Disclaimer: Inu Yasha and all the characters in it are the sole creation of Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter 3:

"It can't be you." Rin looked up in disbelief.

She glimpsed the weapon in his hand and for a brief moment she panicked. Her mind flashed back to years before when that weapon had nearly torn her apart and killed her a second time. But then she regained her composure and reminded herself that it was not Kohaku that had really tried to kill her.

He looked concerned. He detected her unease and released her shoulders.

Kohaku looked at her for a moment, blinked, blinked again, and then stared at her from large eyes. "Rin! Wow, it really has been a long time hasn't it."

The familiarity caught her off guard and she blinked at him in surprise. "Ho. . How do you remember me."

Kohaku smiled. "You're wearing your hair the same way you did back then. And I heard the story about the girl Inu Yasha gave the sword too. That IS Tetsusaiga you're carrying, isn't it?"

Rin blushed. It seems she was infamous for carrying a sword she couldn't use.

"That and," he shuffled his feet a little, "the night I spent talking to you is one of the few memories I can recall from when I was under Naraku's control."

"Oh." She had been such a child then. But she couldn't help but feel glad. She had remembered that night well. It had been one of the scariest she had experienced, but also one of the most memorable.

Just then Shippo jumped up onto Kohaku's shoulder and hugged him awkwardly around his head.

"You're home! You came just in time. I tried to save Rin, but the mononoke was too big! How was the youkai in the other village? Were you able to get all of them? How was the food?"

Kohaku chuckled. "You are full of questions as usual. Let's get back to ane's place and I can tell you my stories." He turned to Rin and offered her his hand. "Why don't you come with us?"

Rin stared at his outstretched hand and froze. It was a rare sight for her. Indeed, she wasn't sure how to accept it for she felt bonded to Kohaku in a way. That night, when she had been kidnapped he seemed almost protective. Though she was his prisoner, he had talked to her and didn't even mind her childish chatter. Rin has sensed his sadness and it was then that she knew they were both different. Even now, in a sense, they had both come back from the dead. Only his new life was among humans, killing youkai, while hers was living among them. Or is it? The memory was still fresh with pain and her heart ached from regret. She wondered if she would ever be able to go back to the life she knew, or be content to accept what was in front of her.

She refused his hand, but nodded her head and followed him.



Sesshoumaru stood quietly overlooking Inu Yasha forest. He had resolved to leave this place behind, but stopped and found himself returning to the same spot he felt Tetsusaiga pulse. He had been surprised. Pleasantly so. He hadn't expected the old sword to express power now that it's master no longer wielded it. The sword had tried to communicate something, but Sesshoumaru could not imagine what. What could the sword possibly be trying to tell him? Or perhaps the message was for Rin. It had called her back to the human world.

Sesshoumaru looked down at Tenseiga at his waist. He had used it on her years before after he detected the wolf youkai and found her small broken body on the ground. He often rationalized why he had done it. Experimentation struck the top of the list. He had tried the sword out on Jaken, a simple youkai, but she was human. There was no loss in trying it. He had never tried it out on a human before. Why would he want to save the life of something so weak, something that so easily yielded to measly death? Had it failed, the world suffered no loss, but had it worked. . . she was the first human he thought worthy of another chance.

Sometimes, he reluctantly admitted that he knew the sword would work. Why else would he have used it on Jaken? His next conclusion was that it was to pay a debt. It was a small debt, but he had no desire to owe anything to any human. She had futilely tried to help him while he recovered from Tetsusaiga's blow. While there was no human that could truly pose a threat to him, he was relieved that she didn't call the village's attention to him, sparing him the nuisance of angry mobs. He was impressed that she even dared to approach him. At first he thought her stupid, but the caution in her eyes spoke of hardships suffered far too young. A fear lingered beneath them despite her obvious desire to help him, and her generosity was remarkable considering how little she seemed to have herself.

But it was her smile that had startled him. No one ever smiled at him. At least not with sincere joy. Few ever regarded him with anything beyond fear or awe, but never joy. Especially not humans. For a brief moment it had made him feel awkward; the small child accomplishing what few in the world could do. She was a strange child, maybe even fascinating through her often contradictory ways. Wise to many things and yet so innocent as well.

Whimsy had led him to find her again. Whimsy had brought him to save her life and keep her. Rather, she followed him. She required little maintenance and Jaken proved fully capable of watching over her despite his early protestations. Even the two headed beast Jaken rode had grown affectionate for the child. But she was hardly a child now.

Sesshoumaru never needed to remind himself that she was human. Even years among youkai could not erase that smell. It was a daily reminder of the difference between them. She grew quickly while he was ageless, and he knew that someday nature would take its course and she would be gone. He just hadn't expected it to be so soon.

No, he thought to himself. For a moment he thought he imagined he was upset by this. He flicked it away from his mind like an unwanted bug and clung to his anger. But he found that it was hard to be angry. It was annoyance really. He was annoyed at how easily she had unsettled him last night. Not with threats and challenges, but affection. Another thing he was unaccustomed to. Why couldn't she just bear it quietly like Jaken? Him, love a human? She knew better than that. And yet she persisted. She even embraced him even though he knew she was afraid of his demon form.

The image came back to him. He could see her trembling as she walked up to him, the scent of her fear heavily upon his nose. And yet she was bold enough to embrace him. She was an odd child. Afraid of that simple demon earlier before and yet bold enough to brave his anger. He could never figure her out.

"Sesshoumaru sama! Sesshoumaru sama! Ah here you are!"

Sesshoumaru turned and found a frantic panting Jaken running towards him. Sesshoumaru felt a slight surge of relief. Now there was someone who knew his place. The familiar sound of his faithful servant, though he unconsciously noted that something was missing. He puzzled for a moment before realizing how quiet it seemed without Rin's laughter.

Kuso.

Annoyed that she was capable of provoking such unwanted sentimentality Sesshoumaru ignored Jaken's inquiries and, without a word, walked away.



Evening settled. Rin walked quietly next to Kohaku through the cool forest paths. Kaede had asked her to gather some herbs for the evening meal and Kohaku offered to help. The afternoon had passed pleasantly enough. The group was lively, affectionate, welcoming. . . and yet Rin felt like she watched it all from outside.

She glanced at the tall boy walking next to her. She thought she imagined it, but there had been something in his laughter, something in the way he smiled that said he laughed from the outside too. Something lingered beneath the surface of his smiling face, and something told her it was insincerity, and a touch of sadness.

As a child, running around with Sesshoumaru, laughter had come easy to her. It was a time in her life when she was genuinely happy. Being with him and Jaken, she could forget. She could lock away the dark memories and forget she had another life. But growing up had changed that. Things changed. Or perhaps only she had. The dark memories surfaced and she began to question. The more she saw of the world. . The human world, the more she questioned. She saw families, children playing, girls not much older than herself getting married themselves. At first she couldn't understand her reaction to them. She couldn't comprehend why they stirred a dull ache in her chest, and then she realized that she was jealous.

She thought it would be ok. She tried to convince herself that she had been removed from that world. She existed only in Sesshoumaru's. He was all she needed. But now . . .

"You're quiet. Is something wrong?"

"uun." She shook her head.

"We can head back if you aren't feeling well."

"I'm fine."

Silence. They walked a few minutes longer before Kohaku looked away and walked a few feet ahead. Unexpectedly, he paused. His head lowered, he didn't even look at her.

"It's ok you know. You can admit it." Silence. "I don't blame you really."

Rin looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"You're afraid of me still. I can see it. The way you looked at my weapon earlier. The way you refused my hand and haven't spoken to me." He turned and looked at her with almost hurt eyes. "I'm sorry Rin. I couldn't help it. It was Naraku's control. I fought it as hard as I could, but with it came the memories and I. . . "

Rin finally understood. Kohaku thought that she had not forgiven him for what happened so long ago. He thought she feared him even now.

"It's not that." The words came from her mouth before she could stop them. "I forgave you long ago. I knew something was wrong as soon as you gained the strange blank look in your eyes. You had been so kind to me earlier, I knew you didn't really want to hurt me. Really, it's not you."

Kohaku was surprised. "Oh." He smiled. "Phew, cuz I was really getting worried there for a moment. Then what IS bothering you Rin?"

Rin grew hesitant. Could she trust him? Would he even understand?

Rin walked over to a tree stump and slumped down. "memories," she muttered. She averted her eyes to the grassy floor, watching a bug slowly pick its away among the blades.

Kohaku quietly sat next to her.

"I . . I . . " Rin didn't know where to start. She had lost the habit of rambling when she was nervous and found herself often stuttering instead. "I. . " Kohaku's warm hand gently covered hers, choking off any words that happened to cross her mind. She tensed up and her first thought was to snatch her hand away.

"You forgot right? You have something you don't want to remember and so you try to forget . . ."

Rin paused. He really hadn't forgotten her. It was the same words she had told him years ago while he was under Naraku's control. Eyes lowered, the sadness expressed through his downcast eyes affected her. He understood. She had said nothing and yet he understood.

". . .me too."

Rin relaxed her hand and nodded her head silently. "un."

Rin sighed. She was trapped between two worlds she could never completely belong to. But something told her that Kohaku could understand. Perhaps Kohaku was trapped as well.

They sat together in silence. Kohaku's hand felt warm, strong, and strangely made her feel safe. Like a bandage almost; it did nothing to abate the pain that still throbbed in her chest as once more her mind ran through her memories of the previous night., but in it there was an unexpected solace.



***Author's note:

Hrm, this story kind of took over and is turning out longer than anticipated. Sorry about that. For those of you that Know absolutely NO Japanese, "un" means yes and "uun" means no. I use Japanese occasionally so I'll try to include translations at the end. Erm. . I know this update took kinda long, but school just started last week so things are going to get a little crazy and it will probably take awhile to get each chapter out. Hehe. Thank you everyone who has reviewed or even read. This is my first time writing fan fiction so I appreciate the criticisms. Thanks. =)