Learning To Love and Learning From Love

A/N: I'm back with another chapter! I just hope you people are enjoying this fic. I just hope that everyone liked chapter 10. Ok, so the story will now get into at least minor E+T romance ^_^ So, I'll go on now. If you're able to review by the time I post this up... please do. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS at all so you don't own the right to sue me, ok? And there is one book I use... I don't own that either.

Chapter 11: Realizations

"..." = Dialogue

'...' = Thoughts

~*~ = Scene/time change

[...] = Italicized words

["Hello?" Meiling cried out through this empty place she had come to. Where she was she didn't know. All she knew was she was outside in the night. But nonetheless, it was a beautiful night. The moon was out and the stars filled every inch of the dark blue sky. It was all perfect as Meiling looked up into the light, eyes glowing with amazement, the light reflecting off her face. Then she heard footsteps behind her.]

[She froze in fear and tried not to turn around. Half of her mind directed her to run while the other half didn't want to move at all in fear of getting caught. The latter won anyways, because her legs wouldn't listen. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder and she turned around as a quick reaction. She found herself staring at an extremely tall person almost twice her size. Even with all the light from the sky, it still was too dark to see the person's face. But Meiling recognized that this person was a male. It was as if he had a blanket of shadow around his body.]

[After a few moments of silence, Meiling was still standing there, staring up at this person. Something about him attracted Meiling a lot and she wanted to know who he was. Then, finally, one of them moved. He stood there in front of her and leaned down slowly. Meiling didn't know how to react. She just stood there, frozen, watching him continue to lean down. She then slowly closed her eyes and braced herself...]

"MEILING!!!" a loud voice that sounded uncannily like her brother rang through her ears as a violent shake caused her to open her eyes. "What the..." she said groggily, lifting up her head. She saw her brother Syaoran standing there, his arms crossed a scolding yet worried look was planted on his face. Then Meiling's eyes popped open, jumping out of her 'bed.' Or what she thought was her bed.

"SYAORAN!!! What are you doing here in my room?!?!" she asked at first with a surprised expression, rapidly changing into one of anger. Syaoran looked at her skeptically. "This isn't your room. This is the study room and you fell asleep while reading... something." Syaoran informed her, glancing at the book on the desk she had fallen asleep on. Her face burned with embarrassment. The scene from last night unfolded in her head...

Flashback

"So we're through with your math homework, right?" Touya asked, prepared to stand up and go on to his room. Meiling nodded, her face in a dream-like state, her eyes looking like they were staring off into another world. Then she suddenly remembered something. She knew she ought to ask someone else like Tomoyo, but she felt like she wanted to ask Touya. She saw him walking away and reacted fast.

She stood up at the speed of lightning and yelled out "Wait!" He stopped and turned around, a surprised look settling on his face which then turned gentle. Meiling stood there, her face burning, feeling like an idiot. "I-I have a book report due for next week... um... er..." Meiling asked, fumbling with words and wringing her wrists. "C-Can you suggest a book to me?!" she finally blurted out, her face burning even more, if possible. Touya smiled at Meiling and she looked down.

This was interesting. Syaoran, the Li brother, falling in love with Sakura, the Kinomoto sister. And Meiling, the Li sister, falling... Meiling shook her head violently. She wasn't. Of course she wasn't. Her love for Hiiragizawa Eriol wasn't true... it couldn't be true this time. It was [just] a huge infatuation... that's all... right...?

Her thoughts couldn't go on as Touya had already started talking. "Well, there is this one book I really enjoyed. I read it not too long ago at the orphanage. A real novel." he said, thinking hard to remember the book. "What was it?" Meiling asked with curiosity but also a bit proud that she had asked without stuttering. "It's an American book translated into Chinese." he informed her, getting a pencil and paper ready to write down on.

Meiling nodded, again enchanted by him. He wrote down in neat Chinese characters a title of a book and the author's name in English. (A/N: How would Chinese people write down an English name? From what I know of Chinese, they have characters that have meanings... but I don't know how they would write down an English name. In Japanese, they would write down Katakana, but... help... oh well. I'm sorry if I got it wrong.)

Touya handed the piece of paper to Meiling and while she reached out to grab it, their hands slightly touched. [Slightly.] Neither of them had ever known how one small touch from someone could send such an electric shock down your back. They immediately withdrew after Meiling had her fingers gripping the paper. Both had dark blushes on their cheeks and didn't know what to say.

After a moment, Meiling had calmed down and had shaken it off as best as she could. Which didn't have a very good result. She looked down at the piece of paper and read it. Translated, it read "A Walk To Remember" by "Nicholas Sparks." Meiling hesitantly looked back up at Touya. He seemed like he had shaken it off as well (at least on the outside) and smiled at her again. "You'll like it." he told her and turned to leave. Meiling smiled and lightly blushed, looking toward the ground.

"Thank you." she said softly, barely loud enough for him to hear it. He smiled again and turned his head around so he could see her. "Anytime kid." he said and walked off. It hit Meiling a bit hard. Her small smile turned into a small frown. He thought of her as a little kid... it was no big deal... but she didn't like that at all for some reason. She tried to shake it off. She couldn't worry about that now. She had a book to find.

End Flashback

She had ran to the library and after half an hour of searching, she had finally found the book. By the time she got back home, it was nearly 10, her bedtime. But she didn't want to go to bed just yet. She had to read the book, finish it by tomorrow, make Touya proud... She had immediately sat down in a desk in the study room, consuming the pages. It actually turned out to be one of the best books she had read. The romance in it was absolutely pure and sweet and touched her deeply. She [had] finished the book, awed by it, but she had apparently fallen asleep soon after that, too tired to get up. But she didn't think that the book had caused her abnormal dream...

"Meiling?" Syaoran asked, looking at her worriedly. Meiling snapped from her small flashback and looked up to her brother. "It's nothing, Syaoran." she assured, picking up the book. Then Syaoran suddenly took the book from her and inspected the cover. "A Walk To Remember? Why are you reading this?" he asked, looking at her skeptically. Her face changed to a bright shade of red.

"F-For the... b-book report..." Meiling stuttered mindlessly, trying to form the right words. Syaoran narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Why choose an American novel?" he queried critically, holding the book up for her to see. "... I.... um..." Meiling was at a loss for words and was frantically trying to find some. Then an idea popped into her head.

"It was from Eriol! He used to live in England and had read the book. He said it was a really good book to read and..." Meiling answered a bit nervously, twiddling her thumbs, anxious to see if he bought it. Syaoran's suspicious expression changed into an annoyed and slightly angry one. He had never like Eriol and the fact that his sister got along just fine made him a bit annoyed. It was just a relief that Sakura didn't put much interest into him... Syaoran suddenly stopped his train of thought... where had that come from?

Syaoran nodded solemnly, his mind horribly plagued with his problem of thinking about 'that girl' all the time. "Syaoran?" Meiling suddenly called for him. "Aa." he replied mindlessly, half-listening to her. "What time is it?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. Syaoran stood there for a second, doing a double-take. Their eyes met in a fearful half-second and then dashed to the clock. 7:50

Two screams, one extremely high-pitched and the other pretty low, echoed throughout the mansion. Maids and butlers looked up, rather alarmed from the deafening yells. More words could be heard from the study room where the two were frantically panicked in. "Syaoran!!! I still have to dress and wash up!!!" Meiling yelled frantically, making her way upstairs.

"Hey! Hurry up!" Syaoran shouted up to her, staring at the clock and tapping his foot in a panicked manner. They had 10 minutes to get ready and run as fast as hell to school. A loud "ow" was heard from upstairs as Meiling painfully tripped. Syaoran slapped his forehead. For the first time in their life, they were going to be late for school.

~*~

"Everyone get to your seats. Class is now starting." Mr. Terada's voice commanded over the class. The students obediently did just that. Tomoyo shot a worried glance at the seat next to her. Syaoran had never been late let alone absent before. Even when his energy was drained from the card-changing session Eriol was giving him. Her eyes flickered for just a second. Eriol. The boy who was sitting behind her had nearly hurt [her] Syaoran. It was for the best... but... she couldn't help but count it a sin.

Suddenly the door slid open at the speed of light and there stood a panting Meiling and a very irritated looking Syaoran. "Both of you are late for the first time." Mr. Terada stated almost in shock. The students had turned to give them surprised stares. Both ignored them and made their way - well one was stomping his way - to their seats. Tomoyo shot both of them worried and wondering looks. Syaoran gave a look that said "Nothing's wrong." Tomoyo smiled back a smile that showed relief.

The two sat down in their seats, looking pretty worn. As Syaoran slid into his seat in front of Sakura, he couldn't help but let the blood rush to his cheeks in a smooth but rapid flow. He wanted to kick himself - hard. He had let his [little] attraction to the orphan girl that had barely anything to do with his life get as serious as to him blushing involuntarily when she was just near him.

He mentally slapped himself. He couldn't think like that, no he couldn't. If he did... he would convince himself that he was... he couldn't give in to that. For heaven sakes, the person he would spend his entire future with together had already been chosen, not by his own choice, but nonetheless chosen and tied to him. But. There was another alternative. The promise. He wanted to kick himself yet again. Screw the promise. He couldn't do that... unless he was already deep enough to.

No. A firm no. He couldn't fall. Was it possible for the stone-hard Li Syaoran to fall that hard, let alone, that fast? No, it wasn't. Syaoran was just about to fall towards the hole of denial, a place and time where he didn't have to worry about falling, about breaking another's heart, about disappointing his elders, his mother, his clan and [almost] didn't have to think about that [girl] with the cheerful and kind aura along with those near-haunting eyes. But. One tap had to distract him from falling completely into that place.

Syaoran whirled around to find Sakura smiling sweetly at him. That was enough to break his entire train of thought, to wipe away all existence of thoughts of denial and possible peace of thought from this [girl.] "Li, can I borrow a pencil?" she asked him in her regular, ordinary voice. Of course, she was just about the most innocent creature that ever walked the earth. So innocent that she had [no] idea what the [hell] she was doing to him.

Syaoran gazed at her stupidly for a few seconds, her face right there, inches away, the bright smile spread on it, those eyes staring on expectantly but warmly. Maybe even a slight blush spread across her cheeks. Then reality finally hit him - hard. "O-O-Oh, o-okay." Syaoran stuttered like an idiot, to his ultimate horror, the request she had bestowed on him finally clear.

He quickly whirled back around, just as fast as he had first turned to Sakura, and grabbed a pencil from his desk. He turned back around and handed the pencil out towards Sakura - with a shaky hand. But Sakura didn't notice that, as to she was also a bit jumpy about this as well. "Thank you Li." she thanked him quietly so the teacher wouldn't catch them talking [again.]

Syaoran turned back around. The mad pounding in his chest was much more serious than a matter to ignore. He had to talk to someone about this. If he didn't, he was afraid that he might give in and let himself fall fast into... that emotion and might even get hurt in the process. He needed to talk to Tomoyo. She was his best friend and he had always went to her when he was in a tangle for the many years of close friendship they had between them. But it might not help. He may already be... in love.

~*~

Eriol sighed heavily as he sat in the slowly dying grass. The girl that he had finally understood yesterday hadn't spared a single glance at him today. Not even a glare. She had been colorless today; she was tired, out-of-energy, and blank. But he couldn't get a good look at her eyes so he wasn't really sure on that. People constantly say that eyes are windows to the soul. That was especially true for Hiiragizawa Eriol. One look and he could find out what that person was feeling... well almost.

He found Daidouji Tomoyo noticeably difficult to read. She, too, was an observer and had some secrets within her that barely anyone knew. Eriol was one of them. He found that, to his ultimate horror, that a slight blush rose to his cheeks. He was one of the few people who knew her. That somehow seemed like an important position to be in. He sighed then let his head fall and hang hopelessly. Screw her diary entry. Now she was plaguing his mind even more.

~*~

Daidouji Tomoyo was happy. Happier than she had been in any moment this past week. He was asking for her help! She was especially happy if he needed her help. She always wanted to be there when he needed her. She would go to any lengths to make him happy. Even if his source of happiness wouldn't lie within an unbreakable bond between him and her, she was happy if he was happy. Even if it would hurt just a bit to see him with another person, she could just be happy at the fact that he was happy with another. Although she wouldn't be able to ask for more if he returned her feelings and was happiest with her. That would be a dream come true. Everything she would live for.

She knocked off that train of thought. She didn't need to be selfish about Syaoran. Right now, he needed a best friend, an advisor, a counselor. He didn't need her to make things worse for him. She looked up at him. His amber eyes were focused onto the ground, in deep thought. Tomoyo had fallen in love with those eyes a long time ago. They may look fierce and cold but they were warm, innocent, and kind if you stripped away the cold exterior.

"Tomoyo." he suddenly said. Tomoyo liked it. She liked, no loved, the way that he said her name. She loved the way he looked up to her. She loved the way that he cared for her even if he didn't return her feelings. "Yes." she answered sweetly. Funny how Sakura's sweetness affected Syaoran so much but Tomoyo's didn't have an affect at all. 'Must be fate...' Tomoyo concluded, her heart smashed slowly, though she, as she had for the past years, ignored the pain spreading through her chest.

"... It's about... Kinomoto..." Syaoran began with much difficulty. Yet again, a tiny piece of Tomoyo's heart broke off. Yet she still kept that smile on her face all the while wondering how one heart could break again after it had been repeatedly breaking for years. "... and... Tomoyo..." he struggled with the words, his mouth forming new words and inaudible sounds to find the right phrase. Then he suddenly spat it out.

"I can't stop thinking about her!" he blurted, his face taking on a look of desperation and confusion. A huge fragment of Tomoyo's heart broke out yet again. Syaoran continued, yet again not knowing of the pain Tomoyo was feeling. "Something's just in her... the kindness... I don't know, but something just pulls me toward her..." Syaoran trailed off then looked at Tomoyo. She forced a smile and tried to keep the tears in. "I'm happy for you Syaoran..." she whispered weakly.

He looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean you're happy for me? This is supposed to be a bad thing! I'm already engaged, and... and..." Syaoran trailed off, at a loss for words once again. "You can't fall in love?" Tomoyo asked him, slyly but at the same time sweetly while concealing everything inside of herself. Syaoran blushed a deep red and lowered his head. Tomoyo had to do something. She loved him, but sometimes he just couldn't take things too well, or was too dense.

She stood up and positioned herself in front of Syaoran. "Syaoran." she called him, cupping his chin with two fingers and tipping it up so she could look into those deep amber eyes. The eyes she had fallen in love with a long time ago. But she couldn't think about his eyes now. She had to do her job for now; she had to get Syaoran's train of thought going straight if she wanted to see him happy. If Kinomoto Sakura was his source, she had to push him to it.

"Syaoran." she said again firmly but at the same time gently. Syaoran stared up at her, hopeless and lost, like a little child. He had always been a regular, young child inside his tough exterior and Tomoyo had known that since the beginning. "You are in love." she told him firmly, using all her will to keep the tears from even welling up at the bottom of her eyes.

Syaoran looked down, his face an even more darker shade of crimson. Tomoyo still held the grip though. She liked the touch of his skin against her fingers. It gave her a warm feeling inside and she was happy. Almost. If it wasn't for the situation at hand. If he wanted to, if he had the desire to, if he just loved her back and she could make him happy, he would be hers and she would be his. She would hug him with all the desire she had, the feel of the skin of his cheek rubbing against hers, and kiss his lips, making her cold ones warm again, despite the cruel fact that they may be too [young] for actions like that. And he would be hers. [Hers.] Hers for life. And she would always be his. But it wasn't that way. He loved another. Either she had another one she could love in store for her (she couldn't imagine that) or Fate and Destiny just plain hated her. Either one could have been valid although she knew for sure the latter one had to be it. She could never love another. Never ever... unless her heart changed directions and no one had ever said that one heart could belong to two people. But that couldn't be it... could it?

"Syaoran, I want you to be happy. If you're happy, I'm happy as well. And love is happiness only if you are with your loved one. Fang-Fei still had made a promise with you. You could still break off your engagement. I'm sure Fang-Fei wants you to be happy as well. If you love Sakura, then love her freely. And don't deny that Li Syaoran." Tomoyo told him, all the while looking at him with soft and kind eyes and stroking his cheek over so slightly. Syaoran didn't seem to notice. His eyes were lost in deep thought, searching his soul. Then he finally looked up and did something Tomoyo loved, absolutely loved, to see. He smiled.

"Thanks Tomoyo. You're the best." he said to her and got up in one swift move and threw his arms around her. This surprised Tomoyo tremendously since he barely ever hugged anyone without hesitating a great amount of time. He withdrew and smiled one of the most genuine smiles Tomoyo had ever seen on his face. "Come on Tomoyo, lunch is almost over." he informed her and pulled her towards the school. 'I'm happy for you Syaoran...' Tomoyo thought as the last of her heart smashed.

What the two hadn't seen was another person who's heart shattered as well. Fang-Fei pulled her knees up to her chest from behind the tree. How could he fall in love with Kinomoto Sakura? They hadn't known each other for very long and he already was in love with her? Why not Fang-Fei? Why had she made the stupid promise? Whilst she wondered that, she knew deep inside that she had loved Syaoran and wanted him to be happy. And she'd just have to let him be happy. But nonetheless, this was heartbreaking, She buried her head into her arms and cried for all her heart was worth.

~*~

Tomoyo sighed as she turned around to face Eriol for the first time that day. She got herself prepared. Prepared for another blood-boiling day with Eriol. She was [not] looking forward to this at all with the pain her heart had been experiencing that day. It was just tiring, tiring enough to make her collapse over. Little did she know that another situation would be added to her already high pile of pain. But as she turned around, she was almost shocked.

There was Eriol, sitting there, smiling solemnly at her. No traces of amusement. No mock. No cruelty. There had to be something wrong. But then again, it was a bit too early to be mocking her, so she knew she shouldn't get her hopes up. "Come on Hiiragizawa." Tomoyo said curtly and getting up out of her seat. Eriol followed, saying nothing and quietly. [Too] quietly for Tomoyo's tastes.

"Bye Tomoyo! I'll be going to Li's house!" Sakura's cheerful voice broke through Tomoyo's suspicions. Tomoyo's face relaxed and she turned around to see Sakura, Syaoran, and Meiling off. Wait. Where was Fang-Fei? She wasn't anywhere around here and Tomoyo was sure she would have said good-bye to Syaoran before she left. But after she had come in from lunch, by the way which she had entered five minutes late, her eyes were red and she looked heartbroken.

Then it hit Tomoyo. What if she had heard the conversation she and Syaoran had earlier at lunch? Surely if she did, her heart would have smashed right then and there, just like Tomoyo's had right then and there. What else could have made the tough Fang-Fei cry? "Daidouji. Daidouji." she finally snapped out of her thoughts and turned her head towards Eriol's direction. And then her face burned crimson.

She had just showed weakness in front of her enemy. Well, not exactly weakness but she had shown a flaw. She had shown that she could be lost in thought without hearing herself being called. The worst part was that he probably had assumed that she was thinking about Syaoran. Technically she had, but more on Fang-Fei's case. Anyway, she was in for another afternoon of teasing.

But she was surprised yet again. No dancing amusement in his eyes. No sly smile. No nothing. Just the same solemn smile planted on his face, looking almost sadly towards her. Had something happened? Why was he acting so strange? "Let's get going Daidouji." he suggested and put his backpack on and walked towards the door. Tomoyo did the same, confused more than ever.

~*~

The trio was silent as they walked through the quiet streets, different things on their minds. Sakura decided to break it. "Meiling, remember how you were complaining yesterday that the math lesson was too hard. How did you get through it?" Sakura asked, knowing just how hard the math was. She had been through it. Tomoyo had taken the time to explain things to her. Tomoyo was so kind.

"Touya helped me." Meiling answered, her mind obviously on something else. "Ah, Big Brother." Sakura repeated and continued walking. Then, both Sakura and Syaoran did a double take. "M-Meiling!" Syaoran said urgently, getting Meiling's full attention and making her a bit alarmed. "What is it?" she demanded, scared that something bad was happening at the moment. Sakura decided to intervene.

"Meiling... what did you just call Big Brother?" she asked urgently. "Tou-" Meiling suddenly stopped, burning red. She was downright scared. She had just called Touya by his first name! And that was a very good thing in Meiling's case. She hadn't even intended to call him that. No, she couldn't be, could she? She didn't know. Oh, everything was just confusing right at the moment.

Syaoran had known that Meiling may have developed some sort of crush on Touya, but he could have never guessed that it could have gone [this] serious. She barely ever called any guy other than her friend Eriol and her brother Syaoran (whom she [did] think she was in love with earlier) by their name. This could have been some brother-love sort of thing, but Syaoran didn't think so.

Sakura [had] to know. Was Meiling in love with Touya? But that was impossible! Or was it? Touya would never have opened up to Meiling just like that! And by the things Tomoyo had told Sakura, Meiling had thought that she was in love with Eriol and other than that, she didn't put a drop of interest in any other guys. But to go as far as calling a guy [seven] years older than her by his name whilst at the same time, being the brother of Sakura? Sakura just had to know.

"Meiling." Sakura said and looked over to Meiling. She looked so disturbed that she looked almost ready to cry as if she was in big trouble. "Meiling, is everything okay?" Sakura asked soothingly. Meiling looked so scared. "Everything is not okay!" Syaoran roared, sounding almost angry. "Meiling!" he growled, making her face him just the slightest bit. "A-Are you... are you..." Syaoran couldn't get the words out. It was a pretty impossible thing to happen.

Everything's alright! Don't' worry! It was just a mistake! You know... Mother's always calling him by his name and I guess I picked it up. Don't worry, I'm not... I'm not..." Meiling paused there, not wanting, not being able to, go further. If she had, two things could happen: it could actually happen and... she might be lying to herself. The two clueless ones next to her didn't take the hint.

Syaoran nodded and backed down. "Alright Meiling." he said, trying to take matter at hand and throwing it off their minds. But Sakura wasn't as determined to do that. "Meiling, it's ok. Your heart has a right to choose." Sakura said gently and comfortingly, smiling at Meiling. A light blush spread across Meiling's cheeks. She had the right to choose... at least Sakura was approving...

Meiling stopped her train of thought. Approving of what? She was absolutely going crazy. But nonetheless, she smiled back at Sakura. "Thanks Sakura." she said softly, confusion in the midst of her heart. What was going on? Why was she feeling this way? This feeling that she had for Touya was... a lot more different than what she felt for Eriol. What was this? Was she... in love?

~*~

The two approached the Hiiragizawa Manor. The place she practically blew up at yesterday. The place where... she might have lost her diary! "H-Hiiragizawa..." Tomoyo said to him, scared of what he might think. He looked over to her, wondering why all of sudden she sounded scared and looked pale. "You didn't happen to find a [book] around here, have you...?" Tomoyo asked tentatively, expecting a slow smile to creep its way to Eriol's face. No, yet again. Nothing. But what surprised Tomoyo most was that solemn look he had held the whole way here had gotten even sadder...

"Yes I have, Daidouji. Come in." Eriol told her, leading the way in. An extremely confused Tomoyo followed him into the house, suspicions arousing in her. He mustn't have read it, or a sneer would have replaced that sad look, that, surprisingly for Tomoyo, wasn't a good sight to see. Luckily for them, they had gotten there just in time. The sad, gray clouds that have floated around the sky all day had finally let the first of many teardrops fall.

~*~

"We're home!" Meiling's voice echoed throughout the mansion while she and the other two were pulling off their coats and backpacks. "Alright!" Feimei answered back, apparently present in another room of the mansion. Meiling turned to the pair behind her. "Ok, you two work and have fun!" Meiling told them, winking. Syaoran blushed taking the hint. Sakura blushed as well, but smiled and nodded cheerfully. Meiling then turned and walked to the study room to begin her homework, which, luckily, there wasn't very much.

"So... did you come up with something for the music?" Syaoran asked softly, his eyes glued to the ground, a light red hue spread across his cheeks. Sakura nodded shyly. "I can play the melody for you on a flute if you have one..." she added tentatively, looking up slightly. Syaoran immediately broke his gaze from the floor and looked up to Sakura, who was standing there, patiently waiting for his answer. He slightly raised an eyebrow.

"Y-You learned how to play the flute in an orphanage?" Syaoran queried, stuttering just a tiny bit to his dismay, but curious about how she managed to. "Oh, you see, people donated things to the orphanage. This one person donated a flute to us along with a flute book when I was about seven. No one seemed to be interested in it so I took it and followed the book's instructions. I came to love playing it although I'm not good at all." Sakura explained, a small smile on her face from the memories. Syaoran doubted that last part.

"I-If you've been playing since you were seven, then you must be really good." Syaoran said with much difficulty. Sakura blushed lightly. "Thank you." she said quietly but with a gentle smile. With one look, Syaoran had to look away. Or else he would have fell under her gaze. "Come on. We actually do have a flute. Meiling had attempted to learn a few years back, but she gave up after it got to hard for her." Syaoran explained to her, leading the way to the room which held the forgotten flute.

"Really?" Sakura asked excitedly while Syaoran nodded. At that moment, he was in deep thought, half playing reality whilst the other half he was thinking about what Tomoyo had told him earlier. Could he really have fallen in love with this innocent girl smiling next to him, absorbing the joys of life? He had always thought that it would be impossible to fall in love with anybody. But... she was different from any other person he had met.

~*~

Meiling sighed heavily as she lied down on her bed. She had just given Touya another magic lesson. And she had loved the time they had spent... but... Meiling abruptly shook her head. This wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be in love with somebody seven years older than her! 'But whoever said that one couldn't?' a voice in Meiling's head countered. And she thought about it.

She wasn't engaged to anyone, unlike her unfortunate brother who was head over heels for Kinomoto Sakura. Meiling giggled in spite of herself. But... she had never wanted to experience this feeling. Well at least not this early in life. Plus, who would fall in love with the short-tempered, fierce Meiling? Especially if this someone was 18 and probably old enough to get married into a wonderful life.

Meiling rolled over onto her stomach and let her head make contact with the soft blankets on her bed. She let memories of her and Touya flash by in her head. The time that she had accidentally insulted him and he went home, considerably angry at her. How terrible she had felt. When she had made that lunch for him and had blush in front of him for the first time. And the many times she had blushed after that. Their first magic lesson. When he had suggested her that book. And every memory aroused feelings in Meiling's heart. 'No... this can't be happening...' Meiling thought in horror. But it had. She had no control now. It was too late.

She was in love with Touya Kinomoto.

~*~

"Here." Eriol said while handing Tomoyo a small book. Her precious diary. Could he have read it? That would be one of the most sinful things he [ever] could have done, piling up on his already evil deeds. She took it from him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Don't worry Daidouji, I didn't read it." Eriol said after a moment, noticing her suspicious stare. Tomoyo knew what was coming next. But it never came.

Tomoyo eyed Eriol suspiciously. No cold remarks, not anything. "Come on Daidouji. I think I have something in mind about the music." he said to her, leading her to the music room once again. Tomoyo stayed behind. Her eyes narrowed at Eriol. Something wasn't right... and Tomoyo was determined to find out what was exactly wrong with him.

She then pushed the thoughts into a corner of her mind. First thing's first: they had to work on this duet and they had slightly less then two weeks to compose music then write the lyrics. She sighed as she walked fast-paced. Why was life so unfair to her? Why, oh why did she have to receive Hiiragizawa for a so-called partner? Why did she have to fall in love with her best friend? [Why] did her best friend have to love someone else? Once again, why was life so unfair to her?

She entered the room and found that Eriol was already sitting at the piano, ready to play. She mentally kicked herself. Now he was going to make a smart comment that would follow along the lines of "Took you long enough" or of that sort. None, surprising Tomoyo to no ends for another time in that single day. Maybe he had changed. Maybe the mocking would finally cease. Maybe he would finally understand her. No, she couldn't get her hopes up again. That last time was a big mistake. She wouldn't, couldn't, fall for that false facade again.

"Proceed Hiiragizawa." Tomoyo said in an icy tone that neared one of that of a commandment. Eriol nearly winced. It hurt him to hear Tomoyo talk so coldly to him. But it never had before. He couldn't help but wonder what had changed his mind - his hear - so much. Once again, something came to mind. 'Screw her damn diary.' Eriol fumed, regretting that he had read that entry. But then again, he didn't regret it. If he hadn't read that, he would go on to act unreasonably towards Tomoyo. And he wouldn't have realized what a jerk he had been. He would continue to rub Tomoyo's love for someone into her face, acting immaturely and insensitively all the while.

Eriol didn't even realize that those thoughts had gone by while he had started playing the music he had created. Not on paper but in his mind. It was a slow but sweet melody, maybe even with a melancholy sense to it. Although Eriol had planned only a little of it, he went on and on, creating the chorus as he went, his fingers running across the keys in an almost possessed manner. When he finished, he saw Tomoyo had already recorded it, ready to make up lyrics along with the melody.

That had surprised Tomoyo. How someone like Hiiragizawa Eriol could have created such a song. But then again, he could be mocking her. Challenging her to make words for this song. Sad words to express her feelings for Syaoran. But she didn't care. What else would she write about with such a sad melody? Her surprised face took on an unrevealing, shut expression. Eriol didn't like that.

"Need anything else Hiiragizawa?" she asked politely but with coldness. Eriol could tell that. He shook his head, the same solemn expression as before. Tomoyo's curiosity poked her to find out about why he was acting so strange. But she wanted to leave right away. "Ok then, I'll be leaving now Hiiragizawa." she told him, giving a slight bow good-bye. Eriol returned it, his heart feeling empty and wanting to tell Tomoyo to stay at least a little longer. He was as confused as ever. He felt as if he wanted Tomoyo by his side. But he had never felt that way before... what was happening to him?

Tomoyo walked out of the room and shouts from Nakuru could be heard, offering for her to stay a bit longer. Tomoyo could be heard answering back politely and gently that she really should be going. Eriol listened to these voices and when they ceased, he let his head fall onto the piano keys, making a horrid, unmusical sound that would usually never be heard from Eriol and his faithful piano. "What's happening to me?" he asked himself aloud, silence answering him back loudly.

~*~

Sakura took a breath and blew into the flute, a sweet sound flowing from it. It captivated Syaoran, realizing that he never had thought she could play [this] wonderfully. Sakura's eyes closed, letting her heart pour out into the instrument. Playing the bright melody, filling the room. Syaoran didn't make a sound, his mind half aware that if he did, the wretched sound could be recorded into the recorder next to Sakura and also aware that if he did, he could stop the continually flowing sound of beautiful notes.

One question came into his mind: what kind of lyrics would he write? "How was it?" Sakura's sweet voice broke through Syaoran's thoughts. Syaoran looked up at her and blushed when he found himself just inches away from her face. Her emerald eyes stared back at him, sparkling, a tint of red spread across her cheeks. "It was beautiful." Syaoran said mindlessly, regretting it the moment they spilled out of his mouth. The hue of red on Sakura's face turned a shade darker. A gentle smile came upon her face and she tilted her head. "Thank you." she said wholeheartedly.

Syaoran tried to calm his racing heart before he died of a heart attack. He averted his eyes to the floor in an attempt to keep Sakura from seeing the bright shade of crimson that reached his face. He succeeded. But then again, she never seemed to notice, to Syaoran's ultimate relief. "Okay, I better be leaving now. Can you write lyrics from here?" she asked, gathering her belongings but turning her head to Syaoran with a gentle, questioning look. Syaoran nodded silently, his eyes still glued onto the floor. She smiled. Although Syaoran wasn't looking at it at the direct moment, he could just picture it in his head.

"Okay then." she said and headed out the door. Syaoran looked up. "Sh-Should I see you to the door and walk you home?" he asked nervously, standing up from his chair immediately. Sakura blushed and turned to him. "No, I'm fine. Thank you for offering." she said to him and walked out the door. "Wait!" Syaoran called after her after realizing something. Sakura walked back, looking at Syaoran questioningly. "T-Take this." Syaoran told her, handing her an umbrella that had been sitting in the room conveniently. Sakura looked at it, confused than realized that it had been raining. She smiled at him sweetly. "Thank you." she said once more with scarlet cheeks. She then walked out. After the sound of Sakura's footsteps faded, Syaoran let himself plop down onto the chair he had been previously sitting in. He then sighed. This had confirmed it for sure...

"She plays so beautifully!" Meiling jumped into the room, breaking Syaoran's thoughts. That had actually scared the wits out of him. "M-Meiling!" he shouted, springing to his feet. Meiling looked at him and giggled. "Thinking about sweet [Kinomoto]?" Meiling inquired slyly, smiling one of amusement. Then Syaoran went scarlet. "How would you know?" he asked, switching his gaze to the floor. Meiling laughed.

"I heard her playing earlier and I wanted to clap for her when she was finished, but I know that would have ruined your [moment]." Meiling explained, slightly emphasizing the last word. Syaoran looked at her but stayed silent. Meiling's smile extinguished. "Syaoran." she called softly. "What's the matter?" Syaoran stayed silent as he walked across, looking out of the balcony that was attached to it. "I never thought that I would actually fall in love and have to break another's heart..." he told her softly, staring up at the never-ending black sky, but moon and stars covered by crying clouds. Meiling's eyes widened. When had he finally gave into that fact? Had Tomoyo talked some sense into him? Her smile returned, happy for her brother but than quickly went away as quickly as it had come. She had never liked Fang-Fei but you couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

Would Syaoran take that chance and tell Fang-Fei that he was in love with another?

~*~

"Sakura, why do you look so happy?" Sonomi queried gently, with a smile on her face, as she quietly sipped her tea. Sakura looked up, looking as if she had been in deep thought. "Er, um, nothing" she said nervously, taking a quick swipe of her tea. She had apparently been thinking about Syaoran. He had her thinking of him all the time these days and nothing made her happier than seeing him. Feelings aroused in her heart whenever she was with him and she was confused by these emotions...

Tomoyo's heart instantly broke after realizing the reason why Sakura looked like she was on cloud 9. Syaoran. Tomoyo scolded herself. She had to get used to the idea that Syaoran loved Sakura and Sakura was in love with him as well. She looked into her teacup, the color of the tea reflecting Syaoran's eyes. But no color could be sweeter than the amber that Syaoran's eyes held. The tea came close, but not close enough.

"Tomoyo." her mother called out to her, her voice firm and serious. Tomoyo looked up, wondering what could be the matter. "Sakura, I'm sorry dear, but could you please leave the room for a bit?" Sonomi asked Sakura gently, smiling at her. "Hoe?" Sakura wondered quietly but got up obediently. She exited the door, wondering what could be the matter.

"Tomoyo." Sonomi, turning to her once more. Tomoyo looked up at her carefully. "Your... well... you know..." her mother fiddled with the words, trying to find the right ones. How could she tell her daughter that her father was alive and well and wanting to come back into their lives? She shook her head and decided to get it straight out. "Tomoyo, remember when I told you your father had passed away when you were an infant?" Sonomi asked calmly, eyeing Tomoyo. Tomoyo nodded slowly, not getting a good feeling about this. "Well... you see, he isn't really dead. He came back just yester-" Sonomi needn't to finish. "You [lied] to me?" Tomoyo inquired harshly, getting up out of her chair. "No, Tomoyo dear-" Tomoyo cut her off once more. "No! I don't want to hear it!" she shouted in a manner that she [never] used to her mother.

She stared up at Sonomi. Her mother had lied? Why? Her father had left all those years? Tomoyo felt as if the world was against her. She turned around and ran. "Tomoyo!" her mother shouted after her. She ran past maids and bodyguards that shouted out after her, never stopping to answer or even listen. She heard Sakura calling out after her. She didn't even stop at that. She ran past her door, out into the pouring rain.

~*~

"Eriol! Suppi!" Nakuru shouted a bit [too] loud from the kitchen. Eriol sighed and took his time walking to the kitchen. Spinel followed him. "That idiot better have a good reason to disturb the peace while some of us were having a good reading." she grumbled, her eyes set into an annoyed glare. Eriol smiled but not that happily. The day's events were still stuck fresh in his mind.

The two reached the kitchen to find Nakuru tapping her foot waiting for them. "Eriol! We're out of potatoes and potatoes are [absolutely] essential to the meal I will be cooking tonight!" Nakuru shouted with extra energy as usual. "Why don't you go get them?" Spinel asked, narrowing her eyes at Nakuru. "Because shopping is [Eriol's] job and cooking is [mine]!" she said smiling her usual smile. Spinel rolled her eyes.

"Still in a bad mood Suppi?" Nakuru asked in a sympathetic voice. Spinel glared at her. "Who are you calling Suppi? And I'm [always] in a bad mood because of [you]!" Spinel shouted, emphasizing the last word. "Aww, you hurt my feelings!" Nakuru said dramatically, pretending to look as if she was hurt badly by Spinel's harsh words. Spinel snorted. She wasn't stupid. She knew better than to fall for Nakuru's dramatic moods.

Eriol sighed and grabbed an umbrella. "Okay then Nakuru, I'll get you the potatoes." he said to her. He had nothing better to do and maybe it would give him some privacy time to sort out his thoughts - and his feelings. Nakuru jumped to Eriol and wrapped her arms around him in a big, tight death-grip. "Eriol! You're the best!" she shouted into his ear. Spinel rolled her eyes. After Nakuru released Eriol, he proceeded to head out the door.

"Hey! Why did you call me?" Eriol could hear Spinel suddenly ask. "Cause I wanted you to try the dessert!" Nakuru responded, smiling at him sweetly. "You idiot!" Spinel's shout could be heard. As Eriol walked out the door, he could hear the sound of their arguing slowly fading and the sound of endless raindrops pounding on the umbrella above his head.. He smiled in attempt to lighten his mood but it was a futile attempt. He sighed once more. What could be wrong with him?

~*~

Tomoyo ran in the bitter hard rain. She couldn't believe her father was back. After all this time... She wiped away the tears that had been running down her cheek. Sobs escaped her throat as she continued running no matter how tired she was. Then she collided with somebody. "I'm sorry." she sobbed and looked up into the face of the person she collided with. She gasped and her eyes widened.

She looked up at the face of Hiiragizawa Eriol. "H-Hiiragizawa..." Tomoyo sobbed, looking up at his face. She could see concern imprinted into his eyes. She didn't care if she looked weak, if she looked like an idiot. She got up from the wet ground that she had fallen onto, soaking to the skin and threw her arms around Eriol and immediately starting sobbing endlessly into his shoulder, causing him to drop the umbrella from the force she pressed onto him and from pure surprise.

Eriol, once again to his ultimate horror, he blushed. But a more extreme shade than before. There he stood, Daidouji Tomoyo, his supposed enemy, crying her heart onto his shoulder while both were standing in the rain, passing people giving strange looks their way. And Eriol was out here in the first place to get potatoes for Nakuru. They couldn't just stand out here. They could catch serious colds.

Eriol tapped Tomoyo's shoulder. "Daidouji, first let's get to my house and we can talk about this." Eriol told her in a soft whisper. She nodded in agreement. Eriol stooped to pick up the fallen umbrella and held it over the both of them. Tomoyo sobbed continually, making Eriol look over at her worriedly. Before they knew it, they had reached Eriol's mansion. They walked up to the front door and Eriol reached out to knock on it.

"Coming!" Nakuru's voice could be heard clearly from the inside along with excited footsteps filled with energy. The door opened and Nakuru stuck her face out expecting to see Eriol back with a sack of potatoes. What she got was much more than what she expected. "Eriol! Tomoyo! Come in!" she urged them, her happy expression changing into a surprised one. Nakuru took one look at Tomoyo and took her hand. "Come on Tomoyo-chan. We've got to get you into some dry clothing." Nakuru said to her, urging her to go on.

"No, I'm fine, really... I'll just go back home." Tomoyo insisted, turning for the door. Eriol stopped her by taking a hold of her arm. "Daidouji, you can't. You'll get very sick." he said to her in full concern. Tomoyo looked up into Eriol's eyes. He could then see that her eyes had a sad and very stressed look in them. Whoever did this to a beautiful angel like Daidouji Tomoyo deserved to pay...

Tomoyo nodded, understanding, with tear-streaked eyes. "Come on. I'll get you some dry clothing." Nakuru said softly, trying not to be too loud and obnoxious. Tomoyo followed wordlessly up the stairs with Nakuru. Eriol stared off after them, extremely worried for Tomoyo. What had happened? Why was she like this? He had to find out...

He climbed the stairs to get on dry clothes as well. He had to see Tomoyo after Nakuru had finished dressing her. He had to see what was wrong with her. He mentally slapped himself. He was going soft for Tomoyo once again that day. Now he was even more worried about her, how she was doing and if she was happy or not. Once again, what had come over him?

~*~

Sonomi paced around the room endlessly while Sakura sat down on the sofa, both extremely worried about Tomoyo's whereabouts. Where was she? How was she doing? What had happened to her? Would she come back? 'Of course she has to come back... if she doesn't I wouldn't have the will to live on!' Sonomi thought miserably, the thought of losing her daughter smashing her heart.

"A-Aunt Sonomi..." Sakura's small voice caught Sonomi's attention. She looked over to Sakura who had a gentle look on her face. "I'm sure Tomoyo will come back. After all, she's a very loving person and she still loves you. Why wouldn't she come back? I just think she needs to set her thoughts straight. If I got word that my parents were still alive, I would have to sort out my feelings." Sakura told her reassuringly, a kind smile on her face. Sonomi stared at her in surprise which slowly melted to one of happiness.

She walked over to Sakura and put her arms around Sakura in a warm hug. "You're very like your mother, Sakura. Whenever something was wrong or I was down, she'd cheer me up with encouraging words to say. You are very much like her." Sonomi whispered, tears falling down her face. Tears of sadness that her daughter was missing, tears of pain that her sister-like cousin was gone, and also tears of happiness that Sakura had joined their family.

~*~

Tomoyo sat on the sofa in a simple, dry, warm dress also wrapped in a blanket. Nakuru had been kind enough to provide those and a cup of hot tea. Tomoyo drank slowly not to scald her tongue or throat. She had to find a way to repay Eriol and Nakuru's kindness but she decided that she would think about that and the fact that Eriol was being so kind to her later. Right now all that was plaguing her mind was her mother's lie about her father.

Meanwhile Eriol made his way over to the living room where Tomoyo currently sat. Nakuru came by and gave him questioning eyes. He gave her a glance that said that he'd tell her later. Nakuru nodded in understanding with Spinel floating. She too was a bit worried for Tomoyo. Eriol walked into the living room to see tears sliding down Tomoyo's face. He sat down next to her, an uncomfortable silence settling in.

Then Eriol decided to ask her, to see what was wrong. He turned to her. "Daidouji..." he began softly. "...tell me what's wrong." he said, nearly pleaded. Tomoyo glanced over at him to see if he was being sincere. He was, surprising her yet again. She then turned to him and threw her arms around him for a second time. She knew she was acting rashly, but right now, her mind wasn't in control. Her heart was. Eriol nearly had a heart attack.

"Hiiragizawa... m-my mother... she had lied to me about my father... she had said that he had passed away long ago... but he was alive and came back... and now Syaoran had confirmed that he was in love with Sakura... why, why does life have to be so unfair to me?" Tomoyo sobbed, tears soaking a spot on Eriol's shoulder. Eriol sat there not making a single movement. His heart was aching for this girl. He wished that she didn't have to face such terrible pain. He wished that she could be happy...

After a while, Eriol found Tomoyo with her head against Eriol, sleeping in a peaceful state. If only reality was so peaceful for her. She was probably dreaming about Syaoran... why did that affect Eriol so much? He sighed and picked her up. He would have to return her to her own home. Nakuru, sensing that he was taking her back handed him a bag with the clothes she had originally been wearing. He smiled a small smile of thanks, careful not to make a sound all in fear that Tomoyo would wake up from her serene slumber.

He carefully picked her up onto his back, once again giving her a piggy back ride. He remembered the last time this had happened. Tomoyo had cried about Syaoran and her aching heart and Eriol had healed her that time as well. After this time, his heart reached out for her more... but... no, that couldn't be. Being careful not to wake her up, he walked to the door with quiet steps out into the rain, the umbrella covering them.

~*~

Eriol sighed as he closed the door, closed the umbrella shut and climbed up the stairs into his room. He let himself fall onto his bed, facing the ceiling, his thoughts about Daidouji Tomoyo. He closed his eyes and pictured her beautiful yet somber face. He thought about today and how he hadn't said one mean thing to her. He thought about how his heart had reached out and wanted to see her happy so badly. The it hit him. He wasn't an idiot. He knew when something like the happened. But why her? Why Daidouji Tomoyo, whose heart belonged to another.

Why did he have to fall in love with Daidouji Tomoyo?

~End of chapter

A/N: I believe that's the longest chapter so far... @_@. I just hope I didn't screw it up too much. -_- I hope everyone liked that little E+T moment, hehe. Now you know why this chapter is called Realizations, right? Well, now I have a whole new idea for the next chapter and expect it to be long... but I'll also have to be working on the revisions [and] I'd been meaning to finish the second and final chapter of Aishiteru. Next chapters of Soundless Love and Knowing the Meaning of Love should be expected later. It seems as though I'm having major procrastinating problems, ne? Anyways, preview for next chapter:

["Now I, Iowa Fang-Fei, release you, Li Syaoran, to love whomever your heart desires." Fang-Fei declared with a smile but tears welling in her eyes. Syaoran stood there, dumbfounded. Fang-Fei had just broke off their engagement... now Syaoran would be free to confess his love to Sakura... but would it work out? He looked to Fang-Fei who returned an encouraging smile.]

[Red roses? Who had sent these? Sonomi looked to the tag. It read "To: Dearest Sonomi From: Konoko." Sonomi's face burned crimson. Did he take her for a fool? She took the roses and threw them into the trash, scoffing as she walked off. But a little tug could be felt at her heart...]

[Sakura looked through the boxes. She didn't even know why she was here looking for a teddy bear. She didn't even love anyone... suddenly Syaoran came to her mind. Sakura shook her head furiously. 'He's engaged Sakura...' she told herself, but she knew it was too late. She wasn't always that dense. She was in love with Li Syaoran.]

["What the hell are you doing! Get away from her!" Touya yelled at the top of his lungs, running at him at full speed. How could anyone think of kidnaping an innocent 11-year-old child? But to Touya, Meiling just wasn't a child. No, she held a higher spot in his heart...]

["Tomoyo..." a soothing voice said that sounded like a lullaby to Tomoyo. The figure walked up to her and kneeled in front of her, holding a small but beautiful teddy bear. Tomoyo couldn't help but feel happy about what was happening in front of her. But then again... she frowned. The figure wasn't Syaoran... it was someone else...]

[Eriol's eyes rapidly moved back and forth over the water to find Tomoyo. No sign of her. 'The wave must have been pretty hard...' Eriol thought, still scanning the surface of the water. Then he saw something. Tomoyo's head was floating above the surface just a tiny bit then she started to sink. Terror petrified Eriol's mind. This couldn't be happening... Eriol opened his mouth and said something he wouldn't have dared to say a few days before. "TOMOYO!!!" he shouted loud and clear, tears stinging his eyes. Eriol then jumped into the ocean. He had to find her.]

End of Previews

Aren't I evil? *Sly grin* Eriol [finally] finds some of his guts. A lot of things are happening in the next chapter *wink*. Anyways, please review people! And watch out for revisions for chapters! 'Til next chapter! Ja ne!