Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Please keep those reviews coming :o)

Chapter 6

Return to Hogwarts

The owl took the letter from Taya's hand as soon as she finished writing and addressing the envelope.

To Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Scotland.

It gave a little hoot then fluttered over to the window, turned it's head to stare one last time before it took flight out into the country.

A week past uneventfully, but Taya Matterson felt a strange kindred feeling of content returning when she arrived at the gates of Hogwarts castle. Leaving her old life behind her a new one just about to start. She had made arrangements for her apartment to be rented off until further notice.

A feeling of sadness crept into her subconscious. Would that life, living as a Muggle in a town of Muggles be missed? She sighed and took in the cold Scottish air, the smells and of retiring to the place of her childhood made it seem most worthwhile.

It was dark outside. She had been travelling all day, The horseless coach turned and vanished into the night. She picked up her luggage and trekked across the yard to the great double doors. She was greeted by a woman swathed in luxury green fabric, her dark hair was swept up into a tight bun. Taya recognised Minerva McGonagall immediately. She's changed very little through the years, Taya thought.

"It's wonderful to see you again Miss Matterson," the elder woman said with a smile.

"And you, Professor," Taya replied humbly.

"Come now, you're not a student any longer. Call me Minerva." She reached out her hand and lightly clasped her arm. "The professors are dying to see you again," she said happily.

All except one? Taya wondered.

They stepped into the entrance and Taya looked around her. Everything looked the same as the last time she was here.

"You can leave you bags they will be taken up to your room shortly. Come this way." Taya took one last look around the entrance and followed the Transfiguration teacher past the great hall and up four flights to stares.

"You must be tired dear."

"Yes I am a bit," she said while stifling a yawn. Wonder what time it is? She thought.

"Where did you say you were living?"

"Oh," she paused. "Denmark. "

"Travelled all day then I assume? No magic?"

"No unfortunately. I left at four this morning That's why I'm wearing Muggle clothes. Didn't want to look too out of place at the airport. Though people do dress in all styles, but wearing long crinoline skirts and cloaks kind of draws attention." The other woman nodded.

"Perhaps get something to eat then get some sleep I say, There will be a staff meeting tomorrow at nine o'clock sharp." Taya nodded. Minerva smiled and stopped at a small dark door. "We're here, this is your room." She stretched out her hand, then opened the door with a mutter of magic words. "The password is 'moonstones and chucklepuffs', but you can change it if you wish."

Taya stepped inside. Sure enough her luggage was all ready there positioned at the end of the large four poster queen size double bed. "Good night," the professor called and left before Taya could reply.

She stared around the room. It was fairly large, decorated like everywhere else in Hogwarts' a medieval design. Thick purple velvet drapes were pulled over the windows, the bare stone floor was covered in a rich intricately woven rug. Near the bed was a table covered in white linen. Positioned near the fireplace were two lounge chairs and situated between them both was a small stand positioned on top was an assortment of food and drink.

Another door leading out of the room, was where Taya supposed was the bathroom. She was correct.

"Hello," said a small squeaky voice. Taya looked around in mild surprise at hearing the unknown voice. Then she caught the sight of the mirror. A largish gilt one hanging on the wall next to the door leading to the bathroom.

"Oh," she replied.

"You look tired. Long journey?"

"Yes." Taya felt slightly foolish conversing with a mirror. She knew talking mirrors existed but never before had she seen one.

"I expect you will want to get some beauty sleep. You know, lack of sleep can cause havoc to your complexion. I recommend a nice long soothing bath. Remember to use moisturiser afterwards."

"Yes," Taya was mildly amused and gazed at her reflection smiling. The mirror chucked.

"It'll take a bit of getting used to."

"Yes it will."

"I mean exfoliating."

"Oh."

"Good for the pores. I suggest it you know. I'm good with beauty tips. Just ask." Taya turned away and noticed a yet another door smaller than the other which led into a small work room. A polished desk stood at the corner with a large over stuffed leather chair facing. Book shelves covered the walls, devoid of any books at this point. All her books and heavier items Taya couldn't carry herself would arrive tomorrow.

She dropped her cloak onto the bed and slumped down into one of those most comfortable looking chairs.

"You know, I used to live in a beauty salon," said the mirror ending it's conversation. Taya poured herself a cup of tea and ate a little sponge cake before retiring to bed.

Taya awoke early. She slept well but immediately felt consternation at the prospect of joining the other professors in the staff room. She was a little confused why she hadn't sensed Professor Snape. A pain in the pit of her belly told her something that she didn't necessarily want to here.

In one way she didn't want to see him again yet another feeling bit at her, what if he was no longer here? Perhaps he wasn't here after all, perhaps he had left, had finally found someone. She would have to ask somebody if she didn't see him soon. Fear welled up inside her then a horrible thought came to her mind. What if the potions master's finally gone mad with loneliness and pain? Oh Heavens this is silly. Must compose myself.

He might already be in there, she thought as she stopped outside the staff room door. Something lurched in her stomach. It's only butterflies, she told herself. Nerves. Only nerves. Once inside you'll be okay.

Someone brushed passed her. Taya looked up, seeing nobody she frowned then looked down, a small man hastily started through the doorway. He looked up at seeing her.

"Better hurry up dear, the Headmaster will want to start in five minutes." The small man suddenly beamed and recognised her. "Miss Matterson what a pleasant surprise to see you again." Taya watched as the small person rose a few feet off the floor and came to a stop facing her.

"Professor Flitwick, likewise." she said smiling back. He extended his hand and Taya shook it.

"Come in. Come come, make yourself at home." Taya stopped at the door way and gazed around. The tiny man hovered over to a vacant chair, it's seat propped up by a surplus amount of cushions. He sat down and rested his tiny arms on the surface of a large polished round table.

Her nervousness was still slightly evident as she stepped into the staff room. All appeared accounted for and she felt a distant uneasiness as she stepped over to the tables and everyone's gaze fell upon her.

Dumbledore was quick to change the currant mood. He stood up and spread his arms in welcome.

"Welcome, welcome, Taya," he said cheerfully. The other teachers nodded soberly in agreement. "It's a great pleasure to see you again. You remember everyone? There are a few I expect you don't." The headmaster turned and gestured to the others in the room.

"Miss Matterson our newest member of staff and our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Taya stood quietly nearest to the door way. Dumbledore frowned ever so slightly in her direction then smiled. "Come sit. Perhaps you'd like to join me for a cup of tea later and perhaps a clotted cream scone?"

"That would be nice Professor," she said.

"We'll make it early afternoon then. About half past two?"

"Yes all right."

"Splendid, splendid," muttered the headmaster rubbing his hand together earnestly.

She took a hesitant step towards the group of teachers whom were talking quietly amongst themselves all except one who was sitting by himself. For a second she turned back to look at Dumbledore, but he was now talking to someone else, a small elderly witch with a long pointed nose, someone she didn't recognise.

Taya swallowed down an unwelcome surge of dread mixed with a little excitement.

Dressed in his customary black Severus Snape sat stiffly on a sofa near the roaring fire, talking to know one. The flames reflected in his swarthy browny black eyes, perhaps a true reflection to what he may be feeling, but his face was a void. Taya frowned at herself. She could feel nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a glimmer from him.

Since it was the only free place to sit she sat down, but as far away from him as possible. Severus said nothing. He was studying his hands and was now gazing blankly at the headmaster.

"Perhaps you'd like to join Miss Matterson and myself for tea and scones later Severus?" The potions master blinked, and reacted slightly as if he had been disturbed from a dream.

"Perhaps another time Headmaster. I have a number of things to do before the students return after the holidays."

"Very well." muttered Dumbledore who then smiled over at his young relative before turning his attention to the meeting. "Welcome back everyone. I trust you all had a pleasant break. There are a number of items to discuss so I believe we should begin."

As Dumbledore spoke, Taya turned her gaze at Severus. He was tall, willowy even, and he was still slim. He could almost be described, beautiful, came the thought. In a dark, haunting, gothic kind of way if one looked close enough, beyond the sneering and sarcasm he could be attractive. It was an exact description of the man.

He looks exactly the same, she thought. I wonder if there is any truth about the Vampire thing?

She watched him, noticing the way he held himself ridged, clearly at unease. His black hair fell to his shoulders, a little silver was sprinkled at the temples, the dark hooded eyes held no clue at what he was feeling. And he's still wearing cloaks indoors, he can't be that cold all the time, it's quite warm in here, there is a blazing fire, she wondered while gazing at the sobriety of his apparel, the way his coat fastened up to his chin. She noticed just a hint of a white shirt revealed at the collar and cuffs, revealing very little skin. Hum, possibly a metaphor, not wanting to be touched, like a security blanket.

Severus Snape turned his head towards her when he realised she was staring. Words weren't needed. She smiled at him gently.

"Hello Professor," she whispered.

"Miss Matterson," said Severus getting to his feet. He stepped over to the large centre table where the majority of staff were sitting. The coldness in his voice matched the chilly stare. He quickly looked away, his attention focused on Dumbledore.

When the meeting was over, pleasantries were briefly exchanged between the old and new staff then everyone else left the room. Taya caught Severus' arm. He turned, a look of shock was quickly replaced with a sneer.

"Why have you come back here?" He demanded in the most coldest tone he could muster. Taya recoiled. His voice made something burn in her despite his abruptness. If it hadn't been for the cruel tone in his deep velvety textured voice, the sound may have caused something else even stronger to evolve within her. "I thought you were in Norway working for the Ministry."

She gave her best smile, despite the anxiety. "Well, for one thing a new DATDA teacher was needed, and yes I was in Norway, but I was called here," she shrugged. "And secondly..." She swallowed, not too sure whether to say so or not, "for you."

The reaction he gave startled her. Severus' eyes widened in shocked apprehension and he stormed out of the room, cloak billowing behind him. Taya frowned behind him. "What did I say?" She muttered more to herself than to him because Severus Snape had already gone.

Professor Dumbledore's private rooms were the same as she remembered them from her school years. She was standing looking at the phoenix who gazed back at her with large golden eyes before swooping over and settling on her shoulder. Taya looked up with a smile as the empathic bird began to sing a soothing melody.

"You still have him then?"

"Oh yes. Isn't he marvellous? Here." Dumbledore passed her a cup and saucer. Taya sat down on one of the recliners and gazed into the fire.

"He's still the same," she muttered.

"Who my dear?" Questioned the headmaster after taking a sip of tea.

"Professor Snape. Still as kind and friendly as ever." She turned and lay her tea down on the coffee table. "He's still as cold and miserable as before. Has nothing really changed since I was here?"

"Tut tut, Miss Taya, if you were still a student you may have qualified for a detention." She caught a twinkle in the elderly wizards eyes. "Not for him I believe. "

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered. I don't know. Wondered whether he got married or for all I know he could have five kids by now." She shrugged and thought, As unlikely as it sounds.

"No. He's the same old Severus Snape."

"Albus I've been meaning to ask you something?"

"Hum?"

"Why did you ask me here?"

"Ah." Dumbledore nodded and folded his hands in his lap. "We needed a new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher."

"Yes I know, but there are plenty of other people capable of that, better than me. Why didn't you give it to Professor Snape? It's well known through the student body that he's after it. It was in my time at least."

"I wanted you here," Dumbledore leaned forward adjusting his spectacles. "I've known you for years now. When you last wrote you told me you had given up your job in Norway, and was planning to come home any way. Then there was that nasty business concerning your um, Mr Hansan." The professor was quiet for a long moment.

"Yea, don't let me forget it will you?" She smiled. "He was a right ..." Dumbledore laughed lightly.

"About your favourite teacher." Taya laughed knowing exactly who the elderly man was referring to.

"What about him?"

"I've been noticing things about Professor Snape lately. He's very unsettled."

"Unsettled?"

"More so than normal. I can't get him to talk about what is bothering him. Been trying to for years you know."

"What have I got to do with it?"

"Here, have a scone," he said passing the plate. Taya smiled briefly and took one. "They are quite delicious,

"Perhaps you can talk to him?"

"Me? What makes you think I can do anything?"

"You have that ability don't you?" Taya gazed down at the floor.

"I'm still burdened with empathy. It's faded, but I think he's shielding himself from me." He nodded.

"Thought as much. Severus Snape has a will the strength of iron but beneath it..." He took another scone. "He loves you."

"He what?" Taya stood up and laughed. "Professor Snape told you that? Are you sure he wasn't just having you on?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"I don't think so. Even so I would like to ask a request of you my dear."

"I think I can guess. I'm free, unattached, and have this curse." Taya slumped down into the chair.

"Do you have any feelings for the man?"

"Ah, you are a match maker now are you, Uncle Albus?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow then a slight smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"Perhaps I am."

"My feeling aren't important where Severus...um, I mean Professor Snape is concerned. He'll deny me whatever I do."

"You could try?"

"If I striped naked and ran through the halls wearing only pink ribbons and bells he probably wouldn't bat an eye lid." Dumbledore laughed lightly.

"I'm sure he'd notice that. I'm not suggesting you try it mind you."

"He's not interested Uncle Albus."

"I think he just...well, scared."

"Yes, but how do I get through to him?"

"With tact, delicacy, and patience. He's been alone for far to long."

She got up to leave but felt a hand on her arm.

"Taya do this for yourself and Severus not because of me." He swallowed. "Do you love him?"

She sighed deeply and her hand wandered up to her head, lightly massaging her temples.

"Yes I do."

"Then that's all that is needed. Time, patience and love." Taya nodded. "Oh and welcome back to Hogwarts."

"Thanks Professor." Dumbledore leaned forward and embraced her. "I've missed you, you know."

"I've missed you too." She lightly kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, and thanks for the tea and scones."

"Go run along dear. I've got paper work to finish." Taya turned to leave but turned back.

"Why all this interest in Severus Snape in the first place Albus?" Dumbledore smiled.

"Let's just say that a long time ago Severus Snape came to me for help. Now, he's not the kind of man to ask for help unless he was so desperate that his very life depended on it. I of cause granted him that help and he's been at Hogwarts ever since. I'm kind of fond of him. He has had a terrible past."

"Oh?"

"Severus was a Death Eater long before he was a teacher."

"Oh my God. How could you ever let such a-" She was horrified. The phoenix fluttered off her shoulder and landed on Dumbledore's desk.

"He was drawn into it for reasons I'm not really familiar. I know that he lived with a family of Death Eaters for a while as a boy but... I believe Severus Snape had a good enough reason. Not because he wanted fame, glory, revenge, perhaps it came into it, but from what I can gather it was the only family he ever really had. He may not look like it but Severus is a sensitive soul. Under all that armour." Her eyebrows flew up in amazement.

"I don't understand."

"I really shouldn't be telling you this but since...Well Severus grew up in a Muggle orphanage for a time then ended up living with that family who had a grown up son. A terrible place it was, depravity, the worst kind, and they were the blackest of dark witches and wizards there were. Those were dark times you know. Many orphan children ended up living in dark wizarding families. We brought him here, to Hogwarts, gave him an education gave him choices." Dumbledore sighed deeply. "Unfortunately he picked the wrong ones. But neither the less here he is now."

"Has he ever talked to you about his time as a Death Eater?"

"Very little. No personal information. For a time he was a spy for us, until Voldemort's defeat. You are going to have to ask him. I have no more information to tell." Taya smiled and bid farewell for the afternoon.

Her days at Hogwarts were pleasant enough, the children mostly behaved themselves and she found that she enjoyed their company as well as the other teachers. But the one person she had vowed to get closer too even if perhaps a mutual understanding avoided her at all costs.

He only spoke to her in the confinements of their work subjects, nothing was discussed on a personal level.

As her sixth year class left one student stopped and gazed up at her, the girl's clear blue eyes settled onto Taya's with a questioning gaze.

"Miss, do you love him?" Came an unexpected question. Taya's own eyes widened, then she forced surprise to leave her face.

"Love who Miss Appletoff? Who are you referring to?" The girl smiled weakly.

"Professor Snape, Miss." Taya was slightly taken aback. How could one of her students possibly know about her feeling for Severus? She pondered for a moment. Had the girl seen an adoring expression on her face when talking to him? Surely not. Taya kept her emotions in check when at least out in public view.

"Oh-" She frowned at herself and rubbed her head. After a moment or too she looked directly at the sixteen year old blond haired girl staring with a puzzled expression. "You shouldn't be asking question's like that," commented Taya angrily as she began retrieving her books.

The girl began to turn away.

"Wait, your telepathic aren't you?"

"Yes Miss."

"Wasn't your grandmother the famous aura Madame Teresiana Appletoff?"

"Yes, Miss. She was. I've inherited some of her abilities."

"Then you should know not to read other people's minds."

The girl nodded and gazed at the floor. "Off you go now. I have a lot to do, and keep your mind on your own business." As the girl went to step through the door way Taya called out, "I would appreciate it if you didn't mention this or you might find yourself loosing a rather excess amount of house points." She didn't like to sound sharp with any of the students but when her personal feelings were in jeopardy of being spread around the school she had no choice.

She watched her go and plonked herself down behind the desk. Lucy Appletoff had addressed a question she had began to wonder herself lately. He was still as miserable, stubborn and nasty as she remembered him and she still loved him, perhaps even more so despite his deliberate avoidance's. What was she going to do about Severus? She sighed deeply and absently slid a quill between her fingers, caressing the feather.

Her mind seemed to wander into a fantasy, a dream that could only be realised if she took the step now. Severus Snape would never take it upon himself to turn to her. She knew then that it was completely up to her to win him over, to eradicate the self inflicted torture he was forever projecting onto himself, and causing grievance on others, namely herself.

She pulled herself out of her day dream and stood up. In her mind she was debating on what to do next.

She had left him alone as he had requested. It had been four weeks since Taya arrived at Hogwarts. She marvelled on how he managed to keep his feelings locked inside when previously, the battering of uncontrolled waves of raw emotion was quite literally pounded into her brain, but now after so long, his control was faltering. She sensed that, and he was struggling.

She too was struggling, struggling between releasing him from his hellish prison of torment and the growing desperation for his touch. She would achieve neither if she left him to his own devices.

Taya straightened her robes, ran a hand through her untamed hair and left the class room. She proceeding down the deserted corridor. Most of the students by now were safely in their common rooms or dormitories, but a few mingled here or there. There were a couple in the great hall.

It was getting late. Tea time was less than an hour away she had time to do what she must and she had put her heart into succeeding.

By the time she got to the dungeons she wondered whether Severus would still be inside. Sure enough he was sat deep in concentration at his desk evidently marking student assignments. He didn't look up when she quietly entered the room and stood silently near the door, a distance from him. She was the first to break the uncomfortable silence.

"Severus, we need to talk," she whispered.

"Did Dumbledore send you? He has a penchant for offering me assistance." Severus frowned. "That which I don't need!" He added a little too louder than he actually ment to.

"No," she whispered. A little white lie wouldn't hurt and besides, she mainly came to visit him because she wanted to anyway.

"I've nothing to say," he murmured without looking up.

"But I do." There was a long silence before Severus finally lifted his head and gazed at her through narrowed eyes.

Gods, she's beautiful, he thought. His tone of voice was different to the one in his head. "Then say it, but be swift."

"I want to show you something."

"Can't you see I am busy. I have papers to mark," he said scowling with indigence. She smiled weakly and walked passed the rows of empty school desks stopping only when she came to his. She reached out her hand and lightly stroked his cheek. Severus recoiled in alarm, the quill pen he was holding slid from his hand and dropped to the floor and he nearly sent flying the red bottle of ink in his haste to pull away.

"Does it really cause you that much distress?" He swallowed, fighting the irrational rush of fear as it quickly rose and settled in the pit of his stomach. "Even a simple touch," she whispered with a sad smile.

She knelt down beside him to retrieve the quill, then placed it onto the surface of his desk. Sensing his unease at her closeness she drew a step back when she saw the eyes. Her heart seemed to press deeper into her chest, thumping madly.

The maternal instinct to reach out and comfort him took a hold of her, Taya struggled to subdue it while feeling a subtle yet familiar tugging at her soul and brain. He really was that scared she realised.

"Why are you afraid of me? The last thing I want to do is scare the living day lights out of you." He remained quite and picked up the quill, absently stabbing the nib onto blotting paper. After a time he looked up, but avoided eye contact.

"What would you have me say Miss Matterson?"

Why did he feel like this? This fear. In his dreams he allowed her to touch him anywhere but in reality... that was quite a different matter altogether.

"I don't know."

There was silence, only the sound of birdsong drifting through a high up narrow window and the far away voices of children as they passed in the corridors. Severus Snape looked up expecting to see that she had left him in peace. He scowled in remorse when he saw that she was still standing there. Her hands clasped leisurely in front of her.

"Don't be too surprised that I don't immediately come running into your arms," he murmured sarcastically.

"I wouldn't dream of it.," she said with a smile. "Look, why do you keep shutting people out when they want to help you?"

"You really don't have any idea, do you my dear? Any inkling. Have you not heard the rumours? I'm sure you heard a few while as a student here yourself. Shall I list them?

"You really don't have to-"

"I'm a vampire, had a troubled childhood, I eat children - that is a rather more imaginative idea don't you think? My mother was a fallen angel, I'm a Death Eater, I'm a spy, I've raped, maimed and murdered. My mother was bewitched by fairies. A lost love. There are many others that I have heard through the years, some quite remarkable, often amusing. Speculation about me doesn't get you anywhere Miss Matterson."

"I don't believe half about what they say, you deliberately keep it that way so no one can touch you. Why?"

"Because there are things no one should ever know. Even you. You've seen into me, however briefly. I do not wish to push my own experiences on another."

"Even a friend. Sometimes it helps to talk about-"

"Especially a friend. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy, the life I have had to endure." Maybe perhaps Sirius Black, he pondered.

"Severus, please let me into your world.," she whispered. He got up and edged as far away as possible then stopped.

"If I ever even contemplated letting you see me for who I really am I'm not sure that you could...handle it. Or I for that matter," he murmured. "I can't."

"Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be fair on you. You remember what happened?"

"Well, yes, but that was years ago, I've grown since then. I'm not a child any more. I think I'm prepared. I wasn't then." She took a step closer and reached out brushing cautious fingers to his lips. His skin felt like ice. For a second she felt the onslaught of horrifying, angry/bitter feelings and tragic memories. She recoiled in disgust.

"You see," muttered the professor. She realised that it had taken a great deal of strength to let her see that much into his mind.

Mentally she shrugged off the repulsive images and forced herself to grasp his shoulders pulling him closer and slide her hands over the heavy black fabric that covered his chest. His eyes were wide, lips parted slightly. She heard his breath catch in his throat.

For a second he did nothing, and he made her wonder briefly if he actually enjoyed the feeling of her hands on him, but apparently not because he twisted out her grasp and hastily pulled his cloak around himself, gazed at her for a moment perhaps to long because he swiftly left the potions classroom without saying another word.

Not long after he had left Taya dropped down into the chair and began to cry softly for the broken man who in her soul she heard weeping night after night. How would she ever get through to him? How could she ever ease those images in her mind and smother her own self doubts? How would she ever shatter the wall he built around himself and break him away from sexual repression? It would do him the world of good to let out all that frustration if only he would let her help.

She wiped her eyes and was preparing to leave when something caught her attention. She carefully slid the envelope from under the heavy books resting on the table turned it over in her hand and noticed in surprise it was addressed to her.

Hastily she pocketed it and left for her quarters.