Ok, so here's Chapter 3! A little short, I know, sorry. :( There's actually some Jess-Rory interaction in this chapter—finally! Reviews would be greatly appreciated!
Disclaimers: I don't own Gilmore Girls, and I suppose I should have included this in the last chapter, but I don't own Our Lady Peace. ~*tear*~ Best band in the world! Anyways, I do own Mel and Steve.
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They stood there for several seconds, neither speaking, just staring at each other in a dazed silence.
"Jess."
"Rory."
More silence.
Rory shifted uneasily, glancing over her shoulder at the stairs she had just ascended. "Oh… um, were you just…"
Jess raised his eyebrows, his nonchalant face up and ready. "Leaving? Yeah."
"Oh. I was just… I was… um… If you were going don't let me bother you or anything, I'll just…" She rambled on, her eyes darting nervously over everything but him. She began to drift towards the stairs, her hands waving in apology like dazed moths in high wind.
"No! Don't."
That came out a little too earnestly for his liking. He cringed inwardly at his blunder, and immediately retreated back into himself, masking the turmoil that raged through his system. His tongue stumbled for words that would make him sound less eager, less vulnerable, but none came, leaving him stuck, unable to speak, in the doorway. After fumbling for several seconds for something to say, he finally came out with, "Why are you here?"
Ok, maybe a little harsh, he thought with a pang of regret as he saw a small flicker of hurt light in her eyes. But it soon vanished and she shrugged her shoulders, staring at her feet. "Oh, I, um, saw your friends before they left. Mel and Steve. They were, uh, nice."
She was rambling again. Jess nodded, faintly wondering where this was leading to.
"Yes, so they are."
"And, um, they told me you had something to say to me?" Her voice trailed off inquisitively, and she raised a pair of lucid blue eyes to stare directly at his face, pinning him to the spot. When he felt the heat begin to rise up his neck and into his cheeks, he quickly turned away, and glanced into the apartment.
He was going to kill Mel and Steve.
"Um, yeah, I guess you could say that," he said, his voice emotionless, betraying nothing. "Come on in," he added, almost as an afterthought, not turning around.
He heard the door shut with a soft click behind him, and heard the springs of the worn armchair squeak quietly as she settled onto it. He slowly turned and seated himself on the edge of a coffee table nearby.
He gestured towards her arms, saying, "You feeling ok?"
Rory glanced up at him, and back at her arms. "Oh, um, yeah. I'm fine now," she said quietly.
Jess nodded, staring at the wall behind Rory instead of at her. "Good."
Rory nodded as well, looking down uneasily at her hands clamped tightly in her lap. A short silence followed, and both Rory and Jess could feel the anxiety and tension, practically tangible, filling the space between them.
Suddenly, they both looked up and leaned forward slightly, saying simultaneously, "Look…"
They both paused and blinked and then said, once more in chorus, "You go first."
The stared at each other for several seconds, and then broke out into laughter. Rory wiped her eyes of her sleeve, gasping between spasms of mirth, "This is ridiculous! Why are we acting like this?"
Jess merely looked at the ground, his laughter slowly dying in his throat, because he knew exactly why things were so uncomfortable between them. It was because of him, because of that idiotic mistake he had made, because he had let go of the wheel and the car had smashed headlong into a tree.
God, he hated feeling guilty.
He ran a shaking hand through his hair, clenching and unclenching his fists. Apologizing had never been easy for him, no matter how sincere he was. And now as he tried to tell her he was sorry for everything he had done to her, the words stuck in his throat, his pride choking the half-born request for forgiveness. He felt like a fish out of water, his throat contracting but no sound coming out from his mouth.
His head jerked upwards as he felt a hand on his arm, and found himself face to face with Rory. He gulped and instinctively drew back, keeping his face as calm as possible.
"It's ok," she said gently, "I know what you're trying to say. I know you're trying to apologize. But I know its not easy for you, so you don't have to. I understand, ok?"
He blinked, a small flicker of surprise showing in his usually indifferent eyes. His brow furrowed, his perplexity growing. "Oh," was all he could come out with. Why couldn't he control his emotions properly today?
He gritted his teeth, and pulled his arm away, staring at her. "No, I should apologize," he said with some difficulty. "It was my fault, and…"
Rory watched the conflicting emotions battle in the green depths of his eyes with sympathetic interest. She held no grudge against him, even though she hadn't been completely happy about it at first. It would take some time to completely trust him again, but still…
He was still struggling with what to say. Rory smiled, amused to see Jess at a loss for words. She didn't know how it had happened, but she had somehow over the past few months begun to care deeply about Jess. Despite his tough, indifferent exterior, she knew how isolated and vulnerable he really felt inside, and only cared the more about him for it. She had been able to see it at times, that flickering uncertainty in his eyes that broke through sometimes when they were alone. And she could see it now, shining bright as daylight.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had closed the distance between them. It was not until she felt the warmth of his lips pressed against hers that she realized what was going on, and she froze in shock, but somehow she couldn't pull away. Coherent thought slowly began to melt away as she kissed him, hazily relishing the feeling of soft lips covering hers. Rough, warm hands found their way to her cheeks as Jess slowly responded, nearly paralyzing Rory with the strange heat that exploded in her chest, swamping her in its heady embrace.
She jerked back quickly, gasping for breath, her cheeks flushed crimson, only too aware of how strangely cool her mouth and cheeks felt now that he wasn't touching her. Inwardly, however, she burned with a new fire that threatened to consume her, filling her with a sense of wild, raw exuberance that tore through her veins.
It terrified her.
How did he do it? How did he manage to, with a glance, make her feel more emotion in a second than she did in an hour with Dean?
Oh God. Dean.
Crap!
She stumbled to her feet in horror, and found herself staring straight into a pair of deep green eyes, filled with a strange jumble of emotions… confusion, surprise, concern…
Love.
An inexplicable terror rose in her throat as she wrenched her gaze away, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Love. Did Jess love her?
"Rory!"
She ignored him, running violently trembling hands through her hair, backing away, "How… why? I didn't… that wasn't…" Why wasn't her brain functioning? No, change that, why hadn't her brain functioned? Why had she kissed him? She loved Dean, Dean who had stayed by her side all this time while she was recuperating, Dean who had always been there for her when she needed him, Dean who…
Dean who…
Why couldn't she think of any other good things about Dean? There were many, many more, she told herself firmly, she just had to think… she had to get out of there.
Without a word, she turned and stormed down the steps, her hair swirling in a brown cloud behind her as she fled, Jess' voice still ringing in her ears.
She had to think… she had to figure things out… she needed time to think.