To Eat Death or Not to Eat Death? That is the Question.
(A tale of three boys' Rite of Passage)
Pen Name: PhoenixTear
Email: PhoenixTear2003@yahoo.com
Category: Romance/Humor (Slash)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, don't imply.
Pairing: Lucius/Severus Snape and Harry/Draco
Interlude: Blood and Goodbye
Draco paced in the middle of the quidditich field. Darkness surrounded him on all sides as his own constellation loomed above his head. Draco found it ironic that the Harry told him to meet him here on the field where it all began. He sat down in the place he formerly mocked the school population for being unaware of what really goes on. He rolled up his sleeve. Thin sliver lines patterned his arm. He rarely paid attention to them now. He pulled down the black material of his Jumper and opened his palm instead. There it was, the one possession he treasured more than anything in the world. He traced the thin scar. It was comforting to have it there. It was more comforting to know Harry held the same one. It wouldn't be comforting when they'd have to kill each other. Shedding the blood of the same person you shared it with. Maybe the old tradition of blood brothers was silly to most people but it was a bond. A tighter bond then one would think. But then again they did share other fluids as well.
Draco chuckled at this thought. Somehow it wore away the truth of it all. It made him forget why he was really sitting on this bloody field. Everything was crashing down on him. He could feel it coming closer with every step Harry took, every breath he breathed, every second that wore time away. School was over and so were they. One final night together before they took their paths. Neither one had mentioned the "rules" all year. Draco tried to hold this as meaning they didn't matter. Instead he felt as if it scarified them. If Harry would've been someone else or Draco had been someone else, it wouldn't be this way. Draco wished he never had wanted to fuck Harry Potter in the first place. What had it brought him? *My life. Living. Maybe Happiness when I didn't have to think about this. Not to mention a good shag.* Bells sounded from a tower - Midnight. Draco could hear familiar footsteps behind him and he wished he didn't. "Right on time, Potter."
Harry didn't sit when he reached Draco. He hesitated for a moment gathering strength. Draco thought he heard him test his voice, but it came out clear and strong. "Stand up Draco. You're going to make me be the one to do this. I'm not doing it sitting." Draco was surprised at the chill on Harry's voice and stood.
"Harry," he tried.
"Draco shut up. Don't try to do that to me. Look we both knew and *agreed* to the rules. We're over."
Draco laughed. "Wow, Potter you didn't even use *its. *" Harry didn't say anything. "I guess that's what we meant though. Not *its* over but *we're* over," Draco said with a smirk. "I've got to hand it do you, you did it a cold as you could. I'm impressed. See you on the battlefield. I wonder which of us will die." Draco walked away and left Harry in his previous position. Standing on the Quidditich field with his constellation hanging over Harry. He hoped he thought of him whenever he saw it. He hoped it hurt. He hoped he'd be the one to die and not Harry.
~*.*~
"Harry stop pacing already. You're wearing treads in the rug," Ron said grabbing a hold of his best friend. Harry's face was white and worry hung in his brow. "Calm yourself and stop pacing. Its making me dizzy watching you." Harry kissed Ron full on the lips. "Harry I told you already. I'm *not* sleeping with you so he can catch it and break up with you."
Harry put his head on Ron's shoulder and sighed. "This is all your fault Ron. You should've just kissed me back in the third year. We would've had this fantastic romance. and I'd still hate Draco Malfoy. I wouldn't have thrown up after dinner. I wouldn't have this fucking scar on my hand. Why do I have to so many meaningful scars?" Harry sighed again. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love him and now I have to do this. Stupid Malfoy. Stupid Voldemort. You should've kissed me Ron."
"Harry maybe you don't have to," Ron offered.
"Ron you *supported* me when I made the rules."
"Yeah, well I didn't know Draco then."
Harry began to pace again. "Ron. Oh Merlin. Ron, I don't need you to be saying this *now.* Have you forgotten he's going to be a deatheater? Have you forgotten I going to die in a few months? Have you forgotten Lucius? Ron I have to walk out there in twenty minutes and tell him I never want to see him again. Please. I don't need anymore doubts. Plus he's probably going to try to sleep with me and if I give in then I might as well not even tell him or go."
Ron grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "Stop pacing *now.* And you are *not* going to die." Ron looked at his frantic raven-haired friend. "What do you mean if you sleep with him? Aren't you two going to spend your last night together?"
Harry looked at Ron like he was crazy. "*No.* Ron you don't understand what it'll be like." Harry dropped down onto the scarlet couch by the fire and stared into the orange flames. "He'll say he loves me and it'll be impossible to leave him. I'm not that strong. I'm going have to be cold. I have to make him angry."
"Are you sure it has to be like that," Ron asked unsure. Harry nodded.
~*.*~
The air was damp and the grass was wet from an earlier shower that day. All the clouds had disappeared and the stars shone brightly above him. His breath caught in his throat as he neared the field. Draco stood with his back to Harry. Light of the moon hung in the sliver-white strands. If it weren't for his pale skin and hair Draco would have blended into the night. Harry already knew how the stars would reflect in those eyes.
Harry took a step back. It'd be best not to even come. Harry stilled as he watched Draco sit down on the grass. This felt all too familiar his heart stopped when Draco rolled up his sleeve. It had taken months to sort out Draco's mutilation problem. The answer had been so unusual. Harry watched him careful expecting Draco to pull out a razor blade. Instead he rolled down the sleeve and opened his palm. Harry could see Draco trace a finger down what he knew was a scar across his hand. Harry brought up his hand and did the same. They were connected. Harry thought about that night. He closed his eyes remembering the awful sight.
There Draco was hiding in a broom closet, blood and tears equally flowing. Harry pulled out the wide-eyed boy and pushed him into the nearest bathroom. Draco was worse that Harry ever saw him and he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't say a word as he cleaned Draco and healed the slashes. He wiped the tears away and kissed the new ones. Next he took a hold of Draco's hand. He opened his clasped fingers and took the razor that Draco held so tightly. He knew Draco expected him to throw it away like so many times and lecture him. Harry held it and touched the sharp side of the blade. It was warm and a thin layer of blood dirtied it. Harry thought in was cruel that with some water the blade would be unmarked and yet it's work left so many marks. He pressed his fingertip to it and a pinpoint of blood oozed to the surface. Draco watched him curiously. Harry took the blade and put it to his other hand. Draco grabbed a hold of his wrist stopping him.
"What are you doing," Draco asked fearful. Harry pulled Draco's hand off his wrist and kissed him tenderly as if to say trust me. He turned back to the blade and his palm. He drew diagonal line of crimson with the steel. Harry took Draco's hand and did the same. He interlaced his fingers with Draco's, their blood meeting and mixing, flowing into each other. "Why are you doing this," Draco asked.
Harry looked at their hands. "No matter what I say, or do you won't stop hurting yourself. You don't understand that every time you're hurting me too. I'm more selfish than you think. I want you to stop so you'll be healthy sure. But I more so want you to stop because every time you bleed and I find you my heart bleeds. I know it sounds stupid." Draco opened his mouth to speak but Harry kissed it and then pulled back to place a finger over it with his other hand. "Shhh. Next time you hurt yourself remember that you're not the only one bleeding. I am too, and now my blood is mixed with yours."
~*.*~
Harry came back to the present. He remember how they made love there in the bathroom for the first time. He hadn't found Draco with a razor again either. He let his hand fall to his side. *If he stays with me then it'll only be worse.* The bells tolled as he reached Draco.
"Right on time, Potter," Draco said. Harry then realized he wasn't the only one trying to be strong. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was surprised when he did speak. *I have to be strong. I have to make him hate me.*
~*.*~
".I wonder which one of us will die." Harry watched Draco walk away until he disappeared. Harry laid down on the field. He watched the constellations rotate. He watched Draco the dragon. *I'll never be able to forget him. The heavens will always be there." Tears rolled down his cheek as sleep settled in.
Pen Name: PhoenixTear
Email: PhoenixTear2003@yahoo.com
Category: Romance/Humor (Slash)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, don't imply.
Pairing: Lucius/Severus Snape and Harry/Draco
Interlude: Blood and Goodbye
Draco paced in the middle of the quidditich field. Darkness surrounded him on all sides as his own constellation loomed above his head. Draco found it ironic that the Harry told him to meet him here on the field where it all began. He sat down in the place he formerly mocked the school population for being unaware of what really goes on. He rolled up his sleeve. Thin sliver lines patterned his arm. He rarely paid attention to them now. He pulled down the black material of his Jumper and opened his palm instead. There it was, the one possession he treasured more than anything in the world. He traced the thin scar. It was comforting to have it there. It was more comforting to know Harry held the same one. It wouldn't be comforting when they'd have to kill each other. Shedding the blood of the same person you shared it with. Maybe the old tradition of blood brothers was silly to most people but it was a bond. A tighter bond then one would think. But then again they did share other fluids as well.
Draco chuckled at this thought. Somehow it wore away the truth of it all. It made him forget why he was really sitting on this bloody field. Everything was crashing down on him. He could feel it coming closer with every step Harry took, every breath he breathed, every second that wore time away. School was over and so were they. One final night together before they took their paths. Neither one had mentioned the "rules" all year. Draco tried to hold this as meaning they didn't matter. Instead he felt as if it scarified them. If Harry would've been someone else or Draco had been someone else, it wouldn't be this way. Draco wished he never had wanted to fuck Harry Potter in the first place. What had it brought him? *My life. Living. Maybe Happiness when I didn't have to think about this. Not to mention a good shag.* Bells sounded from a tower - Midnight. Draco could hear familiar footsteps behind him and he wished he didn't. "Right on time, Potter."
Harry didn't sit when he reached Draco. He hesitated for a moment gathering strength. Draco thought he heard him test his voice, but it came out clear and strong. "Stand up Draco. You're going to make me be the one to do this. I'm not doing it sitting." Draco was surprised at the chill on Harry's voice and stood.
"Harry," he tried.
"Draco shut up. Don't try to do that to me. Look we both knew and *agreed* to the rules. We're over."
Draco laughed. "Wow, Potter you didn't even use *its. *" Harry didn't say anything. "I guess that's what we meant though. Not *its* over but *we're* over," Draco said with a smirk. "I've got to hand it do you, you did it a cold as you could. I'm impressed. See you on the battlefield. I wonder which of us will die." Draco walked away and left Harry in his previous position. Standing on the Quidditich field with his constellation hanging over Harry. He hoped he thought of him whenever he saw it. He hoped it hurt. He hoped he'd be the one to die and not Harry.
~*.*~
"Harry stop pacing already. You're wearing treads in the rug," Ron said grabbing a hold of his best friend. Harry's face was white and worry hung in his brow. "Calm yourself and stop pacing. Its making me dizzy watching you." Harry kissed Ron full on the lips. "Harry I told you already. I'm *not* sleeping with you so he can catch it and break up with you."
Harry put his head on Ron's shoulder and sighed. "This is all your fault Ron. You should've just kissed me back in the third year. We would've had this fantastic romance. and I'd still hate Draco Malfoy. I wouldn't have thrown up after dinner. I wouldn't have this fucking scar on my hand. Why do I have to so many meaningful scars?" Harry sighed again. "I don't know how I'm going to do this. I love him and now I have to do this. Stupid Malfoy. Stupid Voldemort. You should've kissed me Ron."
"Harry maybe you don't have to," Ron offered.
"Ron you *supported* me when I made the rules."
"Yeah, well I didn't know Draco then."
Harry began to pace again. "Ron. Oh Merlin. Ron, I don't need you to be saying this *now.* Have you forgotten he's going to be a deatheater? Have you forgotten I going to die in a few months? Have you forgotten Lucius? Ron I have to walk out there in twenty minutes and tell him I never want to see him again. Please. I don't need anymore doubts. Plus he's probably going to try to sleep with me and if I give in then I might as well not even tell him or go."
Ron grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "Stop pacing *now.* And you are *not* going to die." Ron looked at his frantic raven-haired friend. "What do you mean if you sleep with him? Aren't you two going to spend your last night together?"
Harry looked at Ron like he was crazy. "*No.* Ron you don't understand what it'll be like." Harry dropped down onto the scarlet couch by the fire and stared into the orange flames. "He'll say he loves me and it'll be impossible to leave him. I'm not that strong. I'm going have to be cold. I have to make him angry."
"Are you sure it has to be like that," Ron asked unsure. Harry nodded.
~*.*~
The air was damp and the grass was wet from an earlier shower that day. All the clouds had disappeared and the stars shone brightly above him. His breath caught in his throat as he neared the field. Draco stood with his back to Harry. Light of the moon hung in the sliver-white strands. If it weren't for his pale skin and hair Draco would have blended into the night. Harry already knew how the stars would reflect in those eyes.
Harry took a step back. It'd be best not to even come. Harry stilled as he watched Draco sit down on the grass. This felt all too familiar his heart stopped when Draco rolled up his sleeve. It had taken months to sort out Draco's mutilation problem. The answer had been so unusual. Harry watched him careful expecting Draco to pull out a razor blade. Instead he rolled down the sleeve and opened his palm. Harry could see Draco trace a finger down what he knew was a scar across his hand. Harry brought up his hand and did the same. They were connected. Harry thought about that night. He closed his eyes remembering the awful sight.
There Draco was hiding in a broom closet, blood and tears equally flowing. Harry pulled out the wide-eyed boy and pushed him into the nearest bathroom. Draco was worse that Harry ever saw him and he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't say a word as he cleaned Draco and healed the slashes. He wiped the tears away and kissed the new ones. Next he took a hold of Draco's hand. He opened his clasped fingers and took the razor that Draco held so tightly. He knew Draco expected him to throw it away like so many times and lecture him. Harry held it and touched the sharp side of the blade. It was warm and a thin layer of blood dirtied it. Harry thought in was cruel that with some water the blade would be unmarked and yet it's work left so many marks. He pressed his fingertip to it and a pinpoint of blood oozed to the surface. Draco watched him curiously. Harry took the blade and put it to his other hand. Draco grabbed a hold of his wrist stopping him.
"What are you doing," Draco asked fearful. Harry pulled Draco's hand off his wrist and kissed him tenderly as if to say trust me. He turned back to the blade and his palm. He drew diagonal line of crimson with the steel. Harry took Draco's hand and did the same. He interlaced his fingers with Draco's, their blood meeting and mixing, flowing into each other. "Why are you doing this," Draco asked.
Harry looked at their hands. "No matter what I say, or do you won't stop hurting yourself. You don't understand that every time you're hurting me too. I'm more selfish than you think. I want you to stop so you'll be healthy sure. But I more so want you to stop because every time you bleed and I find you my heart bleeds. I know it sounds stupid." Draco opened his mouth to speak but Harry kissed it and then pulled back to place a finger over it with his other hand. "Shhh. Next time you hurt yourself remember that you're not the only one bleeding. I am too, and now my blood is mixed with yours."
~*.*~
Harry came back to the present. He remember how they made love there in the bathroom for the first time. He hadn't found Draco with a razor again either. He let his hand fall to his side. *If he stays with me then it'll only be worse.* The bells tolled as he reached Draco.
"Right on time, Potter," Draco said. Harry then realized he wasn't the only one trying to be strong. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was surprised when he did speak. *I have to be strong. I have to make him hate me.*
~*.*~
".I wonder which one of us will die." Harry watched Draco walk away until he disappeared. Harry laid down on the field. He watched the constellations rotate. He watched Draco the dragon. *I'll never be able to forget him. The heavens will always be there." Tears rolled down his cheek as sleep settled in.