Simon's Choice
Chapter 2/??
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 2: Telling Mom And Dad
I was dreaming, had to be dreaming. No way this could be real. I could not be sitting in my bed, cradling a newborn baby, my daughter, with my sister Ruthie curled up asleep beside me.
I knew it was real, and it was my life. I just couldn't tell if it would be a dream or a night mare.
I owed Ruthie. Big time. I would never have made it through the night without her. She had helped me feed the baby. She had showed me how to work the cloth diapers, which were actually burp cloths, but fit Mykaela perfectly around the middle. Mykaela. I had named her the first name that popped into my head when Ruthie asked. Mykaela had been a little girl in my third grade class. She died in a car accident just after Christmas that year. I had always liked that name, Mykaela.
Mykaela Claire Camden. Camden. My name. My daughter.
I thought of Mykaela's mother and wondered what she would think of all this. I wasn't sure. She had trusted me to take her baby to a safe place. She couldn't keep the baby because her parents would never understand and she said more than once her father would kill her if he knew she had a baby at all. She said she just wanted her child to have a fair chance. She wouldn't have a chance at all with Claire, once Claire's father found out.
She said she didn't want to keep the baby, but the sadness in her eyes betrayed her words. I would just have to convince her I had made the best choice. I imagined she would be angry and upset at first, but once I explained...She would understand. I could give the baby a chance. A damn good chance. My parents were God-loving people. My father worked for God, spreading His word, and His love. He could not refuse to help an innocent baby. And I could do anything, with his parent's support.
I just had to tell them first.
I glanced at the clock. Ten before six. They would just be getting up. I needed to tell them now, before the other kids were up demanding attention.
I eased myself out of the bed, cradling Mykaela protectively. "Come on, sweetness. Let's go meet Granny and Grandpa. Don't be nervous, honey. They're going to love you."
"Simon? What time is it?" Ruthie asked, her words thick with sleep.
I rest my alarm clock, because Ruthie doesn't have to get up until quarter after. "Almost six. Go back to sleep."
I slipped out of the room before Ruthie could say more. With a little luck she would fall back into sleep until the alarm woke her.
My parent's bedroom door loomed ahead of me like a beacon. I thought of a light house light, signaling out to ships that land was near.
I tried not to think of how they would react, because I just didn't know what to expect. My brother Matt had done some crazy things over the years, but nothing like this. The closest Matt came to a baby was sleeping on a pregnant friend's couch one night, the first night he didn't come home. Then there was the pregnant girl who stole his car, but he never once claimed a baby was his.
That would be the hardest part. Looking them in the eye, telling them Mykaela is my daughter. I remembered how upset they were when they thought Matt and Sarah were having sex before they were married. They raised to respect our bodies and wait for marriage. I had to make them believe I didn't wait, because they would never let me keep Mykaela if they thought she wasn't mine.
Maybe they would let Kevin move into the attic with Lucy, then I could have the garage apartment with Claire and the baby. Claire said she didn't want the baby, but I knew that wasn't true. She was scared. Her father...her father would kill her, she said. I knew she didn't mean literally kill her, but he also know all parents were not as wonderful, calm, and understanding as mine.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, no point waiting any longer. "Come in," my mother's voice called.
I smiled at the sleeping baby in my arms, reassuring myself. "This is it, honey. No turning back now. I hope you're ready." I whispered and pushed the door open.
My mother sat up in the bed, looking expectantly at the door. Seeing me, she started to smile. Seeing the baby in my arms, her face went blank. "Simon?"
"Mom, I want you to meet your grand daughter. Mykaela." The words fell out of my mouth. Simply. Easily.
She stared at me, her jaw slack with shock. After a moment she blinked and swallowed and pushed a hand through her hair. "What do you mean?"
"Annie? Simon?" My dad came in from the bathroom. Seeing the baby, he stopped mid-step, stared at me with a look as if he thought he recognized me but couldn't quite place who I was in his mind. "Simon?" The word, my name, sounded foreign on his lips.
I looked at my father, then back to hold my mother's gaze. The Reverend Eric Camden and his wife Annie. My parents. They looked like total strangers to me.
My father would go along with Mom, whatever she said. I had to appeal to her first. "This is Mykaela. She was born last night." I offered the explanation and stepped closer to them.
"Where did you find her?" Dad asked, stepping closer.
I felt the air around me thicken. What would they say? What would they do when I told them? I didn't expect instant acceptance. Just...maybe...their love and support. The rest would come later.
"I didn't find her. She's my daughter."
I wouldn't have thought it possible, but their faces went more blank. Wide eyed, as Ruthie had been last night when she'd first realised I had a baby.
"Your d...d...daughter?" my parents said in perfect harmony, something only twenty-some years of marriage and seven kids could create. Seven kids and now one grand child.
I nodded. What could I say to ease the blow? What could I say to make them love her unconditionally? Not 'I'm sorry, it only happened once and I didn't mean for it to happen at all'. Probably better not to bring that aspect of it up, unless they did.
I didn't have to say anything. Mom reached up to touch Mykaela's arm. "Where is her mother?"
"She's scared. She doesn't think her parents would understand."
"Simon, you know you can't..." Dad started.
I cut him off. I didn't want to hear what I couldn't do. With their support I could do anything. Even something as crazy as this. "Can't what, Dad? Don't tell me I can't keep her. I have to keep her. She's my daughter. I have to keep her."
"It's not that simple," Mom interjected.
"Yes. It is," I shot back, my voice a little more harsh than I intended. I didn't care. I had to get my point across and harshness just might do it since I almost never raised my voice to my parents. "She's my daughter. I'm keeping her. I thought you guys would support that. I'm taking responsibility. I'm doing the right thing."
"Simon..."
"No. Mom, Dad. Listen to me. I'm keeping her. I'm going to raise her. I hope you will support me, and her, because it's going to be hard enough as it is. I need you. Mykaela needs you."
Mom looked down, picked at a lint ball on her blanket. "The girl who called you last night? The one who was in trouble?" She asked.
"She couldn't go to a hospital, Mom. She is afraid of her father. Her parents didn't even know she was pregnant. She would have to give the baby up. She didn't even tell me because she was afraid I would tell you and then her parents would find out. I couldn't...when she was born and I held her..."
"It's not your baby, is it, Simon?" My mother's voice trembled. I knew she wanted it to be true, she wanted me to tell her the baby wasn't mine. She didn't want to think one of her kids had...messed up.
I took a deep breath, held it for a few tense seconds. I blocked out the hurt I saw in my mother's eyes, in my father's expression. I had to think about Mykaela now. Always Mykaela first from here on out. "Yes." I said, more clam than I expected. "It is. She is. Do you want to hold her?" I held the baby out for my mother to take her. Mykaela settled against Mom's breast as if she was made to fit there.
I felt like he was watching a replay of someone else's life. A movie, a TV show. Anything but reality. Everything was happening too fast. Way too fast.
But Mykaela would be my daughter. She already was, in all the ways that mattered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter 2. I like this version so much better than the other. Please met me know what you think. Thanks!
Chapter 2/??
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 2: Telling Mom And Dad
I was dreaming, had to be dreaming. No way this could be real. I could not be sitting in my bed, cradling a newborn baby, my daughter, with my sister Ruthie curled up asleep beside me.
I knew it was real, and it was my life. I just couldn't tell if it would be a dream or a night mare.
I owed Ruthie. Big time. I would never have made it through the night without her. She had helped me feed the baby. She had showed me how to work the cloth diapers, which were actually burp cloths, but fit Mykaela perfectly around the middle. Mykaela. I had named her the first name that popped into my head when Ruthie asked. Mykaela had been a little girl in my third grade class. She died in a car accident just after Christmas that year. I had always liked that name, Mykaela.
Mykaela Claire Camden. Camden. My name. My daughter.
I thought of Mykaela's mother and wondered what she would think of all this. I wasn't sure. She had trusted me to take her baby to a safe place. She couldn't keep the baby because her parents would never understand and she said more than once her father would kill her if he knew she had a baby at all. She said she just wanted her child to have a fair chance. She wouldn't have a chance at all with Claire, once Claire's father found out.
She said she didn't want to keep the baby, but the sadness in her eyes betrayed her words. I would just have to convince her I had made the best choice. I imagined she would be angry and upset at first, but once I explained...She would understand. I could give the baby a chance. A damn good chance. My parents were God-loving people. My father worked for God, spreading His word, and His love. He could not refuse to help an innocent baby. And I could do anything, with his parent's support.
I just had to tell them first.
I glanced at the clock. Ten before six. They would just be getting up. I needed to tell them now, before the other kids were up demanding attention.
I eased myself out of the bed, cradling Mykaela protectively. "Come on, sweetness. Let's go meet Granny and Grandpa. Don't be nervous, honey. They're going to love you."
"Simon? What time is it?" Ruthie asked, her words thick with sleep.
I rest my alarm clock, because Ruthie doesn't have to get up until quarter after. "Almost six. Go back to sleep."
I slipped out of the room before Ruthie could say more. With a little luck she would fall back into sleep until the alarm woke her.
My parent's bedroom door loomed ahead of me like a beacon. I thought of a light house light, signaling out to ships that land was near.
I tried not to think of how they would react, because I just didn't know what to expect. My brother Matt had done some crazy things over the years, but nothing like this. The closest Matt came to a baby was sleeping on a pregnant friend's couch one night, the first night he didn't come home. Then there was the pregnant girl who stole his car, but he never once claimed a baby was his.
That would be the hardest part. Looking them in the eye, telling them Mykaela is my daughter. I remembered how upset they were when they thought Matt and Sarah were having sex before they were married. They raised to respect our bodies and wait for marriage. I had to make them believe I didn't wait, because they would never let me keep Mykaela if they thought she wasn't mine.
Maybe they would let Kevin move into the attic with Lucy, then I could have the garage apartment with Claire and the baby. Claire said she didn't want the baby, but I knew that wasn't true. She was scared. Her father...her father would kill her, she said. I knew she didn't mean literally kill her, but he also know all parents were not as wonderful, calm, and understanding as mine.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, no point waiting any longer. "Come in," my mother's voice called.
I smiled at the sleeping baby in my arms, reassuring myself. "This is it, honey. No turning back now. I hope you're ready." I whispered and pushed the door open.
My mother sat up in the bed, looking expectantly at the door. Seeing me, she started to smile. Seeing the baby in my arms, her face went blank. "Simon?"
"Mom, I want you to meet your grand daughter. Mykaela." The words fell out of my mouth. Simply. Easily.
She stared at me, her jaw slack with shock. After a moment she blinked and swallowed and pushed a hand through her hair. "What do you mean?"
"Annie? Simon?" My dad came in from the bathroom. Seeing the baby, he stopped mid-step, stared at me with a look as if he thought he recognized me but couldn't quite place who I was in his mind. "Simon?" The word, my name, sounded foreign on his lips.
I looked at my father, then back to hold my mother's gaze. The Reverend Eric Camden and his wife Annie. My parents. They looked like total strangers to me.
My father would go along with Mom, whatever she said. I had to appeal to her first. "This is Mykaela. She was born last night." I offered the explanation and stepped closer to them.
"Where did you find her?" Dad asked, stepping closer.
I felt the air around me thicken. What would they say? What would they do when I told them? I didn't expect instant acceptance. Just...maybe...their love and support. The rest would come later.
"I didn't find her. She's my daughter."
I wouldn't have thought it possible, but their faces went more blank. Wide eyed, as Ruthie had been last night when she'd first realised I had a baby.
"Your d...d...daughter?" my parents said in perfect harmony, something only twenty-some years of marriage and seven kids could create. Seven kids and now one grand child.
I nodded. What could I say to ease the blow? What could I say to make them love her unconditionally? Not 'I'm sorry, it only happened once and I didn't mean for it to happen at all'. Probably better not to bring that aspect of it up, unless they did.
I didn't have to say anything. Mom reached up to touch Mykaela's arm. "Where is her mother?"
"She's scared. She doesn't think her parents would understand."
"Simon, you know you can't..." Dad started.
I cut him off. I didn't want to hear what I couldn't do. With their support I could do anything. Even something as crazy as this. "Can't what, Dad? Don't tell me I can't keep her. I have to keep her. She's my daughter. I have to keep her."
"It's not that simple," Mom interjected.
"Yes. It is," I shot back, my voice a little more harsh than I intended. I didn't care. I had to get my point across and harshness just might do it since I almost never raised my voice to my parents. "She's my daughter. I'm keeping her. I thought you guys would support that. I'm taking responsibility. I'm doing the right thing."
"Simon..."
"No. Mom, Dad. Listen to me. I'm keeping her. I'm going to raise her. I hope you will support me, and her, because it's going to be hard enough as it is. I need you. Mykaela needs you."
Mom looked down, picked at a lint ball on her blanket. "The girl who called you last night? The one who was in trouble?" She asked.
"She couldn't go to a hospital, Mom. She is afraid of her father. Her parents didn't even know she was pregnant. She would have to give the baby up. She didn't even tell me because she was afraid I would tell you and then her parents would find out. I couldn't...when she was born and I held her..."
"It's not your baby, is it, Simon?" My mother's voice trembled. I knew she wanted it to be true, she wanted me to tell her the baby wasn't mine. She didn't want to think one of her kids had...messed up.
I took a deep breath, held it for a few tense seconds. I blocked out the hurt I saw in my mother's eyes, in my father's expression. I had to think about Mykaela now. Always Mykaela first from here on out. "Yes." I said, more clam than I expected. "It is. She is. Do you want to hold her?" I held the baby out for my mother to take her. Mykaela settled against Mom's breast as if she was made to fit there.
I felt like he was watching a replay of someone else's life. A movie, a TV show. Anything but reality. Everything was happening too fast. Way too fast.
But Mykaela would be my daughter. She already was, in all the ways that mattered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End chapter 2. I like this version so much better than the other. Please met me know what you think. Thanks!