Disclaimer: I do not own GW or anything affiliated with them, I do however,
own the plot.
"~June 19, 195 AC~
~We just got to the new circus area, it's right next to the OZ base. Cathy says that they'll never know I'm here, so there was nothing to worry about. I don't know, but Faith knows we're here and she doesn't like it. She'll jump up and look out the window and bark at people who go by until I call her to come and lay with me. Cathy lets me watch TV and rest, I don't feel like doing anything else. She tries to get me to eat, but I don't want to, thinking about it makes me sick all over again. Sometimes I eat, but a lot of the time, I just drink water.
The first show is tonight and Cathy is practicing and she'll be gone for a long time, but that's okay. I'll be okay by myself and Faith is with me too.
The others called again this morning, I tried to talk to them but got too tired and fell asleep. They said they're really worried about me, they say I shouldn't be this tired all the time, not for all this long. But I told them that it was okay and I was just trying to get better. I don't think they believed me. I don't know what's wrong, I wish I did. Faith wants to play now, she really does but I can't play with her and she just whines. She won't play when all the people are here though, she knows how to be quiet.
Cathy says if I am still really tired later, she's going to take me to the hospital, She says she's getting worried too and the others said it was good idea. They said just in case. They don't want anything to happen to me and if it's making them that scared, it makes me scared too. I don't know what's wrong and I don't want to die or anything. I'm scared of dying, I don't want to be all alone. I'm scared of leaving my family and going away. I don't know if I'll ever see them again if I die. If I do die, I hope that someone will read this. That they'll keep it and use it for me. If I die, then I want Faith to stay with my brothers and Wing Zero too. I don't have anything else of mine, so there's nothing else to give to them. I know we all die one day, I just don't want to right now. But if I die, I want to die with my family, and for them to bury me in a really pretty spot in the forest. I like the forest, it's really peaceful and nice, I hope with a lot of flowers like Miss Relena has, they're so pretty. Especially in the morning time. I'll have to ask Cathy what happens when you die.
I've got a really bad feeling something is going to happen, and it's going to hurt and be bad, but I don't know what or who or when. I just know, something bad is going to happen to me. I hope not, but in case so, I need to ask Cathy about dying and if I do, tell her to read this for me and have my brothers share and use it.
I'm getting so tired again, so I'm just going to go ahead and rest for a little bit. I just have to wake up before Cathy comes back.
I'm in the hospital now. I fell asleep and Cathy had a lot of trouble trying to wake me up. I'm not sure what is wrong and no one else is. She only closed her eyes and didn't look at me when I asked her what happened if you die. She said, that when you died, the good people went to heaven and lived happy with big, pretty, white wings and can fly and never hurt again. They turn into angels. The bad people like the ones that started the war went to hell and they were made to hurt like I had to but for forever. I don't think that is right. They might be bad people, but no one ever needs to hurt like I did. Ever. Cathy said that when I was an old man and almost a hundred, then I had to worry about going to heaven. I wasn't going to die. But she didn't look at me and her voice was really soft, so I don't know yet.
I told her that if I had to die, I wanted her to do something for me. To give Wing Zero and Faith to my brothers and to let them read my journal. Then use it so that it would be taken care of cause it was a good present. Then I started telling her about being buried in a pretty forest with flowers like the ones in Miss Relena's garden to make everything a lot prettier and she started crying. I said I was sorry and she said it was okay. She was just worried and didn't know what was wrong yet and the doctors were still doing tests and I was just making her sad with talking about dying. She said it sounded like I almost wanted to. I told her I don't and I was sorry, but I had a bad feeling about something and I wanted her to know what to do.
The doctor just came in, he said that he had the tests back and they were weird. He says he doesn't see anything wrong with me besides I'm not eating and I told him before I didn't want to because it made me really sick and I don't like being sick. He says I'm not even allergic to anything to make this happen. Cathy's crying again, but now she's smiling. The doctor says that the only thing he can think of is that I'm getting too much sleep and when I do, it makes me tired, just like not enough sleep can. He says that I should stay up for the rest of the night and then I can sleep in the morning for a little while, then I've got to try and stay up all day. But I'm still tired!
I just asked Cathy why she started crying again, she says that she's just glad that that is all and that I'm not really sick and nothing bad is wrong with me. That's good, and when I asked her if that meant that I wasn't going to die for a long time, she started laughing and said when I was really old.
I'm glad she's smiling now and she said that we can go home now, then we can call my brothers and tell them. I've got to try and eat a lot more they said, I don't want to but I have to. Just thinking about it is making my stomach hurt already.
I just called my brothers and we're at home now and Cathy is trying to keep me up. She's making some soup for us right now. My brothers said they were really glad that maybe I was just sleeping too much and that I'm getting as bad as Duo. He just pretended to be mad and pout, Duo did, then he started laughing too. They also said that I should start eating slow and then start eating more and more when I was ready. Even if I didn't really want to, I had to try. So I'm going to.
They also said that they were waiting for me to feel better and get my and Zita's show practiced and ready so they had the perfect excuse to come back. They were ready when I was.
I also told them where we were at and they said that they were really proud of me for being brave and being so close to an OZ base. They said OZ wasn't smart enough to know I was there and that they wouldn't mess with me because when you make Cathy mad, they were going to pay. And Cathy likes me so that she'd never let them hurt me. That, and they were afraid of me because I was a really good fighter and a Gundam Pilot like they were. I still am, but I don't have to fight now. That's good, because I don't like to fight. As long as I didn't tell OZ that, they didn't know the difference. I'm glad.
Cathy says the soup is almost ready so I have to put this away and stop writing. I get tired when I write too, so I'm not going to write until tomorrow. I've got to try and stay up now.
Bye."~
"~June 19, 195 AC~
~We just got to the new circus area, it's right next to the OZ base. Cathy says that they'll never know I'm here, so there was nothing to worry about. I don't know, but Faith knows we're here and she doesn't like it. She'll jump up and look out the window and bark at people who go by until I call her to come and lay with me. Cathy lets me watch TV and rest, I don't feel like doing anything else. She tries to get me to eat, but I don't want to, thinking about it makes me sick all over again. Sometimes I eat, but a lot of the time, I just drink water.
The first show is tonight and Cathy is practicing and she'll be gone for a long time, but that's okay. I'll be okay by myself and Faith is with me too.
The others called again this morning, I tried to talk to them but got too tired and fell asleep. They said they're really worried about me, they say I shouldn't be this tired all the time, not for all this long. But I told them that it was okay and I was just trying to get better. I don't think they believed me. I don't know what's wrong, I wish I did. Faith wants to play now, she really does but I can't play with her and she just whines. She won't play when all the people are here though, she knows how to be quiet.
Cathy says if I am still really tired later, she's going to take me to the hospital, She says she's getting worried too and the others said it was good idea. They said just in case. They don't want anything to happen to me and if it's making them that scared, it makes me scared too. I don't know what's wrong and I don't want to die or anything. I'm scared of dying, I don't want to be all alone. I'm scared of leaving my family and going away. I don't know if I'll ever see them again if I die. If I do die, I hope that someone will read this. That they'll keep it and use it for me. If I die, then I want Faith to stay with my brothers and Wing Zero too. I don't have anything else of mine, so there's nothing else to give to them. I know we all die one day, I just don't want to right now. But if I die, I want to die with my family, and for them to bury me in a really pretty spot in the forest. I like the forest, it's really peaceful and nice, I hope with a lot of flowers like Miss Relena has, they're so pretty. Especially in the morning time. I'll have to ask Cathy what happens when you die.
I've got a really bad feeling something is going to happen, and it's going to hurt and be bad, but I don't know what or who or when. I just know, something bad is going to happen to me. I hope not, but in case so, I need to ask Cathy about dying and if I do, tell her to read this for me and have my brothers share and use it.
I'm getting so tired again, so I'm just going to go ahead and rest for a little bit. I just have to wake up before Cathy comes back.
I'm in the hospital now. I fell asleep and Cathy had a lot of trouble trying to wake me up. I'm not sure what is wrong and no one else is. She only closed her eyes and didn't look at me when I asked her what happened if you die. She said, that when you died, the good people went to heaven and lived happy with big, pretty, white wings and can fly and never hurt again. They turn into angels. The bad people like the ones that started the war went to hell and they were made to hurt like I had to but for forever. I don't think that is right. They might be bad people, but no one ever needs to hurt like I did. Ever. Cathy said that when I was an old man and almost a hundred, then I had to worry about going to heaven. I wasn't going to die. But she didn't look at me and her voice was really soft, so I don't know yet.
I told her that if I had to die, I wanted her to do something for me. To give Wing Zero and Faith to my brothers and to let them read my journal. Then use it so that it would be taken care of cause it was a good present. Then I started telling her about being buried in a pretty forest with flowers like the ones in Miss Relena's garden to make everything a lot prettier and she started crying. I said I was sorry and she said it was okay. She was just worried and didn't know what was wrong yet and the doctors were still doing tests and I was just making her sad with talking about dying. She said it sounded like I almost wanted to. I told her I don't and I was sorry, but I had a bad feeling about something and I wanted her to know what to do.
The doctor just came in, he said that he had the tests back and they were weird. He says he doesn't see anything wrong with me besides I'm not eating and I told him before I didn't want to because it made me really sick and I don't like being sick. He says I'm not even allergic to anything to make this happen. Cathy's crying again, but now she's smiling. The doctor says that the only thing he can think of is that I'm getting too much sleep and when I do, it makes me tired, just like not enough sleep can. He says that I should stay up for the rest of the night and then I can sleep in the morning for a little while, then I've got to try and stay up all day. But I'm still tired!
I just asked Cathy why she started crying again, she says that she's just glad that that is all and that I'm not really sick and nothing bad is wrong with me. That's good, and when I asked her if that meant that I wasn't going to die for a long time, she started laughing and said when I was really old.
I'm glad she's smiling now and she said that we can go home now, then we can call my brothers and tell them. I've got to try and eat a lot more they said, I don't want to but I have to. Just thinking about it is making my stomach hurt already.
I just called my brothers and we're at home now and Cathy is trying to keep me up. She's making some soup for us right now. My brothers said they were really glad that maybe I was just sleeping too much and that I'm getting as bad as Duo. He just pretended to be mad and pout, Duo did, then he started laughing too. They also said that I should start eating slow and then start eating more and more when I was ready. Even if I didn't really want to, I had to try. So I'm going to.
They also said that they were waiting for me to feel better and get my and Zita's show practiced and ready so they had the perfect excuse to come back. They were ready when I was.
I also told them where we were at and they said that they were really proud of me for being brave and being so close to an OZ base. They said OZ wasn't smart enough to know I was there and that they wouldn't mess with me because when you make Cathy mad, they were going to pay. And Cathy likes me so that she'd never let them hurt me. That, and they were afraid of me because I was a really good fighter and a Gundam Pilot like they were. I still am, but I don't have to fight now. That's good, because I don't like to fight. As long as I didn't tell OZ that, they didn't know the difference. I'm glad.
Cathy says the soup is almost ready so I have to put this away and stop writing. I get tired when I write too, so I'm not going to write until tomorrow. I've got to try and stay up now.
Bye."~