Chapter 4: "What? Campfire Lass?"
Silas: "That was fun anyway. I just thought, what the heck! They're really nice anyway, and I like their accent. The haggis didn't smell too good though. Good thing I'm a vegetarian."
Helga: "Wow, you've got guts! Did you ever get beaten up for joining the Campfire Lass? No fifth graders put you in the trash?"
Silas: (shrugs) "A couple of times. But I got some help by a few kilted friends. Those Chocolate Turtles are good for throwing..."
They had ordered double-fudge ice-creams at Helga's treat. Helga had managed to change into a nice dress before she came, surprising Silas, who came in his regular school clothes. No one else had come to the parlor yet, so with the exception to the clerk, they were alone...
Until Arnold came in at least. He had spent a minute outside the door, watching for anyone else in the shoppe, until he had spotted Helga. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't seen Silas until he came in. Naturally, he dismissed the entire possibility of Helga being his secret admirer. He was about to leave, but Helga called to him.
Helga: "Hey Arnold!" He turned around.
Arnold: "Oh. Hi Helga. Wow, you look... uh, different."
Helga: "Well, thank you! What are you doing here?"
Arnold: "It's nothing. I just thought someone would be here. Don't let me bother you."
Silas: "Wait, that's..."
Helga: "Ok. We won't." She went back to her seat as Arnold sighed and walked out of the parlor. Inwardly she smiled as she saw him look back at the two of them, then head home.
Silas was staring out the door, and then his eyes moved to Helga.
Silas: (after a moment) "Oh, great. Give me a break! Why me?"
Helga: "What? What are you talking about?"
Silas: "Please! I know what you're doing! Why did you choose me to make him jealous?"
Helga: "Silas, you couldn't be farther from the truth. Deep down, I truly feel myself drawn toward... Oh forget it! You're right anyway. But it seems to be working."
Silas: "I won't have any more part in this! I could've been at the park with Nadine having fun! But I had to fall for your stupid schemes! Why did you choose me anyway?"
Helga: "Don't be rediculous! Who better that you? You seem pretty, uh, unique! Besides, everyone knows I'd sooner throw up than go on a date with any of those others! I know them too well."
Silas: "This wasn't a real date! I thought you'd be nicer to Arnold after what I heard you say."
Helga: "I'm doing him a favor! Anything's better than him getting Lila to fall for him!"
Silas stood suddenly: "Lila! Oh, that's perfect!" He grinned at Helga. "I think it's about time your little secret came out, Miss Pataki!"
Helga: "No! You promised!"
Silas: "No I didn't! Just because I didn't tell then doesn't mean I never would!"
Helga: "You can't! If he finds out after all this time..."
Silas: "What's the worst that can happen? If he really cared, he'd stop chasing Lila, wouldn't he?"
Helga: "It's none of your business anyway, Silas! Stay out of it!"
Silas thought about it for a moment, until he saw the look in Helga's eyes.
Silas: "All right. It is none of my business. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm not ever getting involved again. And make no mistake, because I will tell him if you try this again." He walked out of the parlor.
Helga wiped her brow.
Helga: "Whoa, that was close!" She finished her ice cream and left the shoppe. "Great Helga! You have to give yourself away! What was I thinking? Who would have thought he'd be smart enough to see it?" She thought a moment. "He's too dangerous. If he blabs about me, then..." She stopped. "Then what?" Thinking... "Arnold will finally know the love that so torments me night and day! Time and again, I torture him without remorse, and for what? My love burns deeper that ever, and yet I cannot bring myself to tell him! Oh, cursed love! Why couldn't you simply direct me on the straight path? Why must every scheme I plot to win over my one love end in misery?"
She began thinking of all that she had done as she walked home that afternoon... Her plans at the cheese faires, both meant to rid Arnold of his crush, and yet strengthening it... Her incident on the alley wall, bringing Arnold and Lila together... That brought her thinking about how his feelings for her had changed, once she had shown herself to be as "sofisticated" as Lila could be at the French Restaurant... Arnold knew then that she could have a caring side after all...
When she got home, the car was started in the driveway and loaded up with a whole gaggle of things.
Helga: "What's going on?
Miriam: "Helga! Oh, I'm so glad to see you! You're going to be alone with your father for a while. I'm taking two weeks' trip to Hawaii! Isn't that terrific?
Helga: "Mom, when did you think of this?"
Miriam: "Oh, just a few days ago." She held out a few brochures. "See, it's a spa in Honolulu designed to rejeuvanate body and spirit! And I KNOW I've needed it!"
Helga: (pauses) "Mom, you seem fine now! Better than you've been in a long time! Why do you need to leave?"
Miriam: "Oh, this is just the start! When I get back, you'll have a whole new mom, and things will be different around here! My plane leaves midnight tonight! Sorry about such short notice, but I'm sure you two can handle it." She gathered up her things when Big Bob started honking the horn.
Big Bob: "Come on Miriam! I don't have all night!"
Miriam: "Ta, dear! Oh that sounds so much better! Take care!" She gathered up a few extra things, including a curious pink object, and started toward the door. "Oh, by the way, just for the week, I decided to clean up this place. Your room looks brand new! Good thing too. Did you know there was an old football in your closet with rotting fruit stuck all over it! Well, gotta go! Kiss kiss!" She closed the door quickly.
Helga: "My room? WHAT?" She dashed up the stairs. "Noooooo!!!!!"
Everything had changed. Not just the furniture was rearranged, but all her things were different. Including her closet. Her Arnold Shrine was gone!
Helga: "Criminy! How many times have I told them to leave my room alone?" She thought a moment. "Well, that thing was getting old anyway. My new one will be so much better!"
She smiled until she opened her nightstand drawer. "No!" Probably because of the mess she had always left there, it was now sickeningly tidy, with one major missing item.
Helga: "My pink book! Where is it?"
She practially tore her room apart for the next hour looking for it. Big Bob eventually returned home, and came up the stairs to see the mess she had made.
Big Bob: "Olga! Your mother spent.... Ah forget it. Just clean this place up!" He walked off grumbling. "Goes off for two weeks with no notice... That's perfect..."
Helga: "Dad, it's Helga! And what was all that stuff you took away today?"
Bob: "Just some garbage your mother gathered up. Dropped it off at the dump before I came home. You're on your own for dinner. By the way, I met one of your little friends there before I came home. He said he wanted to see you."
Helga: "Who?"
Bob: "I think he said his name was Silas." He went into his room and closed the door.
Helga: "Silas! What does he want?" She thought a moment... "They must've taken it to the dump with everything else! If Silas was there when they dropped it off, then he must have it!" She dashed down the stairs.
The dump was only about a mile from her house, and it didn't take her long to get there. A huge valley stood in front of her, filled with hills of trash of all kinds. Apparantly, people hadn't yet discovered the concept of burying their trash, instead of just leaving it lying about.
A road led into the dump through the main gate. Helga walked along the embankment of trees until she reached it, and followed it to the toll booth. There was no one inside, so she just walked past.
Helga: "Criminy! This place is big! It'll take me forever to find it." Maybe, she decided, it would be best just to look for Silas.
An hour later she spotted him, sitting atop a heap of paper. Before she was seen, she ducked behind a hill of garbage. Peeking over, she saw him flipping through a small book. When he turned the pages, she noticed that it's cover was pink!
Helga: "That's my book! Why does he have to be so nosy? And why did he want me here anyway? Just to gloat?" She continued to watch him, grinding her teeth everytime he read a funny passage and laughed. But what could she do? He now knew things that no one else could know! It was only a matter of time before he told everyone! Quietly, she climbed to the top of the hill, looking down on him. Leaping out, she fell towards him, and neatly snatched the book away.
Helga: "I'll take that!"
Silas was still laughing. Helga began to thumb through the book.
Helga: "What's so funny?"
Silas: "Just some of that poetry! It can get pretty silly there!"
Helga: "Hmph. Who asked you anyway?" She turned around.
Silas: "Wait! I, uh... I thought most of it was pretty good. There's just one thing I don't understand..."
Helga: "Yeah! I know what that is! Do me a favor. If I never talk to you again, then will you stay out of my life?"
Silas was silent for a moment.
Silas: "Listen Helga. I didn't mean for you to get upset. I just though I should put you in your place. It never hurts to be nice to people once in a while."
Helga: "You sound just like Arnold!"
Silas: (smiling) "Isn't that why you love him?"
Helga: "Listen! This has nothing to do with that! This is about you! This wouldn't have ever happened if you hadn't been evesdropping on me in the first place! If I hadn't said anything, you would have gone and told everyone!"
Silas: "What makes you think that? You know how embarrassing that would have been? Hey everyone! Look! I found a book with lots of love poems in it! Hey, didja know that Helga is in love with Arnold? I know what would have happened. You would have probably cried when everyone laughed at you, and then someone like Phoebe or Arnold would get mad at me for telling and embarrassing you. Guh! I know how these things work."
Helga: "Then why did you come here?"
Silas: "I wanted to know your reasons. Apparantly, it goes far back. I just wanted to know why you treat him like you do..."
Helga: (waits a moment) "I don't know! I just do!" The she stopped. "Why am I telling you this? It's none of your business. This is between me and Arnold!"
Silas: "Fine. But let me tell you, I've seen it all. This only ends in unhappiness. Arnold likes Lila. Not just likes her, but likes her likes her. And if she starts liking liking him back, then it's all over for you. I've seen the way he looks at you. It may not be love, but I'm sure he has a special place in his heart for a friend like you."
Helga thought a moment, then she sat down.
Helga: "You think so? After all the torment I've given him?"
Silas nodded: "The choice is up to you." He held out his hand. "Come on. Let's get outta here."
He pulled her up, and they walked away from the dump, Helga thinking all about what Silas had told her, and secretly cheering that she had gotten her book back.
Silas: "That was fun anyway. I just thought, what the heck! They're really nice anyway, and I like their accent. The haggis didn't smell too good though. Good thing I'm a vegetarian."
Helga: "Wow, you've got guts! Did you ever get beaten up for joining the Campfire Lass? No fifth graders put you in the trash?"
Silas: (shrugs) "A couple of times. But I got some help by a few kilted friends. Those Chocolate Turtles are good for throwing..."
They had ordered double-fudge ice-creams at Helga's treat. Helga had managed to change into a nice dress before she came, surprising Silas, who came in his regular school clothes. No one else had come to the parlor yet, so with the exception to the clerk, they were alone...
Until Arnold came in at least. He had spent a minute outside the door, watching for anyone else in the shoppe, until he had spotted Helga. Unfortunately for him, he hadn't seen Silas until he came in. Naturally, he dismissed the entire possibility of Helga being his secret admirer. He was about to leave, but Helga called to him.
Helga: "Hey Arnold!" He turned around.
Arnold: "Oh. Hi Helga. Wow, you look... uh, different."
Helga: "Well, thank you! What are you doing here?"
Arnold: "It's nothing. I just thought someone would be here. Don't let me bother you."
Silas: "Wait, that's..."
Helga: "Ok. We won't." She went back to her seat as Arnold sighed and walked out of the parlor. Inwardly she smiled as she saw him look back at the two of them, then head home.
Silas was staring out the door, and then his eyes moved to Helga.
Silas: (after a moment) "Oh, great. Give me a break! Why me?"
Helga: "What? What are you talking about?"
Silas: "Please! I know what you're doing! Why did you choose me to make him jealous?"
Helga: "Silas, you couldn't be farther from the truth. Deep down, I truly feel myself drawn toward... Oh forget it! You're right anyway. But it seems to be working."
Silas: "I won't have any more part in this! I could've been at the park with Nadine having fun! But I had to fall for your stupid schemes! Why did you choose me anyway?"
Helga: "Don't be rediculous! Who better that you? You seem pretty, uh, unique! Besides, everyone knows I'd sooner throw up than go on a date with any of those others! I know them too well."
Silas: "This wasn't a real date! I thought you'd be nicer to Arnold after what I heard you say."
Helga: "I'm doing him a favor! Anything's better than him getting Lila to fall for him!"
Silas stood suddenly: "Lila! Oh, that's perfect!" He grinned at Helga. "I think it's about time your little secret came out, Miss Pataki!"
Helga: "No! You promised!"
Silas: "No I didn't! Just because I didn't tell then doesn't mean I never would!"
Helga: "You can't! If he finds out after all this time..."
Silas: "What's the worst that can happen? If he really cared, he'd stop chasing Lila, wouldn't he?"
Helga: "It's none of your business anyway, Silas! Stay out of it!"
Silas thought about it for a moment, until he saw the look in Helga's eyes.
Silas: "All right. It is none of my business. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm not ever getting involved again. And make no mistake, because I will tell him if you try this again." He walked out of the parlor.
Helga wiped her brow.
Helga: "Whoa, that was close!" She finished her ice cream and left the shoppe. "Great Helga! You have to give yourself away! What was I thinking? Who would have thought he'd be smart enough to see it?" She thought a moment. "He's too dangerous. If he blabs about me, then..." She stopped. "Then what?" Thinking... "Arnold will finally know the love that so torments me night and day! Time and again, I torture him without remorse, and for what? My love burns deeper that ever, and yet I cannot bring myself to tell him! Oh, cursed love! Why couldn't you simply direct me on the straight path? Why must every scheme I plot to win over my one love end in misery?"
She began thinking of all that she had done as she walked home that afternoon... Her plans at the cheese faires, both meant to rid Arnold of his crush, and yet strengthening it... Her incident on the alley wall, bringing Arnold and Lila together... That brought her thinking about how his feelings for her had changed, once she had shown herself to be as "sofisticated" as Lila could be at the French Restaurant... Arnold knew then that she could have a caring side after all...
When she got home, the car was started in the driveway and loaded up with a whole gaggle of things.
Helga: "What's going on?
Miriam: "Helga! Oh, I'm so glad to see you! You're going to be alone with your father for a while. I'm taking two weeks' trip to Hawaii! Isn't that terrific?
Helga: "Mom, when did you think of this?"
Miriam: "Oh, just a few days ago." She held out a few brochures. "See, it's a spa in Honolulu designed to rejeuvanate body and spirit! And I KNOW I've needed it!"
Helga: (pauses) "Mom, you seem fine now! Better than you've been in a long time! Why do you need to leave?"
Miriam: "Oh, this is just the start! When I get back, you'll have a whole new mom, and things will be different around here! My plane leaves midnight tonight! Sorry about such short notice, but I'm sure you two can handle it." She gathered up her things when Big Bob started honking the horn.
Big Bob: "Come on Miriam! I don't have all night!"
Miriam: "Ta, dear! Oh that sounds so much better! Take care!" She gathered up a few extra things, including a curious pink object, and started toward the door. "Oh, by the way, just for the week, I decided to clean up this place. Your room looks brand new! Good thing too. Did you know there was an old football in your closet with rotting fruit stuck all over it! Well, gotta go! Kiss kiss!" She closed the door quickly.
Helga: "My room? WHAT?" She dashed up the stairs. "Noooooo!!!!!"
Everything had changed. Not just the furniture was rearranged, but all her things were different. Including her closet. Her Arnold Shrine was gone!
Helga: "Criminy! How many times have I told them to leave my room alone?" She thought a moment. "Well, that thing was getting old anyway. My new one will be so much better!"
She smiled until she opened her nightstand drawer. "No!" Probably because of the mess she had always left there, it was now sickeningly tidy, with one major missing item.
Helga: "My pink book! Where is it?"
She practially tore her room apart for the next hour looking for it. Big Bob eventually returned home, and came up the stairs to see the mess she had made.
Big Bob: "Olga! Your mother spent.... Ah forget it. Just clean this place up!" He walked off grumbling. "Goes off for two weeks with no notice... That's perfect..."
Helga: "Dad, it's Helga! And what was all that stuff you took away today?"
Bob: "Just some garbage your mother gathered up. Dropped it off at the dump before I came home. You're on your own for dinner. By the way, I met one of your little friends there before I came home. He said he wanted to see you."
Helga: "Who?"
Bob: "I think he said his name was Silas." He went into his room and closed the door.
Helga: "Silas! What does he want?" She thought a moment... "They must've taken it to the dump with everything else! If Silas was there when they dropped it off, then he must have it!" She dashed down the stairs.
The dump was only about a mile from her house, and it didn't take her long to get there. A huge valley stood in front of her, filled with hills of trash of all kinds. Apparantly, people hadn't yet discovered the concept of burying their trash, instead of just leaving it lying about.
A road led into the dump through the main gate. Helga walked along the embankment of trees until she reached it, and followed it to the toll booth. There was no one inside, so she just walked past.
Helga: "Criminy! This place is big! It'll take me forever to find it." Maybe, she decided, it would be best just to look for Silas.
An hour later she spotted him, sitting atop a heap of paper. Before she was seen, she ducked behind a hill of garbage. Peeking over, she saw him flipping through a small book. When he turned the pages, she noticed that it's cover was pink!
Helga: "That's my book! Why does he have to be so nosy? And why did he want me here anyway? Just to gloat?" She continued to watch him, grinding her teeth everytime he read a funny passage and laughed. But what could she do? He now knew things that no one else could know! It was only a matter of time before he told everyone! Quietly, she climbed to the top of the hill, looking down on him. Leaping out, she fell towards him, and neatly snatched the book away.
Helga: "I'll take that!"
Silas was still laughing. Helga began to thumb through the book.
Helga: "What's so funny?"
Silas: "Just some of that poetry! It can get pretty silly there!"
Helga: "Hmph. Who asked you anyway?" She turned around.
Silas: "Wait! I, uh... I thought most of it was pretty good. There's just one thing I don't understand..."
Helga: "Yeah! I know what that is! Do me a favor. If I never talk to you again, then will you stay out of my life?"
Silas was silent for a moment.
Silas: "Listen Helga. I didn't mean for you to get upset. I just though I should put you in your place. It never hurts to be nice to people once in a while."
Helga: "You sound just like Arnold!"
Silas: (smiling) "Isn't that why you love him?"
Helga: "Listen! This has nothing to do with that! This is about you! This wouldn't have ever happened if you hadn't been evesdropping on me in the first place! If I hadn't said anything, you would have gone and told everyone!"
Silas: "What makes you think that? You know how embarrassing that would have been? Hey everyone! Look! I found a book with lots of love poems in it! Hey, didja know that Helga is in love with Arnold? I know what would have happened. You would have probably cried when everyone laughed at you, and then someone like Phoebe or Arnold would get mad at me for telling and embarrassing you. Guh! I know how these things work."
Helga: "Then why did you come here?"
Silas: "I wanted to know your reasons. Apparantly, it goes far back. I just wanted to know why you treat him like you do..."
Helga: (waits a moment) "I don't know! I just do!" The she stopped. "Why am I telling you this? It's none of your business. This is between me and Arnold!"
Silas: "Fine. But let me tell you, I've seen it all. This only ends in unhappiness. Arnold likes Lila. Not just likes her, but likes her likes her. And if she starts liking liking him back, then it's all over for you. I've seen the way he looks at you. It may not be love, but I'm sure he has a special place in his heart for a friend like you."
Helga thought a moment, then she sat down.
Helga: "You think so? After all the torment I've given him?"
Silas nodded: "The choice is up to you." He held out his hand. "Come on. Let's get outta here."
He pulled her up, and they walked away from the dump, Helga thinking all about what Silas had told her, and secretly cheering that she had gotten her book back.