CHAPTER FOUR: CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR
Sleep seemed to elude Jacen, and even though he had just gone to bed a few hours earlier, he thought it was time to get up. Anything was better then lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about last night. Tenal Ka sure had given him a birthday he wouldn't soon forget.
He had spent last night walking through the lower levels, taking many of the paths that he, Jaina and Zekk had often used, in an effort to try and clear his head. It didn't work. Neither did stopping by one of the more seedy cantinas and throwing back a few drinks.
He walked down the hall to the 'fresher, and from the living area two unmistakable voices could be heard. Ignoring them, he walked into the fresher, showered, changed and headed for the kitchen as if nothing was wrong. He felt them pause briefly when they were alerted to his presence before continuing with their conversation. He was reminded of a similar situation back on Hapes a couple of years back. But he wasn't going to run out this time. This time, he wasn't the one who had done anything wrong.
Without needing to hear the door close, he knew Tenal Ka was gone – and that meant he knew where his sister would go next. He wished that for once – just once – she would mind her own business, but he knew Tatooine would experience an ice age before that happened.
"Hey," she said, appearing at the doorway.
He didn't bother replying, instead choosing to occupy himself with pouring a glass of juice.
"I heard what happened," she said softly.
"And it's such interstellar news I'm sure it'll reach Hapes before the day's over. I'm sure it'll make T'a C'hume's day,"
"She feels terrible, Jacen,"
"I bet she does,"
"Do you think this was an easy decision for her to make? She had to do it because she knew you never would,"
Jacen slammed his glass down on the table, causing juice to slosh over the side of it. "She's the one who said we needed space, and here she is, showing up at my home the very next morning,"
"Your home? In case you haven't noticed, four other people live here too," she reminded him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Sounds to me like you acted like a big jerk last night,"
"Did she say that?"
"No. That was my own personal opinion I came up with," she said to him. When he made no further comment, she said, "Jacen, she's one of my best friends. You can't expect her to stop coming by because you two are on a break,"
"And we all know the next step after break is breakup,"
Jaina had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. "That's not true,"
He said nothing, leaning on the edge of the counter, sipping his juice as if she wasn't there. She was trying her best not to get angry at him; sure that his current act was a way for him to hide the pain he was feeling, but his nerf herder attitude was making it extremely difficult for her to not take Tenal Ka's side on this one. As much as she wanted to stay, in case he decided to open up to her – which did not seem to likely in his current state – she needed to get to the landing bay. She was leaving for Borleais in the next twenty minutes, and she could not let personal problems get in the way of the job she had to do.
"I have to go," she told him. "Uncle Luke called this morning. He wants me to go with Lex, Ganner and Zekk to Borleais," she explained to him. She wasn't going to say anything more, but she couldn't resist putting in her two cents. "Maybe if you get over yourself, you'll realize that this mess isn't all Tenal Ka's fault. It takes two people to make a relationship work, Jace,"
She grabbed her belongings and hurried out of the apartment, hoping her words would sink in with him and he would start acting like the brother she knew and loved.
"Everything looks good," Zekk announced as he performed the last of the preflight checks.
Jaina settled into the copilot's chair beside him, after rather reluctantly having handed over the controls to Zekk for the sole purpose that her Uncle had put him in charge for this mission.
They were using a nondescript cargo ship that would not be tracked back to them or the Jedi. Jaina would have preferred this opportunity to try out her ship, but she was well aware of how important it was that no one knew who they really were.
"Where do you know Lex from?" She tried to ask casually, while she checked the navigational instruments as they lifted off the landing pad.
"Who says I know her?"
"I do. I can sense it. You and her – "
" – is none of your business," Zekk finished for her. "Something that I hear from you quite often,"
Jaina shrugged indifferently. "It's not like I care. All I'm interested in is can we trust her?"
"Yes," he answered without looking at her.
] "Are you sure?"
Silence.
She was growing frustrated with his evasiveness. "If there's anything I should know…"
"I'll be sure to tell you,"
"I'm going to check on our passengers,"
"You do that," he said, punching in the coordinates for hyperspace and waiting for the clock to tick down to zero.
When he was sure she was gone, he relaxed back in his seat. He didn't really expect Jaina to mind her own business – he hardly ever did when she told him to. But as long as Lex kept her word, everything would be fine.
He still didn't understand why Luke Skywalker had insisted he come along to investigate the activities going on on Borleais. Three Jedi – two of whom were fully trained, should have been enough, leaving him free to travel to Dantooine and begin talks with the Chiss. He had voiced this to the Jedi Master, and he had simply told Zekk that the Chiss could wait a few days or even a week. When Zekk had looked ready to protest some more, Luke had admitted that this was the path that Zekk had to follow first. Whatever that meant. But he would follow what Luke had said, regardless of the fact that he thought it was pointless to be brought onboard for this mission.
Tempers were running high between him and Jaina, and in his mind that was an added distraction he did not need right now. It was next to impossible for them to carry on a conversation without one or both of them getting all riled up. He would be glad when this assignment was over and he could gain some distance from her. He was tired of everything. Tired of feeling guilty and tired of her punishing him every chance she got for things he had a hard enough time forgiving himself for.
He could look forward to being Jaina Solo free in a week at most – hopefully less.
Only the gentle humming of the engines could be heard inside the walls of the Falcon. It had taken Anakin a whole day of begging just to get his father to consider the idea of lending him his beloved ship for their assignment. In the end, his father had only agreed to it because Anakin had laid it on thick about taking a New Republic shuttle with minimal weapons with as much maneuverability as a Hutt. Of course, if any harm came to the craft it would be on Anakin's head, and handing himself over to the Yuuzhan Vong would be a fate preferable to facing his father.
Slowly, he descended down the ladder of the starboard gun well, wanting to give Tahiri a chance to adjust to his presence.
She heard his unspoken question in her mind, and said, "No, stay. I like having you close by,"
"You're thinking about him," Anakin said after several long moments.
Leave it to Anakin to point out the obvious. "Yeah," she said, nodding thoughtfully, continuing to stare out at the streaks of stars. "I just don't understand how it could even be possible, but now that I've had some time to get used to the idea that my father might still be alive, a part of me can't help but feel relieved and even a bit happy,"
She spun the chair around to face him. He had a look on his face she had seen many times when he was debating whether or not to say what was on his mind.
"What is it Anakin?"
He hesitated before speaking. "I think it's great your dad might still be alive. I'm happy for you, I really am. No one deserves this more than you. I just – " He stopped himself in mid sentence.
"Just what?"
"If this Erik Veila does turn out to be your dad, why hasn't he tried to contact you over the years? Why would he let you think he was dead?"
Of all people, Anakin was the last person she would expect to try and ruin her happiness. A part of her felt betrayed at his words. "How do we know he hasn't? Or maybe he couldn't? Did you ever think of that?"
"I hope you're right,"
She was growing angrier by the second. It felt weird to find herself defending some complete stranger, but like she had said, a part of her was already beginning to accept that Erik Veila might be her father. Anakin had no right to say those things when he had as little information to go on as she had. With that last thought in mind, she pushed passed him and disappeared up the ladder. Not surprisingly, Anakin climbed up right after her.
"Tahiri, I just don't want you to get your hopes up, that's all," he was saying as he joined her back out in the main corridor. "The image you have of this guy may be all wrong. I mean you have already have a family, who loves you and cares about you,"
"That's easy for you to say," she shot at him. "You've always had both you're real parents. Sure, maybe you didn't see them a whole lot when you were growing up, but you still had them. Even when you and your dad were having problems, he would have been there for you if you needed him,"
The resentment in her voice was unmistakable. "Are you mad at me because my parents are alive?"
"No. I'm mad at you because you take them for granted," she said before storming off.
Anakin watched her go. Passed experiences had taught him it was better to let her cool off before he made an attempt at talking to her. But he had no intentions of apologizing for speaking the truth, even if Tahiri didn't want to believe it. If he had known how defensive she was going to get, he might not have said anything at all. But he knew Tahiri, and he knew how her mind worked. Now that the idea of Erik Veila as her father had sunk in, she was beginning to think of the possibilities. He hadn't said it to hurt her, but she needed to know that there was another side to the story. That Erik Veila may not have the good reasons that she thought he had for staying away from her all those years.
"Way to go, little brother,"
Anakin turned and faced his brother. "Shut up, Jacen,"
"You could have tried being just a bit more sensitive,"
"You should try minding your own business," Anakin snapped.
"If you two kept your voices down, I wouldn't have to,"
"You're the last person who should be giving out advice considering your botched relationship with Tenal Ka,"
Without even realizing it, Jacen had his hands on Anakin's shoulders and shoved him backwards. But his younger brother was stronger then Jacen had realized, and he didn't stumble back too much.
"At least I'm not the one having a midnight rendezvous with my girlfriend,"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Anakin demanded, too angry to be embarrassed.
"Is everything all right?" Asked a new voice.
Tenal Ka stood ten feet away from them, one hand resting on the hilt of her lightsaber, in case she had a reason to draw it. Or maybe she was hoping she looked threatening enough that the two brothers would back down without her having to force them apart.
"Fine," they both snarled and backed off somewhat from each other.
Anakin purposely bumped hard into Jacen's shoulder before walking back towards the direction of the cockpit. Without looking at Tenal Ka, Jacen took off in the opposite direction.
He had just passed her when she said, "is this how it is going to be with us?"
"I thought this was what you wanted," he said, keeping his back to her.
"I never wanted you to be angry with me,"
"Well, we don't always get what we want, now do we?" He sighed wearily and turned so his gaze met hers. "Look, I'm doing this mission with you because it's my job. I won't let our problems interfere with what has to be done. But that doesn't mean we have to pretend being around each other isn't awkward or uncomfortable because it is. You want space and that's what I plan on giving you,"
Then he walked away.