"Although the names change
Inside we're all the same
Why can't we tear down these walls-
To show the scars we're covering?"
- Creed, 'Inside Us All'.
Clark's heart was racing as he burst through the front door and look around the hall of the mansion wildly.
"Lex?" he called loudly, as he headed towards the open door of the study.
"He's not here", came a quiet voice behind him.
He turned to see Hannah coming from the dining room.
"Mr Luthor is out on business, though he said you might drop by."
As she spoke politely, with a raised eyebrow at the front door standing open and his own panicked appearance, Clark suddenly felt the sinking feeling of impending embarrassment.
"Oh I… just. I mean, I thought I saw his father just leaving here in a hurry, and I thought, maybe…"
Her eyes shifted uneasily as his words drifted off. Clark figured she was uncomfortable discussing her employer's family problems.
He cleared his throat nervously.
"So…did Lex leave with him?"
Hannah was walking over to gently close the door as she answered over her shoulder;
" No, I'm afraid he'd already left when his father arrived. I believe the elder Mr Luthor didn't want to wait for his return."
She turned back to him, with a small smile.
"However, you are more than welcome to make yourself comfortable in the study. He should be back soon"
Clark gritted his teeth in embarrassment at making such a fuss, and giving a nod of gratitude backed away into the study, as she turned and disappeared off into the depths of the house.
Clark wandered half-heartedly around the room where Lex spent so many hours of his day. The desk where he commanded his own little part of Lionel Luthor's empire. The artefacts and weighty volumes in cases and on shelves on every wall. From various sessions of small-talk over the year, not to mention a few more telling statements, Lex had let him know that half of these things meant very little to him – they'd merely come with the house, and had very little to do with him. But some…some had echoes of his childhood, before his mother's death. Some came with good memories.
Trailing a finger along a glass case Clark smiled in contentment. He'd been let into Lex's life. This room was but a small symbol of that, but he couldn't wait for more in the future; he couldn't wait to drive with him into Metropolis, go to a restaurant or see a movie, to order from one of his beloved take-outs, or to visit all the places he spent time growing up.
He wandered slowly over to the desk, his smile saddening slightly as he thought of all the time Lex spent alone in here. Not to mention how pressured and significant all his work was. Hell, a good proportion of the kids Clark knew had parents who worked for the Plant – their jobs depended on Lex passing this 'test' his father had set him, of turning the fortunes of this little part of LuthorCorp around. He tried to imagine having such responsibility over people's lives himself in five years. Strangely he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could manage it…if had had someone he loved by his side.
As he wandered slowly round the desk his smile faded completely. He stood uncertainly, feeling in the pit of his stomach something all too familiar, and yet totally out of place here. Swallowing hard he backed away slowly towards the back wall only to wince an awful buzzing pain seeped into his mind and gut. One hand to his temples and the other to his stomach he looked around wildly, confused and nauseous. Quickly he back up to the middle of the room and thankfully the sickness subsided. His breathing however remained heavy as, using his X-ray vision he looked back at that corner of the room.
Sure enough, there it was. A meteor. Lex had put a meteor rock in his office.
- - -
Lex was already placing his car-keys down on his desk before he noticed Clark out the corner of his eye. His tired face relaxed into a smile, as he turned to see him on the other side of the room.
"I gotta tell you Clark, I could really get used to having you here when I come home each day."
That only seemed to get a quick smile of gratitude from the figure hovering uncertainly in the room filled with warm summer light.
"Hey-" Lex called, making his way across to him, and placing a concerned hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"
Clark seemed to be about to say something else, but then dismissed it, settling instead for a very nice 'welcome home' kiss indeed. After, Lex raised his eyebrows questioningly at him.
"I was just worried that's all" Clark offered as a reply, looking at him with concern from under dark locks, "I passed your father's car on the way here, heading back to Metropolis."
He related his earlier conversation with Hannah, as they sat down close on the couch.
Lex seemed to wander off in thought.
"What's going on Lex?"
The automatic response of old would of course been something dismissive and yet reassuring at the same time, but they were way past that now. He would willingly have told the whole story were it not for his reluctance to mention Ella Rosenberg. Instead he told as much of the truth as he could, not bothering to hide the slight frown of worry on his face.
"I refused to do some of his dirty work for him recently. I was expecting a bit of payback in one form or another, but this –coming out here himself -and only to turn right around again…I don't know, something's not quite right."
He shrugged it away.
"But then what is in my family? Its probably nothing."
There was a slight tension in the air though, as they both felt the oppressing weight of Lionel Luthor's presence, hovering in the background – a threat constantly lurking.
"Lex…if it turns out to be 'something' though, you'll let me know, right?"
That got a wry grin.
"Sure…wouldn't want to spare you from all the drama of the Luthor Empire." Absent-mindedly he took Clark's hand in his own and entwined their fingers, as he spoke with a brighter tone; "But tell me…how goes things in the world of Clark?"
Both relaxing, Clark talked lightly of his day, including his father's slight rant this morning about spending so little time with his family or helping out on the farm.
"And then, well, there's Pete's party's tomorrow. I have to be at the Talon later tonight to just check some things last minute with Lana and Chloe."
"Ah…how are things going with the intrepid reporter?"
Clark sighed, rolling his eyes in a wonderfully juvenile way.
"Well, she doesn't seem to have told anyone about her little 'theory' about my supposed night of passion with that girl, Ella."
Lex should be commended for not so much as blinking at that reference.
"And you still haven't corrected her?"
"Hey, I felt awful at first, but she seems to have gotten over it. And as cold and calculating as this might sound-"
"-Clark the one thing you could never be is cold or calculating."
"-but I might need an excuse like a girl who no-one knows, if ever I'm caught out with all this running around and lying about where I am or where I'm going..."
Lex asked quietly,
"Is that getting to be a problem? Lying and making up stories, I mean?"
The boy beside him shrugged.
"Hey, its okay, I'm pretty much used to it."
A beat before it came – that quick, uncertain sideways glance, as though he'd said too much.
Lex sat back, and when he spoke again it was in that same quiet tone.
"You aren't just talking about this past week are you?
He watched as Clark flashed an uncertain smile and was about to say something to change the topic and wave it all away. But before he could speak, Lex waved a hand to stop him. This was it. End of the line.
"Clark – please. I know there's something you're hiding, and sometimes...I think I might know what it is…but I need you to tell me. Other than the fact that this secret seems to hang above your head like a dark cloud most of the time, I admit I'm –selfish I guess; I need to be able to trust you. And to do that… I need you to trust me."
Clark saw the sincerity in his eyes, and suddenly realised that Lex really did know that something was wrong. It was the lingering, suspicious look he'd got whenever he'd slipped up, or nearly been caught, as he'd shown just a moment ago. It was as if he could read the guilt or fear in his eyes…
And the meteor…he had a meteor rock in this room. Did he know its effect on him, it link? What had made him bring something like that here all of a sudden?
Clark ran a hand nervously through his hair, and met his eyes with such gravity as he'd managed to keep at bay this week, so happy had he been with Lex.
" God this is….this is really difficult."
"I know, but if you just get it over wi-"
"Lex stop!" He was yelling over the top of Lex's pleas now, standing and moving away, averting his face. This had got to a point where it couldn't be ignored. "You don't…You don't know what you're asking of me! Not really…" He sighed in frustration, and as sensed Lex standing too and approaching him, he backed away further, holding up his hand for him to stop as Lex had done himself a short while ago.
"Please just…give me a second."
Hearing Lex's heavy sigh as he sat back down, he closed his eyes. This was it. His opportunity to confess all, or part of it, or something. To do just what Lex wanted – to trust him, so that he in turn could be trusted. To be honest…to truly have no boundaries between them.
He thought about the meteor. Thought about Lex's words; 'I think I might know what it is'. No, there was no way he could know the whole truth, or he certainly wouldn't have waited this long to ask him about it. But …had his suspicions about the car accident returned? And had he linked them to the meteor rocks?
All this was so hard to think about as Lex just sat watching him standing there, head bowed, and his body tense.
Clark turned to him suddenly and looked him in the eye with a terrible, searching stare, as if trying to read his very intentions.
But Lex didn't look away. He just sat there, with a completely vulnerable, scared expression, that was suffused with love and support.
Time seemed to slow down for Clark as he suddenly saw who was before him. This was him – the Lex that he'd always known was under that controlled, sometimes distant, sometimes suave, sometimes slightly amoral, always closed off, exterior. This was the Lex that he had got fleeting glimpses of more and more frequently as their friendship progressed: the Lex who dared to confide to him his memories of his mother, and the death of his baby brother Julian; the Lex whom he'd rescued from 'Zero', and whose terrified and shocked face he'd looked down into as he'd hung from a broken platform in the hidden depths of the Plant. This was the completely true Lex who he'd brought back to life by the riverside, who'd looked up at him with something like the expression he had now; a mixture of fear and an overpowering sudden instinct for trust and love.
Could this Lex ever betray him, for money or power? Could this Lex ever treat him like a science project, and put him away in a lab?
Swallowing deep, Clark spoke hesitantly.
"I need to ask you something. But you have to promise to be completely honest with me. Otherwise this conversation ends now."
Lex paused for a second – a pause that confirmed what Clark already suspected; this was a person with many skeletons in his closet. Vowing complete honesty wasn't something to do lightly.
But a second was all he needed. When he spoke it was with all sincerity, and with a firm unblinking gaze.
"I promise."
Clark's voice became stronger, his face unreadable.
"Why are you really studying the meteors?"
TBC
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