"§ July 28, 195 AC §
§I look back and read my entries before this day, and at times it just makes me laugh. I was like that? It sounded so much more like a child's writing. Then again, I guess that is what I was, nothing much more than a child. I only use this journal now out of habit and because it was a gift, especially since it was from Relena. I still care for her, but until this damned war is brought to an end, these feelings within me must be hidden.
After the shock of Trowa's injury, we heard word from Wufei that all was well and that he would only need great amounts of rest. Though this isn't surprising in the least, considering that the large wooden booth nearly crushed his spinal cord, gashing open his lower, left side. He'd lost a great amount of blood, but with that wound and the incompetence of the surrounding spectators, a lot could have been stopped and he, helped sooner. Yet he's still alive and is healing now, all to much great thanks.
Maybe the rest of the circus people here can also see past their blinding ignorance and realize how wrong they are. I spoke with them, wait, that isn't a void word. I spoke with my hands, for I cannot speak with my voice any longer. During the last capture, I'd gone through hell and thankfully, I still don't remember a lot of it and I don't wish to. Yet, my vocal chords were destroyed purposely and now I am nothing more than a mute pilot. A lot of help I'll be in battle.
I hope that they can see how wrong they are to shun one of their family just because of who he is. None of us chose to battle in this war, we don't want to. Yet we have to.
Maybe things could have been different if the war had never occurred. I might have known my real name, my birthday, maybe a family with a brother or sister. I might have known who I really am. But then, this did happen, and I am different because of it. Maybe I'm also wrong. I am who I am whether or not this war occurred. And I do have a family, one of which I'm very grateful of. Yet I also just lost one member.
I remembered Faith, most of the rest of the time I was in the childish state is still hazy. The last time I wrote, it was the day of my capture. I recall being terrified, and then seeing the young greyhound lying on the couch in her own blood, whimpering softly. When I awoke in the hospital after everything happened again, I was slowly told what had occurred to me. When we came back to Cathrine's trailer though, that's when it truly hit me. I'd asked Trowa, and he'd told me that she'd bled to death, but they'd buried her in a beautiful and tranquil area near a crystal clear lake. At least she's at peace.
I looked back again and reread this, and I still can't help but compare my earlier ramblings to this. A vast difference stands between them.
I grow weary and Duo's making things harder for himself than they ever need be. I depart for now."
§I look back and read my entries before this day, and at times it just makes me laugh. I was like that? It sounded so much more like a child's writing. Then again, I guess that is what I was, nothing much more than a child. I only use this journal now out of habit and because it was a gift, especially since it was from Relena. I still care for her, but until this damned war is brought to an end, these feelings within me must be hidden.
After the shock of Trowa's injury, we heard word from Wufei that all was well and that he would only need great amounts of rest. Though this isn't surprising in the least, considering that the large wooden booth nearly crushed his spinal cord, gashing open his lower, left side. He'd lost a great amount of blood, but with that wound and the incompetence of the surrounding spectators, a lot could have been stopped and he, helped sooner. Yet he's still alive and is healing now, all to much great thanks.
Maybe the rest of the circus people here can also see past their blinding ignorance and realize how wrong they are. I spoke with them, wait, that isn't a void word. I spoke with my hands, for I cannot speak with my voice any longer. During the last capture, I'd gone through hell and thankfully, I still don't remember a lot of it and I don't wish to. Yet, my vocal chords were destroyed purposely and now I am nothing more than a mute pilot. A lot of help I'll be in battle.
I hope that they can see how wrong they are to shun one of their family just because of who he is. None of us chose to battle in this war, we don't want to. Yet we have to.
Maybe things could have been different if the war had never occurred. I might have known my real name, my birthday, maybe a family with a brother or sister. I might have known who I really am. But then, this did happen, and I am different because of it. Maybe I'm also wrong. I am who I am whether or not this war occurred. And I do have a family, one of which I'm very grateful of. Yet I also just lost one member.
I remembered Faith, most of the rest of the time I was in the childish state is still hazy. The last time I wrote, it was the day of my capture. I recall being terrified, and then seeing the young greyhound lying on the couch in her own blood, whimpering softly. When I awoke in the hospital after everything happened again, I was slowly told what had occurred to me. When we came back to Cathrine's trailer though, that's when it truly hit me. I'd asked Trowa, and he'd told me that she'd bled to death, but they'd buried her in a beautiful and tranquil area near a crystal clear lake. At least she's at peace.
I looked back again and reread this, and I still can't help but compare my earlier ramblings to this. A vast difference stands between them.
I grow weary and Duo's making things harder for himself than they ever need be. I depart for now."