Chapter 2
A Meeting With Dumbledore
Professor Snape stormed into the great hall at breakfast enraged with the world. He snarled at a terrified first year at his passing then settled in his place at the teachers table.
The professor of Transfigurations, Minerva McGonagall passed him a side ways glance of annoyance while the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore simply raised an eyebrow. This little episode was nothing out of the ordinary at Hogwarts. Severus had arrived many a time enraged about something or another. Of cause the rest of the teachers and children were innocently spared Severus' reasons for his little outbursts of aggression.
Professor McGonagall frowned over at Dumbledore and peered at him over the top of her small oval glasses.
"Albus, he's getting worse," she murmured. "We can't let Severus continue like this." Pausing and took a delicate sip from her tea cup. The headmaster sighed, and rubbed his long crooked nose. "What if one of the children-"
"Minerva!" Came a hurt reply. Dumbledore shook his head. "Severus is many things but he'd never hurt a child." McGonagall scowled. "Very well. I'll have a word with him." He glanced over at the potions master who simply sat there, frowning over at the Gryffindor table. The cup of tea and his plate untouched.
"Aren't you hungry Professor Snape?" Called McGonagall, her voice tinged with a slight Scottish burgh. Severus turned his gaze away from the table of laughing happy children. Innocent of anything he had endured at there age. Innocent of the world and it's evils.
Realising that a few of the teachers were staring in his direction, Severus managed to grimace. It was the closest thing to a smile he could muster this morning. He deliberately took a gulp of the cold tea.
"I'd like to have a word when you're finished Severus," said Dumbledore. A small grunt sound came from the potions master. The headmaster took this for an agreement, looked away and started chatting to Professor McGonagall.
"Wonder when she'll arrive?" She muttered. Dumbledore smiled faintly remembering his previous student with warm reverence.
"All should be ready now," he answered. "I'm waiting for an owl to bring me her news."
"Ah," McGonagall nodded in understanding and noticed Severus casting questioning glances over in her direction. "I wonder what he'll make of that?" She said under her breath. "Have you told Professor Snape yet?"
"I'm going to shortly," said Dumbledore rising from his throne like seat. He adjusted his robes then crossed over to Severus.
"Are you ready, Professor?" He asked. Severus grunted again in agreement and stood up. Dumbledore noticed that he had touched no food, but decided against saying anything.
Sustenance had been the furthest thing from Severus' mind in the past few weeks. He hadn't eaten properly in months and it had started to take it's toll on the potions masters frame. The only hunger he really felt was to rid himself of his torrid memories and slump into a cold oblivion. Together the Headmaster and Professor Snape left the great hall and proceeded towards Dumbledore's office.
The room was warm brightly lit and comfortable to live in. This reflected the headmaster greatly. Behind his desk were twenty or more living portraits of previous headmasters and mistresses. They smiled as he stepped into his office, but as soon as Severus made his swooping dark appearance the smiles were abruptly wiped off their painted faces.
Even Fawkes, Dumbledore's pet phoenix was unnaturally silent and still. It took the golden bird a few long heart beats until he hopped over to Severus. Seeking his pain the bird began to sing. For a long moment that was all the potions master heard, a gentle sorrowful song. He reached out his hand gently stroking the soft feathers. Fawkes reclined his head and gently nuzzled against Severus' hand.
Dumbledore glided over to his seat behind the desk then motioned for Professor Snape to sit in one of the facing leather chairs. Severus stiffened and remained standing. The bird flapped slightly, sending a cloud of fire red and gold feathers into the air. He took off and landed back onto his perch. Severus pulled the cloak around himself, reminding Dumbledore of a bat. The tall, gangly white bearded wizard studied the younger man and withheld a small smile.
"Very well," he said then cleared his throat. "Your re-application for the Defence Against the Dark Arts job has been denied." Severus wasn't surprised, but with the sudden departure of the previous teacher and he being the only wizard with the suitable credentials and experience, Severus had silently been hoping that he may this time around be given the job.
"I have my reasons," said the elder man aware how keen the potions master wanted the vacancy.
"You are no doubt qualified for it, but then that would leave the potions position vacant. Since you are the best skilled potions teacher in all of Britain and a very valuable one at that. I felt that it's simply more a logical reason for you to continue with the position you currently hold."
Severus folded his arms across his chest. His cold dark eyes pinned at the headmaster's forehead. "Then who?-"
"Arr yes," came the curt reply. "I believe you remember Miss Taya Matterson?"
"How could I possibly forget," muttered Severus sarcastically under his breath. For a second the memory of the dream touched his consciousness. Her tender swollen lips upon him, her tongue lapping lightly against- He gasped at the memory, disturbed by his reaction to it. The moment he realised the pressure growing between his legs was the result of in-pure thoughts, angry bitter ones quickly paid to rest his ever consuming passion. The professor swallowed and felt a rush of grim awareness pass through him. He frowned and buried his hands inside his cloak hiding their trembling.
"What about her?" He asked with a mixture of curiosity and dread. How was he ever going to survive being near her when even a silly dream had caused his body to react disturbingly against his own will and what about her infliction? Her special 'gift.' Severus felt his restraint further slipping away, and he quickly re-shielded himself.
Dumbledore smiled. "You looked lost in thought there for a moment Severus. If I remember correctly back a few years, there was some feeling behind that cold wall." Severus stiffened again, but said nothing. He noticed a definite twinkle in the elder man's eyes. Dumbledore smiled again, but Severus didn't return it, nor even a weak sneer.
Deep down inside, in the deepest recesses of his soul Severus knew he had loved her. She had been sixteen then. He remembered noticing all of a sudden that the shy little girl from Slytherin had blossomed into a beautiful young woman. And he punished himself for his attraction to his sixteen year old pupil, a girl who's very life was barraged with an unwelcome gift, who's mind should have been focused on her school work and what sixteen year old girls normally thought about. Not bitter, emotionally frozen potion masters, who made it his daily routine to make people hate him.
She had always been a strange one though, he thought. Totally unsuited to the Slytherin way of life. Secretive, shy, kind, like a delicate flower, easily bruised. His mind wondered back to his own school days. A quiet, reserved young boy, but perspicacious and egotistical. Something's hadn't changed much through the years.
"Totally un-Slytherin," he muttered out loud. Dumbledore frowned.
"Pardon?"
"Never mind."
He had wondered many times whether an error of judgement had been made by the sorting hat who had put her into the Slytherin house. She seemed more suited to Hufflepuff, another of the four Hogwarts houses. The others remaining were Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Gryffindor the brave and fearless, Slytherin were unscrupulous and cunning, while Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw although equal favoured and noble weren't the most renowned houses in Hogwarts. They were more suited to those quiet, intellectual souls.
Severus moved position slightly.
"I insist, Professor," said Dumbledore curiously. Severus made a humf sound.
"I said that Miss Matterson was totally un-Slytherin."
"Curiously so," commented the other man.
I wonder why she wants to come back here? Severus pondered silently and his mind once again journeyed back in time.
Taya was twelve. It was her first detention with Severus Snape.
It had been a terrible day especially with potions. A particularly complicated potion had cause her a diabolical amount of grief.
The potions master stalked the classroom commenting disapprovingly at all of the Gryffindor students including his own house which was quite unusual, he favoured his own students except it seemed for her, and he made use of his disapproval by bullying her as much as those in the other houses. He had wished that she would toughen up a bit for her own sake.
Taya Matterson wasn't short of supporters he remembered. There was a Gryffindor girl she was regularly seen with, and this annoyed Severus Snape even more so. For a Slytherin to be seen with a Gryffindor outside class was a great demeanour to the memory of Salazar Slytherin himself, the founder of Slytherin house.
This took Severus back to the time he'd established a close knitted friendship with a Gryffindor girl, a memory he'd rather forget. So he wasn't one for promoting outside house camaraderie to his students, he believed that Slytherin and Gryffindor, for that matter the other two houses were just not ment to get along.
Taya being no stranger to his regular chiding tried to keep as much a distance away from Severus Snape. She sat at the end of her row gazing at the porridge like contents in her cauldron wishing with deep conviction that it would change to the proper colour and consistency that the shrinking potion was supposed to be.
Anxiously she looked over at her neighbour's concoction, correct of cause, after all it was a relatively easy spell. Perhaps if she knew that she wasn't being tested the sludge before her may have been correct. She dreaded the possibility that the teacher would make her try some. She looked over at him, dressed in his usual black attire and wearing an imposing stare. Taya was terrified of Professor Snape, but it gave her a little comfort to know that she wasn't the only one.
There were numerous rumours going around the school about him. One of which was that Severus Snape was a blood sucker, a vampire. She shivered and without giving it much thought pulled her collar higher up her neck as if in any moment he might swoop down upon her and sink deadly fangs into her neck.
Taya listened as Severus appeared to have lost complete control over his temper and yelled at a small Gryffindor boy who shrank even smaller in his seat when the potions teacher saw the supposed shrinking potion, a glob of dark green putrid goo.
He normally kept his cool, keeping his silky voice low and slippery. That enough would normally put a disobedient student into his or her place. Sometimes, but not very often something made his icy constraints crack, rapidly turning his temper into blazing fire.
Taya cringed and felt as if she were one inch tall as his shadow swooped down behind her. He leaned over her, both arms clamped down. His large hands on her desk, his arms either side of her trapping her in her seat, like a prison.
"What is the meaning of...of this?" His voice was soft, unctuous and dangerously quiet. Taya swallowed down a lump in her throat.
"The...the potion you told us to make sir. I tried sir, but it's too difficult."
"You foolish girl," muttered the professor exasperated. "I explained it to you THREE times. Can't you get it into that thick head of yours the dried mandrake root is added before the monkshood." Severus pulled away. Taya hoped he'd said his piece and move onto the next unfortunate victim. Unfortunately for her he did the exact opposite.
"Detention, here seven o'clock sharp. You'll be brewing the shrinking potion again until you've mastered it." An evil grin played on his mouth slightly. Taya made a squeak sound.
"All night if need be." Tears formed in her eyes. The potions master looked at her as if repulsed. "You call yourself a Slytherin! Pathetic." His words cut into her like a knife and she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. "T...t...twenty points from Slytherin," he stammered. Some of the students gasped, but he silenced them with a look.
"Professor Snape really must be in a really bad mood to take points from his own house," muttered a brown haired Gryffindor girl with long plats.
"Greasy haired, hooked nosed, blood sucking git," replied a small red-haired boy. "He even made one of his own cry."
"Get out," Severus said apparently oblivious to the comments going about him. Everyone remained unmoving. Severus' upper lip quivered. "GET OUT," he roared. With that all the children collected their things and ran for the door.
"WAIT," they stopped dead in their tracks. Severus' voice quietened to a unpredictable silky timbre. "You will get the results of the test next lesson. You're lucky I never asked you to test your pitiful excuses for a potion on yourselves. No doubt ninety nine percent of you will fail the test."
Taya was the last to get to the door and couldn't have got away quick enough had she not distinctly heard Severus mutter, "Blasted children. Why on Merlin's grave did I have to come here, lumbered with a bunch of pathetic cry babies?" She went to step out of the door when she sensed Severus behind her. She tensed and slowly turned around. He gazed down at her and met her eyes. Instead of rage that she expected to see, his eyes were hollow and empty, his features devoid of emotion. "Don't forget Matterson, here in the dungeon at seven o'clock. You don't want worse things to happen to you other than a detention." She swallowed. Fear welled up from the pit of her belly and she clasped her books protectively against her. "Expelled," he hissed turning away and strode purposely toward the back of the room.
Taya Matterson arrived for her detention three minutes to seven o'clock, he remembered distinctly.
She stood trembling outside the closed door to the potions classroom and straightened her pony tail. She swallowed and took a gulp of air preparing herself to whatever lay for her behind the closed heavy wooden door. As Taya reached out to knock the door suddenly opened. A wearily looking Professor Snape stepped out and nearly walked into his student. He frowned down at the child before him.
"What?" She opened her mouth to reply, but Severus interrupted. "If you need to see me make an appointment tomorrow."
"But sir?" Taya frowned in confusion. Severus sighed.
"I'm busy. I have important matters to attend to unlike you I'm sure. Now go away."
"But...but you said-" Severus started walking. Taya ran to keep up.
"WHAT?" Severus sighed. " Stop harassing me."
"I'm sorry Professor but you called me here for a detention." Severus stopped in mid stride, looked down at the small girl, frowned and rubbed his chin.
"Oh yes. Matterson." he murmured in disgust. "Go to Professor McGonagall. She no doubt will find you something to do."
"But-"
"Tell her I sent you. Good NIGHT." With that the head of Slytherin house turned and stormed down the candle lit corridor his cloak billowing behind him.
As Severus stood there entwined in memories, Dumbledore shook his head and frowned at the other man. Albus Dumbledore always had an uncanny ability to know things. People suspected that he knew about everything that went on in the school. Little did Severus know that he was partly hiring Taya Matterson for Severus Snape's own good.
The headmaster had quite a good relationship with her, since her parents' murder at the age of ten, he'd taken a keen interest in the girl's upbringing. She lived at the school since that age, up until she left at eighteen. She was like the grand daughter that he never had, but she was a distant relative, Dumbledore had been the only relation she had left.
Severus glowered through hooded eyes at the smile on the headmaster's face.
"I take it Miss Matterson has been hired then?" Came a chilling voice.
"You are correct Severus." He nodded.
"Then if that is all, may I go?" Severus turned to leave. The headmaster shifted his position slightly and steeped his long fingers before him.
"Um, no," he began. Severus turned and waited silently, looming like a black shadow. "I've noticed lately you...how should I put this?"
"I've know idea what you are talking about, Headmaster," he answered irritably. He was getting slightly frustrated.
"You seem a little flustered lately,"
"Flustered?" His gaze fell on Dumbledore as if he were staring at something disdainful. "Why should I be flustered? I have my job." Severus glowered menacingly at Dumbledore, "I have my work. Why should I be...flustered as you put it."
"I don't know Severus, you tell me? But I'm not the only one who has noticed." Professor Snape took a step towards the door. Dumbledore quickly got to his feet and leaned over his large desk.
"This IS about Miss Matterson isn't it?"
"What would you have me say Professor, that I love her?"
"Do you?" Dumbledore's expression was deadly serious. Severus felt his cheeks burning.
"Of cause not. That is a ridiculas notion."
"Then if that's not the case is there anything I can do?-"
"There is NOTHING you can do." The tone in his voice was raised slightly. "May I leave now? I do not want to be late for my class." Dumbledore nodded then sighed.
"You know, you can always come to me."
And with a small quiet slippery voice Severus said, "With all due respect Headmaster, my private affairs are my own."
"I understand," muttered the other man. "You may go."
"Thank you," replied Severus quietly then left.
He hadn't thought about her for some time that dream had come quite un-expectantly and now it was stirring all matter of different feelings that the professor understood very little about and they confused him. Feelings that made his body betray him, feelings that cropped up in his mind unaware, stalking him in the dead of night, causing him to ponder at the extraordinary situation. Severus sighed. It was like going through puberty again and that was something he's rather forget. These feeling were absurd, frightening even.
Why did this bother him so much? He had wondered this a countless number of times.
She had been gone a long time so why were those feeling returning? He was drowning in them.
The last he had heard she had gone to live in Norway with her great great aunt. He couldn't remember the old woman's name not that he was entirely interested. He didn't really know Taya Matterson that well anyway, despite teaching her for seven long years, he was more interested in the academic success of his students than their personal lives, especially his own house, Slytherin.
He paused in mid stride for a moment as he made it down to his classrooms. His mind hovering over the past, of lost loves and lost hopes. He couldn't possibly mean anything to her. Not after all this time. His mind flickered back to an event seven years that day exactly. A kiss, a mere kiss that was all it was or so he told himself. Probably a dare, but he distinctly remembered feeling something from her, however indeterminate and faint.
That simple kiss had brought no end of trouble between them and it didn't help him to know that he had been wooed successfully by a seventeen year old girl.
For her it only deepened the telepathic contact, her gift a powerful yet rare condition affecting a girl or boy at the start of puberty only to grow stronger through adolescence until it became so powerful that a person could never be drawn away.
He'd pushed the fact from his mind years ago. He didn't believe in such nonsense, merely superstition brought on by hopeless romantics or those wanting to inflict fear into the minds of sensitive souls.
What chilled him then? Even now after several long years apart was the thought that she probably new everything, however subtle or vague. Taya would have seen the bulk of what was torturing him. He had tried to shut that thought out of his mind, not entirely successfully. Taya Matterson had resolved to spend the rest of her Hogwarts Potions final alone, being supervised by another teacher with no contact between herself and Professor Snape.
He too kept his mind sharply focused on other things throughout the day. He couldn't let risking himself be read further. He didn't entirely understand the gift, what was uncommonly identified as an Empathic Nervous Stimuli, an ENS or for a better word, an unconscious mind link. What he had gathered after reading several volumes on the rare condition that is was regarded as an ancient curse inherited from past generations to the next.
Since Taya's parents were dead. There was no way she could be prepared for it until it came about by itself, that being to late. Taya was thrown in at the deep end and it put Severus into a difficult situation.
Only at night did his control diminish and he couldn't be blamed for that. Only Taya herself knew whether she could sense him then, probably the most intense time. He hated to think that she could plough through his mind as easily as one walked through the air, consciously or unconsciously.
He shook his head then continued walking. She is probably married by now, with children. Severus grunted slightly, was their a hint of jealously there mingled within his mind? And she is coming here, to Hogwarts.
The dream was still there, badgering his consciousness even when he finally stepped into the classroom.