KFire: Thank you for all your reviews! At last count there were about 35. I haven't been able to get on in a while, though. Sorry for the delay, oh revered reviewers, but my family went on vacation...and I've had a bit of a case of writer's block. ^-^;;;; Anyways, thanks so much for all the help. [sifts through papers] ahh...let's see...there was something else....[surrounded by various papers and file folders] where is it....?
Yusuke: [walking in] What's goin' on?
KFire: [distracted] I'm trying to find something...
Yusuke: [looking around] Jeez, Kay, it looks like Koenma's office in here.
KFire: [looks up, irritated] Why don't you take yer comments and shove em-- OH! here it is! [scans page] Attention readers! Since I have no desire to be killed, disembodied, and/or cremated, I asked you to suggest another target! And now! {drum roll}
[Kuwabara and Hiei walk in ominously]
KFire: The new target is.......Kurama!! [confetti and crepe paper rains down]
Yusuke: [laughing] great, I was getting tired of picking on Hiei!!
Hiei: [has a look of total vengeance] [evil smirk]
Kuwabara: [laughing like a complete idiot] heheheheh! It's you're turn now, rose boy!
Kurama: [shakes head and walks out]
KFire: He'll live.
Yusuke: I wonder how he'll take it...
KFire: Well...let's see. On with the fic! Whose Rei is it Anways! Episode TWO!! [cues lights]
{Music plays}
Drew: Good evening and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyways! On tonight's show!--
'Who're YOU looking at?'-Yusuke!, 'Whatcha doin' baby'-- Kuwabara!, 'Just leave'-Hiei!, and 'What do you waaa-aant?'-Kurama! Come on down and let's have some fun.
[camera to Drew's desk]
Drew: And welcome to Whose Line is it Anyways! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter; that's right, the points don't matter! --like a weedeater to Kurama! Hahaha...alright, if you've never seen this show before, the actors get up here and play various games, making up thing right off the top of their heads. And I give them fake points, they don't mean anything, just something brought over from England, so...
Let's start with the first game. It's called Two Line Vocabulary. The scene is Hiei catches his girlfriend, Kurama, cheating on him with Yusuke. Hiei, you can say whatever you want. Kurama, your lines are 'Hey, wanna join?' and 'Let's do it.' [Audience laughs] And Yusuke, your lines are 'What was that?' and 'I like it that way.' That's all they can say, nothing else...And off you go.
[Hiei stands off to the side, with Yusuke and Kurama in the middle.]
Yusuke: [presses himself firmly against the back of Kurama's body. He puts his arms under Kurama's arms and folds them over his shoulder, trapping Kurama.] [breathes against his neck and says in a lusty voice] I *like* it that way...
Kurama: [feels the hairs on his neck stand on end] [flushes slightly and coughs nervously] Let's...ah...do it..
[Hiei walks in suddenly]
Hiei: [smirking at Kurama] [shocked voice] Kurama! What're you doing?! I-heheh- I, ah, never knew!
Kurama: [looks quite helpless] ah..Let's do it?
Yusuke: [moaning] What *was* that? [mouths Kurama's neck] [Kurama gasps and tries to pull away] [Kuwabara is nearly on the floor laughing in the background]
Drew: BWAHAHAHA!! [wiping tears from his eyes] [laughing]
Hiei: [is enjoying Kurama's discomfort immensely] [comes closer to the pair] enjoying yourselves?
[long pause as Yusuke waits for Kurama to say something. Kurama looks frantic for a second before looking utterly miserable and saying the only line available]
Kurama: Hey, wanna join? [winces]
Hiei: [eyes widen with mirth]
Yusuke: I like it *that* way....[snickers]
Kuwabara: [laughing so hard, his face is turning red]
Hiei: [glances at Yusuke and evil gleam in his eye] you too? [and with that he presses his hands against Kurama's chest and leans into him, sandwiching him between Yusuke.]
Kurama: [looking somewhat annoyed and in resigned voice] Let's do it...
[audience claps and whistles] {Buzzer}
Drew: Alright, guys, good job. How was that, Kurama? A man's man, eh? hahaha. A thousand points each!
Kurama: [Head in hand]
Yusuke: [grins easily at Kurama]
Kuwabara: [pats Kurama's shoulder in a congratulatory way]
Hiei: [looks satisfied at having taken revenge]
Drew: Okay, the next game is called.....Questions Only! [Audience cheers] Kuwabara and Kurama on that end, Yusuke and Hiei on this end. The scene is: getting through customs at the airport. You can only ask questions, and off you go. Kuwabara and Yusuke, you're first.
[Kuwa and Yusuke walk out to middle.]
Yusuke: *What* is taking so long?
Kuwa: Are you in a hurry?
Yusuke: Can't you tell?
Kuwa: Is this a gun?
Yusuke: [coy]You mean the one in my pants?
Kuwa: [incredulously] You have a gun in my pants?
Yusuke: [suggestively] Wanna see how big it is?
Kuwa: [cracking up] I...ah, er....psh...
{Buzzer}[Kurama walks out]
Kurama: Have you seen the guy with a gun in his pants?
Yusuke: Why, do you want to clean the barrell?
[Director dashes off the set behind the camera]
Kurama: What's that supposed to mean?
[Yusuke opens his mouth to reply when the Director returns, glaring sternly at him. The Director's holding a sign with 'PG-13' printed on it. Yusuke scratches his head and walks off.] {Buzzer} [Hiei walks on]
Hiei: [completely ignores the Director] Did you *bleep* the guy with the big *bleep*?
Kurama: [looks surprised for a second then raises his eyebrows] who wouldn't?
[Director motions furiously at Drew]
Drew: {Buzzer} easy there, Hiei. Remember the rating. [laughs] Hey Kurama, pimpin' out today, eh? [Audience laughs and cheers] Alright the next game is calls Film, TV, and Theatre Styles. From the audience, yell out any type of style you want to see these guys perform...
Audience member 1: Baywatch!
AM 2: Monty Python!
AM 3: Star Wars!
AM 4: Sailor Moon!
Drew: Okay, okay...Got em....Alright, guys. The scene is: cashing out at a department store. Kuwabara, you're the ornery cashier, and Hiei and Kurama are a couple arguing about what to buy. Whenever you're ready, start.
Kurama: Quick, they're about to close! [He and Hiei rush to 'front' of store.]
Kuwa: [smacking gum at 'register' on other side of stage.]
Drew: {Buzzer} Baywatch!
[Kurama and Hiei glance at each other and then at Yusuke. Yusuke mouthes something at them. Kurama and Hiei glance at each other again and start to jog in slow motion with looks of completely fake distress on their faces. Hiei arrives at 'register', followed by Kurama]
Hiei: [grabs Kuwa's face in one hand and shakes him. Hard.] Kurama, he's not breathing. Resuscitate him!
Kurama: WHAT?![glares at Hiei]
Drew: {Buzzer}Monty Python!
[All acquire ridiculous british accent]
Kurama: We ahr the shoppahs of Ni!
Hiei: And we wont a shrubbahry!!
Kuwa: I will nawt get you a shrubbahry!
Kurama: Get us wone~!
Kuwa: No!
Hiei: [lops Kuwa's arms off] HA!
Kuwa: Have aht you! [kicks Hiei]
Kurama: you lost!
Kuwa: No I didn't!
Kurama: Yes, you did! You ave no ahrms!
Kuwa: Tis only a flesh wound!
Hiei: Whot?! [lops legs off]
Kuwa: [standing on his knees] Come ere~! Ah'll bite your bloody legs ohff!!
Drew: {Buzzer} Star Wars!
[Pause] [Hiei and Kuwa start sword fighting] [Hiei cuts off Kuwa's hand]
Kuwa: ARRRGGG!!!! I HATE YOU! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!!
Hiei: I AM YOUR FATHER!!
Kurama and Kuwa: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Drew: {Buzzer} Careful now, as you do it as...Sailor Moon!
[All pause again]
Kuwa: [to Kurama] Sailor Moon! quick! use the ...ah...Moon....wand!
Kurama: [looks at Kuwabara in horror]
Hiei: [also to Kurama] Yes, Sailor Moon!
Kurama: [silently cursing] Moon..ah..Silver Crystal Power.....er...Hit!!!?
[Hiei and Kuwabara both strike ridiculous poses]
Drew: {Buzzer,buzzer,buzzer} Okay, that was great. Two thousand 'silver crystal' points for Sailor Kurama, there.
[Audience laughs] [Kurama sighs and shakes his head] [Yusuke whispers to Hiei about picturing Kurama in a skirt and school uniform] [Both snicker]
Drew: Alright the next game is..Unlikely Superheroes! This is for all four of you. [To audience] Alright, someone give me the name of an unlikely superhero.
AM 5: The Annoying Kid!
AM 6: Captain Obvious!
AM 7: Disco Man!
Drew: Captain Obvious! We'll do Captain Obvious. And now, we need a crisis.
AM 8: No more Sugar!!
AM 9: Baggy Pants!!
AM 5: Rabid Pokemon!!
Drew: [laughing] rabid pokemon? [laughs]...Alright, Captain Obvious, there's rabid pokemon all over the world! What're you going to do?!
Kurama: Psh. [Rolls eyes] [suddenly looks bored] [in a deadpan voice] wow. look. there are rabid pokemon everywhere on the crisis monitor. where the hell are my superfriends...?
Yusuke: [comes flying in] Sorry I'm late, I had to shoot my pikaflu. [shrugs]
Kurama: It's the Unattentive Kid!
Yusuke: [looking around] huh?
Kurama: There's rabid pokemon, you gotta help--
Hiei: [walks in] Hn.
Yusuke: [glances at Hiei] oh, look, Random Boy...[trails off, looking at Kurama's shoes]
Hiei: [looks quite idly around] Hello.
Kurama: We fix this rabid pokemon thing...[is distracted by Yusuke checking out his belt]
Kuwa: [runs in] Hey!
Hiei: [gives Kuwabara a death glare] It's Captain Sugar...
Kuwa: [flashing a bright, toothpastey smile] Hey, I got it! I'll just feed the pokemon sugar until they're so hyper they blow up!!!!!
Kurama: -.-;;; [sarcastic] yep, that'll work...
Kuwa: [mimes sprinkling sugar around and leaves]
Hiei: [glaring at everyone] I FREAKING NEED SLEEP!!!!!!! [suddenly backhands Yusuke and leaves]
Yusuke: [didn't notice the hit, looks at Kurama] Hey, where did everyone go? [Kurama tries to answer but it appears Yusuke forgot he asked and walks off]
Kurama: [looking annoyed at them] Everyone's gone...[leaves]
Drew: {Buzzer} Great job! Thousand points each. What an interesting round...Anyways, we'll be right back. Don't go away!
[fades to black]
KFire: Okay! Third part's done. This last game wasn't quite what I thought it'd be but...What do you think? Better? Worse? Same? I'm running out of ideas here...[Kurama suddenly walks in] Hello Kurama.
Kurama: [glares at her]
KFire: awww...come on...
Kurama: [eyes flash and he leaves]
KFire: [suddenly notices all the ...shrubbery.] HEY!
Yusuke: [tries to come in] What's going on here?
KFire: I think Kurama's kinda pissed.
Yusuke: You THINK?!
KFire: Shut up and start hacking.
Yusuke: Waitasec. What about Hiei?
KFire: Oh yeah...HHHHIIIEEEEIIII!!!!!!!!!
Hiei: What?
KFire: How long have you been in here?
Hiei: long enough.
Yusuke: Can you fry this stuff?
Hiei: It'll cost you.
KFire: How about I'll torture you in the next part if you don't.
Hiei: Fine. [muttering] [flames the plants]
Yusuke: Yep. I'd be careful if I were you...
KFire: [sighing] yeah.. Oh, that's right. Readers, please send me any comments or ideas you have! I'd love to make them happen!! ^-^
Hiei: [to Yusuke] she never stops, huh?
Yusuke: nope...
KFire: Oh yeah. Special thanks for suggestions for this episode to: ArtikGato, Blackflower, Snowbliz, Di_En, Katoumaru, ShinkuAme, Dragon Master Lytore, Gatochu, animegirl3, DarkFire, Izzy A-chan, and Touya no Miko!! Many of you suggested props and Irish Drinking Song...ideas?? Anyone?? And thanks for all the encouragement! It really means a lot. ^-^ Till next time!
Yusuke: [walking in] What's goin' on?
KFire: [distracted] I'm trying to find something...
Yusuke: [looking around] Jeez, Kay, it looks like Koenma's office in here.
KFire: [looks up, irritated] Why don't you take yer comments and shove em-- OH! here it is! [scans page] Attention readers! Since I have no desire to be killed, disembodied, and/or cremated, I asked you to suggest another target! And now! {drum roll}
[Kuwabara and Hiei walk in ominously]
KFire: The new target is.......Kurama!! [confetti and crepe paper rains down]
Yusuke: [laughing] great, I was getting tired of picking on Hiei!!
Hiei: [has a look of total vengeance] [evil smirk]
Kuwabara: [laughing like a complete idiot] heheheheh! It's you're turn now, rose boy!
Kurama: [shakes head and walks out]
KFire: He'll live.
Yusuke: I wonder how he'll take it...
KFire: Well...let's see. On with the fic! Whose Rei is it Anways! Episode TWO!! [cues lights]
{Music plays}
Drew: Good evening and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyways! On tonight's show!--
'Who're YOU looking at?'-Yusuke!, 'Whatcha doin' baby'-- Kuwabara!, 'Just leave'-Hiei!, and 'What do you waaa-aant?'-Kurama! Come on down and let's have some fun.
[camera to Drew's desk]
Drew: And welcome to Whose Line is it Anyways! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter; that's right, the points don't matter! --like a weedeater to Kurama! Hahaha...alright, if you've never seen this show before, the actors get up here and play various games, making up thing right off the top of their heads. And I give them fake points, they don't mean anything, just something brought over from England, so...
Let's start with the first game. It's called Two Line Vocabulary. The scene is Hiei catches his girlfriend, Kurama, cheating on him with Yusuke. Hiei, you can say whatever you want. Kurama, your lines are 'Hey, wanna join?' and 'Let's do it.' [Audience laughs] And Yusuke, your lines are 'What was that?' and 'I like it that way.' That's all they can say, nothing else...And off you go.
[Hiei stands off to the side, with Yusuke and Kurama in the middle.]
Yusuke: [presses himself firmly against the back of Kurama's body. He puts his arms under Kurama's arms and folds them over his shoulder, trapping Kurama.] [breathes against his neck and says in a lusty voice] I *like* it that way...
Kurama: [feels the hairs on his neck stand on end] [flushes slightly and coughs nervously] Let's...ah...do it..
[Hiei walks in suddenly]
Hiei: [smirking at Kurama] [shocked voice] Kurama! What're you doing?! I-heheh- I, ah, never knew!
Kurama: [looks quite helpless] ah..Let's do it?
Yusuke: [moaning] What *was* that? [mouths Kurama's neck] [Kurama gasps and tries to pull away] [Kuwabara is nearly on the floor laughing in the background]
Drew: BWAHAHAHA!! [wiping tears from his eyes] [laughing]
Hiei: [is enjoying Kurama's discomfort immensely] [comes closer to the pair] enjoying yourselves?
[long pause as Yusuke waits for Kurama to say something. Kurama looks frantic for a second before looking utterly miserable and saying the only line available]
Kurama: Hey, wanna join? [winces]
Hiei: [eyes widen with mirth]
Yusuke: I like it *that* way....[snickers]
Kuwabara: [laughing so hard, his face is turning red]
Hiei: [glances at Yusuke and evil gleam in his eye] you too? [and with that he presses his hands against Kurama's chest and leans into him, sandwiching him between Yusuke.]
Kurama: [looking somewhat annoyed and in resigned voice] Let's do it...
[audience claps and whistles] {Buzzer}
Drew: Alright, guys, good job. How was that, Kurama? A man's man, eh? hahaha. A thousand points each!
Kurama: [Head in hand]
Yusuke: [grins easily at Kurama]
Kuwabara: [pats Kurama's shoulder in a congratulatory way]
Hiei: [looks satisfied at having taken revenge]
Drew: Okay, the next game is called.....Questions Only! [Audience cheers] Kuwabara and Kurama on that end, Yusuke and Hiei on this end. The scene is: getting through customs at the airport. You can only ask questions, and off you go. Kuwabara and Yusuke, you're first.
[Kuwa and Yusuke walk out to middle.]
Yusuke: *What* is taking so long?
Kuwa: Are you in a hurry?
Yusuke: Can't you tell?
Kuwa: Is this a gun?
Yusuke: [coy]You mean the one in my pants?
Kuwa: [incredulously] You have a gun in my pants?
Yusuke: [suggestively] Wanna see how big it is?
Kuwa: [cracking up] I...ah, er....psh...
{Buzzer}[Kurama walks out]
Kurama: Have you seen the guy with a gun in his pants?
Yusuke: Why, do you want to clean the barrell?
[Director dashes off the set behind the camera]
Kurama: What's that supposed to mean?
[Yusuke opens his mouth to reply when the Director returns, glaring sternly at him. The Director's holding a sign with 'PG-13' printed on it. Yusuke scratches his head and walks off.] {Buzzer} [Hiei walks on]
Hiei: [completely ignores the Director] Did you *bleep* the guy with the big *bleep*?
Kurama: [looks surprised for a second then raises his eyebrows] who wouldn't?
[Director motions furiously at Drew]
Drew: {Buzzer} easy there, Hiei. Remember the rating. [laughs] Hey Kurama, pimpin' out today, eh? [Audience laughs and cheers] Alright the next game is calls Film, TV, and Theatre Styles. From the audience, yell out any type of style you want to see these guys perform...
Audience member 1: Baywatch!
AM 2: Monty Python!
AM 3: Star Wars!
AM 4: Sailor Moon!
Drew: Okay, okay...Got em....Alright, guys. The scene is: cashing out at a department store. Kuwabara, you're the ornery cashier, and Hiei and Kurama are a couple arguing about what to buy. Whenever you're ready, start.
Kurama: Quick, they're about to close! [He and Hiei rush to 'front' of store.]
Kuwa: [smacking gum at 'register' on other side of stage.]
Drew: {Buzzer} Baywatch!
[Kurama and Hiei glance at each other and then at Yusuke. Yusuke mouthes something at them. Kurama and Hiei glance at each other again and start to jog in slow motion with looks of completely fake distress on their faces. Hiei arrives at 'register', followed by Kurama]
Hiei: [grabs Kuwa's face in one hand and shakes him. Hard.] Kurama, he's not breathing. Resuscitate him!
Kurama: WHAT?![glares at Hiei]
Drew: {Buzzer}Monty Python!
[All acquire ridiculous british accent]
Kurama: We ahr the shoppahs of Ni!
Hiei: And we wont a shrubbahry!!
Kuwa: I will nawt get you a shrubbahry!
Kurama: Get us wone~!
Kuwa: No!
Hiei: [lops Kuwa's arms off] HA!
Kuwa: Have aht you! [kicks Hiei]
Kurama: you lost!
Kuwa: No I didn't!
Kurama: Yes, you did! You ave no ahrms!
Kuwa: Tis only a flesh wound!
Hiei: Whot?! [lops legs off]
Kuwa: [standing on his knees] Come ere~! Ah'll bite your bloody legs ohff!!
Drew: {Buzzer} Star Wars!
[Pause] [Hiei and Kuwa start sword fighting] [Hiei cuts off Kuwa's hand]
Kuwa: ARRRGGG!!!! I HATE YOU! YOU KILLED MY FATHER!!!
Hiei: I AM YOUR FATHER!!
Kurama and Kuwa: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Drew: {Buzzer} Careful now, as you do it as...Sailor Moon!
[All pause again]
Kuwa: [to Kurama] Sailor Moon! quick! use the ...ah...Moon....wand!
Kurama: [looks at Kuwabara in horror]
Hiei: [also to Kurama] Yes, Sailor Moon!
Kurama: [silently cursing] Moon..ah..Silver Crystal Power.....er...Hit!!!?
[Hiei and Kuwabara both strike ridiculous poses]
Drew: {Buzzer,buzzer,buzzer} Okay, that was great. Two thousand 'silver crystal' points for Sailor Kurama, there.
[Audience laughs] [Kurama sighs and shakes his head] [Yusuke whispers to Hiei about picturing Kurama in a skirt and school uniform] [Both snicker]
Drew: Alright the next game is..Unlikely Superheroes! This is for all four of you. [To audience] Alright, someone give me the name of an unlikely superhero.
AM 5: The Annoying Kid!
AM 6: Captain Obvious!
AM 7: Disco Man!
Drew: Captain Obvious! We'll do Captain Obvious. And now, we need a crisis.
AM 8: No more Sugar!!
AM 9: Baggy Pants!!
AM 5: Rabid Pokemon!!
Drew: [laughing] rabid pokemon? [laughs]...Alright, Captain Obvious, there's rabid pokemon all over the world! What're you going to do?!
Kurama: Psh. [Rolls eyes] [suddenly looks bored] [in a deadpan voice] wow. look. there are rabid pokemon everywhere on the crisis monitor. where the hell are my superfriends...?
Yusuke: [comes flying in] Sorry I'm late, I had to shoot my pikaflu. [shrugs]
Kurama: It's the Unattentive Kid!
Yusuke: [looking around] huh?
Kurama: There's rabid pokemon, you gotta help--
Hiei: [walks in] Hn.
Yusuke: [glances at Hiei] oh, look, Random Boy...[trails off, looking at Kurama's shoes]
Hiei: [looks quite idly around] Hello.
Kurama: We fix this rabid pokemon thing...[is distracted by Yusuke checking out his belt]
Kuwa: [runs in] Hey!
Hiei: [gives Kuwabara a death glare] It's Captain Sugar...
Kuwa: [flashing a bright, toothpastey smile] Hey, I got it! I'll just feed the pokemon sugar until they're so hyper they blow up!!!!!
Kurama: -.-;;; [sarcastic] yep, that'll work...
Kuwa: [mimes sprinkling sugar around and leaves]
Hiei: [glaring at everyone] I FREAKING NEED SLEEP!!!!!!! [suddenly backhands Yusuke and leaves]
Yusuke: [didn't notice the hit, looks at Kurama] Hey, where did everyone go? [Kurama tries to answer but it appears Yusuke forgot he asked and walks off]
Kurama: [looking annoyed at them] Everyone's gone...[leaves]
Drew: {Buzzer} Great job! Thousand points each. What an interesting round...Anyways, we'll be right back. Don't go away!
[fades to black]
KFire: Okay! Third part's done. This last game wasn't quite what I thought it'd be but...What do you think? Better? Worse? Same? I'm running out of ideas here...[Kurama suddenly walks in] Hello Kurama.
Kurama: [glares at her]
KFire: awww...come on...
Kurama: [eyes flash and he leaves]
KFire: [suddenly notices all the ...shrubbery.] HEY!
Yusuke: [tries to come in] What's going on here?
KFire: I think Kurama's kinda pissed.
Yusuke: You THINK?!
KFire: Shut up and start hacking.
Yusuke: Waitasec. What about Hiei?
KFire: Oh yeah...HHHHIIIEEEEIIII!!!!!!!!!
Hiei: What?
KFire: How long have you been in here?
Hiei: long enough.
Yusuke: Can you fry this stuff?
Hiei: It'll cost you.
KFire: How about I'll torture you in the next part if you don't.
Hiei: Fine. [muttering] [flames the plants]
Yusuke: Yep. I'd be careful if I were you...
KFire: [sighing] yeah.. Oh, that's right. Readers, please send me any comments or ideas you have! I'd love to make them happen!! ^-^
Hiei: [to Yusuke] she never stops, huh?
Yusuke: nope...
KFire: Oh yeah. Special thanks for suggestions for this episode to: ArtikGato, Blackflower, Snowbliz, Di_En, Katoumaru, ShinkuAme, Dragon Master Lytore, Gatochu, animegirl3, DarkFire, Izzy A-chan, and Touya no Miko!! Many of you suggested props and Irish Drinking Song...ideas?? Anyone?? And thanks for all the encouragement! It really means a lot. ^-^ Till next time!