~*~
The third thing I would do if owned Lord of the Rings:
Invite everyone round to my monkey palace and hold a gigantic bobbing for apples competition - the winner gets a lifetime supply of peanut M & M's and their footballer of choice.
"- The One Spoon." Elrond paused for effect. Everyone else was completely stock-still. One brave human, possibly Shayne managed to speak up.
"Um... sorry... but did you just say spoon? As in S-P-O-O-N?" Elrond nodded gravely. "Right, well, just checking." Shayne's question managed to break everyone out of their spoon induced stupor. Glog, brother of Grog cleared his throat.
"So we are talking about spoons then? The things we use to eat... say soup?" Elrond nodded even more gravely.
"Spoons? Ah yes but what kind of spoon? Soup or serving?" Asked Bog, who was the only one apart from Elrond who hadn't thought this even a little strange. A cloud of confusion crossed Elrond's face.
"I... don't actually know... anyhow that doesn't matter, what matters is Legolas is in grave danger and we must do something quickly!"
"Then shouldn't you tell us more about this... spoon?" Then as if by magic Gandalf the grey appeared. The easily impressed and people who hadn't seen him walk up gasped. Elrond was one of those easily impressed.
"Huh? How'd you do that?" He asked, awe-inspired that Gandalf had suddenly become so powerful he could crash secret meetings at will. Gandalf looked at Elrond earnestly.
"I walked." Elrond blushed before motioning Gandalf to an empty chair.
"Well now your here we need your immense expertise on the one... spoon" Gandalf nodded solemnly. `
"I too felt an evil presence covering Rivendell like a blanket but I would never have guessed something so positively evil but round could be responsible." Gandalf said, half exasperated, half amazed. "I will tell you the little I know of this truly dark and shadowy popular cutlery piece."....
"It was created in the fiery depths of Mount Doom: It is rumoured that at the very moment the Dark Lord was poring his heart, soul and evil tendencies into the One Ring that he was also snacking lightly on a nice bowl of minestrone soup. The evil aura surrounded the Dark Lord's bowl of soup, encasing it with its sinister power... The One Spoon is the very same spoon the Dark Lord was using to eat his soup with that fated day!" Gandalf's voice had grown low and menacing.
"So it was a soup spoon then?" Commented Bog with a quick triumphant glance at the encapsulated Elrond.
"But... but what happened to the soup and the bowl?" Asked Wayne, voice shaking with fear.
"Oh well he finished his soup and well the bowl's a bowl isn't it? And bowl's can't be evil!"
It took some time for everyone to calm down after this frightful tale. Eventually Elrond felt that he could continue.
"And so we all now know what is causing our beloved Prince to act... naughtily. And so we must find Legolas and heal him before it is too late!" Elrond's voice was still fluctuating with despair. One of the Mirkwood contingent elves stood up suddenly.
"Then we must go and save our adored Legolas!" All the elves nodded vehemently before arising to their new leaders challenge.
"Wait." Said Gandalf, one hand rose to stop the hasty rescuers. "In order to free Legolas completely we must destroy the One Spoon!"
"And how do we do that?" Asked the new elf leader, Adall.
"Well Adall, friend of Legolas we must pitch the spoon into the depths of Mount Doom!"
"Pity we don't know where the One Ring is really, we could do `em both at the same time and save everyone a lot of trouble!" Gandalf and Elrond nodded in agreement to Dwayne's statement.
And so the legend of the One Spoon unwound...
~*~
So what did you think people? I wonder if any of you guessed that cutlery was responsible? Anyhow As soon as I had finished my apple I got a whole bunch of replacement apples! This makes glad. These delicious apples (no curses attached) were provided by Jellibeana and Michelle. And so everyone review, unfortunately I have nothing to offer you as an incentive but another chapter...
The third thing I would do if owned Lord of the Rings:
Invite everyone round to my monkey palace and hold a gigantic bobbing for apples competition - the winner gets a lifetime supply of peanut M & M's and their footballer of choice.
"- The One Spoon." Elrond paused for effect. Everyone else was completely stock-still. One brave human, possibly Shayne managed to speak up.
"Um... sorry... but did you just say spoon? As in S-P-O-O-N?" Elrond nodded gravely. "Right, well, just checking." Shayne's question managed to break everyone out of their spoon induced stupor. Glog, brother of Grog cleared his throat.
"So we are talking about spoons then? The things we use to eat... say soup?" Elrond nodded even more gravely.
"Spoons? Ah yes but what kind of spoon? Soup or serving?" Asked Bog, who was the only one apart from Elrond who hadn't thought this even a little strange. A cloud of confusion crossed Elrond's face.
"I... don't actually know... anyhow that doesn't matter, what matters is Legolas is in grave danger and we must do something quickly!"
"Then shouldn't you tell us more about this... spoon?" Then as if by magic Gandalf the grey appeared. The easily impressed and people who hadn't seen him walk up gasped. Elrond was one of those easily impressed.
"Huh? How'd you do that?" He asked, awe-inspired that Gandalf had suddenly become so powerful he could crash secret meetings at will. Gandalf looked at Elrond earnestly.
"I walked." Elrond blushed before motioning Gandalf to an empty chair.
"Well now your here we need your immense expertise on the one... spoon" Gandalf nodded solemnly. `
"I too felt an evil presence covering Rivendell like a blanket but I would never have guessed something so positively evil but round could be responsible." Gandalf said, half exasperated, half amazed. "I will tell you the little I know of this truly dark and shadowy popular cutlery piece."....
"It was created in the fiery depths of Mount Doom: It is rumoured that at the very moment the Dark Lord was poring his heart, soul and evil tendencies into the One Ring that he was also snacking lightly on a nice bowl of minestrone soup. The evil aura surrounded the Dark Lord's bowl of soup, encasing it with its sinister power... The One Spoon is the very same spoon the Dark Lord was using to eat his soup with that fated day!" Gandalf's voice had grown low and menacing.
"So it was a soup spoon then?" Commented Bog with a quick triumphant glance at the encapsulated Elrond.
"But... but what happened to the soup and the bowl?" Asked Wayne, voice shaking with fear.
"Oh well he finished his soup and well the bowl's a bowl isn't it? And bowl's can't be evil!"
It took some time for everyone to calm down after this frightful tale. Eventually Elrond felt that he could continue.
"And so we all now know what is causing our beloved Prince to act... naughtily. And so we must find Legolas and heal him before it is too late!" Elrond's voice was still fluctuating with despair. One of the Mirkwood contingent elves stood up suddenly.
"Then we must go and save our adored Legolas!" All the elves nodded vehemently before arising to their new leaders challenge.
"Wait." Said Gandalf, one hand rose to stop the hasty rescuers. "In order to free Legolas completely we must destroy the One Spoon!"
"And how do we do that?" Asked the new elf leader, Adall.
"Well Adall, friend of Legolas we must pitch the spoon into the depths of Mount Doom!"
"Pity we don't know where the One Ring is really, we could do `em both at the same time and save everyone a lot of trouble!" Gandalf and Elrond nodded in agreement to Dwayne's statement.
And so the legend of the One Spoon unwound...
~*~
So what did you think people? I wonder if any of you guessed that cutlery was responsible? Anyhow As soon as I had finished my apple I got a whole bunch of replacement apples! This makes glad. These delicious apples (no curses attached) were provided by Jellibeana and Michelle. And so everyone review, unfortunately I have nothing to offer you as an incentive but another chapter...