FINAL FANTASY VII
The Two Flowers
(Open to a beach, a stage. A banner reading: "Beauty Contest" is hanging over the stage. Many female Final Fantasy characters are standing on the stage, wearing tight bikinis, including: Celes (from FFVI, in all her pixel-created glory), Rinoa, Selphie (from FFVIII), Dagger (from FFIX), Lulu, Rikku (from FFX), Kairi (from Kingdom Hearts), and a chick from Vana'diel (of FFXI). Aeris is also among the group of hotties.)
Headmaster Cid: ...and the winner of the 3rd Annual Sexiest Women of Role Playing Beauty Contest is... Rikku!
Rikku: Oh, my gosh! I won!
Aeris: Oh, for God's sakes! (casts Bolt 3, shocking Rikku)
Rikku: Urk... (falls backwards)
Headmaster Cid: Oh. All right then, seeing as how our winner has been... struck by lightening, then it is this judge's decision to re-crown our runner-up, Aeris, as the overall winner!
Aeris: Oh, my gosh! I won!
Headmaster Cid: That's right, Aeris. You've been declared the world's sexiest female RPG character by your loyal fans.
Aeris: Thank you, everyone! Thank you all so much! This... This is the happiest day of my afterlife! I want to thank everyone who voted for me. I want to thank my mom, my friends, my dead chocobo, and my little pet mu, who I keep hidden in a box under my bed. I also want to thank you, Cid, for pulling some strings and allowing me to come second place. (kisses him on the cheek) You're the best!
Headmaster Cid: Aeris, please, this isn't keeping it quiet.
Aeris: Isn't he great, girls?
Cid: (runs onstage) All right, I've had enough of this! You there! Four eyes!
Headmaster Cid: What??
Aeris: Cid? What're you doing here? This is my imaginary dream sequence! You can't come in here, waltzing around like this!
Cid: Can, and will. (punches Headmaster Cid in the face)
Headmaster Cid: Ow! (rubs his cheek)
Aeris: Cid!
Headmaster Cid: What the hell was that for?!
Cid: That's for giving Final Fantasy Cid's everywhere a bad name! (punches him again)
Headmaster Cid: Ow!
Cid: And that's for being a freakin' geek!
Aeris: (holding Cid back) Cid, please! You've hurt him enough!
Cid: (frowning) Ehh... all right. (to Headmaster Cid) You've been lucky this time, buddy. But here's some friendly advice: sleep with both eyes open.
Headmaster Cid: Wouldn't that suggest I shouldn't sleep at all?
Cid: (breaks through Aeris) All right, ya smart ass! (starts beating the crap out of Headmaster Cid)
Aeris: Cid! Cid!! Oh, to heck with this! (to Cid, who's still hitting Headmaster Cid) Thanks for ruining my fantasy! (walks offstage)
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums. Aeris is standing on a street corner, day dreaming. She's holding her flower basket.)
Aeris: It comes to something when you can't even day dream without interruptions. My gosh, business is slow nowadays...
Palmer: (jiggling back and forth) Hey, hey!
Aeris: Oh, hello. Can I help you, sir?
Palmer: Yes, siree! I wanna buy some flowers for my sweet heart! Whatcha got for me?
Aeris: We have an extensive range of colourful roses, bed-wetting daffodils, beautiful tulips, and flamboyant pansies.
Palmer: I'll take a bunch of roses then. (gets out his wallet)
Aeris: Certainly, I can have them delivered to you in around six to eight weeks.
Palmer: (with his hand in his wallet) 'Scuse me?
Aeris: (hands Palmer a form) If you'd like to sign along the dotted line, then I can process your order and have your flowers sent off to you, first class and free of charge, of course.
Palmer: But haven't you got any roses on you now? Like, in your basket?
Aeris: Oh, no. You don't understand. I don't bring any of the flowers with me. Do you realise how big a basket I'd have to use if I did? I keep the flowers at home, and then they're delivered by a friendly delivery boy I like to call "my personal bitch"... or Cloud, to his friends.
Palmer: I don't expect to wait all that time for a bunch of flowers! I might not even be seeing this girl in eight weeks!
Aeris: I can try and get them delivered in under two weeks, seeing as how you're desperate, but I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to make any crazy promises here.
Palmer: Forget the whole thing! I'll take my business elsewhere!
Aeris: Yeah? You think it'll be as easy as that to come across another flower merchant in this trashhole of a town?
Palmer: Sure. There's another vendor right across the street. (he points to a flower covered booth on the other side of the street)
Aeris: Ohh! So THAT'S the reason I've had nobody buying anything these last few weeks!
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the bar. Cloud, Tifa and Cid are all standing at the bar.)
Cid: ...so then he said, "If you expect to see that treasure ever again, then you'd better bring a shovel." And then he kicked him in the head.
Tifa: Wow! That sounds like a pretty exciting story, Cid!
Cid: Yeah, I saw it on TV last night. I thought it was great, too.
Tifa: And there was I thinking you'd actually DONE something just recently...
Cid: Oh, I've been busy too, y'know.
Cloud: With what? Oh, don't tell us. Another stupid airplane or rocket ship, right?
Cid: No. As a matter of fact, I've been busy makin' plans for a wedding.
Cloud: A wedding?
Tifa: Oh, Cid! You and Shera are... getting married?!
Cid: Huh? Hell no! You think I'd marry that freakish tart?!
Cloud: Then who's getting married?
Cid: That idiot Shera!
Tifa: ...to whom?
Cid: I wanted the hussy outta the house, so I went on the Internet and signed her up as one of those... Internet bride thingies.
Tifa: You didn't?!
Cid: Uh huh. True as the plain of my nose its end.
Cloud: You set--what?!
Cid: You heard me, numbskull.
Cloud: You set up Shera as an Internet bride?!
Tifa: Are you mentally unstable, Cid? Do you know what that would do to poor Shera?
Cid: Yeah, I thought it through. It'd get her a husband. Yeah, and then she'd move outta my place and I'd have the house to myself again.
Cloud: But wouldn't you miss her?
Cid: Well, the rent came in handy, but... no, not really. Can't think of a reason I would.
Tifa: You're disgustingly sick, Cid. (Aeris walks in) Oh, hi, Aeris. Sell any flowers today?
Aeris: No.
Tifa: Meaning you didn't make any money, either. Aeris, I'm sorry to have to bug you like this, but you're six weeks behind on the rent. If you don't cough up the cash soon, then I'm going to have to rethink your living arrangements.
Cid: You could always put her up as an Internet bride!
Tifa: Not helping, Cid.
Aeris: It's not that simple, Tifa. Selling flowers used to be about selling flowers, but now it's about more than that. It's about having the best flowers to sell, and beating out the competition.
Cloud: Come again?
Aeris: Another flower merchant's opened up a booth across the street from me. They're taking all my profits.
Tifa: Can't you just move further down the street?
Aeris: I've been at that spot for almost five years. If anyone should move, it's them.
Tifa: So... who's "them" exactly?
Aeris: I don't know who they are. I was so angry, I couldn't even think about confronting them. The only thing I could contemplate doing was coming back here to cool down. And now that I'm here, I'm seriously considering going back down there and kicking some serious butt.
Cloud: Whoa! Calm down, Aeris.
Tifa: Do you want me to come with you for morale support?
Aeris: Yes, please!
Tifa: Well, I can't. I've got to watch the bar. Cloud, Cid, go with her.
Cloud & Cid: Awww!
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. Aeris, Cloud and Cid look through the front for signs of life.)
Aeris: Hello? Anyone in?
Cid: Man, check out all the neat flowers. You don't have anythin' as good as these, Aeris.
Aeris: Yeah, there's no need to rub it in, Cid. I'm jealous enough as it is.
Cloud: Hey, look at this. (he points at a bell which has a card beside it reading: "Ring for Assistance") You know what to do, Aeris. (Aeris rings the bell and he turns to Cid) I meant she should've stolen the bell.
Cid: Women, eh?! Is it any wonder I want Shera outta my house?
Aeris: What's that about Shera?
Sephiroth: (pops up behind the booth) Yes? Can I help--ah! You!
Cloud: Oh my God! It's Sephiroth! It's that insane dude who tried to destroy the Planet!
Sephiroth: ...the very same. I suppose you want to buy some flowers.
Aeris: You! You set up this booth?
Sephiroth: Yes. And am I to take it there is a problem with that, girl whom I stabbed once?
Aeris: (quickly hides behind Cloud) No! No problem, Mr. Sephiroth, sir! (quietly) Kick his ass, Cloud! Kick his ass!
Cloud: Wait a minute... (frowning) Aren't you supposed to dead, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: (referring to Aeris) Isn't she?
Cloud: Point taken. Now, what the hell's going on? You can't set up this booth here. You're taking all of Aeris's customers.
Cid: Yeah. Plus men shouldn't really be sellin' flowers, man. That's a woman's job. You're a disgrace to your gender.
Sephiroth: Oh, and don't I know it. (sighs and hangs his head)
Cloud: ...Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: I didn't want to do this, you know. I had other plans. Plans involving world domination and... and my own brand of over-priced aftershave. This was all Mother's doing.
Cloud: Your Mother? Jenova?
Sephiroth: Yes. You see, my dear friends and girl whom I stabbed once- (Aeris grits her teeth, terrified) -Mother's been in this business for years. She owns a chain of boothes in every town and city the world over, each run by myself and a number of my slightly less-handsome clones on a rotary basis. Every once in a while, I'm required to travel to different boothes and sell flowers in another part of the Planet. I think it has something to do with Mother wanting me to see a bit of the world before I die, or something like that. This week sees the brand new opening of Mother's Midgar booth. I've been stationed here, bound to this tiny little booth. Making small talk with the city folk, trying to offload Mother's stomach churningly beautiful flowers onto them. (hangs his head again) I feel so humiliated just standing here. (looks up, frowning) You people breathe a word of this to anyone, and I'll kill you! If the big shots ever hear of this, I'm finished. I can kiss goodbye to my career as a super villain.
Aeris: (still hiding behind Cloud) It's... okay, Mr. Sephiroth. We won't tell anyone.
Cloud: Aeris?!
Aeris: What?
Sephiroth: Look, I'm a busy man. And the longer I stand here, gawking, the more chance there is of someone I know seeing me. Now, do you want to buy some flowers or not?
Aeris: We'll... We'll take a bunch of those blue ones. P...Pay the man, Cloud.
Cloud: What? What's the matter, Aeris? I thought-
Aeris: Just pay him, Cloud, please!
Cloud: (sighs) All right. (takes out some money and hands it to Sephiroth)
Sephiroth: (gives Cloud some bluebells) Pleasure doing business with you, is what I would say, if it had had been a pleasure. Though, I can't help but feel it wasn't very nice for any of us. (disappears back inside the booth)
Cloud: Aeris?! What the hell was that?!
Aeris: Cloud, let's just leave. Now.
Cloud: But I thought you wanted to "kick some serious butt."
Aeris: I value my life too much to take on Sephiroth in a battle to the death. Let's just go home.
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the basement. Aeris is sitting on the couch. Cloud is pacing back and forth, angry.)
Cloud: But I don't get it, Aeris! You're just going to let him walk all over you and put you out of business?
Aeris: I'm sure it won't come to that. Besides, I have other options I can pursue. Flower selling isn't everything, and it's certainly not the only thing I can do. I'm sure I could get any kind of job I wanted; I did go to college and get several qualifications, after all. And Mr. Kwanza said if I wanted to have my old job back at the strip club, then he'd take me back, no questions asked.
Cloud: You love selling flowers, though. It's what you do best.
Aeris: Maybe. But it's not worth getting killed for.
Cloud: Killed? You mean that whole threat thing? Come on, Aeris. You know Sephiroth better than that. He's just bluffing.
Aeris: Bluffing?! (unbuttons the top of her dress and shows Cloud her scarred stomach) Need I remind you who did this to me?!
Cloud: Aeris, that was a long time ago.
Aeris: (buttons her dress up) Not to me it wasn't. I think about that incident every single day, Cloud. Except on Sunday, then it's just God, God, God. Cloud, I'm... I'm scared of Sephiroth, and... and I'm not going to risk angering him by kicking up a fuss about this whole flower situation.
Cloud: I can understand that, Aeris, but you can't let Sephiroth bully you like this forever. You have to stand up to him.
Aeris: And do what? I can't fight him.
Cloud: Not physically, no. But there are other ways you can beat him.
Aeris: How?
Cloud: ...I've got it!
Aeris: Oh, boy. I smell trouble. (Red XIII walks in) Oh, no, it's just Red.
(Cut to the set of "Questions, Questions and More Questions!", a gameshow. Aeris, Sephiroth, Mukki, and Zangan are all contestants.)
Host: All right, here's the situation at the end of the game, folks. Our biggest loser today with an embarrassingly low score of two points, Mukki.
Mukki: I answered every question right! You're just homophobic!
Host: In second place with three hundred and six points, Aeris Gainsborough. (Aeris smiles at the camera, nervously) But today's winner with a whopping eight thousand, four hundred and fifty-five points, Sephiroth. Congratulations, Sephiroth. You've won an exciting weekend for three at the Ghost Hotel, Gold Saucer.
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the basement. Aeris and Cloud are both sitting on the couch, depressed.)
Cloud: All right, all right, that didn't exactly go as we had hoped. But hey, at least second prize was pretty cool.
Aeris: ...if you call a year's supply of toilet paper "cool" then, sure, wow.
Cloud: And Sephiroth's come out of this looking even better than ever. Talk about a good idea going horribly wrong.
Aeris: (gets up) Thanks for trying to help, Cloud, but honestly, it's not necessary. I'll deal with this in my own time, in my own way.
Cloud: Meaning you'll do nothing.
Aeris: Whatever I choose to do, is my business. Speaking of business, I'd better get back to mine. Those flowers won't sell themselves... unlike Sephiroth's.
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. The flowers on the booth are talking.)
Flower #1: We're excellent value!
Flower #2: We're the best there is!
Flower #3: Buy us! Buy us! Buy us!
Aeris: (standing across the street, frowning) Stupid talking flowers! (sighs) This bites!
Man: (talking to Sephiroth) What do you mean you don't have any spongeblossoms?
Sephiroth: Like I said, I don't have any spongeblossoms.
Man: But you must have! I need a bouquet of spongeblossoms and I need 'em now!
Sephiroth: Are you deaf or just ignorant? I told you, I do not have any spongeblossoms!
Man: Then could you please point me in the direction of someone who does?
Sephiroth: No. (disappears)
Man: Dammit!
Aeris: (walks over to him) Excuse me?
Man: What?!
Aeris: Um, I couldn't help overhearing. You're looking for someone else in the neighbourhood who sells flowers? Well, here I am.
Man: You sell flowers??
Aeris: Yes. All sorts of different kinds.
Man: Do you have any spongeblossoms?
Aeris: I'm afraid not. But I do have some white lilies. They signify death, I know, but who's to say death isn't actually an exotic paradise, better even than life?
Man: I don't want lilies! I want spongeblossoms! They have to be spongeblossoms!
Aeris: What's the big deal with spongeblossoms? You have some kind of fetish with them?
Man: My wife specifically told me to get her some spongeblossoms for her sick mother this morning. I must have them. Nothing else'll do.
Aeris: Ah, well, we don't really get that much of a demand for spongeblossoms. You see, spongeblossoms are cold-blooded plants, and only grow in and around the Gaea Cliffs. Most flower merchants don't pick them because there's such a high risk of death up in those mountains, what with all the scary monsters and the blizzards. Therefore, people don't tend to really want them.
Man: Well I want them! Those flowers are more than my life's worth!
Aeris: ...how about some chrysanthemums?
Man: Please, I'm desperate here. I need those flowers.
Aeris: Sir, I...
Man: Here's the deal: I'll give you (pulls some money from his wallet) a thousand gil if you can get me some of them flowers by the end of the day.
Aeris: A thousand gil?!
Sephiroth: (appears in his booth) Hello! Do I smell money?!
Man: (to Aeris) Here it is. A thousand gil. And to earn it, all you have to do is bring me a bunch of spongeblossoms.
Sephiroth: Sir, I don't think we understood each other last time. Please, allow me to-
Aeris: Back off, Sephiroth!! (realises what she's said and quickly covers her mouth)
Sephiroth: (gasps) Excuse me?!
Aeris: I...
Sephiroth: (walks out of his booth, holding his sword) Would you mind terribly repeating that last remark?!
Aeris: No. I won't be bullied by you, Sephiroth. And I'm... going to get those spongeblossoms.
Sephiroth: Really?
Aeris: Yes! (to the man) Don't worry, sir, I'll get you your flowers. You can count on me.
Man: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Sephiroth: (puts his sword to Aeris's throat) Not so fast!
Aeris: Urk!
Sephiroth: No, wait a minute. It'd be too easy to simply slit that little throat of yours and retrieve those rare flowers myself, thus lining my pockets with silver. (puts his sword away) Instead, I propose a challenge.
Aeris: A challenge?
Sephiroth: Yes. The first person to return here with the flowers gets to collect all the profits.
Aeris: What??
Sephiroth: (to the man) I trust that is all right with you?
Man: To be frank, I don't care who brings 'em back! I just want those damn things!
Sephiroth: Very well. Then it is decided.
Aeris: Wait, I didn't agree to this. I'm going to get those flowers alone; I'm not racing you.
Sephiroth: As you wish. Then I shall simply race you. And believe me, I'm much faster than you.
Aeris: All right, Mr. Challenger! I accept! First one to return with the flowers, wins!
Sephiroth: Excellent.
Man: Have you two quite finished?
Sephiroth: Indeed.
Man: THEN HOW'S ABOUT GETTING YOUR ASSES IN GEAR AND FINDING ME THOSE FREAKIN' FLOWERS?!
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the bar. Cloud is sitting at the bar, drinking. Aeris runs in.)
Aeris: Cloud! Cloud! You've gotta help me!
Cloud: What's wrong?
Aeris: (takes Cloud's hand and pulls him up) Follow me! I'll explain on the way!
(Cut to the Gaea Cliffs, a cave. Cloud and Aeris walk in.)
Cloud: I can't believe I'm doing this. It's freezing up here. I should be at home now with my feet up in front of the TV, watching "Midgar's Funniest Home Videos" with a bucket of popcorn and a beer.
Aeris: Quit complaining, Cloud. You've done nothing but moan ever since we got up here.
Cloud: I can't feel my toes anymore. If we don't find those flowers soon, then I'm going back.
Aeris: They shouldn't be too far now. Come on, we're almost to the summit. (she and Cloud walk through the cave, just missing falling icicles, swarms of vampire bats, a giant snowball, and a dragon's claw)
(Cut to the summit. It's snowing a little. Aeris crawls out of the cave, followed by Cloud. The spongeblossoms are directly in front of them.)
Aeris: (gasps) Cloud! There they are!
Cloud: (unenthusiastically) Hooray... (he and Aeris walk toward the flowers)
Aeris: Now, how many do you think we should take back with us?
Sephiroth: (swoops down from above) How's about zero?! (knocks Aeris backwards, causing her to fall over the edge of the clifftop)
Cloud: (runs to the edge, holding out his hand) Aeris!
Sephiroth: Ha ha ha! Looks like I won!
Cloud: (holding Aeris by the hand) Aeris, hold on!
Aeris: (struggling to keep hold) Ugh!
Cloud: (turns to face Sephiroth) Sephiroth! Give me a hand here!
Sephiroth: A hand...? Why on earth would I want to do that?
Cloud: Because Aeris is gonna fall if you don't help me pull her up!
Sephiroth: Good. This may have escaped your mind, but she and I are in competition with each other.
Cloud: For the sake of a few gil?! Aeris's life is worth more than that!
Sephiroth: Maybe to you, but if I were to have money, then I'd be able to quit the flower industry and live out a life of solitude.
Cloud: Quit the flower industry? But I thought the flower business was Jenova's...
Sephiroth: Mother's?! God forbid! She can't stand flowers! No. The flower business belongs to me. I started it after my second coming to earn enough money for my retirement. That whole "Mother" thing was just a cover-up to hide my embarrassing secret. But guess what? That thousand gil just weighs the scale down in my favour. So no, I won't "help".
Cloud: You bastard! You selfish bastard!
Sephiroth: That doesn't sound right. Might I suggest "wealthy bastard" instead. That sounds a lot better. Yes, wealthy bastard. I rather like that.
Aeris: Cloud, I... I can't hold on much longer!
Cloud: Don't worry, Aeris! I won't let go! (starts to slide forward) Ah!
Aeris: Whoa!
Cloud: Ugh!
Sephiroth: I say, that doesn't look too good. If I were you, I'd let the girl go.
Cloud: Unlike you, Sephiroth, I care about Aeris! (slides forward a little) I'd rather go off the edge with her, than let her fall to her death alone!
Sephiroth: You're an idiot. (checks his watch) Ooh! It's almost five o'clock! Well, I have a customer waiting. Ta! (flies off)
Aeris: Cloud! You have to let me go!
Cloud: No! I won't!
Aeris: You have to! Otherwise... You'll fall too!
Cloud: Aeris... (slides forward)
Aeris: Cloud, please. (sheds a tear) It's... It's for the best. (Cloud begins to see sense, but all of a sudden, the Highwind appears behind him)
Tifa: (through a speaker, inside the airship) Cloud! Aeris!
Cloud: (turns his head to face the Highwind) Tifa?!
(Cut to the Highwind, the cockpit. Cid is piloting the airship. Cloud, Tifa and Aeris are standing by the window.)
Cloud: How did you know where to find us?
Tifa: Well, actually...
Man: (from Midgar, steps forward) Hi.
Aeris: You!
Tifa: We found him in the Sector 5 Slums, waiting by Sephiroth's flower booth. He told us all about the spongeblossoms.
Aeris: The spongeblossoms? Oh, I'm sorry. We couldn't get them. Sephiroth, he...
Man: It's all right. The spongeblossoms don't matter. All that matters, is that you're both safe.
Aeris: I guess...
Cloud: I still can't believe Sephiroth did that. We have to get him back somehow.
Aeris: It doesn't matter, Cloud. Let's just be thankful we escaped with our lives.
Cloud: Dammit, Aeris, he tried to kill you. He tried to kill us. We can't let him get away with attempted murder... again. I would've thought that you'd at least want to make him pay for what he put us through up there on that cliff, for what he put YOU through.
Aeris: You're right. I would like to teach him a lesson. But what can we do? We've tried dealing with him before and it didn't work. What else is there to do?
Cloud: ...ah ha! I know how we can get to him! It's so simple!
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. Cloud is walking down the street with the Turks - Reno, Rude and Elena.)
Cloud: I'm telling ya, guys, this booth has everything. You want flowers, eh, forget about it.
Reno: It'd better be as good as you say it is, Strife. If we don't shower the President with flowers for his birthday, then we can kiss our asses goodbye.
Cloud: Guys, relax. (rings the bell and Sephiroth appears)
Sephiroth: It's about time! I've been waiting here with these stupid spongeblossoms forever! I--oh, God! The Turks!
Reno: Sephiroth??
Rude: Sephiroth?? Sellin' flowers?
Sephiroth: This isn't how it looks! I... I...
Elena: Oh, man! Wait until the bozos at the Super Villains' Society hear about this!
Sephiroth: No! No! You can't tell them! I'll be finished!
Elena: What's it worth to us?
Sephiroth: Um...
Reno: Yeah. What's it worth, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: How about...? Um, a flower. Yes? You may each have a flower of your choice.
Rude: ...
Reno: I agree. We want the takings.
Sephiroth: You can't! Without money, I'll have to shut this place down! Then I'll never make enough dough to retire young!
Reno: It's either that or...
Sephiroth: All right, all right! Fine! (gives them the contents of the safe) Take it, take it all! Just please, don't tell the guys upstairs!
Reno: Thanks, Sephiroth. This'll come in handy. Come on, guys. Let's go drink ourselves into an early grave. Ooh, almost forgot. (grabs the spongeblossoms) We'll take these as well. (he and the Turks walk off)
Sephiroth: Dammit! Now I'm ruined!
Cloud: Serves you right, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: This was all your doing!
Cloud: Yep.
Sephiroth: (frowning) Driving me out of business was a big mistake, Cloud. You'll live to regret this, I swear.
Cloud: I doubt it. (Sephiroth walks off, grumbling)
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the following day. Cloud and Aeris are standing on the street corner. Aeris is holding her flower basket.)
Aeris: Thanks a lot for bankrupting Sephiroth for me, Cloud. You're a real pal. I just wish I could've done more to deal with Sephiroth myself.
Cloud: It's okay, Aeris. You challenged Sephiroth to a race across the world. That must've taken guts in itself.
Aeris: Yeah, I think I died on that mountain that day.
Cloud: Me too.
Aeris: No, I mean, I think I really died. I can't understand why I'm still here.
Cloud: Well, I don't know either. (quickly and quietly) End this NOW!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END__________
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The Two Flowers
(Open to a beach, a stage. A banner reading: "Beauty Contest" is hanging over the stage. Many female Final Fantasy characters are standing on the stage, wearing tight bikinis, including: Celes (from FFVI, in all her pixel-created glory), Rinoa, Selphie (from FFVIII), Dagger (from FFIX), Lulu, Rikku (from FFX), Kairi (from Kingdom Hearts), and a chick from Vana'diel (of FFXI). Aeris is also among the group of hotties.)
Headmaster Cid: ...and the winner of the 3rd Annual Sexiest Women of Role Playing Beauty Contest is... Rikku!
Rikku: Oh, my gosh! I won!
Aeris: Oh, for God's sakes! (casts Bolt 3, shocking Rikku)
Rikku: Urk... (falls backwards)
Headmaster Cid: Oh. All right then, seeing as how our winner has been... struck by lightening, then it is this judge's decision to re-crown our runner-up, Aeris, as the overall winner!
Aeris: Oh, my gosh! I won!
Headmaster Cid: That's right, Aeris. You've been declared the world's sexiest female RPG character by your loyal fans.
Aeris: Thank you, everyone! Thank you all so much! This... This is the happiest day of my afterlife! I want to thank everyone who voted for me. I want to thank my mom, my friends, my dead chocobo, and my little pet mu, who I keep hidden in a box under my bed. I also want to thank you, Cid, for pulling some strings and allowing me to come second place. (kisses him on the cheek) You're the best!
Headmaster Cid: Aeris, please, this isn't keeping it quiet.
Aeris: Isn't he great, girls?
Cid: (runs onstage) All right, I've had enough of this! You there! Four eyes!
Headmaster Cid: What??
Aeris: Cid? What're you doing here? This is my imaginary dream sequence! You can't come in here, waltzing around like this!
Cid: Can, and will. (punches Headmaster Cid in the face)
Headmaster Cid: Ow! (rubs his cheek)
Aeris: Cid!
Headmaster Cid: What the hell was that for?!
Cid: That's for giving Final Fantasy Cid's everywhere a bad name! (punches him again)
Headmaster Cid: Ow!
Cid: And that's for being a freakin' geek!
Aeris: (holding Cid back) Cid, please! You've hurt him enough!
Cid: (frowning) Ehh... all right. (to Headmaster Cid) You've been lucky this time, buddy. But here's some friendly advice: sleep with both eyes open.
Headmaster Cid: Wouldn't that suggest I shouldn't sleep at all?
Cid: (breaks through Aeris) All right, ya smart ass! (starts beating the crap out of Headmaster Cid)
Aeris: Cid! Cid!! Oh, to heck with this! (to Cid, who's still hitting Headmaster Cid) Thanks for ruining my fantasy! (walks offstage)
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums. Aeris is standing on a street corner, day dreaming. She's holding her flower basket.)
Aeris: It comes to something when you can't even day dream without interruptions. My gosh, business is slow nowadays...
Palmer: (jiggling back and forth) Hey, hey!
Aeris: Oh, hello. Can I help you, sir?
Palmer: Yes, siree! I wanna buy some flowers for my sweet heart! Whatcha got for me?
Aeris: We have an extensive range of colourful roses, bed-wetting daffodils, beautiful tulips, and flamboyant pansies.
Palmer: I'll take a bunch of roses then. (gets out his wallet)
Aeris: Certainly, I can have them delivered to you in around six to eight weeks.
Palmer: (with his hand in his wallet) 'Scuse me?
Aeris: (hands Palmer a form) If you'd like to sign along the dotted line, then I can process your order and have your flowers sent off to you, first class and free of charge, of course.
Palmer: But haven't you got any roses on you now? Like, in your basket?
Aeris: Oh, no. You don't understand. I don't bring any of the flowers with me. Do you realise how big a basket I'd have to use if I did? I keep the flowers at home, and then they're delivered by a friendly delivery boy I like to call "my personal bitch"... or Cloud, to his friends.
Palmer: I don't expect to wait all that time for a bunch of flowers! I might not even be seeing this girl in eight weeks!
Aeris: I can try and get them delivered in under two weeks, seeing as how you're desperate, but I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to make any crazy promises here.
Palmer: Forget the whole thing! I'll take my business elsewhere!
Aeris: Yeah? You think it'll be as easy as that to come across another flower merchant in this trashhole of a town?
Palmer: Sure. There's another vendor right across the street. (he points to a flower covered booth on the other side of the street)
Aeris: Ohh! So THAT'S the reason I've had nobody buying anything these last few weeks!
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the bar. Cloud, Tifa and Cid are all standing at the bar.)
Cid: ...so then he said, "If you expect to see that treasure ever again, then you'd better bring a shovel." And then he kicked him in the head.
Tifa: Wow! That sounds like a pretty exciting story, Cid!
Cid: Yeah, I saw it on TV last night. I thought it was great, too.
Tifa: And there was I thinking you'd actually DONE something just recently...
Cid: Oh, I've been busy too, y'know.
Cloud: With what? Oh, don't tell us. Another stupid airplane or rocket ship, right?
Cid: No. As a matter of fact, I've been busy makin' plans for a wedding.
Cloud: A wedding?
Tifa: Oh, Cid! You and Shera are... getting married?!
Cid: Huh? Hell no! You think I'd marry that freakish tart?!
Cloud: Then who's getting married?
Cid: That idiot Shera!
Tifa: ...to whom?
Cid: I wanted the hussy outta the house, so I went on the Internet and signed her up as one of those... Internet bride thingies.
Tifa: You didn't?!
Cid: Uh huh. True as the plain of my nose its end.
Cloud: You set--what?!
Cid: You heard me, numbskull.
Cloud: You set up Shera as an Internet bride?!
Tifa: Are you mentally unstable, Cid? Do you know what that would do to poor Shera?
Cid: Yeah, I thought it through. It'd get her a husband. Yeah, and then she'd move outta my place and I'd have the house to myself again.
Cloud: But wouldn't you miss her?
Cid: Well, the rent came in handy, but... no, not really. Can't think of a reason I would.
Tifa: You're disgustingly sick, Cid. (Aeris walks in) Oh, hi, Aeris. Sell any flowers today?
Aeris: No.
Tifa: Meaning you didn't make any money, either. Aeris, I'm sorry to have to bug you like this, but you're six weeks behind on the rent. If you don't cough up the cash soon, then I'm going to have to rethink your living arrangements.
Cid: You could always put her up as an Internet bride!
Tifa: Not helping, Cid.
Aeris: It's not that simple, Tifa. Selling flowers used to be about selling flowers, but now it's about more than that. It's about having the best flowers to sell, and beating out the competition.
Cloud: Come again?
Aeris: Another flower merchant's opened up a booth across the street from me. They're taking all my profits.
Tifa: Can't you just move further down the street?
Aeris: I've been at that spot for almost five years. If anyone should move, it's them.
Tifa: So... who's "them" exactly?
Aeris: I don't know who they are. I was so angry, I couldn't even think about confronting them. The only thing I could contemplate doing was coming back here to cool down. And now that I'm here, I'm seriously considering going back down there and kicking some serious butt.
Cloud: Whoa! Calm down, Aeris.
Tifa: Do you want me to come with you for morale support?
Aeris: Yes, please!
Tifa: Well, I can't. I've got to watch the bar. Cloud, Cid, go with her.
Cloud & Cid: Awww!
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. Aeris, Cloud and Cid look through the front for signs of life.)
Aeris: Hello? Anyone in?
Cid: Man, check out all the neat flowers. You don't have anythin' as good as these, Aeris.
Aeris: Yeah, there's no need to rub it in, Cid. I'm jealous enough as it is.
Cloud: Hey, look at this. (he points at a bell which has a card beside it reading: "Ring for Assistance") You know what to do, Aeris. (Aeris rings the bell and he turns to Cid) I meant she should've stolen the bell.
Cid: Women, eh?! Is it any wonder I want Shera outta my house?
Aeris: What's that about Shera?
Sephiroth: (pops up behind the booth) Yes? Can I help--ah! You!
Cloud: Oh my God! It's Sephiroth! It's that insane dude who tried to destroy the Planet!
Sephiroth: ...the very same. I suppose you want to buy some flowers.
Aeris: You! You set up this booth?
Sephiroth: Yes. And am I to take it there is a problem with that, girl whom I stabbed once?
Aeris: (quickly hides behind Cloud) No! No problem, Mr. Sephiroth, sir! (quietly) Kick his ass, Cloud! Kick his ass!
Cloud: Wait a minute... (frowning) Aren't you supposed to dead, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: (referring to Aeris) Isn't she?
Cloud: Point taken. Now, what the hell's going on? You can't set up this booth here. You're taking all of Aeris's customers.
Cid: Yeah. Plus men shouldn't really be sellin' flowers, man. That's a woman's job. You're a disgrace to your gender.
Sephiroth: Oh, and don't I know it. (sighs and hangs his head)
Cloud: ...Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: I didn't want to do this, you know. I had other plans. Plans involving world domination and... and my own brand of over-priced aftershave. This was all Mother's doing.
Cloud: Your Mother? Jenova?
Sephiroth: Yes. You see, my dear friends and girl whom I stabbed once- (Aeris grits her teeth, terrified) -Mother's been in this business for years. She owns a chain of boothes in every town and city the world over, each run by myself and a number of my slightly less-handsome clones on a rotary basis. Every once in a while, I'm required to travel to different boothes and sell flowers in another part of the Planet. I think it has something to do with Mother wanting me to see a bit of the world before I die, or something like that. This week sees the brand new opening of Mother's Midgar booth. I've been stationed here, bound to this tiny little booth. Making small talk with the city folk, trying to offload Mother's stomach churningly beautiful flowers onto them. (hangs his head again) I feel so humiliated just standing here. (looks up, frowning) You people breathe a word of this to anyone, and I'll kill you! If the big shots ever hear of this, I'm finished. I can kiss goodbye to my career as a super villain.
Aeris: (still hiding behind Cloud) It's... okay, Mr. Sephiroth. We won't tell anyone.
Cloud: Aeris?!
Aeris: What?
Sephiroth: Look, I'm a busy man. And the longer I stand here, gawking, the more chance there is of someone I know seeing me. Now, do you want to buy some flowers or not?
Aeris: We'll... We'll take a bunch of those blue ones. P...Pay the man, Cloud.
Cloud: What? What's the matter, Aeris? I thought-
Aeris: Just pay him, Cloud, please!
Cloud: (sighs) All right. (takes out some money and hands it to Sephiroth)
Sephiroth: (gives Cloud some bluebells) Pleasure doing business with you, is what I would say, if it had had been a pleasure. Though, I can't help but feel it wasn't very nice for any of us. (disappears back inside the booth)
Cloud: Aeris?! What the hell was that?!
Aeris: Cloud, let's just leave. Now.
Cloud: But I thought you wanted to "kick some serious butt."
Aeris: I value my life too much to take on Sephiroth in a battle to the death. Let's just go home.
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the basement. Aeris is sitting on the couch. Cloud is pacing back and forth, angry.)
Cloud: But I don't get it, Aeris! You're just going to let him walk all over you and put you out of business?
Aeris: I'm sure it won't come to that. Besides, I have other options I can pursue. Flower selling isn't everything, and it's certainly not the only thing I can do. I'm sure I could get any kind of job I wanted; I did go to college and get several qualifications, after all. And Mr. Kwanza said if I wanted to have my old job back at the strip club, then he'd take me back, no questions asked.
Cloud: You love selling flowers, though. It's what you do best.
Aeris: Maybe. But it's not worth getting killed for.
Cloud: Killed? You mean that whole threat thing? Come on, Aeris. You know Sephiroth better than that. He's just bluffing.
Aeris: Bluffing?! (unbuttons the top of her dress and shows Cloud her scarred stomach) Need I remind you who did this to me?!
Cloud: Aeris, that was a long time ago.
Aeris: (buttons her dress up) Not to me it wasn't. I think about that incident every single day, Cloud. Except on Sunday, then it's just God, God, God. Cloud, I'm... I'm scared of Sephiroth, and... and I'm not going to risk angering him by kicking up a fuss about this whole flower situation.
Cloud: I can understand that, Aeris, but you can't let Sephiroth bully you like this forever. You have to stand up to him.
Aeris: And do what? I can't fight him.
Cloud: Not physically, no. But there are other ways you can beat him.
Aeris: How?
Cloud: ...I've got it!
Aeris: Oh, boy. I smell trouble. (Red XIII walks in) Oh, no, it's just Red.
(Cut to the set of "Questions, Questions and More Questions!", a gameshow. Aeris, Sephiroth, Mukki, and Zangan are all contestants.)
Host: All right, here's the situation at the end of the game, folks. Our biggest loser today with an embarrassingly low score of two points, Mukki.
Mukki: I answered every question right! You're just homophobic!
Host: In second place with three hundred and six points, Aeris Gainsborough. (Aeris smiles at the camera, nervously) But today's winner with a whopping eight thousand, four hundred and fifty-five points, Sephiroth. Congratulations, Sephiroth. You've won an exciting weekend for three at the Ghost Hotel, Gold Saucer.
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the basement. Aeris and Cloud are both sitting on the couch, depressed.)
Cloud: All right, all right, that didn't exactly go as we had hoped. But hey, at least second prize was pretty cool.
Aeris: ...if you call a year's supply of toilet paper "cool" then, sure, wow.
Cloud: And Sephiroth's come out of this looking even better than ever. Talk about a good idea going horribly wrong.
Aeris: (gets up) Thanks for trying to help, Cloud, but honestly, it's not necessary. I'll deal with this in my own time, in my own way.
Cloud: Meaning you'll do nothing.
Aeris: Whatever I choose to do, is my business. Speaking of business, I'd better get back to mine. Those flowers won't sell themselves... unlike Sephiroth's.
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. The flowers on the booth are talking.)
Flower #1: We're excellent value!
Flower #2: We're the best there is!
Flower #3: Buy us! Buy us! Buy us!
Aeris: (standing across the street, frowning) Stupid talking flowers! (sighs) This bites!
Man: (talking to Sephiroth) What do you mean you don't have any spongeblossoms?
Sephiroth: Like I said, I don't have any spongeblossoms.
Man: But you must have! I need a bouquet of spongeblossoms and I need 'em now!
Sephiroth: Are you deaf or just ignorant? I told you, I do not have any spongeblossoms!
Man: Then could you please point me in the direction of someone who does?
Sephiroth: No. (disappears)
Man: Dammit!
Aeris: (walks over to him) Excuse me?
Man: What?!
Aeris: Um, I couldn't help overhearing. You're looking for someone else in the neighbourhood who sells flowers? Well, here I am.
Man: You sell flowers??
Aeris: Yes. All sorts of different kinds.
Man: Do you have any spongeblossoms?
Aeris: I'm afraid not. But I do have some white lilies. They signify death, I know, but who's to say death isn't actually an exotic paradise, better even than life?
Man: I don't want lilies! I want spongeblossoms! They have to be spongeblossoms!
Aeris: What's the big deal with spongeblossoms? You have some kind of fetish with them?
Man: My wife specifically told me to get her some spongeblossoms for her sick mother this morning. I must have them. Nothing else'll do.
Aeris: Ah, well, we don't really get that much of a demand for spongeblossoms. You see, spongeblossoms are cold-blooded plants, and only grow in and around the Gaea Cliffs. Most flower merchants don't pick them because there's such a high risk of death up in those mountains, what with all the scary monsters and the blizzards. Therefore, people don't tend to really want them.
Man: Well I want them! Those flowers are more than my life's worth!
Aeris: ...how about some chrysanthemums?
Man: Please, I'm desperate here. I need those flowers.
Aeris: Sir, I...
Man: Here's the deal: I'll give you (pulls some money from his wallet) a thousand gil if you can get me some of them flowers by the end of the day.
Aeris: A thousand gil?!
Sephiroth: (appears in his booth) Hello! Do I smell money?!
Man: (to Aeris) Here it is. A thousand gil. And to earn it, all you have to do is bring me a bunch of spongeblossoms.
Sephiroth: Sir, I don't think we understood each other last time. Please, allow me to-
Aeris: Back off, Sephiroth!! (realises what she's said and quickly covers her mouth)
Sephiroth: (gasps) Excuse me?!
Aeris: I...
Sephiroth: (walks out of his booth, holding his sword) Would you mind terribly repeating that last remark?!
Aeris: No. I won't be bullied by you, Sephiroth. And I'm... going to get those spongeblossoms.
Sephiroth: Really?
Aeris: Yes! (to the man) Don't worry, sir, I'll get you your flowers. You can count on me.
Man: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Sephiroth: (puts his sword to Aeris's throat) Not so fast!
Aeris: Urk!
Sephiroth: No, wait a minute. It'd be too easy to simply slit that little throat of yours and retrieve those rare flowers myself, thus lining my pockets with silver. (puts his sword away) Instead, I propose a challenge.
Aeris: A challenge?
Sephiroth: Yes. The first person to return here with the flowers gets to collect all the profits.
Aeris: What??
Sephiroth: (to the man) I trust that is all right with you?
Man: To be frank, I don't care who brings 'em back! I just want those damn things!
Sephiroth: Very well. Then it is decided.
Aeris: Wait, I didn't agree to this. I'm going to get those flowers alone; I'm not racing you.
Sephiroth: As you wish. Then I shall simply race you. And believe me, I'm much faster than you.
Aeris: All right, Mr. Challenger! I accept! First one to return with the flowers, wins!
Sephiroth: Excellent.
Man: Have you two quite finished?
Sephiroth: Indeed.
Man: THEN HOW'S ABOUT GETTING YOUR ASSES IN GEAR AND FINDING ME THOSE FREAKIN' FLOWERS?!
(Cut to 7th Heaven, the bar. Cloud is sitting at the bar, drinking. Aeris runs in.)
Aeris: Cloud! Cloud! You've gotta help me!
Cloud: What's wrong?
Aeris: (takes Cloud's hand and pulls him up) Follow me! I'll explain on the way!
(Cut to the Gaea Cliffs, a cave. Cloud and Aeris walk in.)
Cloud: I can't believe I'm doing this. It's freezing up here. I should be at home now with my feet up in front of the TV, watching "Midgar's Funniest Home Videos" with a bucket of popcorn and a beer.
Aeris: Quit complaining, Cloud. You've done nothing but moan ever since we got up here.
Cloud: I can't feel my toes anymore. If we don't find those flowers soon, then I'm going back.
Aeris: They shouldn't be too far now. Come on, we're almost to the summit. (she and Cloud walk through the cave, just missing falling icicles, swarms of vampire bats, a giant snowball, and a dragon's claw)
(Cut to the summit. It's snowing a little. Aeris crawls out of the cave, followed by Cloud. The spongeblossoms are directly in front of them.)
Aeris: (gasps) Cloud! There they are!
Cloud: (unenthusiastically) Hooray... (he and Aeris walk toward the flowers)
Aeris: Now, how many do you think we should take back with us?
Sephiroth: (swoops down from above) How's about zero?! (knocks Aeris backwards, causing her to fall over the edge of the clifftop)
Cloud: (runs to the edge, holding out his hand) Aeris!
Sephiroth: Ha ha ha! Looks like I won!
Cloud: (holding Aeris by the hand) Aeris, hold on!
Aeris: (struggling to keep hold) Ugh!
Cloud: (turns to face Sephiroth) Sephiroth! Give me a hand here!
Sephiroth: A hand...? Why on earth would I want to do that?
Cloud: Because Aeris is gonna fall if you don't help me pull her up!
Sephiroth: Good. This may have escaped your mind, but she and I are in competition with each other.
Cloud: For the sake of a few gil?! Aeris's life is worth more than that!
Sephiroth: Maybe to you, but if I were to have money, then I'd be able to quit the flower industry and live out a life of solitude.
Cloud: Quit the flower industry? But I thought the flower business was Jenova's...
Sephiroth: Mother's?! God forbid! She can't stand flowers! No. The flower business belongs to me. I started it after my second coming to earn enough money for my retirement. That whole "Mother" thing was just a cover-up to hide my embarrassing secret. But guess what? That thousand gil just weighs the scale down in my favour. So no, I won't "help".
Cloud: You bastard! You selfish bastard!
Sephiroth: That doesn't sound right. Might I suggest "wealthy bastard" instead. That sounds a lot better. Yes, wealthy bastard. I rather like that.
Aeris: Cloud, I... I can't hold on much longer!
Cloud: Don't worry, Aeris! I won't let go! (starts to slide forward) Ah!
Aeris: Whoa!
Cloud: Ugh!
Sephiroth: I say, that doesn't look too good. If I were you, I'd let the girl go.
Cloud: Unlike you, Sephiroth, I care about Aeris! (slides forward a little) I'd rather go off the edge with her, than let her fall to her death alone!
Sephiroth: You're an idiot. (checks his watch) Ooh! It's almost five o'clock! Well, I have a customer waiting. Ta! (flies off)
Aeris: Cloud! You have to let me go!
Cloud: No! I won't!
Aeris: You have to! Otherwise... You'll fall too!
Cloud: Aeris... (slides forward)
Aeris: Cloud, please. (sheds a tear) It's... It's for the best. (Cloud begins to see sense, but all of a sudden, the Highwind appears behind him)
Tifa: (through a speaker, inside the airship) Cloud! Aeris!
Cloud: (turns his head to face the Highwind) Tifa?!
(Cut to the Highwind, the cockpit. Cid is piloting the airship. Cloud, Tifa and Aeris are standing by the window.)
Cloud: How did you know where to find us?
Tifa: Well, actually...
Man: (from Midgar, steps forward) Hi.
Aeris: You!
Tifa: We found him in the Sector 5 Slums, waiting by Sephiroth's flower booth. He told us all about the spongeblossoms.
Aeris: The spongeblossoms? Oh, I'm sorry. We couldn't get them. Sephiroth, he...
Man: It's all right. The spongeblossoms don't matter. All that matters, is that you're both safe.
Aeris: I guess...
Cloud: I still can't believe Sephiroth did that. We have to get him back somehow.
Aeris: It doesn't matter, Cloud. Let's just be thankful we escaped with our lives.
Cloud: Dammit, Aeris, he tried to kill you. He tried to kill us. We can't let him get away with attempted murder... again. I would've thought that you'd at least want to make him pay for what he put us through up there on that cliff, for what he put YOU through.
Aeris: You're right. I would like to teach him a lesson. But what can we do? We've tried dealing with him before and it didn't work. What else is there to do?
Cloud: ...ah ha! I know how we can get to him! It's so simple!
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the flower booth. Cloud is walking down the street with the Turks - Reno, Rude and Elena.)
Cloud: I'm telling ya, guys, this booth has everything. You want flowers, eh, forget about it.
Reno: It'd better be as good as you say it is, Strife. If we don't shower the President with flowers for his birthday, then we can kiss our asses goodbye.
Cloud: Guys, relax. (rings the bell and Sephiroth appears)
Sephiroth: It's about time! I've been waiting here with these stupid spongeblossoms forever! I--oh, God! The Turks!
Reno: Sephiroth??
Rude: Sephiroth?? Sellin' flowers?
Sephiroth: This isn't how it looks! I... I...
Elena: Oh, man! Wait until the bozos at the Super Villains' Society hear about this!
Sephiroth: No! No! You can't tell them! I'll be finished!
Elena: What's it worth to us?
Sephiroth: Um...
Reno: Yeah. What's it worth, Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: How about...? Um, a flower. Yes? You may each have a flower of your choice.
Rude: ...
Reno: I agree. We want the takings.
Sephiroth: You can't! Without money, I'll have to shut this place down! Then I'll never make enough dough to retire young!
Reno: It's either that or...
Sephiroth: All right, all right! Fine! (gives them the contents of the safe) Take it, take it all! Just please, don't tell the guys upstairs!
Reno: Thanks, Sephiroth. This'll come in handy. Come on, guys. Let's go drink ourselves into an early grave. Ooh, almost forgot. (grabs the spongeblossoms) We'll take these as well. (he and the Turks walk off)
Sephiroth: Dammit! Now I'm ruined!
Cloud: Serves you right, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: This was all your doing!
Cloud: Yep.
Sephiroth: (frowning) Driving me out of business was a big mistake, Cloud. You'll live to regret this, I swear.
Cloud: I doubt it. (Sephiroth walks off, grumbling)
(Cut to the Sector 5 Slums, the following day. Cloud and Aeris are standing on the street corner. Aeris is holding her flower basket.)
Aeris: Thanks a lot for bankrupting Sephiroth for me, Cloud. You're a real pal. I just wish I could've done more to deal with Sephiroth myself.
Cloud: It's okay, Aeris. You challenged Sephiroth to a race across the world. That must've taken guts in itself.
Aeris: Yeah, I think I died on that mountain that day.
Cloud: Me too.
Aeris: No, I mean, I think I really died. I can't understand why I'm still here.
Cloud: Well, I don't know either. (quickly and quietly) End this NOW!
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THE END__________
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