Disclaimer: As you are probably well aware of, I DO NOT own Ranma ½, a bunch of rich people do. Suing me will result in a gum drop and an overdue phone bill. You've been warned!
Chapter 2
The Trouble with Amazons
The trio awoke with the sun. After a quick, simple breakfast they began packing.
"You ready?" Ranma asked, shouldering her backpack.
Ryouga nodded as he shoved a few last minute items into his own pack before putting it on.
Ranma turned to see her father, still in panda form and following the Guide as he took them out of the valley. She couldn't suppress a quick chuckle; the sight of a gi wearing panda with a backpack was still an amusing sight.
The midmorning sun was warm, pushing back the chilly air of the previous night. If the cloudless sky was any indication, they wouldn't have to worry about inclement weather anytime soon.
Ryouga had trailed behind the adults with Ranma, glancing over at her every few minutes. After a long silence, he finally spoke. "So, um, how do you feel about your curse?"
"How do you think I feel!" she snapped.
He winced. Nice one, Ryouga. How would you feel being cursed?
Seeing the hurt look on his face, she took a deep breath and calmed down. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't mean to upset me." Ranma looked down at her form. "I feel…I guess devastated would be a good word. Weak also fits in there somewhere…"
"Weak? Aren't you the one that lifted me up that cliff with one arm?"
"Girls are weak, stupid, and silly," she recited, counting off on her fingers.
It almost sounds like she's quoting someone… Ryouga glanced suspiciously at Genma for a second. "Well, it really could have been worse, you know. I mean, at least you have a beautiful body, right?" He mentally slapped himself as soon as the words left his mouth. Did I just tell her she had a beautiful body?
Ranma looked like she was about to say something, but stopped and sniffed the air. Her stomach started growling almost immediately, reminding her of their meager breakfast. "Mmm," she muttered. "I wonder what's cookin'?"
Over the next hill, they saw a vast village spread beneath them. It was fairly large, covering a significant portion of the valley. It seemed to be completely self-contained with farms, homes, and various other structures that looked like shops and temples.
The Guide began speaking. "Oh sirs, we now arrive in Joketsuzoku- town of Amazon womans." He gestured towards two women fighting on a giant log suspended a few feet over the ground. One woman was very large and burly, the other small and quite beautiful, with long lavender hair that flowed down her back. She held a brightly colored bonbori in each hand. "We very lucky! Today the womans have tournament."
Ranma ignored him and ran over to a table covered with food of all kinds and immediately dug in, her father joining a moment later.
Ryouga was more hesitant. "Um, Ranma? Are you sure it's ok to eat this?"
Unnoticed by them, the lavender haired Amazon easily defeated the other woman and turned to see her prize being consumed by an outsider. Angry, she tossed one of her bonbori's at Ranma.
Sensing the incoming weapon, Ranma jumped out of the way, narrowly avoiding it as it smashed half of the table.
The Amazon marched up to her and started yelling in Mandarin.
"Xian Pu say you eating her prize," the Guide said, translating for them. "She say she win championship."
"Shampoo?" Hmm, what an odd name. Ranma stood up and looked at her confidently. "Well then, if I defeat you, you've got no problem, right?"
***
Ryouga had a bad feeling about this as he watched Shampoo and Ranma take their positions on the log.
After a moment, Shampoo charged. Ranma, however, still stood calmly with her eyes closed, seemingly unaware of any danger. After a few more agonizing moments, it still seemed like she was oblivious to the fierce female warrior who was almost upon her.
W- what is she doing? She'll be killed! "Ranma!" he shouted, leaping up to the log and landing between his friend and the angered Amazon.
Too late to stop, Shampoo crashed into Ryouga. She blinked a couple of times and then collapsed, falling off the log.
He turned to Ranma. "Are you alr- oof!" He doubled over as she punched him in the stomach
The very upset redhead glared at him. "What did you do that for?"
Ryouga struggled to take a breath. "I thought…you looked like you needed…" He trailed off.
"I'm not defenseless you know- I'm a guy, damn it! I knew what I was doing!" With that, she stomped away in a huff.
He jumped down and followed her, but stopped when he saw the Amazon trying to stumble to her feet. Ryouga helped her up. "I'm sorry, miss. I didn't mean to…"
Suddenly, Shampoo grabbed him and planted her lips against his. His eyes widened in shock.
She pulled away after a moment. "Wo ai ni," Shampoo whispered to him.
The Guide walked up and patted him on the back. "Ooh, sir, that was Kiss of Marriage. Amazon womans must marry any outsider male who defeat them in combat!"
"What?!" Ryouga yelled, unsuccessfully trying to pry her off of him. "I didn't defeat her- she just kind of ran into me!"
Ranma finished a cob of corn and reached for another. "Hey, congratulations buddy!"
"Shut up, Ranma!"
Shampoo finally tore her loving stare away from Ryouga and noticed her prize was still being consumed. With a battle cry, she charged her again.
This time, Ranma delivered a simple kick that knocked her back ten feet before turning back to the feast she believed she had just won. "Mmm, Ryouga, you've gotta try these Deviled Eggs! They're- huh?"
Shampoo glared at her as she steadily walked towards Ranma. When she reached her, she softly kissed her on the cheek.
Ranma looked confused. "What? I can't marry you!"
The Guide started screaming. "Run sirs! Run run run!" Grabbing Ranma's hand, he took off running as fast as possible. Ryouga and Genma were quick to follow.
Ranma was upset about all the food she left behind. "Hey, what's going on?"
"That one give you Kiss of Death! Is promise to chase to ends of Earth and kill! Oh, very terrible tragedy, sirs!" A spear flew by, embedding itself in a tree besides them. "Very terrible!"
Ranma noticed Ryouga besides her. "What are you running for, lover boy? Isn't she your fiancée?"
He looked at her like she was insane. "Are you crazy? I'm not marrying her!"
"Love em' and leave em', eh? Too bad, Ryouga…" she said with a mischievous smirk. "She sure is cute!"
"Shut up, Ranma…"
One week later
Ranma and Ryouga quickly sprinted through the heavy wooden door, slamming it shut behind them.
Ryouga tried to catch his breath. "I…don't know…how much longer…I can keep this up."
She glared at him. "At least she doesn't want to kill you!"
They quieted down and ducked as Shampoo ran by outside, passing the large display window beside them.
They breathed a sigh of relief as she passed. Ryouga looked at Ranma, a hint of worry crossing his features. "Do you think your dad's in danger?"
"Feh- are you kidding? He's probably still at that 'All you Can Eat Ramen' buffet."
As they caught their breaths, Ranma glanced around and noticed they were in a clothing shop- one of the many assorted shops that dotted the port. She looked down at her somewhat worn gi. "Maybe I should pick up a change of clothes…" As she browsed the selection, she noticed Ryouga looking around as well.
Ranma turned to him after grabbing a couple of items. "I'm going to go try these on, so stay put." A few minutes later, she was behind the changing curtain half nude when someone stepped into the area with her.
"Excuse me sir, is this the bathroom?"
"Ryouga," she replied calmly. "Didn't I tell you to stay put?"
"EEP!" Ryouga gasped, realizing where he was. He ran out of the small space as fast as he could. "Sorrysorrysorry!"
She watched him go, allowing herself a chuckle while she finished changing.
A still red-faced Ryouga was waiting for her when she returned. She ignored his embarrassment, hoping to just drop it. "So, what do you think?" Ranma asked, gesturing at her new outfit.
Ryouga nodded his approval of the simple outfit, consisting of black pants and a red, sleeveless shirt. Though baggy, the outfit emphasized her curves more then the gi did. He wondered if she even noticed. Probably not. "Lookin' good. What about me?"
Ranma noticed that Ryouga was now wearing a plain yellow jerkin over his navy blue shirt. "Nice- matches your bandanna pretty well."
There was a moment of silence between them before the opposite wall crashed in and a familiar, chirpy voice sang out. "Airen!" Shampoo looked from Ryouga to his companion and her eyes hardened. "Ranma! You I kill!"
"Oh great…" they muttered in unison.