Disclaimer: I didn't make these characters up, I'm just borrowing them for
my own sick purposes. *eg*
A/N: If for some reason you skipped CH 10 because I labeled this one alternative ending, go back and read it now because it's a continuation of it. =) I warn you all that in this one, Sesshoumaru is a bit ooc, but I tried my best to preserve his character. With that in mind. . enjoy.
Textual note: "aishiteru"- I love you kuso- swear word, basically meaning, "shit"
He watched her silently as she flicked back a piece of her thick black hair, sighing over the white flower held delicately in her hand. She had been musing over the flowers for some time now. He wondered what went through her mind as she gently ran her fingers over smooth petals.
He half noted that the sword wasn't with her, though it had been the reason, he told himself, for coming back. That, and to get Jaken to shut up about the time Rin did this or Rin did that.
He had the odd feeling his once so subservient companion was actually trying to annoy him this time.
It had only been two weeks since he left. But watching her now, it was hard to believe she had been so close to death.
He watched her closely, wondering how he had never noted her beauty. Her human beauty, his mind instinctively added. He had seen youkai women more striking, none ever interesting him of course, but there was a subtle beauty in the way her cheeks flushed every time she sighed, or the innocence that seemed to brighten her eyes when her wistful gaze betrayed that daydreaming state. She was always so expressive.
She wasn't afraid of emotion.
He had always regarded emotions as a weakness, but, for Rin, they were her strength.
Perhaps that was the difference between humans and youkai. Youkai survived through power. Humans, to make up for their physical weakness, relied on some strength of emotion. For so long, he had mistaken it all as weakness. He had never desired to look long enough at humans to learn differently.
His thoughts were pulled away by a certain glistening on her cheek. Tears?
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she whispered, before dropping the flower to bury her face in her hands.
She had slept for two days after the incident. Once she had awakened, her first impulse was to run out and search for him, but Kohaku had told her what had happened. He insisted that Sesshoumaru had left.
She would have run out and wandered after him anyways had Kaede not forced her to rest until she was positive the wounds were completely healed. Her body had still been sore from bruises, but those slowly began to fade, and she recovered.
Once she was able to walk around freely again, she felt listless. He had been the last thing she saw before she fainted, his image haunting her, making her ache inside even after she had completely healed.
Recounting the episode in her head, she could hardly recall the pain of the blow. Seeing him step out of the shadows, she thought her heart would burst, believing, for one deluded moment of happiness, that he had come back for her.
But he hadn't, she reflected. Why else would he have left?
For days she had sat in the forest, playing with the flowers that reminded her so much of him, childishly day dreaming about him. It was once the day dreams ended that the emptiness returned. She still couldn't accept that he was gone.
"Sesshoumaru sama." She whispered to herself, why won't you come back for me? Aishiteru. . .
She dropped the flower she had been twirling in her fingers to cover her face. Slowly, she loosed the building sobs that had constricted her throat from speaking her thoughts aloud.
"Aishiteru," she whispered to the flowers, curling on the ground until her sobs melted into the stillness of quiet slumber
The sun was sinking on the horizon, yet still no one had come for her. Not that he minded of course. He sat by her side, watching over her sleeping form, enjoying, for a moment, the simple past time of keeping her safe.
He thought she had discovered him when she whispered his name, but her sobs told him it was only her reflections. He had left to avoid hurting her, yet here she was crying herself to sleep at his name.
Her tears disturbed him. He had told himself that it was better this way, leaving her to live a normal life. But then why couldn't she see that?
Deep down he knew the answer. She cried for the same reason that he returned.
But she was strong. Time would pass, she would live her life, and this childish love would fade. . .
Love? He paused. How did that word slip in there?
He looked down at her sleeping face. A small tear still lingered on her cheek.
For some reason he couldn't stand to see it there. His reached out, his forefinger gently wiping it away before unconsciously wandering astray to push back a rebellious black lock of her hair.
Kuso, he muttered inwardly, his hand wandered, brushing against the part of her cheek still glistening slightly under the residue of tears.
"It seems I'm your son after all, father."
Surprised by his own lack of control, he got up and moved to a safer distance. Better to stop now, than to do something else he'll regret.
Her vision blurred slightly as she opened her eyes. Silver melted into midnight blue and shadow. Only, it wasn't silver.
She sat up, disoriented, forgetting for a moment where she was. Looking at the white flowers, slightly silver from the moonlight, she quickly remembered how she had gotten there and why.
Sesshoumaru. . .
For a moment she had thought he was with her, but quickly berated herself for such foolishness. It was just a dream.
She wanted to sleep again, remembering how it had all felt so real. . .
"It's about time you wake up."
She jumped, startled by the unexpected voice, quickly turning her head to the silvery form behind her.
"Sesshoumaru sama!"
Were her eyes deceiving her, or was this another dream? She hardly dared to believe he had come back for her.
"Where's Tetsusaiga?" His words quickly extinguished her enthusiasm and dashed her foolishly raised hopes.
Nothing had changed. It was still the same cold, confident, demanding voice he always used; the same ambiguous yet intimidating stare.
It wasn't a dream. Only she wasn't the one he came back for.
Choking back tears of disappointment, she struggled to speak.
"It's in the village." She looked down, shielding her eyes from him. "In Kaede's hut."
"Let's go."
Rin stared at the ground, trying to regain control of herself. "Hai"
She rose from her knees and slowly followed him towards the village. She looked at his back, his long silvery hair swinging gently from his movement. Would this be the last time they'd be together? After he had Tetsusaiga, there would be nothing left for him here.
She tried to hold back her tears, but her body wouldn't listen, her vision increasingly blurred from mounting tears.
Unable to see properly, she stumbled over a tree root bulging out of the ground, landing on her hands and knees as soft thud resounded through the air.
Sesshoumaru stopped and turned to look.
But she didn't get up. She stayed on her hands and knees, eyes to the floor, in attempt to hide the tears that began to fall.
She hadn't meant to cry, but she had wanted to see him so badly; now that he was here, all it did was rip her up inside.
"Gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru sama."
"Rin. . . "
"It's ok, it doesn't hurt." She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. "I'm fine."
"Good." Focusing on her own emotional state, she missed the slight waver in his tone.
Rin looked up to see he had already turned back around. He took a few steps forward, but when she failed to move, he paused. "Let's go Rin."
Still turned away from her, she failed to notice it at first, but, slowly, he stretched his right hand out, palm outward, and fingers outstretched as though offering themselves to her.
Rin looked at him in confusion.
What could this possibly mean?
"Hurry up."
"Ha. . Hai Sesshoumaru sama."
She slowly crawled up to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes and carefully walking through the dark forest. She hesitated when she reached his hand.
His eyes lowered to the floor, he refused to look at her, but his hand remained outstretched, waiting, it seemed, for hers.
She stretched out one finger, but paused before taking his hand. Her heart was pounding. She had never been so afraid in her life. Taking a deep breath, she shyly placed her hand in his, touching him only so slightly.
He closed his fingers around her hand, gently, but firm; his slightly chilled skin cooling the slight sting from her fall. He began to walk briskly, his grip on her hand never wavering.
"Sesshoumaru sama?"
What did this all mean? Why? Why was he doing this?
"We can't leave Tetsusaiga here."
"Eh?"
"We'll be leaving as soon as we collect Tetsusaiga. Unless. . ."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you want to stay here."
There it was again. That superficially calm voice, bordering on the edge emotion.
"No. I don't belong with humans."
She hesitated. He had heard these words before; she had already spoken them. But would he listen to them this time, or rage like before?
"I. . . I want to be with Sesshoumaru sama. . . Always."
But he only squeezed her hand slightly.
"Then let's go Rin."
She looked up at him with a face strained with emotion. She thought she would sink under the now overwhelming barrage of emotions that seemed to have been set loose upon her already confused mind. For a moment she feared that this was the dream, but the slight pain from her fall testified otherwise.
It was real.
A smile blossomed from the sudden realization. She tightened her grip on his hand and beamed at his down-turned face.
Hai, Sesshoumaru sama."
Owari
A/N: just so you know "owari" means the end.
How was that everyone? Or should I still get out the umbrella to protect myself from the tomatoes? Hehe. This fic was more of how I visioned those two actually transitioning from a type of companion relationship to more of a romantic one. Think of this as a beginning =)
Once again, thanks for reading my first fan fic. It's been fun. I apologize to those faithful readers that suffered my slow posting and thanks for the reviews. =D Hope you enjoyed!
Some of you are still asking about the sequel. . . .it's actually been posted, or started really. Only the prologue is up. It's been slow in coming because I broke my wrist pretty soon after finishing this one. The sequel is titled Vicious Cycle. You can find it at At least it should be. If that doesn't work, just use the search =P
A/N: If for some reason you skipped CH 10 because I labeled this one alternative ending, go back and read it now because it's a continuation of it. =) I warn you all that in this one, Sesshoumaru is a bit ooc, but I tried my best to preserve his character. With that in mind. . enjoy.
Textual note: "aishiteru"- I love you kuso- swear word, basically meaning, "shit"
He watched her silently as she flicked back a piece of her thick black hair, sighing over the white flower held delicately in her hand. She had been musing over the flowers for some time now. He wondered what went through her mind as she gently ran her fingers over smooth petals.
He half noted that the sword wasn't with her, though it had been the reason, he told himself, for coming back. That, and to get Jaken to shut up about the time Rin did this or Rin did that.
He had the odd feeling his once so subservient companion was actually trying to annoy him this time.
It had only been two weeks since he left. But watching her now, it was hard to believe she had been so close to death.
He watched her closely, wondering how he had never noted her beauty. Her human beauty, his mind instinctively added. He had seen youkai women more striking, none ever interesting him of course, but there was a subtle beauty in the way her cheeks flushed every time she sighed, or the innocence that seemed to brighten her eyes when her wistful gaze betrayed that daydreaming state. She was always so expressive.
She wasn't afraid of emotion.
He had always regarded emotions as a weakness, but, for Rin, they were her strength.
Perhaps that was the difference between humans and youkai. Youkai survived through power. Humans, to make up for their physical weakness, relied on some strength of emotion. For so long, he had mistaken it all as weakness. He had never desired to look long enough at humans to learn differently.
His thoughts were pulled away by a certain glistening on her cheek. Tears?
"Sesshoumaru-sama," she whispered, before dropping the flower to bury her face in her hands.
She had slept for two days after the incident. Once she had awakened, her first impulse was to run out and search for him, but Kohaku had told her what had happened. He insisted that Sesshoumaru had left.
She would have run out and wandered after him anyways had Kaede not forced her to rest until she was positive the wounds were completely healed. Her body had still been sore from bruises, but those slowly began to fade, and she recovered.
Once she was able to walk around freely again, she felt listless. He had been the last thing she saw before she fainted, his image haunting her, making her ache inside even after she had completely healed.
Recounting the episode in her head, she could hardly recall the pain of the blow. Seeing him step out of the shadows, she thought her heart would burst, believing, for one deluded moment of happiness, that he had come back for her.
But he hadn't, she reflected. Why else would he have left?
For days she had sat in the forest, playing with the flowers that reminded her so much of him, childishly day dreaming about him. It was once the day dreams ended that the emptiness returned. She still couldn't accept that he was gone.
"Sesshoumaru sama." She whispered to herself, why won't you come back for me? Aishiteru. . .
She dropped the flower she had been twirling in her fingers to cover her face. Slowly, she loosed the building sobs that had constricted her throat from speaking her thoughts aloud.
"Aishiteru," she whispered to the flowers, curling on the ground until her sobs melted into the stillness of quiet slumber
The sun was sinking on the horizon, yet still no one had come for her. Not that he minded of course. He sat by her side, watching over her sleeping form, enjoying, for a moment, the simple past time of keeping her safe.
He thought she had discovered him when she whispered his name, but her sobs told him it was only her reflections. He had left to avoid hurting her, yet here she was crying herself to sleep at his name.
Her tears disturbed him. He had told himself that it was better this way, leaving her to live a normal life. But then why couldn't she see that?
Deep down he knew the answer. She cried for the same reason that he returned.
But she was strong. Time would pass, she would live her life, and this childish love would fade. . .
Love? He paused. How did that word slip in there?
He looked down at her sleeping face. A small tear still lingered on her cheek.
For some reason he couldn't stand to see it there. His reached out, his forefinger gently wiping it away before unconsciously wandering astray to push back a rebellious black lock of her hair.
Kuso, he muttered inwardly, his hand wandered, brushing against the part of her cheek still glistening slightly under the residue of tears.
"It seems I'm your son after all, father."
Surprised by his own lack of control, he got up and moved to a safer distance. Better to stop now, than to do something else he'll regret.
Her vision blurred slightly as she opened her eyes. Silver melted into midnight blue and shadow. Only, it wasn't silver.
She sat up, disoriented, forgetting for a moment where she was. Looking at the white flowers, slightly silver from the moonlight, she quickly remembered how she had gotten there and why.
Sesshoumaru. . .
For a moment she had thought he was with her, but quickly berated herself for such foolishness. It was just a dream.
She wanted to sleep again, remembering how it had all felt so real. . .
"It's about time you wake up."
She jumped, startled by the unexpected voice, quickly turning her head to the silvery form behind her.
"Sesshoumaru sama!"
Were her eyes deceiving her, or was this another dream? She hardly dared to believe he had come back for her.
"Where's Tetsusaiga?" His words quickly extinguished her enthusiasm and dashed her foolishly raised hopes.
Nothing had changed. It was still the same cold, confident, demanding voice he always used; the same ambiguous yet intimidating stare.
It wasn't a dream. Only she wasn't the one he came back for.
Choking back tears of disappointment, she struggled to speak.
"It's in the village." She looked down, shielding her eyes from him. "In Kaede's hut."
"Let's go."
Rin stared at the ground, trying to regain control of herself. "Hai"
She rose from her knees and slowly followed him towards the village. She looked at his back, his long silvery hair swinging gently from his movement. Would this be the last time they'd be together? After he had Tetsusaiga, there would be nothing left for him here.
She tried to hold back her tears, but her body wouldn't listen, her vision increasingly blurred from mounting tears.
Unable to see properly, she stumbled over a tree root bulging out of the ground, landing on her hands and knees as soft thud resounded through the air.
Sesshoumaru stopped and turned to look.
But she didn't get up. She stayed on her hands and knees, eyes to the floor, in attempt to hide the tears that began to fall.
She hadn't meant to cry, but she had wanted to see him so badly; now that he was here, all it did was rip her up inside.
"Gomen nasai, Sesshoumaru sama."
"Rin. . . "
"It's ok, it doesn't hurt." She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. "I'm fine."
"Good." Focusing on her own emotional state, she missed the slight waver in his tone.
Rin looked up to see he had already turned back around. He took a few steps forward, but when she failed to move, he paused. "Let's go Rin."
Still turned away from her, she failed to notice it at first, but, slowly, he stretched his right hand out, palm outward, and fingers outstretched as though offering themselves to her.
Rin looked at him in confusion.
What could this possibly mean?
"Hurry up."
"Ha. . Hai Sesshoumaru sama."
She slowly crawled up to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes and carefully walking through the dark forest. She hesitated when she reached his hand.
His eyes lowered to the floor, he refused to look at her, but his hand remained outstretched, waiting, it seemed, for hers.
She stretched out one finger, but paused before taking his hand. Her heart was pounding. She had never been so afraid in her life. Taking a deep breath, she shyly placed her hand in his, touching him only so slightly.
He closed his fingers around her hand, gently, but firm; his slightly chilled skin cooling the slight sting from her fall. He began to walk briskly, his grip on her hand never wavering.
"Sesshoumaru sama?"
What did this all mean? Why? Why was he doing this?
"We can't leave Tetsusaiga here."
"Eh?"
"We'll be leaving as soon as we collect Tetsusaiga. Unless. . ."
"Unless what?"
"Unless you want to stay here."
There it was again. That superficially calm voice, bordering on the edge emotion.
"No. I don't belong with humans."
She hesitated. He had heard these words before; she had already spoken them. But would he listen to them this time, or rage like before?
"I. . . I want to be with Sesshoumaru sama. . . Always."
But he only squeezed her hand slightly.
"Then let's go Rin."
She looked up at him with a face strained with emotion. She thought she would sink under the now overwhelming barrage of emotions that seemed to have been set loose upon her already confused mind. For a moment she feared that this was the dream, but the slight pain from her fall testified otherwise.
It was real.
A smile blossomed from the sudden realization. She tightened her grip on his hand and beamed at his down-turned face.
Hai, Sesshoumaru sama."
Owari
A/N: just so you know "owari" means the end.
How was that everyone? Or should I still get out the umbrella to protect myself from the tomatoes? Hehe. This fic was more of how I visioned those two actually transitioning from a type of companion relationship to more of a romantic one. Think of this as a beginning =)
Once again, thanks for reading my first fan fic. It's been fun. I apologize to those faithful readers that suffered my slow posting and thanks for the reviews. =D Hope you enjoyed!
Some of you are still asking about the sequel. . . .it's actually been posted, or started really. Only the prologue is up. It's been slow in coming because I broke my wrist pretty soon after finishing this one. The sequel is titled Vicious Cycle. You can find it at At least it should be. If that doesn't work, just use the search =P