Spoilers: vague refs to Zero, Nicodemus, Jitters, shimmer.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
-Confucious.

The feelings of shame, humiliation and loathing for a world that had taught him to hope, had kept Clark awake all those hours. If you are unable to find a peace within yourself, then sleep can never be yours, and so he had ran all night until he could run no more, before coming to this place and watching the grey light of dawn appear.

 But then Lex had found him. He had offered him hope, Clark had bared his soul, let his secret out and had found that exquisite understanding that comes from the love of another person. It was only now that the heavy weight of fatigue came over him, and that helpless frustration of tiredness appeared in his darkened eyes, and hot tears.

 Lex's supporting arms helped to drag him up from the ground, and holding him close, they began to take the first steps away towards whatever lay ahead.

 "C'mon Clark, I'll get you home..."Lex said quietly.

 Clark turned his pale face to Lex's.

 "Do you mean yours or mine?" he asked.

 Lex gave a small sad smile.

 " I did promise your mom I'd get you home."

Clark didn't reply, but his eyes spoke of his panic. It would be a lie to say he hadn't thought of his parents when he'd been out all night. But at that point, after Lex's cold rejection of him, nothing had seemed to matter anymore. He just hadn't been able to bring himself to care. Now though, he felt a heavy pang of guilt for any worry his parents must have gone through.

 Fortunately, Lex quickly related the phone conversation to Clark, assuring him that his mom hadn't been quite at the point of calling the police or anything. He saw a flash of something in Clark's eyes at that, a sort of  "Of course, I should have realised.." He wondered at that, just as he had wondered at Martha's assumption that her 16-year old son would have made it home from the mansion safe last night. Of course this was Clark they were talking about…he had that mysterious maturity to him sometimes, that look about him as if he had lived a lifetime of cares already, and had carried the weight of the world on his shoulders on a daily basis… But still, they were the most caring parents he'd ever seen. He'd thought they'd be a tad more protective of their only son…

 "I don't know how we're going to explain your clothes though." Lex suddenly wondered out loud, and not without feeling that terrible remorse for what he'd put him through.

 But Clark just looked around blankly before giving a strangely secretive smile.

 "I'll just tell them I ran home."

Lex stared at him in disbelief, but whatever questions he'd had were melted away by the tired look of amusement on Clark's face. Whether Clark was just joking or not, it was clear that for some reason, he didn't think it would be a problem…like his parents were used to him charging about the countryside or something. Either way, the look on his face told Lex this wasn't the time to be interrogating him, or to start on that long road of making up cover stories that he knew lay before them.

  As they reached the car though, Lex's thoughts turned to the more immediate reality before him. This was all very strange; it was strange in its familiarity; just him and Clark about to go for a drive, he'd take his friend home, watch him go in to see his parents, then he'd sigh, turn his car around, and head back to the grown-up world, of his phone, e-mail and finance reports.

 But everything was new now. Not completely different, just with a strange new edge to it. Instead of walking by Clark side by side, he had his arm around him, the physical contact now nothing but comfort rather than some taboo, something to be wary of and avoid at all costs. Instead of talking confidently, with that suave air he couldn't normally resist even around Clark, he let his concern shine through, his voice as gentle and expressive as he had allowed it to become only on the rarest of occasions.

 And instead of a happy grinning teenager beside him, there was an exhausted young man, dark circles under his eyes, clothes torn and dirty, but his eyes more earnest and truthful than Lex had ever seen them before.

 Look what you've done to him, a voice inside him whispered.

Lex opened the passenger door, and watched as Clark paused before getting in. He turned those blue-grey eyes towards him over the top of the car door, and held Lex's gaze for a silent moment, giving a smile of purest contentment. Then, as Clark turned and collapsed into his seat with a grateful sigh, Lex closed the door behind him.

 Walking around to the driver's side, he watched as the colours of the world brightened around him. Pausing with his hand on the hood of the car, he turned to face the sun breaking through the clouds. Sometimes nature has an incredible power over us, offering us a new perspective, and a sudden awareness of just how trivial our lives are in the grand scheme of things.

 Lex closed his eyes, and felt the pure warmth of forgotten sunlight on his face.

 Inwardly, he turned to that cynical doubting voice in his mind, the one to which he had given the face of his father.

  You don't control me. Lex said. I'm not going to listen to you any more.

 Sighing, he opened his eyes, blinking away the glowing spots in front of his eyes, and slowly continued walking round to the driver's side.

   Easing himself down into his seat, he found Clark staring back at him.

 "What were you looking at?" he asked quietly.

 There was a beat before Lex averted his eyes with a smile, and started up the engine.

 "Nothing. Just looks like summer's here."

As he took the car out of 'park' and slowly started to drive away, Lex missed the sudden rigid look on Clark's face. He missed how Clark swallowed hard, and tried to force feelings of foreboding away.

~ ~ ~

  The drive was slow, and silent. It was more the silence of two people engaged in the same thoughts though, than the awkward tension of an unfamiliar situation.

 Sometimes there are just too many worries and fears, like enemies at the gates whose cries mean you could never for a minute forget they're there. But what you can do is curl up in bed, or turn on the TV, or just watch the road rush by as you drive along… whatever you choose, its your way of saying to those cries, "Not right now." You can deal with everything else later; you don't know how, you don't know when, you don't even want to think about how you'll ever dredge up enough courage to face up to it all. You just sure as hell don't fell like thinking about it now.

  Lex and Clark, tired and emotionally drained, sat in this frame of mind for a long time. It wasn't even eight o'clock in the morning and they already felt like they'd had their struggles for the day. Perhaps even the struggle of a lifetime. They'd come to an understanding…it might not have been clearly explained in words, they might not have had a logical discussion about what this relationship was going to be, and how they were going to deal with it all…but they'd said all they needed to for one day.

 They'd told each other everything with a touch, with a kiss, and a look, that had needed such immense courage and faith to express them.  To have risked it all, to have given in to a fragile shining hope, was enough to prove their feelings, and to have bonded them together as only two people who've gone through the same struggles can.

 They both knew what had happened, and they both felt that terrified joy that came with having achieved your heart's desire, only to find that this was only the beginning.

 Lex had always wondered at that. The stories of heroic ancient deeds, the fairy tales, the comic books; they had always ended with the hero saving the day, winning the prize, ore finding his love. But did they ever say what happened after the 'happily ever after'- did they ever show you the next few hours, days or months of uncertainty? Lex found himself disappointed now at their deception; they had taught him that once you reached your goal that was it. He'd never had any lessons on what to do after it all - how to keep hold of the happiness, when the world was against you; when your own judgement told you how easily this could all go so wrong.

  As he drove Lex felt an aching twisted feeling inside him. It was a desperate kind of gratitude that Clark was there to help him through this; that he wasn't going to turn to him for all the answers. He'd seen that look of mature understanding in Clark's eyes, and Clark had never been able to hide his concern and sympathy for him in the past when he'd shown his weaknesses. Sometimes he thought that Clark, more than anyone on this earth, knew just how much effort went into this act of control sometimes.

 There was fear as well of course with that thought. It was a fear of putting your life, your heart, in someone else's hands. But as Lex glanced over at the pensive-looking boy beside him, he couldn't help but recall how often Clark had been there to stop him falling; literally, and figuratively. Level three, Club Zero, when Pete had come to attack him, and when he'd been bound up by Amy's brother…and that first fateful crash. Clark was always there, not only saving him, but actually bothering to stick around, to see him afterwards and check to see how he was. He'd always showed he cared.

 This boy beside him, his best friend…he was his saviour. Lex had never really felt indebted to anyone like he felt towards Clark. That was a strange feeling, and it should have unnerved him more. But he couldn't bring himself to feel threatened by him. For Lex Luthor, that was the surest sign of love.

TBC

Please R/R