Note on this chapter:- okay, at this point I'm writing far faster than the episodes are coming on TV…so we might take a step away from pesky li'l details like continuity, timing etc. at this point. Also, sorry if the chapters are coming tad slower – I've been dipping into CSI and Discworld fic, not to mention my on-going Buffy fic (S/B –dark and angsty – go read!!)
One man in his time plays many parts.
-Shakespeare.
Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.
-Anon
"Looking forward to the regular Friday night 'rendezvous' Clark?"
Clark's head snapped around in shock at Chloe's voice, as she approached him by his locker.
"What?" he said hastily, his eyes wide with panic.
Chloe was amused.
"Woah, no more coffee for you then tonight."
It slowly dawned on the boy who's heart was pounding in complete abject terror, that she was referring to their after-school sessions at the Beanery, and not his secret meetings with Lex that came after them.
"Oh. Right." He tried to cover his immense relief.
"Oh,right." He then repeated with more concern. "About that – I, I'm not gonna make it tonight."
He noticed Pete standing behind him just as he finished the sentence. He could swear he felt the temperature lower a bit…and a disappointed look on both his friends' faces.
Pete sighed.
"Let me guess. Lex Luthor's party, right?"
Clark's looked surprised, but inwardly that little alarm was going that came whenever he knew he had to underplay Lex's importance to him.
"Er, how'd you know about that?"
Chloe gave something of a snort of disbelief.
"Oh c'mon Clark, everyone knows about it – Lana's aunt's doing the flowers, Megan's mom's doing the catering, and the rest of us are placing bets on how many limo's are gonna drive through town tonight."
Pete had an unreadable expression on his face.
"Sounded like it was gonna be glitzy Clark. No offence, but we didn't think you'd get an invite."
Clark bit his tongue.
He wanted to yell at them, tell the world that he was not just an object of amusement to Lex, the kid who bought the groceries and who he occasionally liked to impress with all his money. Lex was his best friend, a friend who he'd been in life and death situations with more than once, someone who took an active interest in all Clark's affairs, from matchmaking with Lana, to offering to help his parents through financial crises. Hell, Clark was starting to know Lex's study better than his own bedroom; he spent so much time there. He wanted to tell them what happened at the Beanery every Friday night when they left, how much enjoyment Lex and he got out of their long conversations into the night.
And most of all, he wanted to tell them how he felt. That so strong was his bond with the billionaire's son, that Clark had questioned his sexuality because of it. He'd gone through the worst personal crisis of his life, and was feeling things now that he'd never felt before.
But he couldn't tell them any of it. They would carry on looking at him like he was some poor misguided kid, flattered by Lex's interest in him, who was sooner or later going to get used, manipulated, and effectively 'dumped' by this older rich kid who would find something better to spend his time on.
And so:
"Yeah, I got an invite", was all he said.
Pete shook his head slightly in disbelief.
"Whatever Clark. " he said, more tired than bitter. "I hope you have fun with all the spoilt kids of Metropolis business tycoons. I've got practice..."
"Hey Pete, c'mon-" Clark called after his friend as he walked away.
"Oh leave it Clark." Chloe muttered beside him. "I'll go talk to him."
As she made to follow him, Clark stopped her a second with a hand on her arm.
"Chloe, we're – you and me – we're okay aren't we?"
She smiled back at him,
"Of course we are, Clark. And hey, don't feel guilty – you're entitled to have other friends y'know. Just.." she paused, " Just, maybe you better make sure to spend some time with Pete on his birthday next week?"
Clark felt the guilt wash over him. He'd completely forgotten…the sad look on Chloe's face told him that she suspected as much.
"Thanks Chloe". He said, grateful for her attempts to mediate, and the reminder.
She gave a small smile, and then hurried off to find Pete.
As she walked away among the hoards of students, she took a deep breath. She didn't think Clark had noticed her relief when he said he'd be at Lex's…After all, her first fear had been that Lana had finally asked him out on a date…
~ ~ ~
Lex had just finished seeing to all the preparations, and was about to go get ready himself, when Hannah informed him that his father was on the phone. The dull bitterness Lex always felt in regards to his father, came upon him, masking something of the strange fear that always accompanied it. Gritting his jaw in annoyance, he left his father waiting for as long as he dared before sauntering into his study, sitting back, and eventually turning on the speakerphone function.
"Dad." He said, without any warmth whatsoever, but with that forced arrogance in his voice that he hoped made him sound less intimidated than he actually was.
"Lex." His father sounded impatient, irritated. Good.
"I don't have much time, so I'll get straight to the point." God, when did he ever take time for idle chit-chat anyway? Lex shrugged aside old feelings of neglect. He wasn't a child anymore.
"Please do." He replied curtly.
" Victor Rosenburg's daughter is attending your little soiree tonight. Make sure you use the opportunity to find out about his intentions regarding the merger of Rose Industries and that Asian pharmaceutical company."
Lex shook his head in incredulity and contempt.
"Oh yes, I had noticed Miss Rosenburg's name had somehow crept onto my guest-list – strange because I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure of meeting her."
"Well you better have the pleasure of doing so tonight Lex. This should be the one thing even you can't screw up, if you pardon the expression. "
Lex cringed in disgust at his father's vulgarity. This was the way his father worked, the way he had raised his son. All was fair in take-overs and mergers. Get the information by any means necessary, even if it did mean seducing gullible young girls. Lex couldn't but feel some humiliation at his father's degrading of every part of his existence. Nothing in Lex's personal life was safe. That is, nothing except -
No, now was not the time to be thinking about Clark. Some senseless paranoia made him hesitate to either think his name when talking to his father, as if the spiteful son of a bitch could somehow see through to his very thoughts.
His pause had unfortunately been a show of weakness on his part, and he chided himself for being distracted, as his father continued in a patronising, mocking tone.
"Come now Lex, we both know that opportunities to get all these spoilt little brats together are scarce. Make sure you gather everything you can from tonight."
Lex tried to appear relaxed and composed, despite the fact that his father couldn't see him.
"Well then, speaking as a 'spoilt little brat', I'd have to say…I can handle my own social events. Now excuse me, my guests will be arriving soon".
With that, he hung up on his father. That was a bit of a risky move, but he wasn't in the mood. Some part of him would like to yell at his father, and tell him to stop being so damned opportunistic. To stop assuming that Lex couldn't get a group of friends together just to enjoy themselves. But Lex couldn't do that, because he knew it was true. There would be a couple of old acquaintances, and old flames-clones along the Victoria line- at the party. But everyone would be related to his business somehow or other. Kids he went to school with, who were taking part in their parents' empires just like he was; some who already had their own companies; those who knew what was going on in the business world, all the secret scandals, mergers and take-overs. They were his cocktail-party peers.
And there wouldn't be a single person there he could say with 100% confidence that he trusted.
Except Clark.
He couldn't deny that he let his guard down around that boy; that he found himself showing his emotions to him, his vulnerability, more than to anyone else. Clark made him feel safe, made him feel for a second less cold-hearted than he knew he was generally becoming. It scared him, in fact, how easily he could slip and become someone he regretted later. One day he was disobeying his father's orders to try and save jobs, and the next he was forcing Amy's family out of their home at a moment's notice, punishing them for their daughter's problems; another time he'd have a whole team of scientists analysing the wreck of his car or be playing with Whitney Fordham's fate, before ignoring all of the meteor rock research just to save the lives of people he'd indirectly endangered with the Nicodemus incident. He felt like there were two sides of him, battling for control – he could almost see the angel and demon hovering behind him; one had the face of his father, and the other… the other had always remained faceless after his mother's death, with no-one in this world to hold him back from temptation other than himself, his conscience. But now, he was beginning to think the angel was growing strong again. And it came in the form of a 16yr-old schoolboy, with eyes like a winter's sky…
Sometimes, at any random point of the day, he'd just stop working at his computer, put down the phone, and just sit alone in his study, wondering who the hell he was. More often than not, that was when he went for a drive to the Kent farm, or into town, looking for Clark. He'd tell himself that he only did so half-heartedly, that it was more an excuse to get out of the house than anything else…But there was always such a sweet feeling of relief if he did spot Clark, and just talked to him about nothing for only a few minutes.
He'd realised how serious it was getting, when he'd actually started to keep his entire Friday evening's schedule clear, and started having those regular Friday night meetings with Clark. He felt almost like he was going to therapy – those cherished few hours when he actually turned his cell off, and he never told anyone where he went. He vaguely suspected his staff thought he was going to meet a girl, or –more likely- that he was meeting with some shady business acquaintance. Once or twice he'd smiled at the thought that they suspected he was going to meet his dealer, of all things. Now that was something that could add a bit of mystery, a bit of scandal to the gossip tonight.
Ah. The Party. That itself raised an interesting point. As he was dressing for that evening, Lex couldn't help but think of how he would appear to Clark. He wanted to look good to impress everyone – who didn't? – but at the same time he found himself turning away from the usual sleek, cool style reserved for such guests, towards something softer, approachable. It was then perhaps, that he realised, with a great degree of shock, that he wasn't intending on picking up a girl tonight. His father had assumed he'd use the opportunity to entice some girl in with his money and fashion, just like he always did at some functions. They couldn't resist the sight of the striking, pale features of Lex Luthor, looking at them with a twinkle in his eyes, and a wry smile over the top of a martini, dressed all in a sharp-cut, dark suit, and silk shirt. He knew he had the looks, the charm, the reputation – he was the 'bad boy' of his set. No woman could resist.
So it was something of a surprise to him to realise the only thing he'd planned on sneaking away from the party to do, was play pool with Clark. And that in itself felt like some secret clandestine meeting, some private moment of pleasure he could enjoy amongst all the bitchiness, back-stabbing and gossip he knew was inherent with these events.
He finally opted for a white V-neck sweater that fitted him closely enough to hint at the body he actually kept in pretty good shape beneath, and softly-cut pants, instead of the usual three-figure fitted Italian suit. Looking at himself in the mirror he couldn't believe how much more relaxed than predatory he looked, casual instead of cutting-edge style, human, not merely another big-shot spoilt rich kid looking for a one-night-stand.
That was the problem. As much as he wanted to wear this for Clark, as comfortable as he felt, he knew he needed to keep up that bad-boy image to those guests. Whatever this thing was with Clark, it was clouding his judgement.
Sighing, he exchanged the sweater for a deep blue silk shirt.
C'mon Lex. He said. You know this. You know how it works. Appearances are everything to these people.
Funny, how tonight he didn't include himself as 'these people'. The problem was, that meant he didn't know just what sort of 'people' he was…
..this town had done that to him. Clark had done that to him. God, he loved him for that.
Lex's eyes went wide as he stared in horror at himself in the mirror. No, that thought had not happened. What was he thinking? He'd been mentally rambling that was all; stupid, meaningless wonderings. He was just stressed, excited for the party.
And even if it was true, if he did, well, feel affectionate towards Clark, it had to be just as a friend. It had to be.
He couldn't allow it to be anything else.
Otherwise he might just give into his emotions, and do something very, very, stupid.
TBC
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