MEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!! I LIKE REVIEWS!!! ^o^
Hehe, thank you -so- much for those of you who re-reviewed, and for the new ones as well. Don't hate my fic yet! It only gets better! And if you -do- hate it, F*CK YOU!! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT GENIUS IS!!!! ^o^
**
Chapter 2: Grandmother Willow...revealed
Author: Meefer ^_^
Rating: PG 13
Content: Sexual references, drug-usage, and of course, the bad language
Pairings: Trowom X Usahontas
---------
The low, deep sound of the conch could be heard throughout the land. Women in the harvesting field ran to the center of the village Men fishing, left the river for the center of the village as well. Children, who were in the middle of a game, dropped their rackets and headed toward the center of the village. The sound of the conch meant that their chief, their leader, had returned home safely. Everyone was heading to the center of the village to hear of the battle's outcome.
Chief Krilhaten stepped out of his canoe...and fell flat on his face.
"Dammit! I knew I should've gotten this thing hemmed," the short leader said to himself as someone pulled him up to his feet by the oversized cape he wore.
"Chama Wingapo, Krilhaten." Hekata greeted, once Krilhaten was in the front of the gathering.
"It's good to be home." he answered, taking a stance in the center of the crowd. "The Masawomaks are defeated thanks to our brothers from across the great puddle!" he shouted enthusiastically.
Everyone looked up in confusion.
"He means the Atlantic ocean," Hekata whispered to the crowd. The majority there nodded in understanding and Krilhaten continued.
"Our brothers across the great puddle who reside in the boot, helped us defeat the Masawomaks! Our villages are safe now!"
"He means our brothers in Italy." Hekata whispered, the audience nodding once again.
"Among all of our warriors, only one outshone them all. This man is Trowom, he fought with the strength of am bear and the courage of a Tiger. Tonight, we feast in his honor!"
"HUR-RAY!" Yajirobi exclaimed, hopping to his feet, his numerous rolls shaking in the air. Food always had this effect on him.
Hekata leaned in, poking Yajirobi in the belly.
"WOO-HOO!" Yajirobi said, giggling like a pansy.
"Maybe you should sit this feast out, fat boy," Hekata suggested.
"SHUT UP! I'm not fat, just 'thick'!!" Yajirobi yelled.
Hekata sneered. "And those donuts don't help much either, fat ass."
Hekata turned his attention back to the important matters at hand. He took some body paint and left two handprints on Trowum's man-boobies, squeezing each one before removing his hand.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Trowom said, "Back off, dude. I don't go that way."
"Just testing out the merchandise," Hekata answered.
Krilhaten walked away from the crowd, at the conclusion of his speach, and stood in front of his hut. Hekata soon followed.
"Where is my daughter?" he asked.
"How the fuck should I know?! I'm not her goddamn babysitter!"
**
"Usahontas!" Nakami called to her best friend. "Come down from there! Your father's home!"
"Wha?!" Usahontas called back, running to the edge of the cliff. As she neared the edge, she slipped on a patch of moss and began falling head-first toward the water. "Haloooooo, Nakami!"
Luna, her raccoon/panther mix (who knows how they pulled that off) jumped after Usahontas and fell next to her in the water with a splash.
"Usahontas! Usahontas! Where are you?!" Nakami yelled desperately.
"Ahh, Nakami! Heeeeeeeeeeeelp! I can't swim!" she pleaded, grabbing a side of the canoe.
"Yes, you can!" Nakami said to her, beginning to slap the oar of the canoe over Usahontas's odangos. "Stop rocking the boat! I don't want to get wet! Usahontaaaaaaaaahhh!" she yelled one last time as the canoe was turned over, sending poor Nakami head first into the water.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" she fake-laughed, "You look like a dead rat!"
Nakami grumbled a few times under her breath about dumb chieftan-daughters named Usahontas, and reached for the oar once again, to resume the slapping. She soon stopped, more interested in getting herself out of the water than anything else.
Off in the distance, the faint voice of someone calling Usahontas' name could be heard. It gradually grew louder, until it was perfectly audible.
"Usahontas!" Trowom called once more as he came upon the lake.
Usahontas stepped out of the water and walked towards Trowom "Yes?"
"Your father sent me for you. I told him that I didn't know where you were. Now we have some spare time to spend alone, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do." he said, raising and lowering his eyebrows.
Usahontas giggled childlishly, obviously catching on to Trowom's implications. She said good bye to Nakami and walked with Trowom to their 'special' place...behind a bush.
Trowom stood proudly, his arms crossed over his chest. He didnt stand alone however...er..."little Trowom" was there too, causing his Loin cloth to stick out more than it...should.
A few minutes later, Usahontas stepped out from behind the bush and wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand...
***Once the two reached the village***
Usahontas, after saying goodbye to Trowom, walked into her father's hut.
Krilhaten lifted his head at the sound of his hut flap being pushed aside. "Hello, daughter!" he greeted happily.
"Hello, father!" she answered.
"How has my only daughter been?"
"Pretty good," she said, "But, I've been having the strangest dream every night," she began, "In my dream, I'm in the forest, and there's this erect, spinning penis. It just spins and spins, never stopping...What does this mean? I know it's trying to tell me something, but I don't know what."
Krilhaten scratched his bald head, consumed in a deep thought. "Well, Usahontas, I think that maybe you're having wet dreams...Maybe you should go see Hekata sometime. He'll help you interpret them better. Maybe this penis you're seeing belongs to Trowom. I mean, he's asked for my blessing in having your hand in marriage. Maybe it was your sub-concious telling you that if you marry him, your future will be filled with big penis...not that I know if he has a big penis," he finished quickly.
"Father, I think the penis is pointing me down a different path..."
"Even the mountain stream must meet with the big puddle." he said.
"I don't get it...Speak English."
For some reason, Krilhatem decided that he could express himself best through song. "Though the river's proud and strong...he will choose the smoothest course...that's why rivers live so long," Krilhaten sang. "Cuz' they're steadyyyyyyy...like the steady, beating drummmm."
Usahontas bitch-slapped her father."What the fuck are you talking about!" she yelled, leaving the hut in her frustration.
Krilhaten followed her out and gave her a necklace."This belonged to your mother. She wanted to give you this before you were to be married." Krilhaten said, tying the necklace around her neck.
"Oh my god, you IDIOT! I already said the penis was pointing me down a DIFFERENT path! I'm NOT getting married to Trowom dammit!" Usahontas yelled, tearing the necklace off.
***Awhile later***
Usahontas and her ever-faithful companion Luna went to the river. They hopped into a nearby canoe and paddled away, before the canoe's owner realized it had been stolen.
After singing a good 30 seconds about, er, rivers...Usahontas was finally brought to the whole point of her song. "Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the beating drum? Should I marry Trowooo-om? Is all my wet-dreaming at an end? Oooor dooo yooou stiiiill waaaait for meee wet-dream giveeeer? Just around the riveeer... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend." She finished strongly, still paddling away.
Now that she was done, Luna bit Usahontas's arm, drawing blood. "If you ever sing again, I swear to god, I'll bite your fucken head off." she threatened.
Usahontas nodded in understanding and parked the canoe.
She had seen Hekata earlier that day, and he had given her one of his, 'magical' mushrooms to calm her down. She sat down, her back leaned against a nearby tree and ate it.
"Whoa, I feel dizzy." she said to Luna. She stood back up and shook her head. "Oh, my god! That tree's moving! Don't you see it's face, Luna?" she yelled, pointing in astonishment at the tree, who, to us *normal* people appeared to be exactly that...an, erm, tree.
Maybe it was the mushrooms, maybe she's just a moron, but THAT TREE SUDDENLY HAD A FACE!
"Hallo, my child," the tree said to her. "My name is Meece(Miss) Cleo. Meece Cleo is hea to help you make deceesions, with Meece Cleo's tarot leaves." she finished in her heavy, fake-ass Jamaican accent.
"Hi, Miss Cleo. I'm Usahontas," she stated.
"Meece Cleo knows, my child. Now, tell me about yoa dream." Miss Cleo said.
Usahontas told her the story.
"What does it mean?" she asked.
"Let Meece Cleo look into the Tarot leaves and Meece Cleo will tell you," Miss Cleo said as she shook some leaves off of her branches. "Ah, my child, Meece Cleo see many tings. You are sleeping with this Trowom, no?"
Usahontas nodded.
"But, you don't want to marry him?"
Usahontas shook her head. "It's one thing to be screwing him, but marriage is a whole 'nother story." Usahontas said.
"Meece Cleo knows, my child. Meece Cleo see in te future strange clouds. T'ere will be men on t'em. You will have sex wit' many of t'em. You might marry..."
Suddenly Miss Cleo groaned loudly, her branch-arms, shaking slightly. "Oh, child, Meece Cleo not feel good. You must eat ot'er mushroom to see Meece Cleo again. We have few minutes before Meece Cleo must leave." she said sadly.
Hmm, maybe the mushrooms WERE the reason...
"You dream points to yoooou path een(in) liiiife. Listen to the spirits...t'ey leeve(leave) in t'e Earth, River, Wind, and Water." Miss Cleo said, making sure she remembered to stress each syllable. Now, for some reason, she also deemed it a worthy occasion for song, and began to (oh god no) sing...she sang loud and annoyingly, her voice resembling that of an old lady at church. "Kweee, Kweee, Notura, you will undastaaaand. Listen with you ha't(heart), you will understaaaaand. Let it break upon you like a wave upon de saaaand. Listen wit' your heart, you wi-" Usahontas interrupted her, god bless her for it..
"Goddamit! Will you stop singing! You have no talent! Accept it! You Suck!" Usahontas told her...although harsh, we must admit that there was *some* truth to it.
"Well if tat's how you want to be, my child, den Meece Cleo not need to be here." Miss Cleo said sternly, and with that, faded back into the tree she once was.
"Bitch..." Usahontas murmured and kicked Miss Cleo's trunk.
Just then, Usahontas heard noises coming from the ocean's way. She climbed up Miss Cleo and looked out at the ocean.
"Strange clouds..." she said aloud, staring intently at the sails of the Susan Constant.
Luna could only shake her head at the moron...was even tempted to tell her it was a FUCKING BOAT, but alas, she was too tired and too lazy. So, she took off, leaving the still gazing Usahontas in the tree.
------------
AN: If you don't know who Miss Cleo really is, then I'll tell you. She's a dope psychic, who seems as though she inhales too much of her incense, if you know what I mean. Ya ya ya, she HAS had a lotta crap about being a fake and all, but she's cool, none the less. So don't take everything I write about her too seriously. ^^
Chapter 3--
The whities are here!
Could Quatron get any gayer? Most likely...Stay tuned!
Hehe, thank you -so- much for those of you who re-reviewed, and for the new ones as well. Don't hate my fic yet! It only gets better! And if you -do- hate it, F*CK YOU!! YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT GENIUS IS!!!! ^o^
**
Chapter 2: Grandmother Willow...revealed
Author: Meefer ^_^
Rating: PG 13
Content: Sexual references, drug-usage, and of course, the bad language
Pairings: Trowom X Usahontas
---------
The low, deep sound of the conch could be heard throughout the land. Women in the harvesting field ran to the center of the village Men fishing, left the river for the center of the village as well. Children, who were in the middle of a game, dropped their rackets and headed toward the center of the village. The sound of the conch meant that their chief, their leader, had returned home safely. Everyone was heading to the center of the village to hear of the battle's outcome.
Chief Krilhaten stepped out of his canoe...and fell flat on his face.
"Dammit! I knew I should've gotten this thing hemmed," the short leader said to himself as someone pulled him up to his feet by the oversized cape he wore.
"Chama Wingapo, Krilhaten." Hekata greeted, once Krilhaten was in the front of the gathering.
"It's good to be home." he answered, taking a stance in the center of the crowd. "The Masawomaks are defeated thanks to our brothers from across the great puddle!" he shouted enthusiastically.
Everyone looked up in confusion.
"He means the Atlantic ocean," Hekata whispered to the crowd. The majority there nodded in understanding and Krilhaten continued.
"Our brothers across the great puddle who reside in the boot, helped us defeat the Masawomaks! Our villages are safe now!"
"He means our brothers in Italy." Hekata whispered, the audience nodding once again.
"Among all of our warriors, only one outshone them all. This man is Trowom, he fought with the strength of am bear and the courage of a Tiger. Tonight, we feast in his honor!"
"HUR-RAY!" Yajirobi exclaimed, hopping to his feet, his numerous rolls shaking in the air. Food always had this effect on him.
Hekata leaned in, poking Yajirobi in the belly.
"WOO-HOO!" Yajirobi said, giggling like a pansy.
"Maybe you should sit this feast out, fat boy," Hekata suggested.
"SHUT UP! I'm not fat, just 'thick'!!" Yajirobi yelled.
Hekata sneered. "And those donuts don't help much either, fat ass."
Hekata turned his attention back to the important matters at hand. He took some body paint and left two handprints on Trowum's man-boobies, squeezing each one before removing his hand.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Trowom said, "Back off, dude. I don't go that way."
"Just testing out the merchandise," Hekata answered.
Krilhaten walked away from the crowd, at the conclusion of his speach, and stood in front of his hut. Hekata soon followed.
"Where is my daughter?" he asked.
"How the fuck should I know?! I'm not her goddamn babysitter!"
**
"Usahontas!" Nakami called to her best friend. "Come down from there! Your father's home!"
"Wha?!" Usahontas called back, running to the edge of the cliff. As she neared the edge, she slipped on a patch of moss and began falling head-first toward the water. "Haloooooo, Nakami!"
Luna, her raccoon/panther mix (who knows how they pulled that off) jumped after Usahontas and fell next to her in the water with a splash.
"Usahontas! Usahontas! Where are you?!" Nakami yelled desperately.
"Ahh, Nakami! Heeeeeeeeeeeelp! I can't swim!" she pleaded, grabbing a side of the canoe.
"Yes, you can!" Nakami said to her, beginning to slap the oar of the canoe over Usahontas's odangos. "Stop rocking the boat! I don't want to get wet! Usahontaaaaaaaaahhh!" she yelled one last time as the canoe was turned over, sending poor Nakami head first into the water.
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" she fake-laughed, "You look like a dead rat!"
Nakami grumbled a few times under her breath about dumb chieftan-daughters named Usahontas, and reached for the oar once again, to resume the slapping. She soon stopped, more interested in getting herself out of the water than anything else.
Off in the distance, the faint voice of someone calling Usahontas' name could be heard. It gradually grew louder, until it was perfectly audible.
"Usahontas!" Trowom called once more as he came upon the lake.
Usahontas stepped out of the water and walked towards Trowom "Yes?"
"Your father sent me for you. I told him that I didn't know where you were. Now we have some spare time to spend alone, if ya know what I mean, and I think you do." he said, raising and lowering his eyebrows.
Usahontas giggled childlishly, obviously catching on to Trowom's implications. She said good bye to Nakami and walked with Trowom to their 'special' place...behind a bush.
Trowom stood proudly, his arms crossed over his chest. He didnt stand alone however...er..."little Trowom" was there too, causing his Loin cloth to stick out more than it...should.
A few minutes later, Usahontas stepped out from behind the bush and wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand...
***Once the two reached the village***
Usahontas, after saying goodbye to Trowom, walked into her father's hut.
Krilhaten lifted his head at the sound of his hut flap being pushed aside. "Hello, daughter!" he greeted happily.
"Hello, father!" she answered.
"How has my only daughter been?"
"Pretty good," she said, "But, I've been having the strangest dream every night," she began, "In my dream, I'm in the forest, and there's this erect, spinning penis. It just spins and spins, never stopping...What does this mean? I know it's trying to tell me something, but I don't know what."
Krilhaten scratched his bald head, consumed in a deep thought. "Well, Usahontas, I think that maybe you're having wet dreams...Maybe you should go see Hekata sometime. He'll help you interpret them better. Maybe this penis you're seeing belongs to Trowom. I mean, he's asked for my blessing in having your hand in marriage. Maybe it was your sub-concious telling you that if you marry him, your future will be filled with big penis...not that I know if he has a big penis," he finished quickly.
"Father, I think the penis is pointing me down a different path..."
"Even the mountain stream must meet with the big puddle." he said.
"I don't get it...Speak English."
For some reason, Krilhatem decided that he could express himself best through song. "Though the river's proud and strong...he will choose the smoothest course...that's why rivers live so long," Krilhaten sang. "Cuz' they're steadyyyyyyy...like the steady, beating drummmm."
Usahontas bitch-slapped her father."What the fuck are you talking about!" she yelled, leaving the hut in her frustration.
Krilhaten followed her out and gave her a necklace."This belonged to your mother. She wanted to give you this before you were to be married." Krilhaten said, tying the necklace around her neck.
"Oh my god, you IDIOT! I already said the penis was pointing me down a DIFFERENT path! I'm NOT getting married to Trowom dammit!" Usahontas yelled, tearing the necklace off.
***Awhile later***
Usahontas and her ever-faithful companion Luna went to the river. They hopped into a nearby canoe and paddled away, before the canoe's owner realized it had been stolen.
After singing a good 30 seconds about, er, rivers...Usahontas was finally brought to the whole point of her song. "Should I choose the smoothest course, steady as the beating drum? Should I marry Trowooo-om? Is all my wet-dreaming at an end? Oooor dooo yooou stiiiill waaaait for meee wet-dream giveeeer? Just around the riveeer... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend." She finished strongly, still paddling away.
Now that she was done, Luna bit Usahontas's arm, drawing blood. "If you ever sing again, I swear to god, I'll bite your fucken head off." she threatened.
Usahontas nodded in understanding and parked the canoe.
She had seen Hekata earlier that day, and he had given her one of his, 'magical' mushrooms to calm her down. She sat down, her back leaned against a nearby tree and ate it.
"Whoa, I feel dizzy." she said to Luna. She stood back up and shook her head. "Oh, my god! That tree's moving! Don't you see it's face, Luna?" she yelled, pointing in astonishment at the tree, who, to us *normal* people appeared to be exactly that...an, erm, tree.
Maybe it was the mushrooms, maybe she's just a moron, but THAT TREE SUDDENLY HAD A FACE!
"Hallo, my child," the tree said to her. "My name is Meece(Miss) Cleo. Meece Cleo is hea to help you make deceesions, with Meece Cleo's tarot leaves." she finished in her heavy, fake-ass Jamaican accent.
"Hi, Miss Cleo. I'm Usahontas," she stated.
"Meece Cleo knows, my child. Now, tell me about yoa dream." Miss Cleo said.
Usahontas told her the story.
"What does it mean?" she asked.
"Let Meece Cleo look into the Tarot leaves and Meece Cleo will tell you," Miss Cleo said as she shook some leaves off of her branches. "Ah, my child, Meece Cleo see many tings. You are sleeping with this Trowom, no?"
Usahontas nodded.
"But, you don't want to marry him?"
Usahontas shook her head. "It's one thing to be screwing him, but marriage is a whole 'nother story." Usahontas said.
"Meece Cleo knows, my child. Meece Cleo see in te future strange clouds. T'ere will be men on t'em. You will have sex wit' many of t'em. You might marry..."
Suddenly Miss Cleo groaned loudly, her branch-arms, shaking slightly. "Oh, child, Meece Cleo not feel good. You must eat ot'er mushroom to see Meece Cleo again. We have few minutes before Meece Cleo must leave." she said sadly.
Hmm, maybe the mushrooms WERE the reason...
"You dream points to yoooou path een(in) liiiife. Listen to the spirits...t'ey leeve(leave) in t'e Earth, River, Wind, and Water." Miss Cleo said, making sure she remembered to stress each syllable. Now, for some reason, she also deemed it a worthy occasion for song, and began to (oh god no) sing...she sang loud and annoyingly, her voice resembling that of an old lady at church. "Kweee, Kweee, Notura, you will undastaaaand. Listen with you ha't(heart), you will understaaaaand. Let it break upon you like a wave upon de saaaand. Listen wit' your heart, you wi-" Usahontas interrupted her, god bless her for it..
"Goddamit! Will you stop singing! You have no talent! Accept it! You Suck!" Usahontas told her...although harsh, we must admit that there was *some* truth to it.
"Well if tat's how you want to be, my child, den Meece Cleo not need to be here." Miss Cleo said sternly, and with that, faded back into the tree she once was.
"Bitch..." Usahontas murmured and kicked Miss Cleo's trunk.
Just then, Usahontas heard noises coming from the ocean's way. She climbed up Miss Cleo and looked out at the ocean.
"Strange clouds..." she said aloud, staring intently at the sails of the Susan Constant.
Luna could only shake her head at the moron...was even tempted to tell her it was a FUCKING BOAT, but alas, she was too tired and too lazy. So, she took off, leaving the still gazing Usahontas in the tree.
------------
AN: If you don't know who Miss Cleo really is, then I'll tell you. She's a dope psychic, who seems as though she inhales too much of her incense, if you know what I mean. Ya ya ya, she HAS had a lotta crap about being a fake and all, but she's cool, none the less. So don't take everything I write about her too seriously. ^^
Chapter 3--
The whities are here!
Could Quatron get any gayer? Most likely...Stay tuned!