Chapter 37
Sheridan glanced over her shoulder, a childlike smile of glee curving her lips upward at Jake's disgruntled scowl. She ducked her head, trying to hide her reaction to Jake's dissatisfaction beneath a veil of golden hair, but she was unsuccessful, and the pair of brown eyes belonging to the woman beside her were laughing. "I just hate being cooped up in that room," Sheridan explained. "I'm a prisoner, and Jake's my warden. It's awful. I want freedom and fresh air. I want." "To go home?" Sheridan lowered her head, ashamed to feel the sting of tears at the corners of her eyes. The other woman lifted her trembling chin with two fingers, and Sheridan was forced to meet her eyes. Understanding brown eyes. The understanding and kindness in those eyes made Sheridan feel guilty for being such a pain. "I'm sorry," she murmured, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I've been so terrible to you when all you're trying to do is help me. You AND Jake.." she elaborated. "I just.I just want to see him again," she cried, resting her chin on the shoulder offered to her. "I want to see him so badly, and all I can think about is getting home. I've acted selfish, spoiled, and rude. I've been stuck in the middle of nowhere with you for months now, and it hasn't occurred to me to ask your name," she sniffled.
"Ra.Rachel." "Rachel," Sheridan said, testing the name on her tongue. Somehow the name didn't fit the woman holding on to her so carefully, but she pushed that thought away, deciding it was foolish to be stuck on something so silly. "I'm glad you're here, Rachel," she said sincerely, smiling tearfully when she felt Rachel's hands stroking her hair. There was something ultimately comforting about Rachel's touch, and Sheridan felt a pang in her heart at the thought that this was what a mother's touch should be like. This was what she had been missing for so long in her life. "Thank you," she murmured as Rachel's hands moved from her hair to cup her face. She closed her eyes when she felt the smooth press of Rachel's lips against her forehead and took the arm offered her once she opened them again. Rachel led her down the beach, farther and farther away from the crumbling inn and Jake's watchful dark gaze. Sheridan's blue eyes danced as the warm water lapped at her ankles, and she felt the ooze of wet sand between her toes. She closed her eyes, imagining that Luis were beside her, and she could hear his voice and feel his hand grasping hers as he whispered a promise-a promise that filled her with hope. Rachel shook her head, scolding her lightly as she waded into the gently splashing waves. Her admonishments died on her lips at the smile Sheridan sent her way. It was rare to see the smile painting Sheridan's lips reflected in her blue, blue eyes. So she said nothing else and let Sheridan enjoy her elusive moment of happiness.
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"Julian," Ivy spoke, emerging from the shadowy recesses of Julian's bedroom as he closed the door behind him. Julian snapped startled dark eyes to Ivy's form, backlit by the thin sliver of sunlight streaming in through the gape in the thick curtains. "Ivy," he hissed. "What on earth are you doing in here?" Ivy ignored his question, walking forward and turning on the bedside lamp. "Ivy." "Ethan was right, Julian. Something IS going on with you. But I don't think it's another affair. Alistair doesn't think so either, does he, Julian?" she said, seating herself on the edge of his bed. "Father always suspects my motives. Why shouldn't he when I would like nothing better than to emancipate mankind from such a pathetic excuse for a man?" Julian said by way of answer. Ivy's blue green eyes studied his face, studied his expression, and found him sincere. "It's not another affair, Ivy," Julian said truthfully, something inside him hoping that his answer pleased her. "It's something much bigger, and.Dammit! I wish Ethan had kept his mouth shut," Julian groaned, his hand shooting out to grab the decanter of brandy on the table beside him. Ivy watched the vein in his forehead throb with tension and his hands tremble with the fight against the desire to use alcohol as his salve. Julian's hands dropped back to his sides, and he walked to the window Ivy had stood before earlier, drawing the curtains back and looking out at the winter wonderland that seemed so obscene in the midst of all the madness swirling around and within this mansion.
The room was filled with oppressive silence for several long moments, and just when Ivy was about to decide talking, actually talking, to her husband was an exercise in futility and leave, Julian's quiet voice stalled her movements. "Do you remember how Sheridan loved to ask Martin every question in the book?" Ivy's brow creased, confused at the strange turn their conversation had taken. "She'd follow him everywhere. Like a shadow. Father was disgusted. Cranes weren't supposed to enjoy the help's company, but Sheridan did. She loved Pilar only second to Mother. And Martin was patient with her. Kind. She was starving for love and acceptance, Ivy, and Pilar and Martin.they gave it to her freely." Ivy smiled bittersweetly as she remembered the child Sheridan had been not too long ago, and she felt guilty remembering how her past preoccupation with herself and her feelings for Sam had prevented her from reaching out to her earlier. Before it was too late. "I don't think Father was jealous exactly," Julian continued. "But he tried to destroy what little happiness Sheridan knew as a child with his hate. He forbade her from going outside to watch Martin work in the gardens anymore. He denied her Pilar's affection, and when Sheridan disobeyed him, he punished her. Mother had gotten increasingly ill over the months, and she was powerless to stop him." Ivy's heart ached, so large and uncomfortable in her chest as she remembered. She blinked away her own tears and listened to Julian's strangled voice. "Father tormented Mother. Taunting her. He tried to twist Sheridan's innocence into something ugly, and he almost succeeded. He wanted to kill her goodness.he would have if." "If what, Julian?" A knock on the door startled them both. Ivy sighed heavily when she heard Pilar's muffled voice on the other side. She glanced at Julian, his back to her as he stared outside the window, and she knew the strange moment of confession was over for the time being. She stood up to let Pilar inside.
Sheridan glanced over her shoulder, a childlike smile of glee curving her lips upward at Jake's disgruntled scowl. She ducked her head, trying to hide her reaction to Jake's dissatisfaction beneath a veil of golden hair, but she was unsuccessful, and the pair of brown eyes belonging to the woman beside her were laughing. "I just hate being cooped up in that room," Sheridan explained. "I'm a prisoner, and Jake's my warden. It's awful. I want freedom and fresh air. I want." "To go home?" Sheridan lowered her head, ashamed to feel the sting of tears at the corners of her eyes. The other woman lifted her trembling chin with two fingers, and Sheridan was forced to meet her eyes. Understanding brown eyes. The understanding and kindness in those eyes made Sheridan feel guilty for being such a pain. "I'm sorry," she murmured, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I've been so terrible to you when all you're trying to do is help me. You AND Jake.." she elaborated. "I just.I just want to see him again," she cried, resting her chin on the shoulder offered to her. "I want to see him so badly, and all I can think about is getting home. I've acted selfish, spoiled, and rude. I've been stuck in the middle of nowhere with you for months now, and it hasn't occurred to me to ask your name," she sniffled.
"Ra.Rachel." "Rachel," Sheridan said, testing the name on her tongue. Somehow the name didn't fit the woman holding on to her so carefully, but she pushed that thought away, deciding it was foolish to be stuck on something so silly. "I'm glad you're here, Rachel," she said sincerely, smiling tearfully when she felt Rachel's hands stroking her hair. There was something ultimately comforting about Rachel's touch, and Sheridan felt a pang in her heart at the thought that this was what a mother's touch should be like. This was what she had been missing for so long in her life. "Thank you," she murmured as Rachel's hands moved from her hair to cup her face. She closed her eyes when she felt the smooth press of Rachel's lips against her forehead and took the arm offered her once she opened them again. Rachel led her down the beach, farther and farther away from the crumbling inn and Jake's watchful dark gaze. Sheridan's blue eyes danced as the warm water lapped at her ankles, and she felt the ooze of wet sand between her toes. She closed her eyes, imagining that Luis were beside her, and she could hear his voice and feel his hand grasping hers as he whispered a promise-a promise that filled her with hope. Rachel shook her head, scolding her lightly as she waded into the gently splashing waves. Her admonishments died on her lips at the smile Sheridan sent her way. It was rare to see the smile painting Sheridan's lips reflected in her blue, blue eyes. So she said nothing else and let Sheridan enjoy her elusive moment of happiness.
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"Julian," Ivy spoke, emerging from the shadowy recesses of Julian's bedroom as he closed the door behind him. Julian snapped startled dark eyes to Ivy's form, backlit by the thin sliver of sunlight streaming in through the gape in the thick curtains. "Ivy," he hissed. "What on earth are you doing in here?" Ivy ignored his question, walking forward and turning on the bedside lamp. "Ivy." "Ethan was right, Julian. Something IS going on with you. But I don't think it's another affair. Alistair doesn't think so either, does he, Julian?" she said, seating herself on the edge of his bed. "Father always suspects my motives. Why shouldn't he when I would like nothing better than to emancipate mankind from such a pathetic excuse for a man?" Julian said by way of answer. Ivy's blue green eyes studied his face, studied his expression, and found him sincere. "It's not another affair, Ivy," Julian said truthfully, something inside him hoping that his answer pleased her. "It's something much bigger, and.Dammit! I wish Ethan had kept his mouth shut," Julian groaned, his hand shooting out to grab the decanter of brandy on the table beside him. Ivy watched the vein in his forehead throb with tension and his hands tremble with the fight against the desire to use alcohol as his salve. Julian's hands dropped back to his sides, and he walked to the window Ivy had stood before earlier, drawing the curtains back and looking out at the winter wonderland that seemed so obscene in the midst of all the madness swirling around and within this mansion.
The room was filled with oppressive silence for several long moments, and just when Ivy was about to decide talking, actually talking, to her husband was an exercise in futility and leave, Julian's quiet voice stalled her movements. "Do you remember how Sheridan loved to ask Martin every question in the book?" Ivy's brow creased, confused at the strange turn their conversation had taken. "She'd follow him everywhere. Like a shadow. Father was disgusted. Cranes weren't supposed to enjoy the help's company, but Sheridan did. She loved Pilar only second to Mother. And Martin was patient with her. Kind. She was starving for love and acceptance, Ivy, and Pilar and Martin.they gave it to her freely." Ivy smiled bittersweetly as she remembered the child Sheridan had been not too long ago, and she felt guilty remembering how her past preoccupation with herself and her feelings for Sam had prevented her from reaching out to her earlier. Before it was too late. "I don't think Father was jealous exactly," Julian continued. "But he tried to destroy what little happiness Sheridan knew as a child with his hate. He forbade her from going outside to watch Martin work in the gardens anymore. He denied her Pilar's affection, and when Sheridan disobeyed him, he punished her. Mother had gotten increasingly ill over the months, and she was powerless to stop him." Ivy's heart ached, so large and uncomfortable in her chest as she remembered. She blinked away her own tears and listened to Julian's strangled voice. "Father tormented Mother. Taunting her. He tried to twist Sheridan's innocence into something ugly, and he almost succeeded. He wanted to kill her goodness.he would have if." "If what, Julian?" A knock on the door startled them both. Ivy sighed heavily when she heard Pilar's muffled voice on the other side. She glanced at Julian, his back to her as he stared outside the window, and she knew the strange moment of confession was over for the time being. She stood up to let Pilar inside.