~*~
The fifth thing I would do if I owned Lord of the Rings:
Enter the annual Smurf day on the international calendar so everyone around the world had to 'Smurf the whole daylong'.
~*~
There was powerful wind wiping the rocky landscape, bending trees with its assume might and howling like a wolf in the dead of night. This of course did absolutely nothing for Legolas's hair, tossing it to and fro like a tropical hurricane (Legolas had been in a tropical hurricane before and the ramifications for his hair where.... well lets just say he still wont talk about it even after hours of therapy and gallons of conditioner.) Legolas put his hands on his hips while he tried to figure out a way to punish the wind for messing his beloved liquid gold mane. A vein started to throb on his forehead, his eyes started to twitch, his hands gripped his by now sodden blue shirt as his anger mounted to an almost palpable level. The wind, who was incredibly astute for varying climate pattern, died down immediately. Legolas didn't even notice, he was far to busy plotting and scheming, eventually he picked up his bow and shot straight up in the air, so up the arrow went, propelled by the might of Legolas's bow it managed to reach the sanctuary of a low level cloud. Satisfied Legolas let his bow drop to his side, nodding to himself with obvious pride.
Now Legolas was an elf, a bright elf yes, but still an elf. And elves, as far as I know, haven't discovered gravity: there was no incident with a pointy eared happy vegetation lover sitting under an apple tree waiting for that little fruit to pop him on the head (this would never happen anyway as Adall would have been there to shoot them in the arse – so bye, bye gravity and hello arrow indented in anal.) And there was Legolas, brimming with pride and completely oblivious of the very sharp pointing thing, gathering speed and heading right for him. Lucky for Legolas he chose that moment to step forward and shake his booty with pride. The arrow whistled down, sailing past the dancing elf. But while Legolas was dancing his hair was dancing too so off went a whole section of his celebrated hair, failing to the ground with a swoosh, cut from it's holy temple by the sharp little arrow. Legolas stoped abruptly, turning ever so slowly. He saw it.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" Legolas fainted with shock. There he lay an evil elf with an interesting new hair style, in fact I think it is relatively safe to say Legolas's new hair style would be a first in middle earth (and hopefully a last.)
It was sometime before the understandably shocked elf woke. The day had turned to night and the wind, noticing that Legolas would be out for a while had started up again with a vengeance and had brought along some pals for the ride. Legolas's craggy surroundings were completely covered with two feet of powdery snow. He woke with a start, shivering all over. He stood up on terribly shaky almost completely numb legs and brushed off his blanket of snow while trying desperately to warm himself up. His mind was a muddle, he wasn't sure if was going to make it. He took a shuddering step forward but fell down almost immediately. His sight started to blur and then there was nothing.
A spoon slipped out of a pocket and landed on the snow....
~*~
Wooooooooooo! So dramatic! He he he he... did you like it! Well everyone kept on asking for a bit of the old Legolas so how could I refuse? Okay people I'm going to right and you're going to review – and if you don't soldiers it's the brig for you!