Weekend at Tomoe's 2
Chapter 2(as an hour challenge!)
The new 'Tomoe', with half her deranged brother's brain, acted quite a bit more
homicidal than the original Tomoe. She was in the habit of slicing heads of servants
with little notice. Enishi, with half his brain left, pondered the change in his dear sister
and came up with his usual conclusion that it was the Battousai's fault.
Enishi pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose at his attempt to look
cool and attract hordes of screaming fan girls. He learned the glasses technique from a
strange blonde haired man in a red coat, but that of course is another story. The nightly
parties the strange priest AhStin PohWa threw every night gave him a serious migraine,
which was intensified, by the half-empty brain cavity he now had acting like a miniature
amphitheatre. Enishi looked at his large 'reasons for revenge' list he wrote throughout
the years and came up with a brilliant solution to the immediate problem. He folded his
list (which was the thickness of a Harry Potter novel) and jammed it in through his ear.
Enishi, under order of his sister (most likely under the influence of half his own
brain), wrote a copy of the revenge list for the last several nights. Enishi made a fist and
felt a tight ache in his hand and noticed the beginning or arthritis. Writing the occasional
(most likely daily) infraction on his life due to the Battousai was not as taxing as writing
a couple hundred in the space of a few hours.
Unluckily for the mad priest, he chose that moment to annoy Enishi. "Hey,
Enishi! Want to help me pick up some swinging chicks, baby?" the mad priest in his
brightly colored robes said. Enishi decided he would end the insanity of this cameo once
and for all and unsheathed his wattou. The mad priest AhStin PohWa ran for his life and
jumped into a strange metallic machine that sat on rubber wheels. He pressed a few
buttons and shouted, "I'm out of this crazy fic! Going back to my own series in my
shagadelic Pimpmobile! YEAH BABY!" and in a bright flash, both the mad priest and
the strange vehicle disappeared.
Enishi sighed in relief and turned to see Tomoe dressed in another set of his
Chinese clothes. Enishi immediately ran and hugged his sister, the force of his charge
knocking her top half clean off. Tomoe's upper torso muttered as she used her arms to
reattach herself back onto her lower body. "Idiotic brother stuck half his brain in my
skull, then his brain bathed and dressed me when I was sleeping and now he knocks me
to pieces." Tomoe's upper torso fit snugly with a suction sound and ensured the top half
would stay on, at least until someone gave her a strong shove again. Then she noticed
Enishi giving her a large hug. "Hey, stop that now" Tomoe said in a monotone voice.
"When do I get to see Himura?"
Enishi smiled viciously and stated "We will start our Jinchuu against the
Battousai tomorrow! At last we shall have our revenge! BWAHAHAHA!" Tomoe
smacked her idiot brother in the back of the head.
"I do not want to have revenge against Himura. In fact, I want to resume the
marriage." Tomoe stated, once again monotone (she barely has other tones, people!).
Tomoe then started to shake her head as if a migraine was coming and her expression
changed. "Do not listen to her. The decade of death has made her delirious! Do not
worry, other half of my brain, when the time comes, I will ensure dear sister will do her
part!" Then she shook her head again and said in a softer tone "I will NOT hurt him, but
I DO agree SHE has to die."
"Ah yes, your 'replacement', that violent sweaty girl. She must die,
BWAHAHAHAHA! Of course, my doctor said because of my Oedipus complex,
whatever that is, I cannot kill 18 year old girls for some reason, so you must do it, dear
sister!" Enishi ranted as he hugged his sister closer to himself.
"How many times!" Tomoe, who started unsheathing her wattou, "DO I HAVE
TO TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!" she screamed, decapitating him. Tomoe
smiled at her decapitated brother and said "I can't believe I used to be in that skull,
revealing to Enishi he killed himself. Enishi's decapitated head rolled over to where the
revenge list was, and using his tongue slowly wrote the last entry he would make.
'#325: Made my half brain in control of my sister's body decapitates me.' And the head
then promptly died.
Tomoe looked over at her decapitated brother's body and shouted out "Hey,
Geinenstein! Here's a set of spare parts for you!" Geinenstein appeared immediately
and started examining the corpse for harvestation.
Enishi's half brain still had control of his elder sister's body, extremely sure she
didn't want to witness a bloody, decapitated corpse. Geinenstein poked and prodded the
body with minor comments. "Hmm, good muscle and bone structure," then he reached
down, "Hmm, this is bit too small for his height"
Tomoe saw where Geinenstein was reaching and screamed, outraged, "HEY,
DON'T REACH DOWN THERE!" Geinenstein continued his examination and then
turned to Tomoe.
"I'll offer you 200 yen for the whole thing."
"SOLD!" With that, Geinenstein left the mansion, towing behind him Enishi's
decapitated body. Tomoe sat alone in the mansion, most of the wait staff dead or fled.
After mopping up the blood and throwing the decapitated head into the compost heap,
Enishi's half brain gave control back to Tomoe. "Tomorrow, we shall go and see
Himura again" Tomoe said, barely able to control her excitement(although its hard to tell
she's excited from the monotone). "But I think that Kamiya girl should die first" In her
head, she could hear Enishi's side agreeing enthusiastically. Tomoe sat watching the
sunset when her arms, not under her control, drifted up, palms outstretched. Tomoe
looked down and saw her hands touching herself and said, "Stop that, dear brother."
***
Heh, that's Chapter 2 of the Not-So-Divine Comedy. First off, been getting a few e-
mails and negative responses. THIS IS A PARADY! I am writing it in response to all
the 'Tomoe shows up at the dojo' fics. It's a bad clich‚, and all this fic does is play off
it, while being as zany as possible. First off, I DO NOT dislike Tomoe(although the
Tomoe fans that say "Die violent girl" annoy the hell outta me), but Enishi annoys me.
The guy's basically scum. I'd like to thank Steven "The Nightman" Cornett for being a sounding
board/ suggestion maker. Opps, that's all I can have in the footnote!
Chapter 2(as an hour challenge!)
The new 'Tomoe', with half her deranged brother's brain, acted quite a bit more
homicidal than the original Tomoe. She was in the habit of slicing heads of servants
with little notice. Enishi, with half his brain left, pondered the change in his dear sister
and came up with his usual conclusion that it was the Battousai's fault.
Enishi pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose at his attempt to look
cool and attract hordes of screaming fan girls. He learned the glasses technique from a
strange blonde haired man in a red coat, but that of course is another story. The nightly
parties the strange priest AhStin PohWa threw every night gave him a serious migraine,
which was intensified, by the half-empty brain cavity he now had acting like a miniature
amphitheatre. Enishi looked at his large 'reasons for revenge' list he wrote throughout
the years and came up with a brilliant solution to the immediate problem. He folded his
list (which was the thickness of a Harry Potter novel) and jammed it in through his ear.
Enishi, under order of his sister (most likely under the influence of half his own
brain), wrote a copy of the revenge list for the last several nights. Enishi made a fist and
felt a tight ache in his hand and noticed the beginning or arthritis. Writing the occasional
(most likely daily) infraction on his life due to the Battousai was not as taxing as writing
a couple hundred in the space of a few hours.
Unluckily for the mad priest, he chose that moment to annoy Enishi. "Hey,
Enishi! Want to help me pick up some swinging chicks, baby?" the mad priest in his
brightly colored robes said. Enishi decided he would end the insanity of this cameo once
and for all and unsheathed his wattou. The mad priest AhStin PohWa ran for his life and
jumped into a strange metallic machine that sat on rubber wheels. He pressed a few
buttons and shouted, "I'm out of this crazy fic! Going back to my own series in my
shagadelic Pimpmobile! YEAH BABY!" and in a bright flash, both the mad priest and
the strange vehicle disappeared.
Enishi sighed in relief and turned to see Tomoe dressed in another set of his
Chinese clothes. Enishi immediately ran and hugged his sister, the force of his charge
knocking her top half clean off. Tomoe's upper torso muttered as she used her arms to
reattach herself back onto her lower body. "Idiotic brother stuck half his brain in my
skull, then his brain bathed and dressed me when I was sleeping and now he knocks me
to pieces." Tomoe's upper torso fit snugly with a suction sound and ensured the top half
would stay on, at least until someone gave her a strong shove again. Then she noticed
Enishi giving her a large hug. "Hey, stop that now" Tomoe said in a monotone voice.
"When do I get to see Himura?"
Enishi smiled viciously and stated "We will start our Jinchuu against the
Battousai tomorrow! At last we shall have our revenge! BWAHAHAHA!" Tomoe
smacked her idiot brother in the back of the head.
"I do not want to have revenge against Himura. In fact, I want to resume the
marriage." Tomoe stated, once again monotone (she barely has other tones, people!).
Tomoe then started to shake her head as if a migraine was coming and her expression
changed. "Do not listen to her. The decade of death has made her delirious! Do not
worry, other half of my brain, when the time comes, I will ensure dear sister will do her
part!" Then she shook her head again and said in a softer tone "I will NOT hurt him, but
I DO agree SHE has to die."
"Ah yes, your 'replacement', that violent sweaty girl. She must die,
BWAHAHAHAHA! Of course, my doctor said because of my Oedipus complex,
whatever that is, I cannot kill 18 year old girls for some reason, so you must do it, dear
sister!" Enishi ranted as he hugged his sister closer to himself.
"How many times!" Tomoe, who started unsheathing her wattou, "DO I HAVE
TO TELL YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!" she screamed, decapitating him. Tomoe
smiled at her decapitated brother and said "I can't believe I used to be in that skull,
revealing to Enishi he killed himself. Enishi's decapitated head rolled over to where the
revenge list was, and using his tongue slowly wrote the last entry he would make.
'#325: Made my half brain in control of my sister's body decapitates me.' And the head
then promptly died.
Tomoe looked over at her decapitated brother's body and shouted out "Hey,
Geinenstein! Here's a set of spare parts for you!" Geinenstein appeared immediately
and started examining the corpse for harvestation.
Enishi's half brain still had control of his elder sister's body, extremely sure she
didn't want to witness a bloody, decapitated corpse. Geinenstein poked and prodded the
body with minor comments. "Hmm, good muscle and bone structure," then he reached
down, "Hmm, this is bit too small for his height"
Tomoe saw where Geinenstein was reaching and screamed, outraged, "HEY,
DON'T REACH DOWN THERE!" Geinenstein continued his examination and then
turned to Tomoe.
"I'll offer you 200 yen for the whole thing."
"SOLD!" With that, Geinenstein left the mansion, towing behind him Enishi's
decapitated body. Tomoe sat alone in the mansion, most of the wait staff dead or fled.
After mopping up the blood and throwing the decapitated head into the compost heap,
Enishi's half brain gave control back to Tomoe. "Tomorrow, we shall go and see
Himura again" Tomoe said, barely able to control her excitement(although its hard to tell
she's excited from the monotone). "But I think that Kamiya girl should die first" In her
head, she could hear Enishi's side agreeing enthusiastically. Tomoe sat watching the
sunset when her arms, not under her control, drifted up, palms outstretched. Tomoe
looked down and saw her hands touching herself and said, "Stop that, dear brother."
***
Heh, that's Chapter 2 of the Not-So-Divine Comedy. First off, been getting a few e-
mails and negative responses. THIS IS A PARADY! I am writing it in response to all
the 'Tomoe shows up at the dojo' fics. It's a bad clich‚, and all this fic does is play off
it, while being as zany as possible. First off, I DO NOT dislike Tomoe(although the
Tomoe fans that say "Die violent girl" annoy the hell outta me), but Enishi annoys me.
The guy's basically scum. I'd like to thank Steven "The Nightman" Cornett for being a sounding
board/ suggestion maker. Opps, that's all I can have in the footnote!