MIRROR
Author's Note: In the last chapter - Tara told Buffy that the resurrection spell had gone wrong and that Buffy didn't have a soul. Buffy's immediate response was to have sex with Spike.
Chapter 2
When I arrived home, the place was empty. A note to me, from Tara, was left on the kitchen counter. Without reading it, I crumpled it into a ball and tossed it in the trash. I was in no mood for advice or a lecture.
After taking a shower, I changed into what Dawn and I laughingly called 'slutwear.' My blouse exposed as much cleavage as possible, while the bottom hem of my skirt barely covered my ass. Examining my appearance in the mirror, I was pleased. I looked hot and just a bit trashy. It definitely went well with my new attitude.
It took only a few minutes for me to walk to the Doublemeat Palace. Lorraine, the manager, saw me as I entered, and came forward with a disapproving look on her face at my attire. I ignored it and told her that I wanted to talk to her in her office, privately.
It didn't take long for me to say what I had to say. I told her that I'd thought about it, and just didn't think I could live with the lie anymore. All those people believing that they were buying meat, and getting veggie burgers instead was bothering me. I couldn't defraud customers anymore…and how many millions defrauded was that again?
Lorraine got the message. She said that she'd be in touch with the company's lawyers, and that she was sure they could think of some way to ease my guilt. Happily, I skipped out and headed for the mall. I wanted to buy something new for tonight, and didn't think that money would be a problem in the near future.
- - - - - - - -
That night, the Bronze was full of sweaty, sexy, young things as Willow, Tara, Dawn, and I pushed our way inside. But, I wasn't interested in them. I was busy searching for a very non-sweaty, definitely not young, but incredibly sexy blonde. Too much time had passed since I'd last seen him, since I'd last had him, and I wanted him again. Now.
Willow seemed to be eyeing Tara speculatively, unsure as to why she'd spent the night on the couch. Obviously, Tara hadn't talked to the others about our little conversation. Dawn was still a bit pissed that I hadn't been there that morning, before school, but I ignored her. I'd been ignoring her before I found out I was soulless, but now I had a good excuse for it.
Xander and Anya were waiting at a table, and waved as they saw us. Xander's eyes widened, and I noticed him swallow as I took off my jacket and he saw my outfit. The lacy little skirt was demure enough, but my top was almost sheer, and I wasn't wearing anything under it. As I looked around the table, I could tell that Xander wasn't the only one staring.
"Um, Buffy," Willow ventured, "I think you forgot something."
"Hmm?" I responded, as innocently as possible.
Anya answered my unspoken question.
"Your bra, Buffy. You didn't put one on. I can practically see your nipples."
While the others looked away in embarrassment, and Xander reached for his drink and started gulping, I turned to confront Anya.
"Really? You can almost see my breasts? What do you think of them?"
"Well, actually they're quite nice. Mine are a bit bigger, though."
She would have continued, but Xander began to choke on his beer, so she turned away and proceeded to pound on his back. Willow was huddled next to him, trying to make sure he was still breathing, while Tara and Dawn looked on in concern. I took this opportunity to scan the room. I knew I'd felt Spike's presence when I'd entered the club. Now, I focused my slayer senses on finding him.
Spike was standing in the shadows of the stairwell, watching us, watching me. Without even glancing at my friends, I rose from my seat and started towards him. His face became wary, unsure, and he stood straighter as I approached. When I grabbed the lapels of his coat, he visibly flinched, expecting to be hit, knocked away. Instead, I leaned forward and nibbled on his lower lip. He was surprised, but quickly got into the right spirit when my hands slipped under his coat and slid around his body to grip his ass, pulling him closer.
For a few minutes, our mouths and tongues played with each other, until he raised his head and spoke.
"Thought you were going to ignore me if your friends were here," he whispered.
"I lied."
Reluctantly relinquishing his luscious backside, I clasped one of his hands and led him across the room with me towards my friends – friends who were now staring at me as if they didn't know me. The exceptions were Dawn, who was smiling, and Tara, who seemed upset. Everyone else looked as if they'd just been punched in the stomach and hadn't gotten their breaths back yet.
I pushed Spike down into the chair I had vacated earlier, and plopped myself on top of him, wiggling my backside until I was comfortable, and he was not. Then, I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around me. It felt nice, cocooned against his cool, hard body.
Xander gaped a bit more, then turned to Willow accusingly.
"It's a spell. You did a spell. Well, you can just undo it."
"I didn't, I swear. No spell."
Leaning my head against Spike's shoulder, I refuted her claim, my voice low and harsh, even to my own ears.
"But you did do a spell. And you messed it up. Again."
I now had everyone's attention.
"You screwed up, Willow. When Spike hits me, the chip doesn't go off. That means I'm not quite human. You brought me back wrong!"
"No…"
Furious, I rose from Spike's lap and leaned over Willow, forcing her back in her chair, her eyes wide with fright.
"You did! Ask Tara. She researched it for me. Now, I don't have my soul. Not only did you pull me out of heaven, you damned me so that I can never go back!"
Without thinking, I raised my fist. I wanted to hurt her, hurt her like I was hurting. I would've struck her, but Spike grabbed my arm and dragged me back into his lap, tightly holding me while tremors of emotion raged through me, causing me to shake.
The others were on their feet, backing away. Dawn seemed uncertain, looking back and forth between Willow, who was in tears and being led away by Xander, and myself.
"Go with them," I told her. "I'm spending the night with Spike, but by the time I get home tomorrow, I want her gone."
I stayed in Spike's arms, my head nestled in the space where his neck met his shoulder, long after the Scoobies had escaped from the Bronze and my wrath. His cool fingers kept caressing my arms, my back, the nape of my neck, trying to calm me down, doing his best to offer me comfort. Slowly I started to feel better, more relaxed.
With my nose up against his skin, he smelled marvelous, and I wondered if all vampires smelled so good. I tried, but couldn't remember if Angel had ever been so appealing to my senses. Deliberately, I flicked my tongue against his skin, tasting him, and from his reaction, you'd think an electric current had just run through him.
Spike pushed me away from him a little so that he could look into my face.
"Luv? You okay?"
Sighing, I looked down for a moment, then back up to his concerned face.
"Didn't you hear? I'm not okay. I'll never be okay."
I was an evil, soulless thing. I knew that since I was soulless, I shouldn't be feeling the way I was, but as I leaned back against him, a tear slipped down my cheek.
tbc