Disclaimer: AU Story. My second large fic because it gave me so much
pleasure writing the last. I do not own any of the characters or places in
this story- both belong to the genius, Tolkien. I know; I torture the
characters but I will do my very best to save them. Hope you enjoy!
Shirebound: Can't wait to read those chapters! Hehe, glad that the sssstory is pleassssing you, master.
TrueFan: This I count as updating slowly. In my little world. What you're doing can be counted as been fast or slow. In your little world. Same way as I might be a dog or hobbit or you might be a lovely reviewer or talented writer. Either way goes. I know, but I expected the Elvish not to turn out. It's like Fanfiction keeps spitting my work out!
Feline Daemon: I am SO envious. England hasn't seen snow since.. since.. well, since I was six. I made a snowman and it melted in the morning. I attempted making an igloo but I nearly suffocated myself in the process.
The Fellowship of the Nuts: Well, no, I have never been a Mary-Sue. *glances at self uneasily* Hopefully anyway. I guess the guy didn't like my character's attitude- maybe nothing personal. I am really enjoying your story!
Lil*bee: How was your Christmas? Good? Did YOU get snow? I try and get Legolas more in 'cos I know you like him lots. ;-)
Tiggivon: Oh, thank you so much! I'm so glad it turned out that way. I suppose Haldir couldn't understand since he has been living in Lórien in safety- only hearing tales. But perhaps in time.
The next few chapters are set in the time of the few days spent in the Golden Wood. Extract: "They spent a few days in Lothlórien" Need I say more? Well, it's a story opportunity to jump at.
~ Chapter Ten ~
Frodo woke blearily in the night, hearing himself cry,
"Gandalf!"
He remembered the nightmare vividly. It blazed in his mind but then dulled like fire. The flames coiled away and he was left with a memory.
Pippin was also awoken by his cousin's shout. Wrapping the blanket round him, he crept over to where Frodo was sitting up, head in his hands.
"Frodo," he said softly. The hobbit jumped and turned to Pippin with a hand clamped to his chest. His eyes were filled with terror and they were hollowed and shadowed with lack of sleep. Pippin tiptoed across and seated himself beside his companion. "Are you angry with us?" he asked.
Frodo looked at him quizzically.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, well, you don't seem yourself. At all. You used to be always cheerful and now.."
"Now I am not," his cousin filled in. He sighed heavily and Pippin knew this was not a conversation he wanted to have. He got up to leave. Frodo shook his head and pulled him down gently.
"No, it's alright, Pip, I understand. Now, do you want me to be very honest with you?"
"Alright," his friend answered, doubtfully, unsure of what he was about to hear. Frodo took a deep breath and lowered his eyes to the ground.
"Yes. I think I am angry. Maybe not with you yourself or with any of you in particular. Just as a group- because of what happened. The thing is, I don't know who to blame. And I need someone- something- anything to take the weight off my shoulders! It was me- that's all that goes through my head- my fault. I could have saved him-" Frodo took another shuddering breath to calm himself. He was silent for a long time as he collected his thoughts. "I could not bring myself to accept that blame. For if it was my fault then I have just lost one of my best friends and- and taken the Grey Pilgrim from this world. So, I blamed it on the Fellowship. That no one would let me go back for him. Blamed the whole world so I would not have to bear that weight." Pippin saw a tear drop to the ground and Frodo swallowed hard. Pippin wrapped an arm round his cousin's shoulders.
"You don't have to, Frodo," he said, "It's alright. I understand."
Frodo smiled at him through his tears but it quickly faded.
"I'm sorry, Pippin. That is really all I can say for now. Thank you, though. I needed to tell someone that."
"Is it a secret?" the hobbit asked. He was not really sure he wanted to keep such a big thing hidden. Frodo looked at him with eyes of flint. Eyes that Pippin could not recognise. But there was no hardness in his voice- he just sounded exhausted.
"It will cause them so much worry. I am sorry I piled it on you. If you feel you need to tell someone then, yes. But do not say because you fear for me. I- I can carry it here, in Lórien. Just be careful who you tell. Look, I'm sorry- I should never have told you."
"I'm glad you did, Frodo. It would be worse if you kept it a secret all your life.. Frodo, you can tell me anything, you know that. And the others. We came to help you. I don't think any of us want to be the cause of your being so unhappy."
"None of you make me unhappy," Frodo said with a trickle of laughter, "If it was not for all of you, I would not only be feeling very sorry for myself but I would be extremely dead indeed. I am grateful everyday for your company. It- it is hard to explain. I suppose I know the blame I put on you all is false. I know in my heart that I should be blaming- never mind. Sleep well, Pippin."
"Sleep well.."
And the hobbit left him. He knew how much Frodo had loved Gandalf. He knew that he would have given his life instead. And he also knew that Frodo was in no way to blame for what had happened. Pippin longed to say all these things and save his friend from so much pain but he knew that whatever he said would make very little difference. These days he could not tell whether it was Frodo or the Ring speaking. It tortured his mind, filling it with despair. Pippin missed Frodo. He did not like the strange new hobbit that had come to replace him.
Shirebound: Can't wait to read those chapters! Hehe, glad that the sssstory is pleassssing you, master.
TrueFan: This I count as updating slowly. In my little world. What you're doing can be counted as been fast or slow. In your little world. Same way as I might be a dog or hobbit or you might be a lovely reviewer or talented writer. Either way goes. I know, but I expected the Elvish not to turn out. It's like Fanfiction keeps spitting my work out!
Feline Daemon: I am SO envious. England hasn't seen snow since.. since.. well, since I was six. I made a snowman and it melted in the morning. I attempted making an igloo but I nearly suffocated myself in the process.
The Fellowship of the Nuts: Well, no, I have never been a Mary-Sue. *glances at self uneasily* Hopefully anyway. I guess the guy didn't like my character's attitude- maybe nothing personal. I am really enjoying your story!
Lil*bee: How was your Christmas? Good? Did YOU get snow? I try and get Legolas more in 'cos I know you like him lots. ;-)
Tiggivon: Oh, thank you so much! I'm so glad it turned out that way. I suppose Haldir couldn't understand since he has been living in Lórien in safety- only hearing tales. But perhaps in time.
The next few chapters are set in the time of the few days spent in the Golden Wood. Extract: "They spent a few days in Lothlórien" Need I say more? Well, it's a story opportunity to jump at.
~ Chapter Ten ~
Frodo woke blearily in the night, hearing himself cry,
"Gandalf!"
He remembered the nightmare vividly. It blazed in his mind but then dulled like fire. The flames coiled away and he was left with a memory.
Pippin was also awoken by his cousin's shout. Wrapping the blanket round him, he crept over to where Frodo was sitting up, head in his hands.
"Frodo," he said softly. The hobbit jumped and turned to Pippin with a hand clamped to his chest. His eyes were filled with terror and they were hollowed and shadowed with lack of sleep. Pippin tiptoed across and seated himself beside his companion. "Are you angry with us?" he asked.
Frodo looked at him quizzically.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, well, you don't seem yourself. At all. You used to be always cheerful and now.."
"Now I am not," his cousin filled in. He sighed heavily and Pippin knew this was not a conversation he wanted to have. He got up to leave. Frodo shook his head and pulled him down gently.
"No, it's alright, Pip, I understand. Now, do you want me to be very honest with you?"
"Alright," his friend answered, doubtfully, unsure of what he was about to hear. Frodo took a deep breath and lowered his eyes to the ground.
"Yes. I think I am angry. Maybe not with you yourself or with any of you in particular. Just as a group- because of what happened. The thing is, I don't know who to blame. And I need someone- something- anything to take the weight off my shoulders! It was me- that's all that goes through my head- my fault. I could have saved him-" Frodo took another shuddering breath to calm himself. He was silent for a long time as he collected his thoughts. "I could not bring myself to accept that blame. For if it was my fault then I have just lost one of my best friends and- and taken the Grey Pilgrim from this world. So, I blamed it on the Fellowship. That no one would let me go back for him. Blamed the whole world so I would not have to bear that weight." Pippin saw a tear drop to the ground and Frodo swallowed hard. Pippin wrapped an arm round his cousin's shoulders.
"You don't have to, Frodo," he said, "It's alright. I understand."
Frodo smiled at him through his tears but it quickly faded.
"I'm sorry, Pippin. That is really all I can say for now. Thank you, though. I needed to tell someone that."
"Is it a secret?" the hobbit asked. He was not really sure he wanted to keep such a big thing hidden. Frodo looked at him with eyes of flint. Eyes that Pippin could not recognise. But there was no hardness in his voice- he just sounded exhausted.
"It will cause them so much worry. I am sorry I piled it on you. If you feel you need to tell someone then, yes. But do not say because you fear for me. I- I can carry it here, in Lórien. Just be careful who you tell. Look, I'm sorry- I should never have told you."
"I'm glad you did, Frodo. It would be worse if you kept it a secret all your life.. Frodo, you can tell me anything, you know that. And the others. We came to help you. I don't think any of us want to be the cause of your being so unhappy."
"None of you make me unhappy," Frodo said with a trickle of laughter, "If it was not for all of you, I would not only be feeling very sorry for myself but I would be extremely dead indeed. I am grateful everyday for your company. It- it is hard to explain. I suppose I know the blame I put on you all is false. I know in my heart that I should be blaming- never mind. Sleep well, Pippin."
"Sleep well.."
And the hobbit left him. He knew how much Frodo had loved Gandalf. He knew that he would have given his life instead. And he also knew that Frodo was in no way to blame for what had happened. Pippin longed to say all these things and save his friend from so much pain but he knew that whatever he said would make very little difference. These days he could not tell whether it was Frodo or the Ring speaking. It tortured his mind, filling it with despair. Pippin missed Frodo. He did not like the strange new hobbit that had come to replace him.