupid… why? Why can't he love me? I love him so much.
I threw back my head and screamed out my pain, my shame, my love. My body became weak, I couldn't cry any more.. I laid in the grass, clutching the blades, wishing I could die. It hurt so much… it hurt so much.
~