"Nothing seemed true; I felt surrounded by cardboard scenery

which could quickly be removed…."

- Sartre

~ ~ ~

"You want to talk about it?"

 It took a while to register that the question was directed at him. It took even longer to realise the voice was Lana's.

She'd just come up to the coffee bar of the Talon, a tray full of empty cups in her arms.

 "Lana, hey…I didn't see you there." God, even I think I sound stressed, Clark thought.

 Sure enough, the look of concern on her face deepened.

"Well, I'm not surprised, you looked a world away there, Clark."

She leaned on the bar, taking in his somewhat haggard appearance, and how he was slumped inconspicuously over his drink, eyes cast down. For a second she fought back the impulse to put an arm around him and ask him what the hell had happened to him lately. She visibly stepped back a second. Clark was a friend…but she had to stop thinking like they was more there. She had Whitney. And then there was Chloe…She frowned, glancing at the clock.

"I thought you and Chloe weren't coming by till later?"

He seemed to tense up somewhat, and barely met her eye as he replied;

 "Oh, yeah, I know….I'm sorry, something's come up.  I won't be able to make it back here later."

"So do you want to do this now, without Chloe?" She really shouldn't be so happy at that prospect.

Clark shook his head, almost irritated.

 "No, no, if you guys could sort it out later that'd be great,  its just…I needed a little time to myself right now."

 She bit her lip slightly.

 "Oh, okay…"

 He sighed heavily and gave her a genuine apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like –"

 "No, don't worry about it." she smiled, all apparent good-humour. "Its not your fault the best coffee-shop in town has to come with a concerned friend asking questions…"

She made as if to move off, but the sight of there tugged at something in her heart. Dammit. She turned back.

"I'm sorry, Clark its just…its not like you to look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders-"

How he could have laughed in different circumstances at that.

"- Is everything okay? Are you sure you don't feel like talking about it?"

 The brief look he gave her was strange and almost unreadable….like he wanted to say something but had been long resigned to the fact that he couldn't…or something. That boy was such a mystery sometimes…

"I'm fine, its just…I'm waiting for something."

 She shook her head, not understanding.

" For what? What could make you so worried?"

 Clark's darkened eyes looked up at the clock.

"An answer." He muttered.

~ ~ ~

 Yes, he was waiting for an answer; to find out if his whole life was about to be destroyed. Not that he could imagine Lex turning against him so much as to reveal his secret…but right now he couldn't' be sure of anything. He'd just turned Lex's life upside down – all bets were off.

 After he'd finally spoken the truth…and repeated it, and rephrased it as Lex had kept pulling back from believing, asking him again and again incredulously if this was all for real, if this was a joke, if he realised what he was saying; and if he'd lost his mind.

 Clark had never in his wildest dreams though imagined anyone he told could accept the truth straight away. This wasn't the movies. People had very real ideas of where reality ended and science-fiction and/or crazy delusions began. So he'd stood firm – he'd let Lex see the truth in his face, and hear it in his voice.  And then of course, he'd had to give him proof.

 Lex had been walking away from him, towards his desk as if searching for something to lean on.

 "This is too surreal Clark, you can't….I mean, c'mon this is Smallville not Roswell for Christ's sake…"

 Clark had sighed and gritted his jaw as the denials continued, until he saw there was only one thing left to do.

 He stopped time. Well, from his perspective at least. He walked slowly and heavily across the room. Lex had his back to him, but as Clark walked around him, his face coming into view,  he felt his gut wrench at the expression on his face; of desperately trying not to panic.

 He'd stood right in front of him, sighed, and 'stepped back' into normal moving time.

 Of course, from Lex's point of view all he saw was a vague blur before Clark appeared out of nowhere – moved halfway across the room in less than the blink of an eye.

After the initial shock that took Lex's breath away, there had been the moment where it had all sunk in. Finally,thankfully,  after a painful long struggle between denial and acceptance, the latter had won.

"I can't believe this is happening…"

That softly-spoken statement of Lex's was what was ringing in Clark's head now as he sat waiting. Because for the first time in a long while he couldn't read the tone of Lex's voice…No matter how many times he re-played those words, and the words to follow, he couldn't be sure of what was being said …but he felt with a dull kind of dread that it was fear that Lex was feeling – fear and rejection. He'd started to say something, some sentiment or apology  - he couldn't remenber precisely now, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was Lex had eventually just turned away, and said softly;

 " I'm sorry,  but I think I need some time here."

 God, he'd never really had the right to hope for anything better than that…unfortunately such calm reasoning couldn't stop him feeling like he'd been hit by a truck . Looking back now he can't imagine how he could possibly have stopped himself from pleading with him right then and there – from trying to dissuade him from anything he might be thinking with tears and kisses and declarations of love and trust. Hell, it might have worked. But one of the points they had both been clear on from the minute they arranged the 'conditions' of this whole thing, was that this wasn't a perfect little romance. He may be a teenager but this wasn't a teenage affair; this was something that could hurt a lot of people, including them, if it wasn't kept in secret ; it was something that they had had to struggle to achieve and would have to struggle even harder to keep ; and  the revelations of today had just upped the stakes even more….No, this wasn't kids stuff. This was as real as it got. That meant a silent promise to leave off the emotional blackmail.

  So he'd just nodded, respecting his wishes, and tried not to sound offended, or just plain terrified. He tried…

 "Okay I can understand that…I mean,  I can hardly believe this is happening myself, and-"

 "- we're being honest here, right?"

"…yeah." He barely got the word out. God, if only Lex would've turned around…

 "Well, honestly, right now -  I need you not to be here."

 How had he possible brought himself to respond to that? Maybe it was because at the time it had all seemed so unreal. Only now, sitting here alone, was it finally registering.

"Sure, sure.." he'd poured out, too quiet, too nervous, but at least he kept the tears at bay. "I mean, take a couple of days, I'll give you some space –"

"Give me an hour clark."

"What?"

"One hour", Lex had said again, slowly, carefully. Then a slight tilt of the head towards him. No eye contact, but it was something. " I'll ..I'll have some sort of answer for you."

They both knew what the question was;

Could this – on top of the secrecy, age difference, and family prejudices- be too much for a fledgling relationship to survive, as wonderful and beautiful as it was? Clark sat alone amidst happier, less troubled, kids in the Talon, and waited to find out.

TBC