I picked up her bag from outside my locker and flung it onto one shoulder, not caring about whatever back problems all those stupid television shows warned me about. It was after school and I had to get home right away before he found me. No one seemed to know who "he" was, except him himself, and he seemed proud of how much distress he'd caused me in the past month or two.
"Hey, Denise, wait up!" His voice made me stop and stand stock still out of pure fear while he ran down the hall and put a hand on my quivering shoulder. "What's happening? You're shaking!"
"I know. I can't... I can't hang out tonight."
"Why not?"
"Umm..."
"Going to Jamie's? Or maybe Crystal's? Or-"
"Uh, yeah, Jamie's. I mean, yes, duh. I always go to Jamie's after school." I couldn't let him say her name.
"Not always. Listen, do you have something against me? I know that you've been avoiding me and I don't know why."
"Leopold Lansing. I just can't believe you sometimes. I don't avoid you! Never!" My voice was coated thick with what would have been sarcasm if I was just a little bit more angry. Leo's eyes welled up with a few small tears, which he wiped on the back of his hand.
"Denise, I know that it's tough on you that I'm... on the rebound."
"That's not what bothers me!" All my rage suddenly flew out of my usually well-hidden soul. "What bothers me is that you're on the fricking rebound from my bloody best friend!!" Leo recoiled as if I was touching him with a hot coal at the words "best friend."
"Who is your best friend? I mean, really. Pick one already. 'Nise, I go out with a lot of people."
"I know that. I've known that since you ditched and hurt Malory Stevenson."
"Oh, yes, Mal. I remember that she was one of the best kissers."
"Don't act like some kind of playboy. You're not cool. Inside I bet your heart breaks every time you hurt somebody as sweet, beautiful and kind as Malory. And don't call her Mal! It's not as if she's some kind of acquaintence of yours, or anything! She doesn't know you anymore. You're out of her life. She just doesn't want to hurt. She doesn't want to hurt YOU."
"Hurt me? None of my girls hurt me. I hurt them, sure."
"Yeah, and Mal was just another trophy for your shelf. You're going to neglect that trophy, and eventually it will turn so brass that you won't be able to do anything with it. All of them will get that way at some point. And then - and then what will you do?!" I spun away from him and walked quickly out the front door of the school. I hadn't been in a bad mood before he'd come up with his so-called innocence and yelled my name down the hall. He always put me in a slouch, and then I bugged everyone else because my temper is so bad. I knew what he was trying to do - he was trying to make me another insignificant possession under his belt. If I was going to be his girlfriend, like he obviously wanted me to be, he'd have to let me be in control of the relationship. And of course, he wasn't going to let me do that, ever, so I'd never be his, no matter how hard he wanted me to be.
"Mal!"
"Denny!"
"You seen Cryss today? Or Jamie?"
"I just saw Cryssy, she's on her way to school. And Jamie, she's - hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"I've been your friend for too long to fall for that old trick. You've been crying. Tell me. You can tell me!"
"No. It would make you feel bad, too."
"Does it have to do with Leo? If it does, I'm totally over that geek!" I sniffed and told her all about meeting Leo the day before after school, and she listened with her eyes and ears wide open the whole time. What a friend. Then she spoke. "Denise, please don't get down just because my ex wants you to be his girl. I'll let you in on a secret - he didn't dump me."
"But... he did dump you! You're not together anymore, he must've dumped you."
"No. I dumped him."
"You? Leo dumped?" I was really confused by that one.
"Well, kind of. I told him I hated him and that I never wanted to see him again, and that we were over, and after that he said, 'I agree, we're over,' just so he could tell everyone that he dumped me. But he didn't. He's that good a liar."
"Oh my God. But you still hurt after that, right?"
"You bet your arse I did. I kept thinking it was, you know, the wrong decision."
"It wasn't."
"With Leo Lansing, it's always the right decision." Malory could always make me laugh, even when both our hearts were aching and our smiles barely worked while our frowns were taking overtime. Leo caused so much heartbreak to everyone, but laughing still existed, and often his unlucky victims (and victims-to-be, like myself) forgot that fact. Sometimes he even made his exes and wanteds forget their dreams for the future, which was the worst - when you saw a girl who loved to sing, or loved to dance, avoiding doing her hobby at any cost, it just broke your heart so badly.
"Hey, Denise, wait up!" His voice made me stop and stand stock still out of pure fear while he ran down the hall and put a hand on my quivering shoulder. "What's happening? You're shaking!"
"I know. I can't... I can't hang out tonight."
"Why not?"
"Umm..."
"Going to Jamie's? Or maybe Crystal's? Or-"
"Uh, yeah, Jamie's. I mean, yes, duh. I always go to Jamie's after school." I couldn't let him say her name.
"Not always. Listen, do you have something against me? I know that you've been avoiding me and I don't know why."
"Leopold Lansing. I just can't believe you sometimes. I don't avoid you! Never!" My voice was coated thick with what would have been sarcasm if I was just a little bit more angry. Leo's eyes welled up with a few small tears, which he wiped on the back of his hand.
"Denise, I know that it's tough on you that I'm... on the rebound."
"That's not what bothers me!" All my rage suddenly flew out of my usually well-hidden soul. "What bothers me is that you're on the fricking rebound from my bloody best friend!!" Leo recoiled as if I was touching him with a hot coal at the words "best friend."
"Who is your best friend? I mean, really. Pick one already. 'Nise, I go out with a lot of people."
"I know that. I've known that since you ditched and hurt Malory Stevenson."
"Oh, yes, Mal. I remember that she was one of the best kissers."
"Don't act like some kind of playboy. You're not cool. Inside I bet your heart breaks every time you hurt somebody as sweet, beautiful and kind as Malory. And don't call her Mal! It's not as if she's some kind of acquaintence of yours, or anything! She doesn't know you anymore. You're out of her life. She just doesn't want to hurt. She doesn't want to hurt YOU."
"Hurt me? None of my girls hurt me. I hurt them, sure."
"Yeah, and Mal was just another trophy for your shelf. You're going to neglect that trophy, and eventually it will turn so brass that you won't be able to do anything with it. All of them will get that way at some point. And then - and then what will you do?!" I spun away from him and walked quickly out the front door of the school. I hadn't been in a bad mood before he'd come up with his so-called innocence and yelled my name down the hall. He always put me in a slouch, and then I bugged everyone else because my temper is so bad. I knew what he was trying to do - he was trying to make me another insignificant possession under his belt. If I was going to be his girlfriend, like he obviously wanted me to be, he'd have to let me be in control of the relationship. And of course, he wasn't going to let me do that, ever, so I'd never be his, no matter how hard he wanted me to be.
"Mal!"
"Denny!"
"You seen Cryss today? Or Jamie?"
"I just saw Cryssy, she's on her way to school. And Jamie, she's - hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong."
"I've been your friend for too long to fall for that old trick. You've been crying. Tell me. You can tell me!"
"No. It would make you feel bad, too."
"Does it have to do with Leo? If it does, I'm totally over that geek!" I sniffed and told her all about meeting Leo the day before after school, and she listened with her eyes and ears wide open the whole time. What a friend. Then she spoke. "Denise, please don't get down just because my ex wants you to be his girl. I'll let you in on a secret - he didn't dump me."
"But... he did dump you! You're not together anymore, he must've dumped you."
"No. I dumped him."
"You? Leo dumped?" I was really confused by that one.
"Well, kind of. I told him I hated him and that I never wanted to see him again, and that we were over, and after that he said, 'I agree, we're over,' just so he could tell everyone that he dumped me. But he didn't. He's that good a liar."
"Oh my God. But you still hurt after that, right?"
"You bet your arse I did. I kept thinking it was, you know, the wrong decision."
"It wasn't."
"With Leo Lansing, it's always the right decision." Malory could always make me laugh, even when both our hearts were aching and our smiles barely worked while our frowns were taking overtime. Leo caused so much heartbreak to everyone, but laughing still existed, and often his unlucky victims (and victims-to-be, like myself) forgot that fact. Sometimes he even made his exes and wanteds forget their dreams for the future, which was the worst - when you saw a girl who loved to sing, or loved to dance, avoiding doing her hobby at any cost, it just broke your heart so badly.