Chapter 6: Between life and death.
I open my eyes to find I'm in a black void, like in my dreams. There is no definite floor but I walk forward on seemingly solid ground. There's a door in the distance and a park bench a few paces behind me. I sit down and analyse my situation.
I notice that I'm not in any pain, not in the slightest bit!
I feel my back, there is unbroken skin there, there is not a mark on me including where I had injured my hand.
"Hello there, did you just arrive?" I look up to find a girl about my height, similar likeness dressed in all black and smiling face looking down at me.
"Ah, yeah I guess. Who are you?"
"My name is not important, but I know about you Selaeste." She replies back, her grin seems tireless.
"How did you know?" I ask, a bit taken back by all around me.
"Well, if you haven't realised deary, you're sort of dead."
"I'm dead?"
"No. Not fully dead, but just sort of." She takes out some sort of device and points it at me. "According to this meter, you have a 36% chance of living, more or less depending if you get a blood transfusion pretty soon. Your chances are pretty slim."
"So I have hen's teeth chance of living and all hope of dying. Just great!"
She takes hold of my shoulder and sits next to me, seeing me eye to eye. "Now, I didn't say you had no chance, I said you had a slim chance, there is a glimmer of hope if you wanted to go back and live again. If I were you, I'd die now on a high, you just saved a lot of people's lives by what you did. And looking back on your life, it didn't seem like you had a great one."
"How would you know?" I felt a pang on sadness hit my soul and ripple like water.
"Trust me, I know for sure, I have watched you since you were born."
I took a breath and blinked back the tears. The pointing to the door, I asked, "What's behind there?"
"Ah, nothing special. That's just the door to go back to your life, but it's locked at the moment."
"Is that supposed to emphasize my glimmer of hope? Because it is doing wonders for me!!!"
She got up, the smile had washed from her face. Taking my hand she guided me to the door, took out a normal looking house key and opened it.
"This is a window into what you're going through at the moment." She said with a sigh, it was like she didn't want to show me but had to.
I looked out, there was me!
I was strapped onto a stretcher, my hand elevated and being attended to by Ororo and the Prof.. Beside my stretcher was another one with Kurt in it, hooked up to tubes and bags of fluid, similar to me but much less equipment.
Jean walks over to Ororo. "Is there any chance she will-" She broke off suddenly, gazing at us both laying still.
"Well, Kurt is alright, he's had a lot beaten out of him but he mainly has a concussion. For Selaeste on the other hand, it doesn't look good. She's lost a lot of blood and unless we find a donor quickly…"
Jean steps closer to my body, placing a hand on my arm. "You came so suddenly and we all can't bear to lose you, but who are you?"
"Yes, it is strange that all we know is her name." The Prof. spun round in his chair and joined the conversation. "I tried to scan her thoughts but her mind is somewhat offline at the moment. She will be incredibly lucky to bounce back after such an ordeal."
The door is slammed in front of me. The girl stands in the way, locking the door and turns to face me.
"I think you've seen enough, now let's have some fun. Which memory would you like to see, may I recommend one from six years ago?"
I nod and in an instant, we're in a small cinema theatre and it is only us in the whole place. She runs up to the back right corner, I follow suit and sit in the seat next to her. The screen flashes a count down, then she explains that this film has the highlights and low times of my remembered childhood and onwards.
Looking to the screen, I see me getting off a school bus wearing a little red and white dress. I must have been getting home because I remember I would always take my shoes off in the bus before arriving home. There I was, running down the garden path and opening a screen door. Inside, I was greeted by a youngish looking man, David his name was. Tall, small build and glasses, kind of geeky looking but he was the closest concept I had of a father, as I remember it. He picks me up and plants me on the kitchen counter, presents me with a cookie and carries me off to the backyard where I run over to a rusty swinging chair. I'm sitting by myself and breaking my cookie into crumbs, feeding little birds that came into the yard.
Another scene was of me, probably at twelve years old, in a boat rowing with David , he was asleep in the corner and holding a fishing rod in one hand, a half empty bottle of liquor in the other. I didn't look very happy, as I'm trying to row with the boat weighed down in one end. The boat passes by on screen and followed with a shot of a trail of beer and liquor bottles behind the boat.
The next scene I remember quite clearly, I was a month away from my thirteenth birthday when I got angry with David. He had wasted a lot of money on booze and had lost his job. The bills were piling up and the money I tried to earn washing people's dogs and cars was not enough to pay it off. I was yelling at him while he sat in a torn up old arm chair, throwing the overdue letters in his face when he got up quickly and tried to hit with his bottle of beer. I anticipated that it would happen, so I made that noise I do and the glass smashes just missing my head. David is on the floor, staggering to get up and clenching the side of his head. He spoke the words that will ring in my ears for the rest of my life. "If you don't leave right now, then I'll make you! You're nothing but a burden to me, get out!"
I had to look away, for a new the next scene that followed only to well. When I had left, I got all my savings and bought a ticket to another town some hundred miles or more. It was then when I got into the routine of making the best of what I could find. My first home was in an abandoned warehouse on a shipping dock. I borrowed tarpaulin, rope, a tin opener and a blanket from some of the boats that sat idle in the docks. My first meal was a first taste of what I had to put up for the next few years, it was a tin of cold spaghetti and a stale dinner roll on the pass-out tray from the bakery.
After a week, I returned to my home to see what had become of David via jumping a train and walking through fields of wheat for hours. In all, it took me a day and a bit to get back home. The house didn't look like it was in good shape, the glass still smashed from the last time I was there and police tape strung around the premises. I scurried round the back of the house, the chair was still there but the locks on the doors had all been broken and doors almost off their hinges. Inside, the smell of gas from the stove was pungent and blood on the kitchen floor had dried in a brown puddled crust. I reminded myself constantly for a month afterwards, 'he wouldn't have done that if I were around'.
The girl interrupts my chain of thought. "I can see that this disturbs you, what would you like to do now?"
"Could I check on that door again, please?" I tried putting on a lighter expression.
"Sure."
We both get up and walk out into the middle aisle, the film still playing my past. Then we're back in the void as if we hadn't left it. The takes the key out, unlocks the door and opens it enough to view what's happening down below.
My body was in a hospital bed, lifeless and hooked up to all manner of machinery measuring vital signs. Both arms were hooked up tubes, one arm to a sack of clear liquid, the other hooked to a bag of blood. Beside me sat Logan and Kurt, both very focused on my motionless face. Kurt didn't look to bad considering the beating I had given him.
He turned to Logan with an uncomfortable face. "Do you think she vill come back to us?"
Logan remained unresponsive, instead getting up from his chair and leaving the room.
A.T.-She's in bad shape now, but Magneto does have a surprise waiting for her, later! It was a bit lengthy, but there's just a taste of Selaeste's past.
I open my eyes to find I'm in a black void, like in my dreams. There is no definite floor but I walk forward on seemingly solid ground. There's a door in the distance and a park bench a few paces behind me. I sit down and analyse my situation.
I notice that I'm not in any pain, not in the slightest bit!
I feel my back, there is unbroken skin there, there is not a mark on me including where I had injured my hand.
"Hello there, did you just arrive?" I look up to find a girl about my height, similar likeness dressed in all black and smiling face looking down at me.
"Ah, yeah I guess. Who are you?"
"My name is not important, but I know about you Selaeste." She replies back, her grin seems tireless.
"How did you know?" I ask, a bit taken back by all around me.
"Well, if you haven't realised deary, you're sort of dead."
"I'm dead?"
"No. Not fully dead, but just sort of." She takes out some sort of device and points it at me. "According to this meter, you have a 36% chance of living, more or less depending if you get a blood transfusion pretty soon. Your chances are pretty slim."
"So I have hen's teeth chance of living and all hope of dying. Just great!"
She takes hold of my shoulder and sits next to me, seeing me eye to eye. "Now, I didn't say you had no chance, I said you had a slim chance, there is a glimmer of hope if you wanted to go back and live again. If I were you, I'd die now on a high, you just saved a lot of people's lives by what you did. And looking back on your life, it didn't seem like you had a great one."
"How would you know?" I felt a pang on sadness hit my soul and ripple like water.
"Trust me, I know for sure, I have watched you since you were born."
I took a breath and blinked back the tears. The pointing to the door, I asked, "What's behind there?"
"Ah, nothing special. That's just the door to go back to your life, but it's locked at the moment."
"Is that supposed to emphasize my glimmer of hope? Because it is doing wonders for me!!!"
She got up, the smile had washed from her face. Taking my hand she guided me to the door, took out a normal looking house key and opened it.
"This is a window into what you're going through at the moment." She said with a sigh, it was like she didn't want to show me but had to.
I looked out, there was me!
I was strapped onto a stretcher, my hand elevated and being attended to by Ororo and the Prof.. Beside my stretcher was another one with Kurt in it, hooked up to tubes and bags of fluid, similar to me but much less equipment.
Jean walks over to Ororo. "Is there any chance she will-" She broke off suddenly, gazing at us both laying still.
"Well, Kurt is alright, he's had a lot beaten out of him but he mainly has a concussion. For Selaeste on the other hand, it doesn't look good. She's lost a lot of blood and unless we find a donor quickly…"
Jean steps closer to my body, placing a hand on my arm. "You came so suddenly and we all can't bear to lose you, but who are you?"
"Yes, it is strange that all we know is her name." The Prof. spun round in his chair and joined the conversation. "I tried to scan her thoughts but her mind is somewhat offline at the moment. She will be incredibly lucky to bounce back after such an ordeal."
The door is slammed in front of me. The girl stands in the way, locking the door and turns to face me.
"I think you've seen enough, now let's have some fun. Which memory would you like to see, may I recommend one from six years ago?"
I nod and in an instant, we're in a small cinema theatre and it is only us in the whole place. She runs up to the back right corner, I follow suit and sit in the seat next to her. The screen flashes a count down, then she explains that this film has the highlights and low times of my remembered childhood and onwards.
Looking to the screen, I see me getting off a school bus wearing a little red and white dress. I must have been getting home because I remember I would always take my shoes off in the bus before arriving home. There I was, running down the garden path and opening a screen door. Inside, I was greeted by a youngish looking man, David his name was. Tall, small build and glasses, kind of geeky looking but he was the closest concept I had of a father, as I remember it. He picks me up and plants me on the kitchen counter, presents me with a cookie and carries me off to the backyard where I run over to a rusty swinging chair. I'm sitting by myself and breaking my cookie into crumbs, feeding little birds that came into the yard.
Another scene was of me, probably at twelve years old, in a boat rowing with David , he was asleep in the corner and holding a fishing rod in one hand, a half empty bottle of liquor in the other. I didn't look very happy, as I'm trying to row with the boat weighed down in one end. The boat passes by on screen and followed with a shot of a trail of beer and liquor bottles behind the boat.
The next scene I remember quite clearly, I was a month away from my thirteenth birthday when I got angry with David. He had wasted a lot of money on booze and had lost his job. The bills were piling up and the money I tried to earn washing people's dogs and cars was not enough to pay it off. I was yelling at him while he sat in a torn up old arm chair, throwing the overdue letters in his face when he got up quickly and tried to hit with his bottle of beer. I anticipated that it would happen, so I made that noise I do and the glass smashes just missing my head. David is on the floor, staggering to get up and clenching the side of his head. He spoke the words that will ring in my ears for the rest of my life. "If you don't leave right now, then I'll make you! You're nothing but a burden to me, get out!"
I had to look away, for a new the next scene that followed only to well. When I had left, I got all my savings and bought a ticket to another town some hundred miles or more. It was then when I got into the routine of making the best of what I could find. My first home was in an abandoned warehouse on a shipping dock. I borrowed tarpaulin, rope, a tin opener and a blanket from some of the boats that sat idle in the docks. My first meal was a first taste of what I had to put up for the next few years, it was a tin of cold spaghetti and a stale dinner roll on the pass-out tray from the bakery.
After a week, I returned to my home to see what had become of David via jumping a train and walking through fields of wheat for hours. In all, it took me a day and a bit to get back home. The house didn't look like it was in good shape, the glass still smashed from the last time I was there and police tape strung around the premises. I scurried round the back of the house, the chair was still there but the locks on the doors had all been broken and doors almost off their hinges. Inside, the smell of gas from the stove was pungent and blood on the kitchen floor had dried in a brown puddled crust. I reminded myself constantly for a month afterwards, 'he wouldn't have done that if I were around'.
The girl interrupts my chain of thought. "I can see that this disturbs you, what would you like to do now?"
"Could I check on that door again, please?" I tried putting on a lighter expression.
"Sure."
We both get up and walk out into the middle aisle, the film still playing my past. Then we're back in the void as if we hadn't left it. The takes the key out, unlocks the door and opens it enough to view what's happening down below.
My body was in a hospital bed, lifeless and hooked up to all manner of machinery measuring vital signs. Both arms were hooked up tubes, one arm to a sack of clear liquid, the other hooked to a bag of blood. Beside me sat Logan and Kurt, both very focused on my motionless face. Kurt didn't look to bad considering the beating I had given him.
He turned to Logan with an uncomfortable face. "Do you think she vill come back to us?"
Logan remained unresponsive, instead getting up from his chair and leaving the room.
A.T.-She's in bad shape now, but Magneto does have a surprise waiting for her, later! It was a bit lengthy, but there's just a taste of Selaeste's past.