Title: Falling Stars
Author: Celyia (cel@celyia.com)
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all characters/events within belong to Rumiko Takahashi and minions.
Note: Hola! It's been forever, hasn't it?
Sorry about the long wait, but amid a sea of computer problems, writer's block, and other junk, this story was almost abandoned. Heh. But no worries, FS is back and stronger than ever. Chapter 17 (boring chapter, though) is already written and waiting for me to type up, and I expect 18 won't take too long either.
Special thanks to Alyson Metallium for beta-ing this thing not just once, but twice! Also, thank you to all of you who review. I cannot tell you how much it uplifts my spirits to read those and it's a good reminder to me as why I write in the first place. In all honesty, there would be no Falling Stars, Forget Me Not or any other of my stories without your support.
By the bye, I'd like to remind you of the existence of a Falling Stars sidestory I wrote called "The Wish". It's cute. You may like it. *grin* I only bring it up since, according to the logs, only 60 people have read that, compared to the 11k of the main FS and I'm kinda wondering if 1) there is no interest in the sidestories (I have several planned), 2) there is no interest in *that* story, or 3) it got lost in the huge amount of stories being posted daily :-)
Bleh. This is gonna be a long note, but the end of this chapter is long so I don't feel too guilty :-) Oh, a note on the honorifics: I've come to the conclusion that Rin is going to associate "-sama" with someone she loves, like Sesshou and Jaken. In a very strange way, while "-san" is the lower title, she's probably going to feel like its more formal. Hence, I've given her the habit of calling anyone she loves "-sama". She knows better, but she's gonna slip from time to time. Hope I've explained that okay!
Okay. Here's to hoping you guys like this. If possible, can you let me know what you think? I'm just dying (and kind of cringing because, well, I'm kinda scared) to find out.
Thanks a lot! :-)
-Cel
Email: cel@celyia.com
Mailing List: http://groups.yahoo.com/celyia/
Chapter 16E
She hated wearing jeans.
There was just something so confining in the coarse, tight denim that she just abhorred. Perhaps it was the rough feel of the fabric pressing against her body, staunchly determined to constrict her every movement until her very skin felt suffocated, or maybe it was in the way she felt naked without the soft, complying pleats of her skirt to shelter the curve of the hips she long disdained from view. In any case, the few times she would don the clothing, she'd always feel uncomfortable, ungainly, and oh so not like herself.
Yet long ago, Kagome had learned the importance of keeping a spare outfit or two in this time. Just in case, she thought with no small amount of annoyance as she flipped the dog-eared page of her math book, she couldn't spare the time to wash her uniform.
Her uniform. A small chuckle erupted from the very back of her throat as she fingered the soft knit collar of her sweater. It was silly, really. Even at her age, even after everything that had happened over the years, Kagome still regularly wore the uniform of her mid-teens. Somewhere along the line, the green and white cotton outfit had stopped being merely the dress of her junior high school and transformed into the unique garb that would serve to proclaim her identity in Sengoku Jidai. In all honesty, it was undoubtedly just foolish sentimentality on her part: not only was the clothing extremely ill-suited for her adventures, it also did mark her (with almost a defiant anger) as someone who was once and always would be an outsider. Certainly she would have an easier time here if she just broke down and wore the red and white garment of her miko's attire, but ...
Just the thought of making that concession caused a part of her, deep inside her heart, to practically snarl. Perhaps it would transform her odd appearance into that of a stately (and tenfold respected) miko, but it always seemed to have the directly opposite effect on her soul. Instead of making her feel like the miko she knew herself to be, her ego was smashed to smithereens with every reference to Kikyou that would inevitably be made. And Kagome would be damned before she allowed that to happen again.
But her school uniform had its problems, too. Originally, she had possessed four sets: two summer and two winter. Unfortunately, Sengoku Jidai wasn't very kind on even the strongest of the reinforced fabrics of the twentieth century and even her most preserved outfit was starting to become rather threadbare. With the recent loss of her only remaining necktie, (Loss? You gave it away, dingbat!) she no longer had a complete outfit. After all, it wasn't as if she could replace them anymore, not at her age. Add to that the hassle of trying to keep the ever-inventive Miroku from finding ways to peek up her skirt and also keeping the wind from blowing the flimsy thing up, Kagome always ended up wondering if perhaps this was more trouble than it was worth. But most of all, the thing she hated most about her uniform was its unfortunate effect of making her feel as though she were 15 again. And today, for some reason, she craved that feeling the pair of blasted jeans would give her: that yes, she really was an adult.
So here she was, laying on her stomach as she lazily kicked her jean-clad calves back and forth in the air as she forced herself to study for her dreaded exam. Math, ever the bane of her existence, still insisted on dogging her heels, even now.
Oi, Kagome thought with more than a hint of melodrama as she let her head fall onto the wrinkled pages of her worn book. There is no escape! With a deep breath, she attempted to pull her head back up, but with each successive millimeter, her eyes alighted on more and more numbers.
Dejectedly, her head fell back to her book, her nose resting above the torn spine.
Math just had that effect on her.
"Kagome-san? What are you doing?" she heard Rin's voice ask tentatively, the innately curious tones close to her ear.
"I'm studying," the woman responded, inhaling a deep breath as her fingers curled in the soft grass. Lifting her head to look at the child, a small smile touched her lips automatically as her eyes met Rin's brown ones.
"Can I study too?"
Something deep inside completely melted as Kagome laid there, her hands now propping up her chin as she saw the absolutely earnest expression on the child's face. There was no other word for it, Kagome decided with a smile: the kid was damn adorable.
"Don't you want to play tag with the other kids?"
Rin sighed dramatically as she sat down next to Kagome, her snub nose wrinkling as her eyes gazed longingly out at the dozen or so children playing what looked to be a very violent game indeed.
"I do, but ..."
"But what?" Kagome prompted, her eyes carefully scouring the meadow for any problems, just in time to see a little boy, no more than Rin's age, tumble headfirst into a spattering of white, scrawny flowers. Wincing even though the boy jumped up and rubbed the back of his head embarrassedly as the other kids giggled, Kagome nodded.
"Looks a bit rough out there."
"But I'm a big girl," the girl protested, her lower lip thrust out into a pout as she watched the game being played without her. "But Shippou-chan... well, he doesn't think so. He gets SO mad whenever anyone tries to tag me. I said Maeki-chan didn't mean to make me fall before but..."
"But Shippou-chan is being a bit overprotective, huh?"
The child nodded emphatically, her hair swinging almost violently. "Yeah. That."
Hiding the grin that wanted to emerge as she realized Rin had no clue what "overprotective" meant, Kagome took the opportunity to close the math book and watch the chaos before her.
"Well, that just means Shippou-chan is watching out for you, Rin-chan. He's just trying to be a good friend."
"But... but no one will even try to tag me!" Dramatically, the child fell to her knees and started to yank handfuls of grass out by the roots. Sighing with boredom, Rin flicked the grass over her shoulder. "I want to play."
"No one's stopping you, sweetheart," Kagome nudged the girl in her ribs, only to be rewarded by a high-pitched giggle.
"That tickles!"
Kagome blinked in her surprise as she looked at the child innocently.
"What tickles?" the woman asked, tapping her chin with a slow, deliberate motion. The corner of her mouth curved into a smile as her fingers suddenly attacked the child's ribs. "You mean that tickles?"
Screaming in glee, Rin threw her hands up in the air as she fell to the ground, squirming as the laughter rang through the fresh air. "Yeah! Stop! Stop!" Rin gasped out, her small body practically pushing itself against the woman's tickling fingers.
With a completely impassive look on her face, Kagome stopped tickling the girl and waited.
"Hey!"
"Hey what?" Kagome asked gamely, vaguely aware as several of the playing children stopped in their steps to see what the racket was all about.
"You stopped!"
"But..."
The child looked somewhat frazzled for a moment before a mischievous look came into the soft, brown eyes. "I'm gonna get you, Kagome-sama!"
Rolling dramatically away as small, tanned hands reached to tickle her ribs, Kagome laughed.
"You know this means war, right?" the woman panted out, more amused by the glee in the child's eyes than the actual tickling itself. Chortling at the undisguised delight on Rin's face as the girl suddenly pulled her hands away to cover her tummy, Kagome swooped down upon the child and reassumed the torture.
"What's so funny?" she heard Shippou's voice query; the tone almost accusing as the kitsune practically hovered over the girls.
"Rin started it!" Kagome giggled, her blue eyes round and (one could almost say) overly innocent, as she shoved a thumb in Rin's direction.
"HEY! I did n..."
"But that's only because she's so much fun," the miko explained, grinning as she watched the girl stop her protests long enough to puff up with pride.
"But not as much fun as me," Shippou quickly stated, his tone brooking no room for disagreement as he shot the little girl an evil eye that Kagome didn't miss.
"Oh, I don't know, Shippou-chan. Rin-chan may be just as fun as you are."
His wide eyes narrowed suspiciously as he considered both of the females.
"Where did you go, anyway?" the kitsune barked, his squeaky voice sounding so much like Inuyasha's in that moment that Kagome just felt her mouth quirk in amusement. "We've been waiting for you so you could play."
"No, you haven't."
"We have, too."
"Have not!"
"Have too!"
"Children, please!" Kagome muttered, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.
"Have not!"
"Have... come on! Don't you know anything?" Shippou blew air out from between his tightly pursed lips even as his small paw wrapped around Rin's wrist. "Don't you know that this is Kagome's study time? And the less she studies here, the longer she'll have to stay in the well?"
Well, that was an interesting interpretation, Kagome decided, leaning over to kiss Rin and then Shippou on their young cheeks. But, she supposed, there was some truth to it. After all, she couldn't make the same mistakes now in university that she did during secondary school.
"Shippou..."
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin's sweet voice called out, her hands clasping together excitedly as she stared at a spot just beyond Kagome's right shoulder.
Great. Who knows how long he's been standing there listening to me go off like an idiot. Wonderful. He undoubtedly already thinks I'm a moron after the fiasco yesterday...
Kagome closed her eyes, stifling the urge to sit up and hide her bandaged foot. There was just something so discomfiting about allowing Sesshoumaru to see her like this-- sprawled so indelicately across the ground, large green marks from the grass staining her knees and elbows. A flush darkened her cheeks as she remembered the time not so long ago when the roles had been reversed-- except she had, at that point, a lethal arrow pointed directly at his heart.
"Rin," his soft voice called out, resonating that stately assurance he always seemed to.
"Good morning, Sesshoumaru-san," Kagome started.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rin corrected automatically, a faint smile on her cherubic face as she stared hard at Shippou. The kitsune squirmed under the friendly but intense scrutiny. With a shrug of her thin shoulders, the child waddled close to the woman, grabbing the doll that Kagome had thought the child had forgotten.
"Thank you, Kagome-sama," the little girl bowed regally-- the gesture odd yet graceful. Yet, Rin remained oblivious to the golden eyes that Kagome couldn't seem to forget were watching, the child's mouth pulling into a small frown at her goodbye.
"Ah, Rin-chan, I keep telling you not to call me that. Kagome is just fine," the woman mumbled, brushing a hand, the awkward movement screaming embarrassment, through her hair. "Anyway, you know that you are wonderful to have here and you are more than welcome to come back any time you want. Well, if Sesshoumaru-san says it's okay."
Screw it, Kagome shook her head suddenly as she watched the light sheen of tears glaze the child's brown eyes. Rebelliously, she reached out and pulled the girl into her arms, nuzzling the soft mass of wild black hair with her lips. The little girl needed to be hugged and kissed, regardless how the youkai may feel about the propriety of such an act. Screw him, she thought violently even as she kissed the crown of Rin's head, and screw that macho bull that makes him unable to give this baby the love she so obviously needs.
Oh, be fair, Kagome. It's obvious he loves the girl, even if he can't say the words. After all, he makes a hell of a better father to Rin than Inuyasha ever made to Shippou. She winced at the train of thought, squeezing the girl one last time before she reluctantly let Rin go. Did she really consider Inuyasha to be a father figure for the kitsune cub?
No, Kagome didn't. Perhaps at one time, she would have liked to have thought so, but the relationship between the two was more akin to a sibling rivalry for her attention than anything else. Therefore, the comparison was an extremely unfair one to make.
But it didn't stop the thought from rushing through her head, anyway.
"If you ever need anything, all you have to do is say the word, sweetheart," Kagome insisted, her hands clasping tightly onto the child's. With pleasure, she watched as Shippou took a step closer and nodded in agreement. "I'm gonna miss you, Squirt."
"Squirt?"
"She says that when she likes you," Shippou explained conspiringly, his small paw mussing up the girl's hair, sweetly reminiscent of the way Kagome used to do that to Souta. Just the sight alone nearly made her giggle, though she quickly stifled her response. "She uses a lot of weird words sometimes."
"Rin wishes you could co--"
"Rin, make certain those children do not injure you," Sesshoumaru's voice broke in, the sound somewhat startling even in its softness.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?"
With a pointed look towards the rambunctious children rampaging through the trampled flowers and grass, the youkai lord spoke again.
"Do not allow playing to wear your out. There is a long journey ahead."
The girl blinked, looking every bit as startled as she stared at her guardian.
"Come on, Rin," Shippou muttered as he grabbed her wrist and yanked. "Come on before he changes his mind!"
Rin shook her head, beaming as she lurched forward towards the youkai, her chubby arms outstretched. Still, she seemed to think better of it and let those arms drop to her side.
"Thank you SO much, Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin wanted ... I wanted so much to play with my friends. I never had friends before."
Kagome shook her head, smiling slightly at the girl's delight as Shippou finally succeeded in pulling her away.
"Well, that's one happy little girl," she mumbled, her hand suddenly in the air as she returned Rin's enthusiastic wave. "I'd say you made her day, Sesshoumaru-san."
But the youkai obviously didn't deem it necessary to answer her for he just looked at the woman, those unsettling eyes piercing the morning light with their serious gaze. After a moment, he nodded his head -- an acknowledgement to what he undoubtedly considered her rather unworthy existence -- and turned his attention to the children laughing so happily just beyond.
He needed to relax. Big time, Kagome nodded to herself as she watched the tense way Sesshoumaru held himself as he folded his arms across his chest. Some wisp of emotion flickered in his eyes, the look gone before she could even identify what it was. Still, his hands clenched as she heard a bunch of rambunctious screams -- she didn't need to look to deduce that the children had fallen in a pile since it was obvious (to her quick eyes, at least) that it was taking much of Sesshoumaru's restraint not to race to his little ward's rescue.
He's a good father.
The thought came unbidden and somehow embarrassed her, but she decided the title was fitting. Who would have ever thought she'd be in the position to ever see Sesshoumaru's paternal instincts? The idea was amusing, to say the least. Not so long ago, she had been convinced that any meeting with Sesshoumaru would eventually end in tragedy.
But now, she was sitting here in the warm rays of the morning sun, as he stood no more than ten feet away; watching nervously as the girl he seemed to love like a daughter played in a wild game of tag. Good on you, Sesshoumaru, Kagome nodded, a smile coming to her lips as she tried not to look back at the youkai. Good on you for giving a damn when most people wouldn't.
Propped up on her elbows, she continued to lay there in silence as she watched the antics of the children. Considering the way they ran around and screamed so merrily, you would have thought that their mothers had never allowed them out to play before. Still, it was so nice to see Rin and Shippou playing out there like normal children. That really didn't...
Her thoughts broke off suddenly as the smooth scent of leather and the spicy scent of maleness wafted before her nose just a second before the shadow fell upon her. It took all her willpower not to look up as she felt Sesshoumaru's tall, slender figure stand above her, his formidable presence practically blocking out what little sun his head didn't. The weight of his golden stare burned into the back of her neck, the feeling so oddly disturbing that Kagome pulled the discarded mathematics book before her and opened it to a page.
Any page.
The youkai noble had yet to say a word to her, but she could feel something, almost like electricity, in the air as she pretended to read the book, her fingers tightly clutching the pencil that had been hiding beneath the cover.
Why on earth is he staring at me?
Kagome shook her head, the movement instinctive and nearly unnoticeable, as she tried to banish the sudden blush that touched her tanned cheeks. Self-consciously, she tugged on the back of her blue knit sweater, pulling the soft fabric down to cover the small of her back. Still, it seemed almost inconceivable that the youkai could look at her for so long (it seemed like minutes had passed already!) without his critical eyes focusing on something that he deemed wrong with her.
His disregard shouldn't have amused her, but the next thing that Kagome knew was that her face was buried within the text of the book in a desperate plea to hide the sudden smile she knew the youkai would not appreciate. Did he really think she cared about what he thought of her? Still, she could live without him hovering over her shoulder.
"Feel free to sit down," she bit out, the resolve in her voice hinting that her words were not really a suggestion at all.
Still, the stubborn youkai stood there, although he seemed to relax a little by leaning against the trunk of a particularly thick tree.
"You know, in most parts of the world, that's called 'standing'," Kagome shot off, a rather uncustomary smirk on her lips.
Sesshoumaru just looked down at her, a slender brow quirked in a rather arrogant fashion.
"In most parts of the world," he stated, the words flowing with a nearly mechanical grace, "it is usually more productive to read when the book in question is not upside-down."
Startled, Kagome glanced down at her book, only to feel like chucking it at him when she realized that it was fine. Stupid youkai and their dumb senses of humor.
But no matter how much she cursed him in her thoughts, the smile on her lips just wouldn't go away.
It was a rather interesting experience.
In all of his existence, Sesshoumaru had never before remained in the presence of a human for such an amount of time without having them cower before him as though he could destroy them in a single swipe of his elegantly manicured claws.
Even if it was the truth.
But to remain there, in such a comfortable silence, watching Rin and the other children play in the background as Kagome, lost in her books and papers, worked industriously on another sum, was rather an intriguing feeling. Comfortable was the key word, though he had no clue as to why he would feel such a way. Certainly he should move on and leave this farce behind before anything else went wrong, yet Sesshoumaru was reluctant to do so.
Perhaps it was the unexpected emotion he felt when he had heard Rin speak so blithely about finally having a friend. Or perhaps... no. It was definitely due to Rin's words. The child had followed him without complaint for such a long time that she had earned a reward for her obedience. And if the child wished to mingle with the peasantry for a few hours, then he would allow it this once. It was a small enough sacrifice to make.
Yet, it was a disturbing thought. He had previously thought the child happy enough, with her easy smile and infectious giggles, but as he watched her romp around with the children just beyond, Sesshoumaru had to admit that there was a rather distinct difference. This Rin practically glowed from joy, her little face alight as she suddenly bopped another child in his pudgy arm playfully, earning a disgruntled wince from the boy.
Could Rin actually be suffering from loneliness? The thought was repugnant and almost demoralizing as his eyes narrowed, his lips swerving into a frown. Loneliness was something he would wish on no one and the idea that the child might be suffering from it actually made him question his ability to take care of her. Well, for all of two seconds. He was a youkai lord, after all. Who better equipped to raise a child than he?
"Hey, guys. Play nicely!" the woman suddenly called out, not bothering to look up from scribbling in the book. But the children had managed to meander far enough away as to not to hear the shouted words.
Still the woman's ability to know what was happening with the children while calculating sums was quite intriguing. It shouldn't have surprised him since the woman had shown every sign of being an excellent mother, from the way that she had taken the kitsune in as her own and, even more impressively, mothered his Rin even though the woman had to be aware that she would probably never meet the child again after this day.
She would be quite a good mother, really.
He stared at her, smirking as her pretty cheeks reddened from his scrutiny. The woman, this Kagome, was actually a resource that was wasting away in this small, forgotten village. It would be a rather unwise choice to leave...
"You shall be the mother of my children."
Kagome looked up, blinking either from the sunlight that danced in her blue eyes or shock, Sesshoumaru couldn't tell.
"Pardon?"
The damnedest thing was that Sesshoumaru had no intention of saying that aloud, yet now that he had, he couldn't regret it. She would make an excellent mother. Yes. Aside from being quite attractive in her provincial way, she was obviously intelligent, educated, hygienic. His smirk shifted into a knowing smile as he nodded at her. In fact, it really was a rather tidy solution to several of his problems. There was not a doubt in his mind that this proud lioness would protect his children with her life, would love them as a mother should. He could even imagine it now-- her wavy hair flying in the wind as she chased several children down the steps of his fortress, one of her large, strangely attractive smiles on her pretty face.
Yes, it was an image he could actually look forward to seeing. With a momentary glance towards Rin, Sesshoumaru turned the full power of his gaze towards Kagome.
"You shall return with me," he said, his tone strong even as he tried to temper it with gentleness. Undoubtedly, the woman's... Kagome's surprise at the honor of being allowed to follow him was so great, that the normally verbose woman couldn't find the words to speak.
His control nearly failed as a chuckle tickled his throat, begging to be released as he witnessed the way her large, expressive eyes widened. Kagome was obviously in the middle of a desperate attempt to understand, and while he had not thought his words that difficult to comprehend, the level of innocence this showed was almost exciting. With an approving nod, Sesshoumaru bestowed an extremely rare half-smile on the woman.
The more the moments passed, the more certain Sesshoumaru became of his choice. The miko, with her strange powers, would be quite a tolerable mother, he decided as he allowed himself to examine her startled features carefully. And she had the added benefit of being quite beautiful for a human, as well. Yes, she was actually quite singularly beautiful. It was certainly a strange thing he had not noticed it before, but then, Sesshoumaru couldn't fault himself too much -- humans, with their odd ways and smelly bodies, tended to fall beneath his notice.
Of course, Sesshoumaru decided at that instant, his golden eyes falling to her pretty lips, he could never allow himself to produce a hanyou with the woman. After all these years of hell, he'd be damned if he made his father's unthinking mistakes, but. still, there were ways around that. While his experiences with the weaker sex were, admittedly, extraordinarily limited (especially for one of his age and rank), Sesshoumaru was worldly enough to know that much. There were always ways around that.
Nonetheless, Kagome would be a decent mother. While, with circumstances being as they were, he would not allow her to have any children born from her own body, he would allow her to raise Rin and any other heirs he may produce. Undoubtedly, the woman's active mothering instincts would kick in and she would enjoy a protective and productive life in this new role.
Watching as a slight, rosy blush crept up on Kagome's tanned cheeks, Sesshoumaru decided that he very much liked the look. The tanning, though branding her as the most menial of peasants, did much to flatter her fine features. Not to mention, it was probably a quite good idea to keep the lines between their classes not only present, but firmly etched into her life.
"Sesshoumaru-sama?" the miko stumbled over his name, blue eyes hesitantly searching his face even as the confusion practically emanated from her.
Sesshoumaru-sama? She had always referred to him as "Sesshoumaru-san" in the past. It was such an odd thing to hear from her pretty mouth, and though he knew he should have felt pleased at the easy way she fell into her new role, the foolish part of him that resided within the hidden depths of his soul couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed.
Brushing that thought aside, he turned his back on the woman.
"Come," Sesshoumaru grunted as he glanced towards Rin. Yes, it would be best if the miko learned her place now-- the last thing he needed was for the woman to corrupt Rin with her awkward ways.
"Excuse me?" Kagome's voice interrupted his thoughts, the tone sounding quite strained. Shaking her head, she pushed herself up to her feet as she peered at Sesshoumaru, her hands moving anxiously through her rather messy hair.
Silent and still, he stood there, waiting for her to follow.
"Collect Rin. You may also collect the kitsune child, if you so desire. As for you, take only that which you cannot part with. You will..." he drawled, allowing himself a look at the rather shameless and tight garment she wore, "... be given clothing at the fortress that befits your station."
"Befits my station..." she repeated in a slow voice, dumb and monotone.
"You cannot expect to continue dressing the way you do now," Sesshoumaru commented, slowly walking around her still figure in order to get a better look at her clothing. His eyes scanned her body, trailing up her long legs to the narrow stomach and nicely rounded chest, only to stop at the bright red face. Pleasing, yes, but not proper. "Perhaps my brother ... "
"I ..." Kagome started, trying in vain to hide her shaking hands behind her back. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "I can't be your wife, Sesshoumaru-sama."
He paused, blinking as her words invaded his thoughts. A harsh chuckle resounded from his throat, let loose by his surprise even as his long legs carried him back to face her.
"You think too highly of yourself, human," he sneered, looking down at her petite form with the full strength of his golden gaze. "What did I, Sesshoumaru, say of you being my mate? I merely said you would ..."
"Hey!" the girl interrupted, her hands up before her as those normally soft, blue eyes turned to stone as she glared at him.
Glared at him?
His face automatically schooled itself into a blank, impassive stare as the incredible anger on her face finally registered in his brain. Anger? Certainly she was far too intelligent to be be angry with him for just merely telling her the truth?
"I... I am not like that," Kagome insisted, her eyes flashing like summer lightning as she met his eyes.
"I, Sesshoumaru, realize this," he responded impatiently. "That is why you would be acceptable." Truly, the woman could be as dense as a rock for all her prowess with mathematics. Had the woman even a modicum of sense, she would realize she was in the wrong and cease arguing.
"I ... No. Absolutely not," she ground out from between her white teeth, arms folded across her chest as she looked resolutely upon the young nobleman.
No?
He stood there, his stance unconsciously matching her unyielding one as he forced any and all signs of emotion from his sculpted face.
She just refused me?
Yet the frown, stubbornly, came back to twist his lips in displeasure as he looked her over carefully, his heart beating rapidly and forcefully. Why would she refuse when she has everything to gain... he paused in the thought as the reason for her denial finally struck.
"I understand," Sesshoumaru spat, feeling the anger he thought he had locked up so successfully within boil and churn deep within his stomach, demanding immediate release. "You wished to become my mate. That, human, you could never be."
She stumbled backwards, undoubtedly surprised by the violence of his anger.
Good. She should be scared.
Falling with her back against the tree, Kagome stared at him, those blue eyes wide in what could only be called shock.
"I don't want ..."
"Silence!" he barked, his hand waving her words away as though they were not fit to fall upon his ears. "It is despicable enough," Sesshoumaru continued, his words soft yet piercing, "that I was willing to allow you, a mere human, into my home and bed. But for you to wish to become my mate? Your ambition truly knows no bounds."
Her face paled beneath her sun-kissed tan as she leaned back against the tree, almost as if she were stealing her strength from nature itself. But the transformation was sudden as she darted forward and for a moment, he was certain she was going to slap him.
Yet, Kagome raised her chin, those magnificent eyes narrowed in some emotion as she returned his stare, her hands clenching nervously at her side.
"I would die before I would allow that," she started, her words crescendoing with every syllable. Anger leapt off of her, infusing not only her trembling body but the very air that separated them with the vehemence of her disregard. "You think so highly of yourself, Sesshoumaru. 'I, Sesshoumaru, this.' 'I, Sesshoumaru, that.' Get over it. Grow the hell up. You think that just because you ... you aren't ugly and because you are some dumb youkai lord, you are god's gift to the whole stupid universe, don't you?"
She paused for breath, unconsciously flicking her straggling bangs out of her face as she continued. "Listen up and listen up good, buddy. I don't give a damn. I don't give a bloody damn. You make me sick. You actually disgust me -- from your callous disdain for everyone but yourself, to your willingness to destroy people's hearts and minds for your own selfish gain. For three years now, count 'em -- that's three damn years -- I've watched you hurt Inuyasha. Hurt Rin. Hurt Jaken. Do you ever stop hurting anyone? God, why do I bother? What do you care?"
"I, Sesshoumaru, do not," he spat, wishing more than anything he knew the words to shame her. To hurt her. To make this hurt less. No, it didn't hurt, Sesshoumaru told himself firmly. It couldn't hurt.
He wouldn't allow the bitch to do that to him.
"I know," Kagome spoke suddenly, the words lifeless. "I'm so stupid. I actually forgot for a little while, but I remember. Now anyway. Too late I remember," the girl sighed, her voice infinitely sad, her anger drained. "Go away, Sesshoumaru. Just leave me alone."
She just dismissed him? He stared at her, paralyzed by shock, hating her more in that one second than he ever hated his father during the entire span of the old bastard's life.
Slowly, wearily, she slid down the tree, her arms wrapped tightly around her small, vulnerable form. He could smell the hint of blood from her bitten lip and it didn't take much deductive reasoning to understand that the woman was doing her damnedest not to cry.
He had made her cry.
Just like that. The creature probably cried all the time, anyway. In fact, he should be congratulating himself on it. It was no less than she deserved, after all. And what did he care, anyway? He didn't care.
But if he didn't care, why did he suddenly feel like the biggest bastard to have ever have stormed over the face of the world? Something deep within called out to him, demanding that he do something, anything, to still those silent, pained tears.
Unable to help himself, he looked down at her, his mind burning the image of her into memory as she struggled not to weep on the slightly damp grass. He had to fight the temptation to kneel before her, the temptation to debase himself in order to see one of her pretty smiles. Instead, he allowed himself to meet her eyes, only to take a sudden step back in surprise.
Honesty.
Had he not known it was impossible, Sesshoumaru would have sworn he felt his heart fall like a brick to his feet, as he realized that there was no hatred in those startling eyes, only honesty. She believed what she said. Kagome had meant every single word she had stated, and probably a few more that she had been too polite to utter.
Cruel. Selfish. Uncaring? This is what she really thought of him. This is what she saw when she looked at him.
For one brief moment, Sesshoumaru wished he had the words to explain. He wished he knew how to tell her what he was thinking, what he felt, to assure her that he hadn't meant to offend. He wanted nothing more, in that fleeting, intangible moment, than to go to her side and say what he should have said in the first place. To say it right.
To tell her that unlike nearly every human he had ever met, he actually respected her. And for some reason he didn't really want to delve in to, he would prefer it if she were to remain in his company. As incredible as the thought was, there was a part of him that actually enjoyed seeing her, in her busy happiness, around.
He stood there, frozen, as he watched one tear finally escape the confines of her eyes, rolling down her face. His heart ached to touch her, to comfort her, to wipe away the tear, even though he knew she would only push him away.
After all, she had said it herself -- he disgusted her.
He closed his eyes, willing the surprising pain to go away but he found that there was nothing he could do at that moment to minimize it. In fact, the feeling was so strong that it literally hurt his chest. He couldn't breath, but he didn't want to banish it, either. As insane as it sounded even in his own mind, a part of him believed he deserved the pain for hurting her. After all, as he had just proven, there is more than one way to slap a woman.
Instinctively, longingly, his hand reached out to her, aching to smooth her tousled hair, aching to comfort her quiet tears until nothing was left but the smile that he had, somewhere along the line, grown so used to. But even as he started to reach out, his hand fell to his side as the futility of the gesture hit him.
After all, she was disgusted by him.
The growl came unbidden to his throat, the sound startling the girl out of her daze. Blinking, Kagome glanced up, only to have her lovely blue eyes captured by his golden ones.
She didn't want him.
And that was the way it should be. He would have been insulting not only his family pride but his own by allowing the human into his life. It was a certain as winter rain that the little miko needed a lesson as to her place was in this life -- that, due to her inferiority, would always be doomed to wallow on the lower levels where humanity rightfully dwelled.
"Rin!" he bellowed, oblivious to the way the child jumped in a panic at his loud cry, even though he savored the way Kagome winced. He waited, his eyes never leaving Kagome's defiant but trapped eyes even as Rin rushed up. "Retrieve Jaken. We will leave now."
The child's face crumpled, but she nodded. With a sad shrug in Shippou's direction, the child raced off in search of her guardian's retainer.
"Kagome-chan?"
The woman broke away from Sesshoumaru's stare to smile down at the young youkai who tugged so innocently on her sweater.
"I'm okay. Allergies. You know how I get sometimes ... "
"Allergies?" the kitsune repeatedly, bestowing a dubious look upon the woman.
"Yeah ... "
"Oh, I get it," Shippou stated as he threw his arms around her neck. "You are sad about Rin-chan leaving. It's okay, Kagome. She'll be back."
Her smile brightened as she nodded, her lips brushing against the kit's forehead.
"You're right, Shippou-chan. Thank you for reminding me what's really important here," she whispered, her words oddly peaceful. "Why don't you go help Rin for a few minutes?"
The child looked as though he might disagree for a moment, but the look on Kagome's face brooked no argument. With a small smile, the kitsune scampered off in search of the little girl who had become his friend.
"Take care of her," Kagome stated suddenly, her eyes focused on Shippou's retreating form. "If you ever hurt her, I'm going to seriously kick your ass."
His frowned deepened as he glared at the young woman.
"You dare presume to tell me how I shall treat the child?"
"It's about time someone did," she shot off, her face flushing as she pulled herself back up to her feet.
"You are a fool, human. One that demeans the very world by your mere existence."
"Oh, nasty. Oddly flowery, but nasty. Wow. That just really hurt," the miko mocked, the back of her fist brushing away the tears that had fallen stopped falling.
"The truth often does."
"Brilliant. Tell me, Sesshoumaru, did you get that little gem off of a fortune cookie or did you have to put your genius youkai mind to work in order to come up with that one?"
"Must you prattle on so, woman?" he grumbled, stepping away from her trembling form. "You pollute the air with your nonsense."
"Oh, just shut up," Kagome snapped, her pretty face contorted by impatience and anger.
"Your eloquence," he ground out, sweeping a low bow just because he had a very strong feeling it would annoy her, "amazes me."
He was right.
She stood there, beautiful in her rage, her eyes narrowed in hostility as she glared at him. Carefully, Sesshoumaru schooled his face to hide all his hate, all his burning anger beneath the façade of cool indifference.
They remained there, like two silent duelists standing en garde, unwilling to strike and yet, both unable to back down. For a moment, he thought they just might remain that way forever -- caught, like a deer in a trap, in the hostility of one another's feelings.
But with a defiant shake of her head, Kagome broke away, her face red as her eyes transfixed to a point just beyond his shoulder.
"Inuyasha..." she breathed.
With a single sniff to the air, confirmed that which her vivid eyes informed him -- his half-brother, fueled by anger and rage, approached. Normally, he might have chuckled at his brother's thrumming hatred, but strangely enough, only five words chose to pass through his startled brain at that point.
Just what I fucking need.
His golden eyes, so much like his brother's, narrowed as the scent floated before him intensely- a brilliant color brushed upon the canvas of his senses.
"Sesshoumaru!" he barked, his face still pallid and clammy from unseen injuries. With a growl, his eyes took inventory of his older brother, noting the intensity of the anger and hatred that practically leapt off of the lord's straight form, even as those golden eyes remained cold and uncaring.
The feeling is mutual, brother dear.
Yet Sesshoumaru merely looked at the hanyou, features impassive and blank even as Inuyasha took a step closer.
"Haven't you got the hint?" Inuyasha blasted, his palm resting on Tetsusaiga's hilt protectively. He grinned ferally as Sesshoumaru's hands clenched suddenly -- a sure sign that he succeeded in annoying him. "You aren't going to get it. You aren't going to win."
But for the first time in his entire life, the young hanyou saw something in his brother's nearly unreadable eyes that he had never imagined he would see: defeat. A cocky grin pulled at the corner of his mouth as he pushed his chest out in pride. It was about damn time his brother saw the way things were going to be.
Had he not known better, Inuyasha would have thought he saw a shadow of emotion flicker in his brother's golden eyes as they rested on Kagome's delicate features (Wait. Has she been crying?), but before he could really process the idea, the dog youkai gave a short, nearly imperceptible nod.
"I no longer wish for it," Sesshoumaru stated, his voice filled with an acridity that even Inuyasha had never heard come from his nearly unflappable brother. "No. I do not wish for it at all." With a shake of the head, the youkai quietly turned to look his brother in the eye.
"But you, brother, you have earned the right to carry Tetsusaiga. Father would be proud," Sesshoumaru murmured, the very softness of the tone striking Inuyasha with its sincerity. For a moment, he almost thought he saw a faint smile tug at Sesshoumaru's thin lips but that was completely forgotten as he heard the next words. "And your mother. She would be proud to see how you turned out, brother."
They stared at each other, the years of hate too present in both their minds and hearts to disappear with simple words, but it was obvious some sort of concession had been made between the siblings this day.
"Bye, Kagome-san!" he heard a small voice pipe up. Surprised, he glanced down at the young girl who currently had latched onto the young woman's side with the tenacity of a starving leech.
The woman looked startled, but dropped to her knees in order to envelop the girl in her arms.
Great. She got attached to ANOTHER brat.
"You be safe and take care of yourself, Rin-chan," Kagome tried to smile. "And listen to Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Rin will!"
"Rin..."
"I will!"
And then, with absolutely no word or warning, Sesshoumaru walked away, his head held high as he made his way through the long, damp blades of grass.
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin cried as she ran to catch up, her stubby legs covering an absurd amount of ground with a surprising speed. "Sorry we took so long, but Jaken-sama was eating flies!"
"No, this Jaken was NOT!"
"Was too."
"Sesshoumaru-sama! Can't we just leave the child here?"
"You're so funny, Jaken-sama!"
With a snort, Inuyasha turned away from his brother and looked to the sword that rested so innocuously at his side.
Euphoria spread through his body as he drew the sword from the scabbard and hefted Tetsusaiga proudly to the clouds, the feeling brilliant and shining, as Inuyasha felt for the very first time since retrieving the sword from his father's grave, that it was truly his.
Triumphantly, he turned to Kagome and flashed her a happy and extremely rare grin, only to notice that the girl's blue eyes, filled with sadness and what he could only call an odd sort of respect, were trained on Sesshoumaru's departing figure.
Something deep within growled as Inuyasha realized that the woman's attention lay somewhere far from him. If anyone, he would have expected her to understand what it meant ... what being acknowledged as the true owner of the sword meant, but instead, she was undoubtedly watching the brat vanish into the horizon with Sesshoumaru.
It was, suffice to say, annoying, though he couldn't quite say he was in a bad mood.
"Don't tell me you are going to start sighing again. I told you already -- you can go have as many fucking kids as you want AFTER you finish helping me get all the shards," the hanyou snorted, pushing Tetsusaiga back into its scabbard with a loud CLANG. "Had you listened to me in the first place and just given me the shikon no tama, you could be at your home right now, taking as many exams and having as many brats as you want..."
The idea really wasn't that appealing, but she didn't have to know that.
"Instead..."
"Inuyasha," Kagome interrupted without heat, her blue eyes still watching the horizon.
"... you decide to break the fucking thing up into a thousand pieces just because you decided to play with a bow and arrow," he continued, conveniently forgetting he had been the one to shove the aforementioned weapon into her hands.
"So, bitch," he smirked, an eye half-closed as he waited for the inevitable. "Just be happy I let you keep Shippou around..."
"I'll be back in a couple days," she announced plainly, rubbing her eyes slowly.
He blinked, frowning suddenly.
"What do you MEAN? You've got a job to do, dammit! You can't freaking detect fucking shards from there! You can't be going back for any of those stupid exams! You told me a few days ago that you wouldn't have any more for..."
"I need a few days off. I'll be back," Kagome shrugged as she started walking towards the Bone-Eater's Well, her black hair shining in the bright light. For a moment, she stopped in her steps, tilting her face up to receive the warm caress of the sun's rays.
In that one moment, she looked so beautiful as she stood there, savouring the sun in her innocence, that the hanyou was certain his heart had stopped for a second.
"You aren't going anywhere," he blustered, knowing he had to say something, but suddenly glad she wasn't looking at him. His mind, one-track as always, quickly reverted back to his previous thoughts. With almost a violent movement, he grabbed her writst, smirking triumphantly.
"You can't stop me," the teenager stated calmly, a slight smile touching her lips. "And Inuyasha?"
He winced, suddenly letting her arm go as years of experience warned him what was coming and, even annoyed, he didn't want to hurt the girl in the process.
"Osuwari."
Wow. That's 8k words. The whole of Chap 16 was a short story in itself. Forgive me for the hell I'm currently putting Sesshou through, but he's gotta earn Kagome, after all, or it doesn't count. Well, I hope you liked this portion. :-) With any luck, see you in Chapter 17!