Weekend at Tomoe's 2
My 'not so divine' Parody returns! As I must point you, reading Jinchuu is a plus to get
the joke, plus reading the earlier chapters at my website!
Http://tanukitoryuu.anifics.com/
Chapter 3: "Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz"
Tomoe awoke early the next morning and saw in her hands a 'To Do' list her dear
brother's brain must have written for her during her slumber. As she glanced at the first
item on the list, she noticed her sleeping clothes were pushed around in strange ways.
"Well, it looks like 'dear brother' took care of the first item on his list," Tomoe mumbled
in her usual monotone. "Enishi, there are some things on this list I think we should
discuss, specifically the 'Killing Battousai and desecrating his corpse'. lines 10-45,"
"No!" Enishi screamed as he assumed control once again, "Those are VERY
IMPORTANT things to do today!"
"What about," Tomoe asked as she regained control of her body, "We still sell
battleships, then kill that Kamiya girl, and sleep with Kenshin?"
"NEVER!"
"Fine fine," Tomoe muttered, "We'll get all the way to line 9 and discuss it some
more afterwards,"
***
Kamiya Kaoru was in her dojo as she practiced her kenjutsu when suddenly a
strange woman dressed in chinese clothes bursted through the doors with a strange
chinese sword. "Kamiya Kaoru, prepare to die!" the strange woman yelled as she lunged
towards Kaoru.
"AHHH!" Kaoru screamed in surprised as she dodged the crazy woman's slash,
then sidestepped and whacked the woman across the shoulder with her bokken. The
strange woman's top half flew right off her body and landed on the other side of the dojo.
"EEEK! KENSHIN HELP!" Kaoru screamed as she examined her bokken to make sure
it didn't mystically transform into a katana.
"Just you wait, Kamiya Kaoru! I'll bite your ankles off!" the strange woman
yelled as she started to claw forward towards Kaoru. Just then Kenshin and Yahiko
entered the dojo.
"Kaoru-dono, what's the matter?" Kenshin asked as he entered the dojo, then he
saw both halves of Tomoe. "What the hell? Tomoe?"
"Himura!" Tomoe said in a happy monotone(does one exist?) "I wish to resume
our marriage," Tomoe's face then changed to a scowl, "And KILL YOU!"
"Oro? Being dead must have messed with your mind, Tomoe," Kenshin said
matter-of-factly. "What the heck is going on?"
"I can answer that," Shinomori Aoshi answered as he entered the dojo with
Misao. "Tomoe was brought back to life with the thanks of a mad grave robbing doctor
and a strange priest from the future who refuses to do cameos again. But there was a
problem with the procedure. They had to use half the brain of Tomoe's insane little
brother. Kamiya-San, you should want to step to the side," Aoshi said as Tomoe
reattached herself to her bottom half.
Kaoru stepped to the side as Tomoe's attack sailed through the spot she once
occupied. Kaoru then proceeded to whack off Tomoe's top half once again to the other
side of the dojo. "Umm, thanks Aoshi. How do you know all that?"
"I'm a ninja, plus I read through the story beforehand," Aoshi said with no
expression in his ice cold eyes.
"Isn't Aoshi-Sama cool?" Misao chirped.
"That Violent otemba must die!" Tomoe shouted. "She's trying to replace me
when she's a lousy cook, violent, abusive, and a crybaby!"
Kaoru looked at Tomoe like she grew a second head to support her murderous
lobe. "Me? Violent and abusive? Crybaby? Umm, maybe you are confusing me with
her?" Kaoru said as she pointed out the dojo door to the next cameo character, a strange
teenage japanese girl with short hair dressed in a gajin fashion.
"What was that?!?!" the nameless guest star shouted as she charged Kaoru and
whipped out what appeared to be a wooden hammer. "Eat my special mallet attack!"
Kaoru effortlessly blocked the girl's poor strike with her bokken.
"Its not a special attack, dear, it's a common anime/manga gag that's not original
to only you," Kaoru said to the strange girl. The strange girl's weapon disappeared in a
puff of smoke from Kaoru's words.
"Uh oh," The girl said now that her weapon disappeared. Kaoru whacked the
strange cameo guest star across the forehead with her bokken with enough force to
propell the girl out of the dojo.
"Now get out of my fic!" Kaoru shouted. "Geeze, crossover guest stars just can't
tell when they're unwanted," Kaoru turned her head towards Tomoe's upper torso as it
made its way back to its lower body to reattach itselt once again. "Kenshin, can you tell
your ex-wife to behave herself when she's at my dojo?"
"Alright, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said. "Tomoe, while you stay at this dojo, you
must not kill Kaoru-dono!"
"EX-wife? What do you mean, Kenshin?" Tomoe asked, confused as she
attached herself again.
"Well, 'till death do us part', Tomoe, and you DID die, thus I am a free agent,"
Kenshin said.
"What Himura speaks is the truth!" Misao said energetically. "We researched
such strange cases of the past lovers/girlfriends/wives coming back from the grave and
the past relationship is considered invalid in most cases! The most interesting case
involves a half-demon and this priestess and."
"Misao, this is neither the time or the place," Aoshi said. "In any case, Misao
and I will stay and make sure this new homicidal Tomoe will not cause anymore trouble
for the time being,"
***
Wow, there's Chapter 3! Isn't that insane? How many cameos did you catch?
My 'not so divine' Parody returns! As I must point you, reading Jinchuu is a plus to get
the joke, plus reading the earlier chapters at my website!
Http://tanukitoryuu.anifics.com/
Chapter 3: "Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz"
Tomoe awoke early the next morning and saw in her hands a 'To Do' list her dear
brother's brain must have written for her during her slumber. As she glanced at the first
item on the list, she noticed her sleeping clothes were pushed around in strange ways.
"Well, it looks like 'dear brother' took care of the first item on his list," Tomoe mumbled
in her usual monotone. "Enishi, there are some things on this list I think we should
discuss, specifically the 'Killing Battousai and desecrating his corpse'. lines 10-45,"
"No!" Enishi screamed as he assumed control once again, "Those are VERY
IMPORTANT things to do today!"
"What about," Tomoe asked as she regained control of her body, "We still sell
battleships, then kill that Kamiya girl, and sleep with Kenshin?"
"NEVER!"
"Fine fine," Tomoe muttered, "We'll get all the way to line 9 and discuss it some
more afterwards,"
***
Kamiya Kaoru was in her dojo as she practiced her kenjutsu when suddenly a
strange woman dressed in chinese clothes bursted through the doors with a strange
chinese sword. "Kamiya Kaoru, prepare to die!" the strange woman yelled as she lunged
towards Kaoru.
"AHHH!" Kaoru screamed in surprised as she dodged the crazy woman's slash,
then sidestepped and whacked the woman across the shoulder with her bokken. The
strange woman's top half flew right off her body and landed on the other side of the dojo.
"EEEK! KENSHIN HELP!" Kaoru screamed as she examined her bokken to make sure
it didn't mystically transform into a katana.
"Just you wait, Kamiya Kaoru! I'll bite your ankles off!" the strange woman
yelled as she started to claw forward towards Kaoru. Just then Kenshin and Yahiko
entered the dojo.
"Kaoru-dono, what's the matter?" Kenshin asked as he entered the dojo, then he
saw both halves of Tomoe. "What the hell? Tomoe?"
"Himura!" Tomoe said in a happy monotone(does one exist?) "I wish to resume
our marriage," Tomoe's face then changed to a scowl, "And KILL YOU!"
"Oro? Being dead must have messed with your mind, Tomoe," Kenshin said
matter-of-factly. "What the heck is going on?"
"I can answer that," Shinomori Aoshi answered as he entered the dojo with
Misao. "Tomoe was brought back to life with the thanks of a mad grave robbing doctor
and a strange priest from the future who refuses to do cameos again. But there was a
problem with the procedure. They had to use half the brain of Tomoe's insane little
brother. Kamiya-San, you should want to step to the side," Aoshi said as Tomoe
reattached herself to her bottom half.
Kaoru stepped to the side as Tomoe's attack sailed through the spot she once
occupied. Kaoru then proceeded to whack off Tomoe's top half once again to the other
side of the dojo. "Umm, thanks Aoshi. How do you know all that?"
"I'm a ninja, plus I read through the story beforehand," Aoshi said with no
expression in his ice cold eyes.
"Isn't Aoshi-Sama cool?" Misao chirped.
"That Violent otemba must die!" Tomoe shouted. "She's trying to replace me
when she's a lousy cook, violent, abusive, and a crybaby!"
Kaoru looked at Tomoe like she grew a second head to support her murderous
lobe. "Me? Violent and abusive? Crybaby? Umm, maybe you are confusing me with
her?" Kaoru said as she pointed out the dojo door to the next cameo character, a strange
teenage japanese girl with short hair dressed in a gajin fashion.
"What was that?!?!" the nameless guest star shouted as she charged Kaoru and
whipped out what appeared to be a wooden hammer. "Eat my special mallet attack!"
Kaoru effortlessly blocked the girl's poor strike with her bokken.
"Its not a special attack, dear, it's a common anime/manga gag that's not original
to only you," Kaoru said to the strange girl. The strange girl's weapon disappeared in a
puff of smoke from Kaoru's words.
"Uh oh," The girl said now that her weapon disappeared. Kaoru whacked the
strange cameo guest star across the forehead with her bokken with enough force to
propell the girl out of the dojo.
"Now get out of my fic!" Kaoru shouted. "Geeze, crossover guest stars just can't
tell when they're unwanted," Kaoru turned her head towards Tomoe's upper torso as it
made its way back to its lower body to reattach itselt once again. "Kenshin, can you tell
your ex-wife to behave herself when she's at my dojo?"
"Alright, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said. "Tomoe, while you stay at this dojo, you
must not kill Kaoru-dono!"
"EX-wife? What do you mean, Kenshin?" Tomoe asked, confused as she
attached herself again.
"Well, 'till death do us part', Tomoe, and you DID die, thus I am a free agent,"
Kenshin said.
"What Himura speaks is the truth!" Misao said energetically. "We researched
such strange cases of the past lovers/girlfriends/wives coming back from the grave and
the past relationship is considered invalid in most cases! The most interesting case
involves a half-demon and this priestess and."
"Misao, this is neither the time or the place," Aoshi said. "In any case, Misao
and I will stay and make sure this new homicidal Tomoe will not cause anymore trouble
for the time being,"
***
Wow, there's Chapter 3! Isn't that insane? How many cameos did you catch?