Simon's Choice
Chapter 1/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine, but I wish they were so I could write them the way I want them to be. As they are on the show now I wouldn't want to claim them. I own any characters not established on 7th Heaven.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I have posted chapter 1-5 previously, but I decided to rewrite the story in first person narrative. It's the same, more or less, with a little more insight into Simon's thoughts. Later chapters will reflect more changes from the original narrative. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: The Choice
I sat in the car for a long time, just sitting in the driveway because sitting there seemed a lot easier than going inside. Everyone should be in bed by now, but with my family, someone is always awake, and I expected my parents to wait up for me tonight, the night they let me leave the house even though I'm on restriction.
How could I explain this to them? Could I explain it? Could I justify what I had done? What would I do if they refused? They couldn't refuse, simply couldn't. I had come too far to turn back now.
I glanced at the bundle of towels on the passenger seat beside me. I had made a choice, a serious choice, and I needed my parents to help me. "Please, God, make them help me," I whispered and gathered the towels to my chest.
The house was dark, only the light over stove seemed to be on, giving me enough light to slip inside and lock the door. I took a deep breath and turned around, expecting someone to be there, sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. Finding the room empty, relief washed over me. I wasn't ready to face them yet.
I couldn't believe I made it to my room without being seen. Just as I was about to shut my door, Happy rounded the corner from the attic stairs and rushed into my room. She jumped up on my bed and cocked her head, her eyes asking me what I help.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and held my bundle out for her inspection. "Be gentle, Happy," I whispered. She sniffed at the baby, then lay her head on my leg with a sigh.
A moment later the door knob turned and my door creaked open. I held my breath and instinctively held the baby to my shoulder.
"Simon?" Ruthie peeked in, and brushed a tangle of curls from her forehead.
"Go back to bed, Ruthie."
She stepped into my room with her hands on her hips. The baby had kicked her feet, and Ruthie had seen the towels move because of it. "What are you doing?"
"Just go to back upstairs." I tried to keep his voice calm, even with my heart pounding violently in my chest.
"I'm awake now." Ruthie stepped inside my room and shut the door and narrowed her eyes at me. "You're up to something, Simon Camden and I want to know what it is."
"Good night, Ruthie." I would have tried to push her out of the room, except to do that I would have had to put the baby down. Ruthie and her big mouth were not my ideal confidant with this secret.
The baby squirmed and whimpered, forcing me to shift her in my arms. "Simon!" Ruthie yelped when she saw what I held.
"Shhh!" I made a grab for Ruthie's arm, and tried to bore holes in her with my eyes. "I'm not ready to tell Mom and Dad."
"Simon Camden, what have you done?" Ruthie looked up at me with wide eyes. "Is it..."
I took a deep breath and turned the baby to rest in the crook of my arm so Ruthie could see her face better. So smooth and perfect. So innocent. "Yes. Her mother is afraid to keep her. Her dad would kill her."
"Mom's going to kill you," Ruthie whispered, but she stepped closer and pulled a corner of a towel back to see better. The look of pure adoration on her face betrayed her defeatist attitude.
"No she won't. She'll be shocked, I know. But she'll understand. Mom and Dad both. They have to."
"What if they don't?"
I sighed. I couldn't think about that. I couldn't think about giving this beautiful baby away. "Then...then I don't know what. But I have to do this, Ruthie. I have to take care of this baby. But it doesn't matter, because they will help me. They will."
"Do you have diapers? Formula? A bottle? What about clothes for her?"
I shook my head. I hadn't even thought about those things. I only thought about the baby, and the decision to take her home. I couldn't just turn her over to strangers. I couldn't do that to her. She was my baby, the moment I held her in that phone booth where she was born, she was mine. And I was hers.
"I didn't think...all the stores are closed. She'll be okay until morning."
"Until she gets hungry, you mean. Babies have to eat, Simon. They eat a lot. The eat all the time."
"I know. But...But she'll be okay. She's a good baby, aren't you, honey?"
"Even good babies get hungry. And do you know what babies do when they're hungry? They cry, Simon. How are you going to explain that to Mom?"
I kept my eyes focused on the baby, because I would have cried if I looked at Ruthie. My little sister. So mature, more mature than me. More mature at 12 than I would ever be.
I wanted to take it back, this whole night. I could ignore Claire's phone call, I wouldn't go to the phone booth. I wouldn't help her deliver her baby that she didn't want. Why did I have to be the one? Why did I have to decide this baby's fate?
Had I made the wrong decision? How could I live with myself if I had made any other choice?
"What's her name?" Ruthie asked, and she reached up to stroke the baby's cheek with a fingertip.
"I don't know." I looked up then, and met Ruthie's eyes. I felt something inside me shift, and I knew. I smiled and kissed my daughter's forehead. "Mykaela. Mykaela Claire Camden." He turned and held the baby out, offering her to Ruthie. "Meet your niece, Ruthie. Mykaela, meet aunt Ruthie."
I held Mykaela out a little, offering her to Ruthie. Ruthie took the baby in her arms and settled her against her chest. "Aunt Ruthie. I like the way that sounds."
"So do I."
"Daddy Simon might take a little more getting used to."
I felt dizzy suddenly, like the night I'd bee too drunk to walk straight. Daddy. That single word spiraled in my mind, twisting and turning, tumbling, rolling, filling me. I took several deep breaths to clear my head.
"Daddy...I'm a daddy..." I stumbled backward onto my bed and sat with a heavy thump.
"And your towels are wet. Lucky for you I know where Mom put the bottles and cloth diapers she had for Sam and David. Here. Take her and I'll be right back." Ruthie handed the baby back to me and disappeared, Happy chasing her heels.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End REVISED chapter 1. Pretty much the same as the original chapter, only now told in first person POV because I realised getting into Simon's head would be a better way to go. So I hope you enjoyed it!
Chapter 1/?
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine, but I wish they were so I could write them the way I want them to be. As they are on the show now I wouldn't want to claim them. I own any characters not established on 7th Heaven.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I have posted chapter 1-5 previously, but I decided to rewrite the story in first person narrative. It's the same, more or less, with a little more insight into Simon's thoughts. Later chapters will reflect more changes from the original narrative. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: The Choice
I sat in the car for a long time, just sitting in the driveway because sitting there seemed a lot easier than going inside. Everyone should be in bed by now, but with my family, someone is always awake, and I expected my parents to wait up for me tonight, the night they let me leave the house even though I'm on restriction.
How could I explain this to them? Could I explain it? Could I justify what I had done? What would I do if they refused? They couldn't refuse, simply couldn't. I had come too far to turn back now.
I glanced at the bundle of towels on the passenger seat beside me. I had made a choice, a serious choice, and I needed my parents to help me. "Please, God, make them help me," I whispered and gathered the towels to my chest.
The house was dark, only the light over stove seemed to be on, giving me enough light to slip inside and lock the door. I took a deep breath and turned around, expecting someone to be there, sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. Finding the room empty, relief washed over me. I wasn't ready to face them yet.
I couldn't believe I made it to my room without being seen. Just as I was about to shut my door, Happy rounded the corner from the attic stairs and rushed into my room. She jumped up on my bed and cocked her head, her eyes asking me what I help.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and held my bundle out for her inspection. "Be gentle, Happy," I whispered. She sniffed at the baby, then lay her head on my leg with a sigh.
A moment later the door knob turned and my door creaked open. I held my breath and instinctively held the baby to my shoulder.
"Simon?" Ruthie peeked in, and brushed a tangle of curls from her forehead.
"Go back to bed, Ruthie."
She stepped into my room with her hands on her hips. The baby had kicked her feet, and Ruthie had seen the towels move because of it. "What are you doing?"
"Just go to back upstairs." I tried to keep his voice calm, even with my heart pounding violently in my chest.
"I'm awake now." Ruthie stepped inside my room and shut the door and narrowed her eyes at me. "You're up to something, Simon Camden and I want to know what it is."
"Good night, Ruthie." I would have tried to push her out of the room, except to do that I would have had to put the baby down. Ruthie and her big mouth were not my ideal confidant with this secret.
The baby squirmed and whimpered, forcing me to shift her in my arms. "Simon!" Ruthie yelped when she saw what I held.
"Shhh!" I made a grab for Ruthie's arm, and tried to bore holes in her with my eyes. "I'm not ready to tell Mom and Dad."
"Simon Camden, what have you done?" Ruthie looked up at me with wide eyes. "Is it..."
I took a deep breath and turned the baby to rest in the crook of my arm so Ruthie could see her face better. So smooth and perfect. So innocent. "Yes. Her mother is afraid to keep her. Her dad would kill her."
"Mom's going to kill you," Ruthie whispered, but she stepped closer and pulled a corner of a towel back to see better. The look of pure adoration on her face betrayed her defeatist attitude.
"No she won't. She'll be shocked, I know. But she'll understand. Mom and Dad both. They have to."
"What if they don't?"
I sighed. I couldn't think about that. I couldn't think about giving this beautiful baby away. "Then...then I don't know what. But I have to do this, Ruthie. I have to take care of this baby. But it doesn't matter, because they will help me. They will."
"Do you have diapers? Formula? A bottle? What about clothes for her?"
I shook my head. I hadn't even thought about those things. I only thought about the baby, and the decision to take her home. I couldn't just turn her over to strangers. I couldn't do that to her. She was my baby, the moment I held her in that phone booth where she was born, she was mine. And I was hers.
"I didn't think...all the stores are closed. She'll be okay until morning."
"Until she gets hungry, you mean. Babies have to eat, Simon. They eat a lot. The eat all the time."
"I know. But...But she'll be okay. She's a good baby, aren't you, honey?"
"Even good babies get hungry. And do you know what babies do when they're hungry? They cry, Simon. How are you going to explain that to Mom?"
I kept my eyes focused on the baby, because I would have cried if I looked at Ruthie. My little sister. So mature, more mature than me. More mature at 12 than I would ever be.
I wanted to take it back, this whole night. I could ignore Claire's phone call, I wouldn't go to the phone booth. I wouldn't help her deliver her baby that she didn't want. Why did I have to be the one? Why did I have to decide this baby's fate?
Had I made the wrong decision? How could I live with myself if I had made any other choice?
"What's her name?" Ruthie asked, and she reached up to stroke the baby's cheek with a fingertip.
"I don't know." I looked up then, and met Ruthie's eyes. I felt something inside me shift, and I knew. I smiled and kissed my daughter's forehead. "Mykaela. Mykaela Claire Camden." He turned and held the baby out, offering her to Ruthie. "Meet your niece, Ruthie. Mykaela, meet aunt Ruthie."
I held Mykaela out a little, offering her to Ruthie. Ruthie took the baby in her arms and settled her against her chest. "Aunt Ruthie. I like the way that sounds."
"So do I."
"Daddy Simon might take a little more getting used to."
I felt dizzy suddenly, like the night I'd bee too drunk to walk straight. Daddy. That single word spiraled in my mind, twisting and turning, tumbling, rolling, filling me. I took several deep breaths to clear my head.
"Daddy...I'm a daddy..." I stumbled backward onto my bed and sat with a heavy thump.
"And your towels are wet. Lucky for you I know where Mom put the bottles and cloth diapers she had for Sam and David. Here. Take her and I'll be right back." Ruthie handed the baby back to me and disappeared, Happy chasing her heels.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End REVISED chapter 1. Pretty much the same as the original chapter, only now told in first person POV because I realised getting into Simon's head would be a better way to go. So I hope you enjoyed it!