Title: Falling Stars
Rating: PG-13
Note: Sorry about the inconsistencies and stuff, but please bear with me. I'm dropping a few plotlines because they no longer fit with where I want to go and am adding a couple more. I'll fix up all that junk after I finish the story.
This is turning into one hell of a long chapter but I think it will be easier to write if I continue breaking it up into parts. After all, I gotta start pumping this baby out again or else it will go the way of "Night Warrior" and "Square One" (in other words, into "On Indefinite Hold"-ville). And I so don't want to see that happen. So try to bear with me as I fumble around here.
Thanks for your patience!
-Cel.
OH! By the bye, do me a favour and check out Vernal Equinox's wonderful Higuka. It's a great little start of a story that really hasn't yet received the notice it should. It appears to be Sess/Kagome for those of you who are interested, by the bye. If we band together and review the hell out of her, maybe she'll find the motivation to continue? Maybe? * crosses her fingers * One can always dream, anyway! Thanks!
Chapter 16c
He should have just left.
Instead he was sleeping just outside the human village with only Jaken for company because the little human girl who normally insisted on accompanying him had fallen asleep; snuggled up to the kitsune as if they were a pair of inseparable kittens.
So instead of leaving, he sat here. Like a fool. Because he didn't want to leave the child behind. It was probably the most inane situation he had ever been in, yet he seemed to be helpless to change it.
A sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at Jaken. The old servant snored softly, his long tongue escaping his wrinkled beak with an annoying regularity.
Sesshoumaru had proven himself to be a fool all the way around today.
His head fell back against the stout trunk, a part of him fighting to keep from wincing as he replayed the day's events.
It hadn't been enough that he had condescended to touch the human miko. No. He had to save the girl's useless life. Again.
If he didn't exhibit some caution, it would undoubtedly become a rather bad habit.
He lifted his claw before his eyes, frowning slightly as he could see the moonlight reflected in the smooth, white surface.
Sesshoumaru had allowed himself to become distracted earlier as the girl sat before him in the hut. Perhaps it had been the light in her somewhat attractive eyes or that look of supreme embarrassment she had given him when she thought he was referring to her being in heat ... he honestly didn't know. But for one moment there, he had completely forgot he was with a human.
For one terrifying moment, it had only been him and a bewitching creature named Kagome.
At first, he thought that there was nothing more exhilarating than watching the young woman's temper flare; watching the way her face reddened, and the pointed chin would thrust proudly out. Watching the way, regardless of her fear, her spirit defied him.
How could he have known that he would find her laughter so much more enjoyable?
Sesshoumaru pulled his hand through his hair, staring silently as the white tips of his fingers danced between the silver strands.
He had been so tempted by the woman, with her shining black hair and blue eyes that smiled. As he knelt there, before her as her foot so trustingly rested between his claws, he wanted more than anything to see her smile. At him.
With him.
In her own quiet way, the woman was the most dangerous creature he had ever come across. The defiance? Sesshoumaru had no qualms about his ability to deal with it. He didn't like it and she needed to learn her lesson, soon, before she corrupted Rin, but it didn't scare him. It was nothing compared to this ... need ... he felt around her, this strange desire to smile.
And laugh.
It was a weakness and he knew it.
But it wasn't a weakness Sesshoumaru was all that anxious to get rid of.
He sighed, the sound long and forlorn.
At least he had taken care of that before it became a problem, Sesshoumaru told himself as he looked at the dangerous-looking claw.
She would never laugh around him again.
Not after he hurt her.
It was ironic, really. He had actually intended to help her, to melt the rotting tissue before it claimed her foot and her life. Instead, Sesshoumaru had been careless and shoved too much of his poison into her wound, so much that it melted far more tissue than he intended. She would walk again, but he suspected it would be with a limp. The girl was, after all, merely a human and didn't possess the regenerative abilities of his kind.
She was just merely human.
Even so, Sesshoumaru didn't need to close his eyes to remember the look she gave him as she bit her lip to keep from screaming in pain. In a way, it haunted him and even now, he wished he hadn't been so hasty. For the first time in his adult life, he hadn't wanted a woman to stop smiling. He hadn't wanted her to turn away.
All he wanted...
Sesshoumaru snorted in disgust as he rose to his feet, angrily pacing back and forth as the feeling flooded back into his soul.
A human. He had wanted to touch a human.
Perhaps he wasn't so different from the old bastard after all.
He wouldn't accept it. He knew it. He was nothing like his father. Nothing.
It was proven by the fact he had never raised a hand against Rin. Never. He clothed her. He hunted for her. He took care of her. His father had never done even half as much.
Sesshoumaru had been a far better father than his own had ever been.
A father.
Sesshoumaru stopped dead in his tracks as he looked towards the human village, a frown usurping the anxiety that had clouded his face.
Did he consider himself to be the child's father?
No. Impossible.
Perhaps he was fond of the creature, but her father?
It would be best to just leave. This moment. Jaken would find his own way back.
Kagome would treat Rin as if the little girl were her very own. There was no doubt in his mind that this was a truth. The girl would finally have a family. She didn't need to bother him with her presence. He could finally be free.
The frown came unbidden, corrupting his lips as he gazed helplessly towards the village.
Family. There was something about that word that always pulled at him. He blamed Inuyasha's mother for that, for filling him with a need that could never be fulfilled.
For making him forget that no matter much he may wish otherwise, he would never belong. A family was a luxury he couldn't afford. There were so many reasons not to want one: the hassle of having others depend on you, the inconvenience of assuaging a potential mate's hurt feelings, knowing that if he ever lapsed... if he ever allowed himself to feel, it could be used against him.
It would be used against him.
The choice was clear, really. Sesshoumaru would never have that family. He couldn't.
But that didn't mean Rin would be doomed to suffer in loneliness.
His mind made up, the youkai lord stalked towards the village, unable to resist looking at the child one last time before he left.
For good.
Note: Angsty, huh? I don't know why I keep having Sesshoumaru consider leaving Rin behind but it kind of seems natural. The man (as far as I keep writing him) hides from his emotions and Rin sometimes forces him into situations where he has to face them. At those times, I suspect it would be so much easier to leave than to express something that he doesn't have the words for.
Well, this chapter has been leading up to something *grin* and I don't think I can possibly put it off for much longer. Thanks for hanging in there and bearing with me and I hope you still like this story!
Rating: PG-13
Note: Sorry about the inconsistencies and stuff, but please bear with me. I'm dropping a few plotlines because they no longer fit with where I want to go and am adding a couple more. I'll fix up all that junk after I finish the story.
This is turning into one hell of a long chapter but I think it will be easier to write if I continue breaking it up into parts. After all, I gotta start pumping this baby out again or else it will go the way of "Night Warrior" and "Square One" (in other words, into "On Indefinite Hold"-ville). And I so don't want to see that happen. So try to bear with me as I fumble around here.
Thanks for your patience!
-Cel.
OH! By the bye, do me a favour and check out Vernal Equinox's wonderful Higuka. It's a great little start of a story that really hasn't yet received the notice it should. It appears to be Sess/Kagome for those of you who are interested, by the bye. If we band together and review the hell out of her, maybe she'll find the motivation to continue? Maybe? * crosses her fingers * One can always dream, anyway! Thanks!
Chapter 16c
He should have just left.
Instead he was sleeping just outside the human village with only Jaken for company because the little human girl who normally insisted on accompanying him had fallen asleep; snuggled up to the kitsune as if they were a pair of inseparable kittens.
So instead of leaving, he sat here. Like a fool. Because he didn't want to leave the child behind. It was probably the most inane situation he had ever been in, yet he seemed to be helpless to change it.
A sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at Jaken. The old servant snored softly, his long tongue escaping his wrinkled beak with an annoying regularity.
Sesshoumaru had proven himself to be a fool all the way around today.
His head fell back against the stout trunk, a part of him fighting to keep from wincing as he replayed the day's events.
It hadn't been enough that he had condescended to touch the human miko. No. He had to save the girl's useless life. Again.
If he didn't exhibit some caution, it would undoubtedly become a rather bad habit.
He lifted his claw before his eyes, frowning slightly as he could see the moonlight reflected in the smooth, white surface.
Sesshoumaru had allowed himself to become distracted earlier as the girl sat before him in the hut. Perhaps it had been the light in her somewhat attractive eyes or that look of supreme embarrassment she had given him when she thought he was referring to her being in heat ... he honestly didn't know. But for one moment there, he had completely forgot he was with a human.
For one terrifying moment, it had only been him and a bewitching creature named Kagome.
At first, he thought that there was nothing more exhilarating than watching the young woman's temper flare; watching the way her face reddened, and the pointed chin would thrust proudly out. Watching the way, regardless of her fear, her spirit defied him.
How could he have known that he would find her laughter so much more enjoyable?
Sesshoumaru pulled his hand through his hair, staring silently as the white tips of his fingers danced between the silver strands.
He had been so tempted by the woman, with her shining black hair and blue eyes that smiled. As he knelt there, before her as her foot so trustingly rested between his claws, he wanted more than anything to see her smile. At him.
With him.
In her own quiet way, the woman was the most dangerous creature he had ever come across. The defiance? Sesshoumaru had no qualms about his ability to deal with it. He didn't like it and she needed to learn her lesson, soon, before she corrupted Rin, but it didn't scare him. It was nothing compared to this ... need ... he felt around her, this strange desire to smile.
And laugh.
It was a weakness and he knew it.
But it wasn't a weakness Sesshoumaru was all that anxious to get rid of.
He sighed, the sound long and forlorn.
At least he had taken care of that before it became a problem, Sesshoumaru told himself as he looked at the dangerous-looking claw.
She would never laugh around him again.
Not after he hurt her.
It was ironic, really. He had actually intended to help her, to melt the rotting tissue before it claimed her foot and her life. Instead, Sesshoumaru had been careless and shoved too much of his poison into her wound, so much that it melted far more tissue than he intended. She would walk again, but he suspected it would be with a limp. The girl was, after all, merely a human and didn't possess the regenerative abilities of his kind.
She was just merely human.
Even so, Sesshoumaru didn't need to close his eyes to remember the look she gave him as she bit her lip to keep from screaming in pain. In a way, it haunted him and even now, he wished he hadn't been so hasty. For the first time in his adult life, he hadn't wanted a woman to stop smiling. He hadn't wanted her to turn away.
All he wanted...
Sesshoumaru snorted in disgust as he rose to his feet, angrily pacing back and forth as the feeling flooded back into his soul.
A human. He had wanted to touch a human.
Perhaps he wasn't so different from the old bastard after all.
He wouldn't accept it. He knew it. He was nothing like his father. Nothing.
It was proven by the fact he had never raised a hand against Rin. Never. He clothed her. He hunted for her. He took care of her. His father had never done even half as much.
Sesshoumaru had been a far better father than his own had ever been.
A father.
Sesshoumaru stopped dead in his tracks as he looked towards the human village, a frown usurping the anxiety that had clouded his face.
Did he consider himself to be the child's father?
No. Impossible.
Perhaps he was fond of the creature, but her father?
It would be best to just leave. This moment. Jaken would find his own way back.
Kagome would treat Rin as if the little girl were her very own. There was no doubt in his mind that this was a truth. The girl would finally have a family. She didn't need to bother him with her presence. He could finally be free.
The frown came unbidden, corrupting his lips as he gazed helplessly towards the village.
Family. There was something about that word that always pulled at him. He blamed Inuyasha's mother for that, for filling him with a need that could never be fulfilled.
For making him forget that no matter much he may wish otherwise, he would never belong. A family was a luxury he couldn't afford. There were so many reasons not to want one: the hassle of having others depend on you, the inconvenience of assuaging a potential mate's hurt feelings, knowing that if he ever lapsed... if he ever allowed himself to feel, it could be used against him.
It would be used against him.
The choice was clear, really. Sesshoumaru would never have that family. He couldn't.
But that didn't mean Rin would be doomed to suffer in loneliness.
His mind made up, the youkai lord stalked towards the village, unable to resist looking at the child one last time before he left.
For good.
Note: Angsty, huh? I don't know why I keep having Sesshoumaru consider leaving Rin behind but it kind of seems natural. The man (as far as I keep writing him) hides from his emotions and Rin sometimes forces him into situations where he has to face them. At those times, I suspect it would be so much easier to leave than to express something that he doesn't have the words for.
Well, this chapter has been leading up to something *grin* and I don't think I can possibly put it off for much longer. Thanks for hanging in there and bearing with me and I hope you still like this story!