Epilogue to "Mirror"
Spike's POV
Part 2
She walked so swiftly and purposefully down the street, that even with my much longer legs, I had to strive to keep up. When I'd plucked her from the ground, she'd seemed so weak. I'd been a bit shaky myself; Buffy wasn't the only one with 'buried alive' issues. I'd wondered if regaining her soul and having to face the consequences of her actions had been too much for her. From the way she was acting now, though, she'd blocked it out for the moment. Too busy doing her duty to soul-search.
As Buffy marched towards the Magic Box, I knew that the true Slayer had returned. She was radiant in her fierceness. Hell, she glowed. Had we all been so blinded by our happiness when she'd first came back that we'd been too daft to notice that she wasn't whole?
Less than a block away from the Magic Box, we spied Harris and Dawn entering the store, and we glanced at each other briefly before breaking into a run. We raced into the shop to see Willow trying to lead Anya, Harris, and Dawn into the backroom. Anya, for one, wasn't buying whatever Red was trying to sell and that was delaying the entire shebang. Guess Demon Girl's instincts had kicked in, and she knew something wasn't on the up and up.
"I don't understand…I thought Buffy and Spike were going to be here. And if I'd known you would be calling me in the middle of the night for help, I'd have paid the extra money and gotten an unlisted number."
The others were startled when Buffy ran up, grabbed Dawn, and almost threw her to me.
"Get her out of here, Spike! Now!"
I nodded and started to turns towards the door with Dawn in my arms, but Willow's power surrounded me and I couldn't move. Harris just looked from one friend to the other, confused, like the stupid prat he was. Anya had ticked to the situation immediately, and was grasping her pendant and chanting a protection spell. Buffy headed for the witch, but Red flung out her arm and Buffy was thrown back into Harris, knocking him down. I figured that he was out for the count.
Stuggling with the invisible bonds, I helplessly watched as, again Buffy tried to attack Willow, and was again tossed aside. This time, when she flew through the air, she hit one of the loft supports, which broke off, causing the structure to sway and tremble.
Buffy slowly rose to her feet. Willow was winning, and we all knew it.
"I need Dawn!" shouted the witch. "She's the key. I can trade her for Tara."
Even with the binding spell, I could feel the little one trembling in my arms.
"She's not even human…just a green ball of energy. Think about it, Buffy…I get Tara back, and you get rid of this whiney brat that some monks forced you into taking care of."
Picking up the broken support, Buffy hurled it at her best friend.
"No one calls my sister a whiney brat…but me."
With a wave of her hand, Willow sent the support flying away from her, to crash into one of the shop's displays. Anya let out a gasp of dismay, and for a moment, her protection spell faltered, but seconds later it was back up in full force.
Willow turned to me and I felt the bonds around me lift.
"Well, if you're not going to be reasonable, I'll just have to talk to someone else, then."
I saw that Buffy was now the one struggling to move, her face grit in concentration at the effort. Pushing Dawn behind me, I started to back away towards the door, keeping myself between Red and the Bit. The witch came towards me with a smile on her face that reminded me of Drusilla. It was the same smile Dru wore right before she ripped someone's heart out.
"Spike, I need two people. Xander will help me - that's one. Obviously Buffy and Anya are out. That makes you pretty important."
"No. Not going to help you."
"No? You're evil, remember? Have you forgotten what you really are?"
I figured that we were within a couple of yards of the door now, closer, but still too far to make a break for it yet. Needed to keep the witch talking.
"You're the brains. You tell me what I am."
"Oh, I don't need to tell you. I'll show you instead."
She lowered her voice, so that I was the only one who could hear.
"You think that if you keep helping, keep saving the world, then one day, Buffy will love you. It's never going to happen. She knows what you are, what you'll always be. Watch her now…watch Buffy's face."
Suddenly I felt a pain in my head, like it was being split open and prodded into. There was a flash of light, and then Willow let out a cry of triumph and whirled to face Buffy.
"Look what I've got!
She held out, for everyone's inspection a small square of circuitry.
"It's Spike's chip.
Buffy's eyes rose to meet mine and my dead heart ached. On her face was reflected all the loathing that she'd ever felt for me. She looked at me and all she saw was a vampire.
Willow turned once again to face me.
"Help me, Spike, and the chip stays out. Help me and I'll give you whatever…or whoever you want."
Moments passed, while the tension lay heavy on us all, before I sighed and answered her.
"Fine. You win."
The tears were streaking down Dawn's cheeks now, as I gripped her hand tightly and headed towards Willow. Buffy's muscles were straining uselessly against the invisible bonds, but I ignored her. Red simply smiled in victory.
"Good. Now all I have to do is wake Xander up."
She turned her back on me, then. With all of my speed, I lunged for her throat, knocking her down to the ground. Her concentration broken, the power holding Buffy dissipated and the Slayer grabbed Dawn and ran towards the door. As they disappeared out into the night, I felt a lightning strike of pain in my head, and I reeled in agony. The chip had been replaced.
Willow flung me away and stood, touching the blood that still trickled from her throat where my fangs had pierced her.
"That wasn't a smart thing to do, Spike."
"Hey, evil here. Just going with the flow."
She lifted her hand, and a ball of fire appeared in it. Looked as if I was going to be nothing but ashes in a minute.
"You're not going to stop me," she vowed. "No one is going to stop me!"
It was at that moment the Watcher showed up.
- - - - - - - -
I followed Buffy and Dawn's scent all the way to my crypt after leaving the Magic Box, while the Watcher and the Witch battled it out. Narrowly avoiding the swing of an axe, I entered my home. Both girls looked at me with suspicion, but I only nodded at them as I made my way to my weapons chest.
"Good, you're armed," I said noting Buffy's axe and Dawn's crossbow.
Grabbing a sword for myself, I led the way to the trapdoor and motioned for them to follow me. After a moment's hesitation, they did. We headed towards the tunnels and only when I heard Buffy's slightly erratic breathing, did I realize that scrambling about in the bowels of the earth might not be her idea of fun. I tried to take her mind off of it by telling her about the Watcher's arrival, but she didn't say a word until we reached the point where the tunnels meet the sewers.
"Spike, Dawn has to rest."
I glanced back and realized that she was right. The little one was close to collapse, both emotionally and physically. I nodded and the girls both sank to the ground while I kept watch, my sword at ready.
"Where are we going, anyway?" Buffy asked.
"The Hellmouth."
With a yell, the Slayer was on her feet and pressing me against the rock wall.
"Why are you taking my little sister there?
Frustrated, I pushed her off me.
"The Hellmouth has its own brand of evil. Magic tends to go all wonky near it."
I glared at her. She simply crossed her arms across her chest and glared back.
"Good God woman! I've offered to sacrifice myself for you, been tossed into a grave, saved you and the Bit from Willow…and was nearly roasted to a crisp for it might I add…and it still isn't enough for you. What the bloody hell do I have to do to deserve you?"
"And what about what I deserve?"
Her defensive stance dropped from her then. She glanced back to see if Dawn was paying any attention to us, but her sis was too far gone in her own misery to notice ours.
"I deserve to have trust in a relationship – trust that I won't be hurt. Trust that I won't have to hurt the person I'm with. Spike, I understand you now, more than I ever thought I would. When I didn't have a soul, it was like I was empty. I didn't know what to do or how to act. It was only my feelings for Dawn and…and others that kept me from…"
She glanced away for a moment, as if she'd just seen something in her mind that she didn't want to acknowledge. With a heavy sigh, she looked back at me and when she spoke, her voice was quieter and filled with regret.
"But I still managed to hurt Dawn, and my friends, and you. And I don't have a demon inside me urging me towards destruction."
Moving closer, she stared at me, needing for me to understand. Momentarily, I closed my eyes, wanting to block out what she was telling me.
"Buffy," I pleaded in a hoarse whisper. "When are you going to see the man and not the monster?"
"Spike…William…I do see the man. But the vampire is always there, too."
She reached up and gently stroked my cheek before taking a shaky breath and continuing.
"What you've done for me…making me realize that I needed a soul, saving me. I can never repay you for that. I do have feelings for you. I care for you. Much more than I should. But I can't love you. I can't let myself love you. I'm sorry."
Leaning towards me, she pressed a soft, chaste kiss on my lips, and I felt my heart crumple into dust. It was a kiss of good-bye. Good-bye to all that we'd been to each other over the last few months, and good-bye to all my dreams of how we could be. Part of me wanted to cry. Another part wanted to kill.
The earth shook then, causing dirt to sprinkle down upon us. The Slayer dove for where her little sis was sitting, protecting her the best she could while I stood over the two of them, in an effort to shield them from the fallout. The rumbling went on and on. No ordinary California phenomenon, then. When it finally stopped bouncing us about, we stared at each other, not sure as to whether to venture on, or make a break for the surface.
We ended up staying put.
After some time passed, there was a 'poof' and Demon Girl appeared. She told us how, despite beating the Watcher, Willow had decided that she couldn't live with the pain and the guilt of Tara's death, and made a play to destroy the world. Anya spun us a tale about Harris saving us all with some lame story about a yellow crayon, and I had to laugh. If I'd tried that one on Angelus and Dru, would've been digging pieces of crayon out of myself for the next decade. If I'd lived, that is.
As the sun rose, Dawn and Buffy climbed up and out of the tunnels, but I remained in the dark. Buffy glanced once more down at me, before reluctantly moving away into the sunshine, Dawn's hand in hers. I stayed in the shadows, and made my way towards my crypt, knowing that it might be the last time I saw her. I knew what I now had to do.
It was time to give Buffy what she deserved.
The End
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