January 8th-10th, 2002
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Starts right after last one.
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When they had finished making love for the first time in just over six years, Doug cradled Carol in his arms. Carol didn't want to fall asleep because even though he had nowhere to go, she was still afraid of waking up without him. Doug chuckled.
"I think I have teeth marks on my shoulder." He said and glanced down, trying to see. She laughed quietly and brushed her fingers against the marks she had left on his shoulder.
"I had to be quiet somehow or the girls would wake up and be scared to death." She said. He chuckled and she buried her face into his chest, smiling.
"Does this bed still bother you?" He asked and looked down at her, grinning. She lifted her face towards his and smiled.
"Not really, now that we have claimed it as ours." She said. He chuckled and kissed her nose. He pulled away and became somewhat serious.
"I wanted to ask you something." He said. She nodded, feeling her stomach churn at his seriousness. "I guess it's really not my business, but I uh.....Did you ever sleep with anyone else?" He asked. She stared up at him, not sure how she wanted to answer that. On one hand she felt ashamed, but on the other...it was the truth.
"No, I didn't." He nodded and felt relieved. "I just...it was hard enough to raise two baby girls all by myself. I didn't have time to look for a boyfriend." She paused. "And when they were a little older and I felt it was okay for me to look again, I just...I couldn't. First of all I didn't really want to have to explain to a set of three-year-olds why I was having a man spend the night and second of all, every time I looked at Kate, I couldn't forget you." She said. Doug bent his head and pressed his lips to hers, letting them linger. Then he pulled away.
"This may be selfish of me," He said, "But I'm glad." Carol smiled and looked down at her fingers that were splayed across his chest.
"Did you sleep with anybody besides Jo and the other woman?" She asked quietly, almost sure he had. Doug cleared his throat.
"No, I didn't." He said. She looked up at him and realized he was telling the truth. "When you left I got drunk off my ass that night, but I didn't take any women home with me. Instead I went to the ER and slept it off. When I woke up Mark gave me a bit of a lecture and I had the entire day to think about everything that had happened. What I did to you, again, and how you left. Then how I went and got drunk. And I realized that I hated myself more than I ever had before because I made you leave. I knew that I couldn't go on living the way I was. So I stopped drinking and stopped womanizing." Carol brushed her fingers against his jaw.
"Wasn't it hard?" She asked.
"The drinking part was, because I still hated myself because you had left. And I still wanted to forget. Giving up the women wasn't so hard because you made me realize how much I wanted you and nobody else." Carol shivered and Doug pulled the covers up to their shoulders, even though they both knew she really wasn't cold. "But I also knew if I didn't stop drinking completely, it wouldn't be so hard to refuse the women. So I just stopped everything and didn't go to bars. I moved out of my apartment and bought this place because it needed fixed up and it gave me something to do, to take my mind off things. Those first two years I worked a lot and when I wasn't working I worked on the house. I didn't even get another girlfriend until about two years after you left. I finally felt like I could try to have a relationship with someone. Amy and I only lasted about four months because she was just a ploy to try to get over you. I didn't really care about her as much as I should have. So I ended it. By then I had made it to the point where I could drink again, as long as I did it only socially when I was with other people, like Mark for instance, and I knew my limit." He paused and looked down at her. She just watched him, not judging, so he continued on.
"After awhile, I got the idea to make a pedes room in the ER. So I started working on that. I threw myself into that and Jeanie helped me. And then when I wasn't looking for romance, there was Jo. Since she was a new doctor at the hospital, we worked a bit together with my pedes wing and her being a pedes doctor. And then it just continued from there."
"You loved her a lot, didn't you?" Carol asked quietly. He sighed and looked down at her.
"I did." He paused. "But I knew that I wasn't the one for her. I talked to her the other day and she's already dating somebody new. I'm happy for her." He paused. "You should meet her sometime." Carol remained silent. "I know you don't want to, right now, but I really do think you could be friends. She's a wonderful person, Carol."
"I don't doubt it." Carol said. Doug nodded.
"I understand." He said and ran his fingers through her curls. "But I just want you to remember who is here, with me, now. If I had thought staying with her was the best thing, I would have done that. But it wasn't. And you're here, with me. Our girls are in the room beside us. This is how it should be." He said. She stared up at him, and he could read the fear in her eyes. She was worried he was going to say too much. But he knew it would push her away, so he didn't.
Instead he bent his head and pressed a kiss to her throat. He looked up and glanced at the clock.
"And it's only 10:03 PM and I'm wide awake, how about you?" He asked. She grinned.
"I'm not tired a bit." She said.
"Good." He replied and slid his body over hers once again. She giggled and wrapped her limbs around him, thrilled to just live in the now.
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The next day Carol went into work a little early, hoping Jeanie would be there. Carol put her things underneath the desk at the admit desk and asked Randi if Jeanie was there. Randi nodded, snapped her gum, and pointed to the exam room. Carol rolled her eyes, but turned and walked to the room. Jeanie was inside talking to a patient. Carol went inside and when Jeanie looked up, Carol motioned that she needed to talk to her. Jeanie nodded and Carol waited outside. Jeanie finished a few moments later and walked out.
"What's up, Carol?"
"Could you come with me for a minute?" Carol asked. Jeanie nodded.
"Sure." She said and followed Carol to the drug lock-up. "What is it?" She asked when Carol closed the door behind them.
"I just needed to go somewhere private. But uh, well, this is kind of awkward, but I was wondering if you could prescribe me some pills." She said.
"Of what kind?" Jeanie asked. Carol cleared her throat.
"Birth control." She said. Jeanie smiled slowly.
"Ah ha." She said. Carol moaned a little and Jeanie giggled.
"Yes, I could do that. So does that mean your bopping him?" Jeanie asked. Carol laughed.
"Jeanie!" She exclaimed. Jeanie laughed.
"Well...?" Jeanie asked.
"Twice last night. But you're not allowed to say a word!" Carol warned.
"Not a peep." Jeanie promised.
"I mean it." Carol said. Jeanie smiled.
"Trust me. I never was one for the rumor mill. I promise I won't tell a soul, Carol."
"Thank you."
"I'll write the prescription and have it to you by the end of the day." Jeanie said. Carol nodded.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
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Over the next week Doug and Carol spent every night in bed together making love once or sometimes twice each night. They would make up a bed on the couch only to have one of them rush down in the morning before the girls woke up to pretend they had slept in it.
But one night in the middle of the night Kate woke up after having a nightmare. She sat straight up in bed and looked all around her, worried about the boogie man from her dream. She looked at Tess sleeping soundly and knew she had to wake her up. So Kate quickly threw off the covers and dashed onto Tess' bed. Tess woke quickly, jolted away by Kate's jump onto the bed.
"Kate?" Tess asked.
"I had a bad dream." Kate said. Tess let her under the covers.
"About what?" She asked.
"A monster man." Kate said. Tess and Kate huddled together. "I'm scared still, Tess."
"Nothings here, Kate." Tess said matter-of-factly, only because her sister was starting to scare her too.
"How do you know, Tessie?" Kate asked. Tess didn't reply, they only stared at each other in the darkness. "I want mommy and daddy." Kate said.
"Why don't we go downstairs and get Mommy." Tess suggested. Kate nodded. They climbed out of bed together and held tightly onto each other. They walked quickly out the door and headed down the steps. They stopped halfway though because both of them could see that nobody was on the couch.
"The man got Mommy." Kate whispered.
"No." Tess replied, growing scared. "It was a dream, Kate."
"Let's get Daddy." Kate said. Tess nodded and they dashed back up the stairs and down the hall. They quickly swung the door open to Doug's room and went quickly to the bed, only to find their parents both wrapped up in each other's arms together.
"Mommy's in here." Tess said quietly.
"Why?" Kate asked.
"Maybe she got cold." Tess suggested. Kate nodded, betting that was it.
"At least the bad man didn't get her." Kate said. The girls crawled onto the bed and shook Doug's shoulder.
"Daddy."
"Mommy." Doug and Carol both stirred at the same time and then sort of slid out of each other's arms quickly when they realized they'd been caught.
"There's a bad man." Kate whispered.
"Where?" Doug asked sleepily.
"In her dream." Tess replied. Doug and Carol sighed a bit. They glanced at each other and could only be happy that Carol had put underwear and a t-shirt back on and Doug had his pajama pants on. They had done that every night, just in case the girls were to catch them in bed together. Luckily it had been a good plan.
"C'mon." Doug said and motioned the girls to get in between them. Both girls crawled over him and snuggled in between their parents. "The bad man was just a dream, Kate, he's not real." Doug said. Kate nodded.
"Were you cold, Mommy?" Tess asked.
"What?" Carol asked, slightly confused.
"Is that why you came to sleep with Daddy, to get warm?" Tess said. Carol and Doug looked at each other and he nearly smiled.
"Yeah, baby, I was cold." Carol said and soothed Tess' hair down. Both girls curled up and closed their eyes. Within moments they were fast asleep.
"Close call." Carol said.
"Hey, at least she came up with her own explanation." Doug said. They both grinned and looked down at their daughters. They soon fell asleep, cozy and happy with their little family all together in one big bed.
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The next morning all four of them were in the kitchen, eating breakfast before Carol was going to take the girls to school and then follow Doug to work. Tess was eating cereal but her brain was working hard. Finally she looked up at Doug and Carol, her thoughts coming together.
"Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"How come you and Daddy don't sleep together every night like Aunt Molly and Uncle Chuck did?" Doug looked at Carol and raised his eyebrows, grinning. Carol held back a smile and looked at Tess.
"Well because Aunt Molly and Uncle Chuck were married."
"But do you get cold at night every night?" Tess asked. Carol looked at Doug. He shrugged.
"Yeah, I do." Carol said, just in case they got caught again.
"Do you get cold, Daddy?" Tess asked. Doug nodded, following Carol's lead.
"Yeah, I guess I do too." He said.
"Then I think it's okay if you sleep together every night. You don't need to be married." Tess said. Carol and Doug looked at each other and shrugged.
"Would it bother you two?" Doug finally asked. Kate shook her head.
"No." Tess replied. Carol shrugged.
"Okay then. We'll sleep together at night." She said. Tess nodded.
"Okay." Then she hopped off her chair and went into the living room. Kate soon followed. Then Doug and Carol burst out laughing.
"I can't believe her." Carol said.
"Her wheels are always turning." Doug said. Carol smiled.
"Well at least we don't have to be sneaky anymore." Carol said. He chuckled and pulled her close.
"Not anymore." He said and began to kiss her neck.
"Doug.." She said. "We have to go to work."
"I can't kiss you first?" He asked.
"Well what if the girls walk in?" She asked.
"They want us to kiss, remember?" He asked.
"But you're not...ohhh.." She said. He chuckled against her collarbone. "You're not kissing my lips which is what they think is right." Carol said.
"Well, I could do that too." He said and traveled back up to her mouth. She sighed and melted into him, at this point not caring whether the girls walked in. Finally she pulled away, putting her hands on his chest as he hands rested on her hips.
"You're killing me here." She said. He laughed.
"I'll get more later." He warned playfully and she reached down rubbing her index finger against him through his pants. His eyes widened and he groaned.
"You're so evil." He said when she pulled away. She glanced at him over her shoulder and grinned.
"I'll get more later." She said and he couldn't help but chuckle.
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The next day was Saturday and Helen was keeping the girls for the day and then returning them back home around 7 PM. When Helen stood on the porch with the girls, she happened to glance in the window. Then she did a double take. Doug and Carol were lying on the couch together and he was kissing her and she was giggling. Helen felt her temperature rise. Damn him, she muttered under her breath and knocked on loudly on the door. Within moments the door opened and Doug let them in, smiling at his girls and then Helen. She didn't smile back.
Uh-oh, he thought and closed the door behind her.
"Hey girls, did you have fun?" Carol asked them. Kate and Tess grinned.
"Yeah!" The said and Carol looked up at her mother. Helen gave her a stern look and glanced at Doug. When she looked back at Carol Doug raised his eyebrows.
"The girls were wonderful." Helen said.
"Were you?" Carol asked the girl, kidding them. They nodded solemnly. Carol grinned. "Good."
"I better get going." Helen said.
"You don't have to leave so soon, Ma."
"Yes I do." She said stiffly and then turned. Doug opened the door for her and she didn't even look at him as she walked out. Doug shut the door and turned back to Carol.
"Why don't you girls take your jackets off and go into the kitchen." Carol said. The girls quickly obeyed, hoping they'd get some cookies. "What was that all about?" Carol asked once they disappeared. Doug turned and pointed to the window.
"I think she saw us." He said.
"Oh." Carol paused. "Uh-oh." She said. He chuckled.
"Yeah. That's exactly what I thought."
"I'm sure I'll hear all about it tomorrow." Carol said and headed to the kitchen to get the girls so milk and cookies for being good for Helen.
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The next day Carol got off work at five. She headed straight to Helen's house to pick up the girls. When she walked in, the girls were in the living room, watching television and Helen was in the kitchen. Carol gave the girls quick kisses and headed into the kitchen. Helen didn't even say hello.
"What were you doing last night?" She asked. Carol sighed.
"Ma, please, give it a rest." Helen whipped around.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Helen asked. "I was shocked enough as it was when you moved in with him, but I understood it was for the girls. You kissing him on the couch was most definitely not for the girls." Helen said. Carol rolled her eyes.
"No, mother, it wasn't. But it's really none of your business." Carol said. Helen stepped toward Carol.
"It most certainly is my business. You're my daughter and those girls are my grandchildren. I'm concerned about all of you."
"Why?" Carol asked.
"Because of that horrible man!" Helen exclaimed.
"He's not horrible, Ma! He's the girl's father and he's damn good at it."
"I can believe that, or else he wouldn't be a pediatrician. But that doesn't mean you had to let him back into your life romantically!"
"He's changed, Ma."
"How could you even think of forgiving him? What he did to you was awful. He made you cry, Carol. He hurt you!"
"But he's different now, Ma!"
"How do you know that, Carol? He may seem different now, but what about a year from now, six months from now? You don't know what he could do. He could still be the same man he used to be and just hasn't shown it yet. He could hurt you again!" Helen said.
"Don't you think I don't know that?" Carol asked.
"Then why, Carol, why would you let him do it again?"
"I could be hurt by any man, whether it was Doug or not. He's different, Ma, I know it. And if I'm wrong, then I will have to face the consequences.."
"Again?"
"Yes, again."
"That's not smart, Carol. You barely survived last time. Look where it left you!"
"That's life, Ma. Taking chances. And I'm taking another one. I haven't taken any chances ever since I left Chicago. It's about time I took another."
"And the entire reason you left Chicago was because you gave that bastard another chance. And you don't take any more chances until he is back in your life again. There's a pattern, here, Carol!"
"Mommy?" Carol heard a soft voice coming from the doorway. She turned to find Kate and Tess standing close together, holding hands, and staring at the two woman. Carol sighed and went to them. She bent down.
"It's okay, babies. Are you ready to go home?" She asked. They nodded, stealing glances at their grandmother. Helen rubbed her hand against her forehead and sighed.
"I'll see you girls tomorrow." She said.
"Bye grandma." Kate said.
"Bye." Tess repeated.
"Bye bye." Helen said. Carol turned and looked at her mother once more.
"It's my life." She said and ushered the girls out into the foyer to get their coats and shoes on.
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On the way home from Helen's house, Carol couldn't stop thinking about their argument. What if her mother was right, what if Doug did hurt her again? She really didn't think she could bear it again. Every day they were growing closer and closer and she knew he had changed, but what if she was wrong? What if he was just putting up a facade to get the girl's trust? She knew he would never ever intentionally hurt his daughters, and she knew she wasn't wrong about that, but she couldn't be sure about him handling her heart. He hadn't been good at that in the past, why should it be different now? But he is different, she kept telling herself. But it wasn't working. Her mother's words were repeating over and over in her head and Carol couldn't stop it.
"Mommy?" Tess asked, bringing Carol out of her daydream-like state.
"Yes, baby?" Carol asked gently.
"What's a bastard?" Tess asked. Carol's hands tightened on the wheel.
"What?"
"Grandma called Daddy a bastard." Carol sighed.
"It's a bad name that people give to somebody they don't like." Carol said.
"Grandma doesn't like Daddy?"
"No, baby, she doesn't."
"How come?" Kate asked.
"Well," Carol paused, "Do you remember when Daddy and I told you that he kissed me that one time and left and so it made the kisses sad?"
"Yeah." They replied.
"Well, when he did that, it made Grandma really mad because he had hurt my feelings. Just like it would make me mad if somebody hurt one of your feelings." Carol said.
"But you're not mad at Daddy anymore, are you?" Tess asked.
"No, baby, I'm not. Not anymore." She said, wondering if that was a lie now with everything that had been brought to the front of her memory again.
"Then why is Grandma still?" Kate asked.
"Because when somebody's little girl gets hurt, it makes the mommy even more mad, even if the girl forgets. Do you understand?" Carol asked.
"Yeah." They replied softly.
"And I know Grandma called Daddy a bad name, but I want you to know that he isn't that word."
"Okay." The girls nodded.
"And promise me that you won't say that word, okay? It's not nice." Carol said.
"We promise." The girls both said together.
"Good girls. Mommy loves you bunches." Carol said.
"We love you, too." The replied in unison. Carol sighed, troubled.
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Later that night Carol was downstairs cleaning up the kitchen and Doug was getting the girls into their pajamas after they had finished up taking their bath. He was helping Kate pull on her pink pajama pants when she became curious.
"Grandma and Mommy had a fight today." Kate said. Doug looked up at her. Tess nodded.
"About you." Tess said. Doug sighed.
"Did they?" The girls nodded solemnly.
"It was scary. Grandma's never yelled before." Kate said. Ha, yeah right, Doug thought but didn't say anything.
"Grandma called you a bad name." Tess said.
"Oh. Well, she does that sometimes." He said honestly.
"Why doesn't she like you?" Kate asked.
"Mommy said it's because you kissed her and left and it hurt Mommy's feelings and made Grandma mad."
"Well, yeah, that's why. Grandma is still mad." Doug said.
"Was Mommy sad?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, for a long time. I think."
"You hurt her." Tess said. Doug nodded sadly.
"Yeah, I did."
"Did you hit her?" Kate asked. Doug shook his head and didn't realize that his daughters words could hurt him so much.
"No, I never ever did that." He said. Kate nodded.
"But your hurt her feelings." She asked.
"Yeah, I hurt her in her heart and in her mind," He said, pointing at those body parts on Kate, "but I never made her hurt outside.
"Why did you hurt her heart?" Tess asked. Doug sighed.
"Because I wasn't very nice back then. And I didn't know sometimes that the things I did made people sad." Tess nodded.
"You're nice, now." She said.
"I try to be." He paused. "I want you to know that I would never ever hurt you girls' feelings on purpose, okay?" They both nodded. "Okay, good. I love you." He said. They walked to him and wrapped their arms around him.
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All throughout the night, Doug could see that Carol's mood had changed since that morning. She was much more serious and he had a feeling that it was because of Helen. Carol didn't say much throughout the night and around 10 PM she told him she was going to bed.
"I think I'll go with you." He said. She didn't answer him, instead just making her way up the stairs. She had hoped he wouldn't join her, but obviously her luck was running low that day. They changed and got ready for bed, not saying much to each other. Then Carol climbed into bed. Two minutes later Doug climbed in beside her. She had her back turned away from his side of the bed. He wasn't sure whether he should talk to her or not. Maybe she should just think about it for a night or so, Doug thought. But he knew he couldn't go to sleep without saying something.
"Carol?"
"Hmm?" She replied.
"The girl's told me what happened." He said.
"Mm." She said, half expecting they had, considering he had kept his distance from her ever since the girls' baths.
"I'm sorry." He said softly, staring at her back. She didn't say anything. "I really am." He turned on his side, putting his back toward hers. Tears filled her eyes, but she held them in. She just needed some time to think. She couldn't get away from Doug or the girls and she just needed some time alone.
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The next day Carol didn't have to work, but the girls had to go to school. So she got up with them and sent them off to school and kissed Doug goodbye on the cheek quickly. And now she had the house to herself. Whenever she needed to think, cleaning always helped. She could physically work and get something done, while her brain did it's own exercising. She decided to start with the kitchen floor.
As she sat on the floor scrubbing away, she wasn't sure what to do. Her fight with her mother had obviously upset the girl's, and she didn't know how to fix it for them. But the bigger issue was that she didn't know what to do about Doug.
Nearly two hours and three rooms later, Carol swept the study with the vacuum cleaner, pushing it hard and fast. She knew that no matter what, she had to live with Doug, for the girls. The only ways she would ever move out was if he wanted her to, the girls wanted them to, or if he hurt her to the point where she couldn't stay with him. And so she knew she would have to get along with Doug or else everything would always be tense. And the way to go on getting along with him was to go on the way they were. It was working out well for everyone. The girls loved seeing their parents together and she and Doug were having fun. She was enjoying every moment with him, soaking up moments for the time she had lost. And he hadn't hurt her yet. So why should she ruin it, if nothing had happened? For all she knew things could work out perfectly. She couldn't give up on him now, just because of something her mother said. If he hurt her later, she'd deal with it then.
Decision made, Carol stopped pushing the vacuum so hard and smiled.
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Later that night when Doug got home from work Carol went to him and wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm sorry about last night." She said. He smiled.
"It's okay."
"I just needed to think and straighten some things out in my head." She said. He nodded.
"I understand."
"Thank you." She said and kissed him. From their spots on the couch the girls giggled.
"Mommy and Daddy, sitting in a tree." Kate began to chant in a sing-song voice. Tess giggled and joined in.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They shouted. Doug and Carol laughed and kissed again, just to put on a show for the girls.
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Helen and Carol were in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. Carol had just put some leftovers into the refrigerator for Doug, which immediately spurred Helen's anger.
"Why are you being his maid?" Helen asked.
"What?" Carol replied, turning around to face her mother.
"Why are you being his maid?" Helen repeated.
"This is his house. He lives here. We had leftover food for dinner. I put it in the microwave so he has something to eat. I am not his maid." Carol said slowly, her anger growing. Why couldn't her mom just give it up?
"And I am sure he could fix his own dinner." Helen said.
"Mom, it would be a waste of food to throw away the leftovers." Carol said.
"I bet you clean his house too, don't you?" Helen asked. Carol sighed.
"Yes, Ma. I do. The three of us barged into his life. Twin five-year-olds make messes. I'm not going to leave them for him to clean up." Carol said.
"But he should do the cleaning of his own house!" Helen insisted. Carol sighed.
"He does clean, Ma! You have to remember that he lived here for 6 years by himself. He does half the work now." Carol said.
"Why are you doing this to yourself, Carol?"
"Mom, I lived by myself for six years and five of those years I lived with twins. I've learnt to deal with our messes. When I was growing up, I always wanted my father back! I always felt cheated out of a father." Helen sighed, knowing it was the truth. Carol continued. "And when they were growing up, I always wished they had a father. I didn't want them to grow up like me, always wondering. It was the one thing I wanted the most for them. Now they have their father and I have my family. Why is that so hard for you to accept?" Carol asked. What the women didn't know was that Doug was just arriving home for work. He went into the living room, smiling at his girls. They smiled back up at him and told him that Carol and Helen were in the kitchen. He raised his eyebrows.
"He hurt you!" Helen said.
"Yes, he did!" Carol said and then lowered her voice. She didn't want to scare the girls again.
"He is not the kind of man you need in your life." Helen said. Carol sighed. Doug neared the kitchen.
"He is the father of my children." She said.
"That doesn't mean you have to take him into your bed!" Helen exclaimed. Doug stepped up to the doorway.
"I love him, Ma!" Carol said, raising her voice. Helen froze, staring at the door, spotting Doug. Carol immediately turned, thinking it was the girls again. When she saw Doug standing in the doorway, absolutely still and staring at her, her heart plummeted. She hadn't meant for him to hear that. She hadn't meant to say it. All of a sudden a huge grin split across his face. He walked to her and took her face into his hands.
"I love you too." He said and kissed her firmly and warmly on the lips. Her brain fizzled and she gripped his hips. Then he pulled back, grinned at her and turned around and walked out. Carol stood, staring after him, her heart pounding quickly in her chest.
The romantic in Helen's heart warmed and puddled, but she immediately gathered her senses and placed her hands on her hips, elbows out. Carol turned around and Helen in the eye.
"Please don't ruin that for me." Carol said quietly. Then she walked to the sink and gathered up the wash cloth to wipe the table clean. Helen just stood for a moment, watching. Then she breathed deeply, straightened her shoulders, and began to help Carol.
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All throughout the night after Helen had left, Carol kept smiling at Doug and they would laugh a bit. The girls didn't even notice. Once they put the twins in bed, Carol went straight to Doug's arms. He wrapped her up and laughed against her neck. She pulled his face up to hers and kissed him.
"I bet your mom shit herself, huh?" He asked. Carol laughed.
"You should have seen the look on her face." Carol said and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I just told her not to ruin the moment for me and she didn't say another word." She paused. "I'm sorry that it had to come out like that." He chuckled.
"Carol, I really don't care how it came out. I was thrilled." He said and nuzzled her neck. She smiled.
"When I first knew you had heard me, I about died. I was scared you didn't feel the same." She said. He smiled.
"I've loved you since I met you. I didn't realize it until you left, but I never stopped loving you." She brought her head up and she kissed him, smiling.
"I love you." She said.
"Say it again." He murmured against her lips.
"I love you." She said and he kissed her firmly.
"I love you." He said. They began to laugh and he led her to the couch. "I need to make love you now." He said. She wrapped her arms around him and laid on the couch with him.
"I'm not arguing."
"I don't want to go upstairs in case of the girls."
"They might come downstairs." Carol murmured against his lips.
"They won't." He said. She laughed.
"If they do, we'll deal with it then." She said. He chuckled and began to kiss down her neck.
"Then. I love you, Carol." Her heart swelled.
"I love you too, Doug."
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After they had finished making love, they were lying on the couch naked under a blanket, in the darkness. Carol was sprawled across Doug's chest and he was running his fingers through her hair.
"There's some things we need to talk about." He said.
"Like what?" She asked.
"Things I need to tell you. About everything." He said.
"Okay." She nodded, needing him to tell her.
"I know that before you moved I was the most unreliable guy around. I know I hurt you when we were dating and I was sorry for it then and I'm still sorry for it now. And I'm sorry that I slept with you that night and then left. I'm mostly sorry for that because it caused you to leave and I missed out on so much with the girls." He paused. "And I know you still have doubts about me." She shook her head, but he placed a finger over her lips.
"I know you do. Or you wouldn't have been worried about it the other night." He said, referring back to the night when Helen had put doubts and memories back into Carol's head. She sighed. "But I want to make a promise to you here and now. I promise that I will never ever hurt you or the girls intentionally."
"I know you would never hurt them, Doug." Carol said.
"I know you know that. But I need you to realize that I will never hurt you again. You have to trust me, Carol, or what we have will never work out. I know I was the biggest bastard I could have been back then. And I'm so sorry for that. But I've changed and I need you to realize it and trust me. And let me love you and have you love me back. I don't want anymore holding back." He said. She scooted up so they were eye to eye.
"I trust you." She said. He closed his eyes and swallowed.
"Thank you." He said. She stroked his face.
"Thank you for coming back into my life." She said and bent down, kissing him tenderly. A tear slid from her eye and he kissed that away.
"You'll never have to worry ever again, Carol. I love you."
"I love you too."
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