Notes:
Gensomaden Saiyuki is copyright their respective owners and associates. This is a work of fanfiction. No infringement intended.
I wrote this piece on a pretty bad day - hence, it's rather dark in nature and quite smack in the middle of things. But, I hope it's comprehensible enough. Please send feedback to tarotwatery@yahoo.com. Thank you!
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"I sing to life and to its tragic beauty
To pain and to strife, but all that dances through me
The rise and the fall; I've lived through it all..."
--Canto Alla Vita, The Corrs and Josh Groban.
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'Where He Rests'
A Gensomaden Saiyuki Fanfic
By Mia M.
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I worried about coming here.
Sanzo may pull the trigger on me the very second I appear. He'd have good reason to. It's in him to do so without a second thought. Especially since I am the stepsister of Kougaiji, the man who killed his comrade. That association would be the death of me in this round. Never mind that I came here not to duel, but to pay my respects.
Never mind that I also mourned for Goku.
But I can just imagine it now, raising my head and looking down the barrel - hearing a loud BANG, then feeling nothing. What would happen from there I wonder? Where would I go? Is this what Goku felt when my brother killed him?
Where would Goku be?
Would he, as some people say, be in heaven or hell?
Or, being Sanzo's follower, would he be reincarnated, reborn in a new form? Would he be expected to pick up where he left off in his new life? Or would he start over? Or maybe that was his final form - he's become, as they believe, one of spirit and earth.
I don't know.
I just hope he's happy.
I stiffened slightly as I neared the place where Goku was buried. I heard murmuring, and immediately recognized it as a sutra for the dead. I paused, as a large rock marking the grave came to view and kneeling before it - hands together in prayer, was Sanzo, who was murmuring the sutra.
I stood there quietly, as Sanzo continued praying. He seemed too concentrated in his sutra to notice I've arrived. I shut my eyes and listened.
As I did, the reason why I came here recurred to me, more vividly than before. Months before it all happened...
"You can have the last pork bun." Goku told me that evening.
I wiped my tears away and looked at him astonishingly. "But, don't you want it? You won it!"
"You weren't concentrating on the fight, you were thinking of the fight you had with your brother." He pointed out. "I'd rather keep this prize when you're really into our fight. Would make winning more exciting, and the pork bun would taste better." He smiled. I never thought he'd smile so kindly at me.
"You keep it." I insisted. "I don't want it. I don't deserve it."
He shrugged. "If you say so."
But he split the pork bun into two, and gave me one half. "There. For your strife."
The murmuring stopped. I opened my eyes.
Sanzo stood up, and turned. He looked straight at me. I braced myself for the worse, but to my surprise, he didn't do anything. He just stood there expectantly.
"I'm not here to duel with you," I clarified carefully. "I've just come for Goku." His expression didn't change. "I'm very sorry for your loss." I added.
He slowly nodded, and started to walk towards me. I remained in place, eyes on him, watching him approach me, then right past me.
He didn't say a word. He didn't even look back, as he walked down the steps back to the temple.
It was just Goku and I.
I went up to the headstone. There wasn't a single marking, and the surface was smooth and polished. Atop it was the single gold band that Goku wore around his forehead.
I forced a smile, dug into my pocket and pulled a single, whole pork bun.
"For your pain." I whispered, as I laid it before the headstone.
I stepped back slowly, then turned, and walked away.
-OWARI-