Her sin

2-

By: Arish

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7.

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STUFF TO NOTE:

Italics: Vincent's Flashback

Or…in Tifa's POV…a voice in her mind

Bold: Centered on Cid and Vincent

Normal Text: Tifa's POV

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After that night she had been very jumpy. She didn't sleep a wink as she watched over Cloud. Yes…he did look like a child when he slept. A very scared child at the moment, but she didn't move to touch him. She could very well risk a broken hand if she roused him. It was best to leave him with his nightmares. Oh but how she wanted to comfort him. To be next to him and run her hands through that soft blond hair. She knew it was soft…she'd felt it before. Ok, so that was a little creepy…but true. He had given her the strangest look when she touched it, but shrugged it off as he continued to navigate on their chocobo.

"Tifa…the other's are back…" Barret's soft voice came before his head popped into the room. She gave him a tired smile before getting up. She left the room with him reluctantly, and nearly turned to go back into the room when she heard Cloud start to toss and turn in his small bed. But Barret looked back at her briefly, a knowing look on his face. She sighed as she followed him out of the hotel.

Gongaga air was unbelievably humid that night. Not surprising though, it had rained earlier in the day. And jungles do tend to get that way when it's hot. Zack…She frowned at the reminder. Her gaze flickered in that direction momentarily. But that was soon forgotten once the worried faces of her comrades came into view.

"You found her…but didn't get her?" Vincent said, his eyes on her. As usual, his voice was calm. It was as if he had asked her if the weather was so freaking hot. It didn't seem to bother him though; he hadn't taken an article of his clothing off. Yep, suit still on… cape intact. She cringed at the thought of those heavy, dark clothes.

"I couldn't we agreed that if we found her AND if we weren't able to get her to come back…that we'd meet back here" She answered. It was truthful. She couldn't have pursued Aeris through that enchanted forest. That and she wasn't bothered by the fact she hadn't seen Aeris enter it. She just felt it. She simply shrugged off the odd feeling and stared at them all.

"That's right Vinny…" Yuffie said, disappointment apparent in her voice. Tifa looked at the young girl sitting next to Vincent. Vincent didn't appear to be bothered by the nickname. Only a flicker of his eyes on the girl could give away any annoyance. Not like any of them could read it, not even Tifa.

Cloud could if he were here; Tifa grinned softly as she thought of that small smile that graced Cloud's face. It was a rare occurrence…but a welcome one at that. His eyes would light up, and he would look like a child. Even if it was only for that moment. But the only time he'd smile was for Aeris, or for Vincent. Her blood boiled at the reminder of the Flower girl.

"Don't worry Tifa. Don't need to get angry…we know you would have tried to bring her back if you could" Barret said as he stood beside her.

"Yeah, Cid continued, We'll all get angry after we get her back" He blew smoke out abruptly from his mouth as he said this. Cid was acting like an angry father. If this were the right situation Tifa would have teased him lightly about it. After that…Yuffie would have laid in on thick. Then the flower girl would have scolded her gently… Tifa stopped thinking about it. She hated that everything had to lead back to that…that woman!

"Angry after you sob and squeeze the very life out of Aeris" Yuffie teased, the young girl smiled over at Cid. Squeeze the life out of Aeris, oh- Tifa liked the sound of that. Cid scowled over at the girl through his cigarette.

"I won't cry, and I wouldn't squeeze the life out of her…but I would give her a nice big yelling, that's what I'll do" he said gruffly. Vincent chuckled at his friend's comment.

"And then you would apologize and give her a hug anyhow" He countered softly. Cid's face went a soft red and he glared at his good friend. He didn't say a thing though, Vincent knew Cid all too well… Tifa wished she could be that way with Cloud. But she couldn't seem to get past the blond's defenses. He shrugged her off, she hated it.

"Ah…Vinny…I think you hit a nerve!" Yuffie howled with laughter at the pilot.

"Shut up" the pilot snarled, and turned his back to them. He didn't seem comforted by the sight of the ruined reactor. You could hear him curse softly, a gloved hand hit the side of the building. A sickening cracking sound could be heard. You could hear him growl softly at the pain, but he made no move to bother with his hand. He only stared at those ruins silently.

"Cid…" Yuffie's pleading eyes turned towards Vincent. The ex-Turk patted her on the head briefly as he passed. All were silent as Vincent approached the frustrated man. Cid only looked at Vincent briefly before turning to the reactor again.

"Let me see your hand…" Vincent said quietly. His voice was calm, only a bit of demanding in it. Cid shrugged slightly and his arm went out towards the raven-haired man. Tifa watched them, her sharp eyes taking in the moment. Cid only mumbled a slight resistance before being lead to a lawn chair.

"Don't be a baby Highwind…" Barret mumbled, but winced when he heard a crack from Vincent gently setting his bone. Cid only grimaced slightly, his cigarette breaking from his teeth grinding together.

"Shit…" Cid used his good hand to brush away the now remains of his still lit cigarette off of him and onto the floor. He turned his head away from Vincent and spit what was left in his mouth. Vincent smirked slightly, but only Cid could see it.

The amused man wiped the remains of the cigarette off of Cid's mouth. His hand went down to a pouch on his belt and he took out a cure materia. The group had put the task of carrying the group's materia to him while Cloud slept. Yes, he would return it to the leader of coarse. He stared at the small green orb momentarily. It was so very green…like her eyes…and her son's eyes…

Their argument from the beginning of her pregnancy was forgotten. Forgotten in her happiness, and in his surprise…

He stood in the entrance of Nibelheim, unsure of what to do that day. He had some time off, but wasn't so sure of himself. What right did he have to be here? None, none at all- his mind told him bitterly. It was right… she was not a part of his life anymore…she didn't want him here. What she thought mattered the world to him too! So after a moments hesitation he made his way back to his car. But he soon stopped his retreat from that town. That voice, that angelic voice.

"Vincent…oh wait, please!" He turned to see her rushing up to him. Lucrecia smiled gently at him, her hands on her swelling stomach. She was positively glowing with beauty. Even more since she was pregnant. Gods, that baby would be gorgeous…male or female. How could anything ugly come out of such a woman?

"L-Lucrecia…" he said, still awed by her beauty. He stood there nervously in that moment. He was scared and some how dreaded this moment for eight and a half months. This would probably be amusing to other people, seeing as how she was dwarfed by his height. The woman laughed at his surprised expression. His heart was warmed by that laughter. She seemed to be the only one that could do that…make him feel.

Well, besides Cid Highwind. A young man with shining blue eyes and big dreams. They had been eating an afternoon before he left for Nibelheim. Cid seemed saddened by his leaving, and acted nervous all afternoon. But his excitement for space travel seemed to override that momentarily.

"Space… I can't wait to get there. Hey Vinny, maybe I'll even name a star after you" the young man teased. Vincent laughed at that, but could tell Cid was serious. Cid laughed at that as well, but you could see that stubborn look creep onto his face.

"That would be nice Cid…" he said, a soft smile on his face. His heart nearly jumped at the look that appeared in those eyes. That loving look, …it made him feel so…human.

"Vincent…oh… I have so much to tell you!" Lucrecia didn't give him a chance to protest as she tugged him along into the town. He felt the feeling from earlier leave him as he heard her cheerful chatter. There was no reason to feel so… out of place. Nor was there a reason for Cid to act like he wouldn't come back. But something was bothering him…something… the young man seemed like he would have sobbed as he drove out of Midgar. Perhaps Hojo could tell him something of it… Cid mentioned speaking to the man on the phone about the rocket fuel a few days earlier. That was forgotten when he tuned into her chatter again.

"Oh I'm so happy you came… Hojo told me you'd be on vacation. He spoke to that delightful Cid Highwind just the other day! Seemed a tinge upset afterwards…but then again Hojo is always grumpy about something, a light laugh followed it, oh, and you really must stay here for awhile! I want you to think of a name for my baby. It's gonna be a boy, a boy! …Vincent I …would really appreciate it if you would heal my hand already!"

" Wha-?" Since when did his Lucrecia sound so…manly? That voice snapped him out of his reminiscing. Once again, he saw the small green orb. Pained but curious blue eyes focused on him.

"My hand?" Cid said, now uncomfortable with those confused red eyes focused on him so fully. Other people wouldn't have noticed that light blush either. He must have been thinking about her…

"Sorry Cid…" He said softly. He hastily stuck the materia into the materia slot. He immediately activated the materia. His hands glowed green. Vincent gently held Cid's hand in his own. Cid shivered with the gently effect of the healing spell. It was soothing, like all the pain was washed away when the green glow stopped. He finally opened his eyes to meet those calm red ones again. They stared at each other quietly for a time. He shook his head and gave Vincent a wide smile. He blinked when the oddest expression crossed on that emotionless face.

"Thank you Vincent" He said, finally loosing himself from those eyes. Vincent let go of his hand and nodded, looking uncomfortable now. He grinned wickedly and stood up. He pulled Vincent into a tight hug of thanks.

The group laughed now, the tension earlier breaking. Vincent stood there; looking mighty embarrassed at the display of affection. When the laughter died down, silence enveloped the group once again.

"What now?" Red's voice startled all of them. He had finally arrived, his tail lighting up the area better now. All stared, unsure of how to answer the question.

"Easy silly, Yuffie exclaimed and skipped up to Red, we wait until Cloud wakes up! Then we go and find Aeris, then we continue with our journey…hey! Maybe we could even stay here for a time! After all…we'll all be so stressed out after we get Aeris…" She ran her hand through his hair absently as she said this.

"Perhaps that's exactly what we all need, a breather," Cid said, now standing close to Vincent. He chuckled and pulled his friend closer, with an arm snaked around his waist. Vincent glared at Cid, his eyes narrowed. He made no move to remove the arm, to Tifa's amused observation.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea" She said smiling. Maybe they could stay here…if she didn't think about Zack so much. Zack meant she'd think about Aeris…and Sephiroth. She shivered at the name, not having thought of it until now.

"Hey…it's starting to rain again!" Yuffie said hopping about an excited expression on her face. The rain was welcomed by them all, except Red, which he sat in the doorway of the hotel to watch them. The water was ice cold to their surprise, a strange thing to happen in such a hot place. They sat for a time and enjoyed the rain.

"You are all insane" Red mumbled grumpily. He plopped down onto his stomach and his tail swished lazily back and forth as he watched them. How could they like this so much? He was glad it didn't rain like this at Cosmo Canyon.

"Insane, but you love us!" Yuffie laughed as she frolicked in the rain. Chuckles from all in the group could be heard. Yuffie was annoying, yes- but they needed that child. That happiness she could bring to the group with her inquisitive nature. Yet at the same time selfish and would leap at a chance to take their materia. But…it was for a good cause.

"Though this rain is pleasant…I think we'd better think of something…"Vincent mumbled.

"But Vinny, we already agreed we'd wait until Cloudy boy wakes up!" Yuffie sung as she tilted her head back to drink some water.

"Yes, but while we're here… the Tiny Bronco is still on the coast… " Cid said, his love for the machine still strong even though it was now broken.

"Well…two can stay here and three can go…guard it" Tifa said thoughtfully.

"I'm staying here," Red said promptly.

"Me too" Barret said while looking at her.

"I…don't want to leave him," Tifa said while staring down at her shoes.

"Well three is a nice size group to leave. Grandpa, Vinny and me can go guard Grandpa's hunka junk. After the rain the weather at the beach will be pleasant…though a little damp" Yuffie said smiling widely.

"It's not junk!" Cid said stamping his foot, while feeling rather foolish for acting like a child. Vincent smiled a little at his actions before turning to Tifa.

"Yuffie has a point…it's the regular group size. I don't mind babysitting these two" Vincent said smiling a little at the two angered glances set on him.

"Then that's it! We'll head over to the Tiny Bronco when Cloud wakes up." Tifa said nodding. The three equipped some materia, taking a little longer because of Yuffie's whining on what she'd get. Finally, with the materia in their possession they needed, and a very satisfied Yuffie… Vincent handed the rest of the materia in that pouch to Tifa.

"Good bye for now!" Yuffie said waving wildly while Cid dragged her along, obviously wanting to yell at her for calling him grandpa.

"Good bye Tifa…call us on PHS before you leave" Vincent said staring at Barret as he disappeared into the Hotel with Red.

"I will," she said smiling. She stood there until she saw him disappear into the darkness. She didn't turn towards Zack's house until the voices of Yuffie and Cid bickering faded into the distance. It loomed out of the darkness, mocking her. She knew this place, oh how she knew it. Even before she saw it. Zack had explained in fine detail when she got to know him better. She loves him…because he looks like Zack! Like Zack…Like Zack… The phrase repeated itself in her head. She shook her head roughly. No need to think of it. NO need at all. But her mind seemed to plague her with thoughts she could easily push aside. When silence surrounded her they bombarded her. Poking, prodding, just never stopping. Accusing her…Angry voices, her voice… all so different though.

It drove her to madness nearly, but that two single comforting thoughts. One was Aeris dying…the other was happiness with Cloud Strife after they beat Sephiroth. Sephiroth… he always seemed to linger in her mind. Those eyes and that smirk…that soothing voice that always seemed to put her at ease. What…was that? Always put her at ease… where did that come from? How could she ever be at ease in the presence of such a man? Gods, she knew it! Oh how she knew it…he did something to her. But…he hadn't touched her except to brush a few strands of hair out of her face. What about when you shook his hand? Yes…when she shook his hand. The deal… had she made some sort of…deal that was unspoken? Oh course not…ridiculous. Sephiroth is an honorable man. Honorable, HONORABLE? What on the Planet made that sleaze honorable? He was courteous to you wench! He could have killed you, made you writhe on his blade painfully SLOWLY dying. He could have raped you, tore the innocence away from you that you so wanted to save for Cloud. Did he do it? DID he you ungrateful bitch?

"He could have…but he didn't" She said softly. She now noticed that the voice most certainly wasn't hers in her mind. Good. The voice was now strangely calm, with an almost pleased tone to it. You see my child… he has no desire for your innocence. He is way beyond those filthy human desires. He most certainly is on his way to becoming a God. I have helped him with that, would you not help your son if he wanted to rid himself of those weak emotions…to make him GOD. He will rule over those who shunned him…he will destroy them and create his utopia. OUR utopia my child.

"Sephiroth…your son. Then your…Jenova!" She whimpered this. Jenova, yes… that is what they call me. Amusing, isn't it?

"Not really. You're supposed to be my enemy…and now I'm speaking to you…"Tifa said timidly, now kicking at the ground. I am the ignorant worm of the Planet's enemy child. I am not yours…My son has taking a liking to you, and to Cloud…. You both display the pain that he once knew. I cured him of it…your just a reminder of what he was…. Weak.

"I-I admit I have some…problems. But I'm not weak…" she said; now roused. A gently laughter echoed in her mind at what she said. You are my child- weak. That is why my son wants to take care of you, he is your master now…you and Cloud are like pets…no…even better…his human Puppets. The voice was calmly detached as it said this. It froze Tifa's heart with fear to hear such talk. Sephiroth…her master…and she…his puppet? Madness, utter madness…Truth, utter truth child. He is your master, be blessed that you are in his care.

"No…" He owns you…

"Lies…" Completely…

"Shut up" Your mind…

"Jenova…" Your body…

"Shut up…" Your soul!

"No! He doesn't OWN me! Or Cloud, no one owns us…no one controls us! Fuck you Jenova, we aren't toys. AND DAMNIT WE ARE NOT PUPPETS" She hissed into the night. Silence answered her rage. Then a disapproving sound came from her mind. Fine child… deny the truth. I'll leave you to your illusions… The calming voice was replaced by the scream of the Planet. Tifa gasped at the pang of pain that shot through her head. High pitched, unyielding sound. Suffering, oh gods the pain. She found herself stumbling through the jungle, trying to get away from that god-awful sound. She finally tripped over something and found herself down on her knees. She covered her ears. The sounds still echoed through her mind. Hot salty tears streamed down her cheek, her teeth clenched in pain. She let out a blood-curling scream and began running again.

"Jenova!" She called out to Jenova. Nothing but that awful noise, she wanted to hear that soothing voice that gave her no pain. She didn't know why she didn't stop or where she was going. Her eyes were red and puffy, her lungs screamed for air that wasn't thick with humidity. Her body ached from all of the running, her head pounded. She needed something to stop it… god how she wanted to not feel right now. She sunk to the floor and cried, gulping down air greedily. She ground her eyes harshly with her fists, her chest heaving with sobs. Yes, she didn't want to hear…she didn't want to feel… she wanted that sense of silence. To think her thoughts…she did not want to think right now.

"That's not very human like…"The Planet's scream stopped, and she looked up a startled look on her face. A very beautiful woman stood before her, and unearthly glow to her. Jenova…. It was Jenova. In her true form…not that monster in Shinra's lab.

"W-what's not Mother?" she asked brokenly. She was so numb she didn't know she sounded like a child, or that she had just called Jenova her mother.

"Not feeling child, not thinking…not hearing. It sounds like a puppet to me…and you said you were not one" Jenova said, disapproval creeping into her voice.

"Yes, it does…doesn't it? A puppet…"she said thoughtfully, while at the same time cowering back from the tone of Jenova's voice.

"Indeed child it is a puppet…. But you're no puppet my pet" Jenova said smoothing down Tifa's hair. Tifa leaned into the touch, it didn't hurt…and it took away the pounding of her head.

"I'm not? But you said I was mother…"she said her eyes now closed.

"Only because my son refers to you as his puppet… you are a puppet in his eyes…but you are my child, my pet" When Tifa opened her eyes she realized they were not in a jungle anymore. Jenova was now sitting in a chair, with Tifa's head in her lap. She looked around confused; the room was so sterile looking. So white…not sterile… it looked so pure!

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Jenova said smiling.

"Yes it is mother…"She agreed. Like a good girl, not that she was lying or anything. She couldn't lie to mother. It was pretty, just in a very odd way. It seemed like a room Rufas Shinra would own or something.

"Well, I believe you learned your lesson my pet… let's get you back where you belong" Jenova said as she lifted Tifa's face to meet her gaze.

"But mother, she pouted, I belong here…with you" Her present mind screamed at her though as the words escaped her mouth. No, she didn't belong here. No, Jenova was not her mother. She was not her daughter either! But Jenova's soft smile wiped those thoughts away cleanly.

"Yes you do…but Sephiroth needs you…Cloud needs you. You will come home when Sephiroth is done with his journey…and when you're done with yours" Tifa nodded obediently at the woman's words, but her face was crestfallen. But she wanted to stay with mother.

"Yes mother…as you wish" She whispered, then set her head on mother's lap again.

"Good girl…good girl…" Jenova murmured soothingly. Tifa panicked when Jenova and the room disappeared. But Jenova spoke to her and she calmed as her eyes snapped open. She could still feel Jenova's presence in her mind. It comforted her. Yes, mother knew what was best…

"Tifa? Hey Tifa!" Barret's voice cut through her thoughts.

"Yes Barret?" She said after a moment, her voice not sounding so child like now.

"Come inside…it's raining again. It won't do you any good to catch a cold" She blinked and looked down at herself. She was nearly soaked to the bone.

"Yeah, your right Barret" she said smiling. So with that new feeling of numbness inside her, and mothers reassuring presence, she entered the hotel to wait with the others. Cloud will wake up soon…yeah…any time now.

~

Little did Tifa know that she lost her self completely…Lost in the darkest corners of her mind was her true self. She only had a strange smile on her face as she walks out of our view. It was like none of it happened…just a few moments of thought by a bitter mind such as hers…

~

Author's note: Argh, this was a rather long story. I hope you all like it…decided I did want to continue with this. I'll have more when I think of what I want to do with it...