Simon's Choice
Chapter 3/??
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 3: The Decision
My mother caressed the gentle slope of Mykaela's nose. "Simon," She started and I knew by the concerned tone that I was about to get a lecture. "You don't even have your own head on straight. You can barely take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of a baby?"
I took a deep breath and looked at her. My mother holding my baby. How could she refuse to help me? How could she look at that precious little girl in her arms and refuse? "I'll manage, Mom. Don't you understand? I have to. She's my responsibility now. I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever she needs."
"It's not that easy, Simon. Babies are a lot of work, a huge responsibility. It's not just about caring for them. You have to love them and nurture them and they need all your attention and more energy that you can spare."
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, glancing from Mom to Dad sitting silent next to her. Did they think I didn't know babies were a huge responsibility? I wanted to be holding her. She was my bargaining chip, the reason I was there, in their bedroom, doing this. All for her.
Everything for her. For Mykaela. "I know, Mom. I've been thinking about it all night. And I want to do it."
"Simon..."
"I know. You hate to see me sacrifice my life. But I don't think it is a sacrifice. She is my life now. She's the only thing that matters."
"You don't mean that." Dad whispered. He wanted to be in counselor mode, I could tell, but he wouldn't try to take over. Mom would have her say, and that would be the end of it.
"You have your whole life ahead of you. You're too young..." Mom chimed in, finishing Dad's thoughts.
"Yes, I know. And I do mean it." I wrung his hands together. "My feelings are no different than a mother who just had a baby. I love her. I will do anything for her. Anything. I'm young, I know. And I didn't carry her in my body for nine months, but she is a part of me and...she's my daughter. She's my life."
My mother sighed. I wasn't sure how much more she could take. "Okay. You made your point." She said softly. "Your father and I will talk about it and make a decision before you come home from school."
"You have to let me keep her. Please, Mom."
"Your father and I will talk about it. Go get ready for school." I knew arguing the point further would only make things worse for me. I had to leave, get ready for school, and pray my parents didn't take my baby away before I came home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I struggled through the day, thinking always of Mykaela, wondering what she was doing at any given moment, unable to focus on my school work. Simon Camden, the preacher's boy, the doo-gooder...a father at sixteen. The rumors would spread like wild fire, until everyone in school knew. No one knew yet. Not even Claire.
Claire. I hadn't seen her all day. Dear God, I hoped she was okay. If her parents found out and were as upset as she thought they would be...
She had give birth in a phone booth less than 24 hours earlier. No doctors, no nurses. Just Claire, the baby, and me. I had delivered the baby, there had been no one else. And I had fallen in love with her at the first trembling cry.
She was my daughter, if not by blood, in all the ways that truly mattered. She belonged to me, as I belonged to her.
I would never forgive my parents if they made me give her up. Never.
They wouldn't. They couldn't. I would run away. There were shelters for unwed mothers, there should be a place I could go. Unwed fathers. I almost laughed at the idea. Most guys would deny fathering a child at sixteen, and here I was claiming a child that wasn't even mine, willing to give up my life and my dreams and maybe even my family for her.
She would be my family.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My mother met me in the kitchen after school. The house seemed deathly quiet. Too quiet to have a baby and twin toddlers inside. But the boys were usually down for their nap when I got home from school and Mykaela should be sleeping too. Babies sleep a lot.
Mom gave a slight smile. I couldn't read it. Mom has always been good at hiding her emotions. "Your father and I made a decision."
I nodded, tears already pushing at the back of my eyes.
"Mykaela will sleep in your room. You can have one of the cribs from the attic, car seats, and the changing table. Everything else you pay for. Food, clothes, diapers. Everything. She is your responsibility, Simon."
I took a deep breath and with it the tears found release. Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of fear. I was sixteen years old, and I was a father. Mykaela was mine. My daughter. My responsibility.
"Where is she?"
"In your room. Your father and I put the crib together for her. You might want to thank us."
I was halfway up the stairs before my mother finished. Sure I would thank them, later. After I held my daughter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A little while later, a knock on my bedroom door startled me. I almost resented the intrusion, but seeing Ruthie I smiled and the resistance faded.
"Hey."
"Hi. Mom wants a family meeting."
I groaned. "A family meeting? Why?"
"So you can introduce Mykaela."
I dreaded it, but what choice did I have? I changed Mykaela's diaper then followed Ruthie downstairs. I felt like Daniel walking into the Lion's Den. They were all staring at me, Lucy on the sofa between Kevin and Ben, Mom and Dad shared the over sized chair with the twins playing with trucks at their feet, and Robbie sat by himself.
I knew they expected me to say something, and I wanted to say something really brilliant, but I didn't know where to start. How could I tell them anything when my nerves felt so jumbled up they must be tied in knots?
Ruthie stood beside me and reached for my hand.
I took a deep breath. "This is Mykaela. She was born last night. Her mother is afraid her parents will be upset if they find out. So I brought her home and I'm going to raise her." Hardly the brilliant speech I had hoped for.
Lucy stood up and stepped closer to us. She smiled, though the smile didn't reach her eyes. She looked over her shoulder at Kevin, and Kevin smiled. Then she reached out to touch Mykaela's face. "Can I hold her?"
"Of course." My arms felt empty when Lucy took Mykaela. Ruthie squeezed my hand. I looked down at her and tried to smile.
Kevin and Ben exchanged tense glances, and Robbie seemed fascinated by the spot on the floor in front of him. No one said anything about the fact I must have had sex, but their faces and the way the wouldn't look at me said it all. They were thinking it. They were shocked. Mary would do something like this, and probably had. No one would ever have thought I would do something so foolish.
"She's really sweet, Simon." Lucy offered the baby to Kevin. They would make a cute family one day, if Kevin ever got around to asking Lucy to marry him. Kevin took the baby and kissed her forehead. Mykaela kicked her little arms.
Ruthie squeezed my hand again and I suddenly felt like crying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter three (and a little of the original chapter 4 for those of you who read it before I got this wild hair and decided to rewrite it. Thanks for hanging in there!). Also includes new material. I hope you are enjoying the read. Please R/R, don't be shy! I want to know what you think! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)
Chapter 3/??
A 7th Heaven Fan Fic by Lucky Star
Chapter 3: The Decision
My mother caressed the gentle slope of Mykaela's nose. "Simon," She started and I knew by the concerned tone that I was about to get a lecture. "You don't even have your own head on straight. You can barely take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of a baby?"
I took a deep breath and looked at her. My mother holding my baby. How could she refuse to help me? How could she look at that precious little girl in her arms and refuse? "I'll manage, Mom. Don't you understand? I have to. She's my responsibility now. I'll do whatever it takes. Whatever she needs."
"It's not that easy, Simon. Babies are a lot of work, a huge responsibility. It's not just about caring for them. You have to love them and nurture them and they need all your attention and more energy that you can spare."
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, glancing from Mom to Dad sitting silent next to her. Did they think I didn't know babies were a huge responsibility? I wanted to be holding her. She was my bargaining chip, the reason I was there, in their bedroom, doing this. All for her.
Everything for her. For Mykaela. "I know, Mom. I've been thinking about it all night. And I want to do it."
"Simon..."
"I know. You hate to see me sacrifice my life. But I don't think it is a sacrifice. She is my life now. She's the only thing that matters."
"You don't mean that." Dad whispered. He wanted to be in counselor mode, I could tell, but he wouldn't try to take over. Mom would have her say, and that would be the end of it.
"You have your whole life ahead of you. You're too young..." Mom chimed in, finishing Dad's thoughts.
"Yes, I know. And I do mean it." I wrung his hands together. "My feelings are no different than a mother who just had a baby. I love her. I will do anything for her. Anything. I'm young, I know. And I didn't carry her in my body for nine months, but she is a part of me and...she's my daughter. She's my life."
My mother sighed. I wasn't sure how much more she could take. "Okay. You made your point." She said softly. "Your father and I will talk about it and make a decision before you come home from school."
"You have to let me keep her. Please, Mom."
"Your father and I will talk about it. Go get ready for school." I knew arguing the point further would only make things worse for me. I had to leave, get ready for school, and pray my parents didn't take my baby away before I came home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I struggled through the day, thinking always of Mykaela, wondering what she was doing at any given moment, unable to focus on my school work. Simon Camden, the preacher's boy, the doo-gooder...a father at sixteen. The rumors would spread like wild fire, until everyone in school knew. No one knew yet. Not even Claire.
Claire. I hadn't seen her all day. Dear God, I hoped she was okay. If her parents found out and were as upset as she thought they would be...
She had give birth in a phone booth less than 24 hours earlier. No doctors, no nurses. Just Claire, the baby, and me. I had delivered the baby, there had been no one else. And I had fallen in love with her at the first trembling cry.
She was my daughter, if not by blood, in all the ways that truly mattered. She belonged to me, as I belonged to her.
I would never forgive my parents if they made me give her up. Never.
They wouldn't. They couldn't. I would run away. There were shelters for unwed mothers, there should be a place I could go. Unwed fathers. I almost laughed at the idea. Most guys would deny fathering a child at sixteen, and here I was claiming a child that wasn't even mine, willing to give up my life and my dreams and maybe even my family for her.
She would be my family.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My mother met me in the kitchen after school. The house seemed deathly quiet. Too quiet to have a baby and twin toddlers inside. But the boys were usually down for their nap when I got home from school and Mykaela should be sleeping too. Babies sleep a lot.
Mom gave a slight smile. I couldn't read it. Mom has always been good at hiding her emotions. "Your father and I made a decision."
I nodded, tears already pushing at the back of my eyes.
"Mykaela will sleep in your room. You can have one of the cribs from the attic, car seats, and the changing table. Everything else you pay for. Food, clothes, diapers. Everything. She is your responsibility, Simon."
I took a deep breath and with it the tears found release. Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of fear. I was sixteen years old, and I was a father. Mykaela was mine. My daughter. My responsibility.
"Where is she?"
"In your room. Your father and I put the crib together for her. You might want to thank us."
I was halfway up the stairs before my mother finished. Sure I would thank them, later. After I held my daughter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A little while later, a knock on my bedroom door startled me. I almost resented the intrusion, but seeing Ruthie I smiled and the resistance faded.
"Hey."
"Hi. Mom wants a family meeting."
I groaned. "A family meeting? Why?"
"So you can introduce Mykaela."
I dreaded it, but what choice did I have? I changed Mykaela's diaper then followed Ruthie downstairs. I felt like Daniel walking into the Lion's Den. They were all staring at me, Lucy on the sofa between Kevin and Ben, Mom and Dad shared the over sized chair with the twins playing with trucks at their feet, and Robbie sat by himself.
I knew they expected me to say something, and I wanted to say something really brilliant, but I didn't know where to start. How could I tell them anything when my nerves felt so jumbled up they must be tied in knots?
Ruthie stood beside me and reached for my hand.
I took a deep breath. "This is Mykaela. She was born last night. Her mother is afraid her parents will be upset if they find out. So I brought her home and I'm going to raise her." Hardly the brilliant speech I had hoped for.
Lucy stood up and stepped closer to us. She smiled, though the smile didn't reach her eyes. She looked over her shoulder at Kevin, and Kevin smiled. Then she reached out to touch Mykaela's face. "Can I hold her?"
"Of course." My arms felt empty when Lucy took Mykaela. Ruthie squeezed my hand. I looked down at her and tried to smile.
Kevin and Ben exchanged tense glances, and Robbie seemed fascinated by the spot on the floor in front of him. No one said anything about the fact I must have had sex, but their faces and the way the wouldn't look at me said it all. They were thinking it. They were shocked. Mary would do something like this, and probably had. No one would ever have thought I would do something so foolish.
"She's really sweet, Simon." Lucy offered the baby to Kevin. They would make a cute family one day, if Kevin ever got around to asking Lucy to marry him. Kevin took the baby and kissed her forehead. Mykaela kicked her little arms.
Ruthie squeezed my hand again and I suddenly felt like crying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
End chapter three (and a little of the original chapter 4 for those of you who read it before I got this wild hair and decided to rewrite it. Thanks for hanging in there!). Also includes new material. I hope you are enjoying the read. Please R/R, don't be shy! I want to know what you think! Lucky Star (JjsLuckyStar@aol.com)